Shame Shame - know your name

Ugh - so I am a horrible friend. In a crazy turn of events, I ended up lying to a friend rather than confessing. And there really is no excuse for that. I can explain (not justify) why I did such a thing, but it still doesn't erase the ugly fact that I lied. And I'm so horrible at it anyway.

Here's what happened - I was supposed to sync up with several different people for New Years Eve. Then Dane's boss invited us to a shindig at his place and that seemed like the best option, if not career suicide if we didn't go. All the way up until NYE we were planning on doing that, I was even going to get my hair done up all nice. But at the last moment we decided not to go to the boss-man's party. We had spent the evening before whooping it up and having a ball and we were just too tired and miserable to go do anything. Not wanting to try and explain that to others, we just pretended that we stuck w/ the original boss-man party plan. Now that would have been fine, no big deal. But for some STOOPID reason when I was asked about what we did for NYE I concocted this grandoise lie about being at the boss-man's house and hiding out in the coat room when we got this person's phone call. Why did I do that? Why did I lie? Why didn't I just say "Ya know - as it turns out, we just decided to stay home." I felt that if I didn't play it up like we went to the party, this person might think we were personally rejecting them and/or their plans for NYE when we just wanted to be alone.

For some reason I always feel like I'm letting people down to tell them "No" or to say "I'm going to sit this one out." In reality this person probably would have said something like "Are you sure? Well you are always invited out with us anytime. Have a good evening - talk to you tomorrow." Instead I had to make it into this big drama and LIE *hangs head*. I haven't done anything like that in a long, long time and I am very disappointed in myself.

In the grand scheme of things, this is not that big of a deal. I'm sure my friend has a raised eyebrow towards me now and might not trust me as much as they once did (and rightly so) but this person isn't going to throw in the towel over something like this (and rightly so). I just feel like a great big disappointment and wanted to catalog my thoughts and feelings so the next time I get the bright idea to lie, I'll think twice.

I doubt my friend mentioned above reads this blog, I don't even know if they have the address anymore. Regardless - Friend I am sorry. There is no excuse for a lie and I am in need of your forgiveness which I think I will ask for in person when I can explain my blunder. Till then I'll wallow in my guilt and remorse. *slaps hand for effect*