I'm nervous, anxious, scared, and a teensy bit excited about the surgery tomorrow. My fears are showing in odd ways too. As long as I keep busy, I'm okay but the second I stop or lay down for the evening, my brain runs rampant with crazy thoughts and everything I have to do and all the stress of work, learning a new job, my MBA, people in class, my friends, my family, the pain - everything. With all the maddness in my head it's hard to be affectionate or passionate with Dane. He's very upset about this and told me as much last night for about two hours. That only added to the stress that I feel and really made me feel like a piece of shit for everything.
Basically he thinks I owe him for what I'm calling on him to do. I thought that family and friends were there to take care of you in your time of need. I know that if he or any one of buddies or family members needed me to help them, I would be there in a heartbeat. So now I'm reconsidering all that I've asked of Dane and my other friends. I feel like I owe it to them to take back all the requests I've made. I guess this is something I really need to do myself. It was my choice to have this surgery and I shouldn't make it anyone else's concern.
Sometimes things are just more hassle than their worth.
4 comments:
I wouldn't stress about what you ask your friends to do. I don't mind sitting with you on Thursday and poking you with a stick while your all high on pain pills. Its what friends do. Dane's just weird.
And what, might I ask, do you owe him? I'm sorry.....Dane thinks YOU owe HIM something? Ok...I am SO TIRED....sigh...
Urgh...I'm not going to touch this right now b/c I've had it with guys lately. I love Dane dearly, but I've known him a long time and will give him a tongue lashing without batting an eyes because I KNOW he has his moments.
In my family, there is a saying that has been passed down for generations...it's pretty insightfult, ready?
BOYS ARE DUMB!
Yep, that's it. My Grandmother told it to my mother and my mother told it to me and I always thought it was a joke when I was a small child...but now I know, they were mereley giving me some useful and simple information to keep with me through the years and pass down to my sisters and daughters.
Stoooopid men!
Oh, sorry.
Wish I were there to help more, I'm sorry:(
Hang in there sister, remember how we've talked before about what happens in the world when woman take a stand and move toward with caring for themselves first?
peace,
s
sometimes homer simpson comes racing to mind when I read stuff like this. Not just your guy, but many of them.
"how am I going to eat if you're not here??"
total fear of having to do things they are not used to but THEN they realize that they have to not only take care of them, but you too.
I was resented for having to have emergency surgery. Don't even sweat it.
Thanks ladies - you guys are the best! Dane and I talked for a long time on Sunday night after the scuffle and we seemed to work things out. Dane says he's terrified too and was acting out and expressing his emotions in a negative manner. So was I so once we understood that, we understood each other.
Dane has been nothing but a dream for my in regards to my care. Now that I've made it through the worst part, our fears are gone and we can focus on the maintenance. :-)
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