The Charmed Life

So Dane and I will be spending my birthday in Hawaii next weekend. It forces me to think about several things:
1) the energy I had the first time we went
2) the fiascos that ensued each time I've traveled

1) The first time we went to HI I prepared MONTHS in advance! Seriously. We went in March and I had all our activities planned inJanuary. And when I say activities, I mean I had every spare minute booked down to the second. L-I-T-E-R-A-L-L-Y. Anyone who knows how I've been in the past wont have a hard time believing that. Dane and I would wake up at 5, be at the pier at 6:30 and go non-stop all day between whale watching, a submarine dive, a tropical plantation tour, a catamoran ride to Lanai, a Jeep trek, a snorkel dive, sunset cruise, a luau, the aquarium, the sugar cane train, another snorkel dive, ANOTHER snorkel dive, tons and tons of stuff - it was insane. Now I think back and I adore those memories but I'm getting more laxed in my age and I told Dane only a few activities for the whole trip (rather than our 2 - 4 activities a day). So this time we have a shark dive, a snorkel dive, and a scuba dive planned and that's it. We will watch the Super Bowl too. And go to a luau. Otherwise I think a lomi lomi massage and lots of beach side reading are in order.

2) Dane and I are both nervous about what our travels will have in store for us. A recap:

A. First trip to HI: we sky-capped our bags and sent them to Outer-DIA-Space. Then we discovered a slight schedule change in our itinerary (thanks United), but significant enough for us to miss our connecting flight out of San Fran. At first United was saying they couldn't get us out there till the following morning - to which I sobbed uncontrollably explaining the activities and our bags are already GONE! So United got us on an American Airlines flight that just barely by the skin of our teeth made the Pacific coast cut-off time for flight departure from LAX (put simply, the last flight of the day leaves for Hawaii no later than 2pm, after that you can't depart till the next morning). So we were going to HI but United told us we "may or may not receive our bags". So the whole flight to HI I was stressed and hurt and sobbing over the fact that I might not have my bags. In the end we got the bags and all was well and I stressed for no reason. Lessons learned: book flights to HI landing in LAX/San Fran by 11:00 am so if you miss that flight, you can catch the 2:00. Second lesson: NEVER, under ANY circumstance, sky cap your bags at DIA if there is a connecting flight. EVER! Third lesson: don't stress about it till it's actually a problem.

B. Second trip to HI (solo - what a nightmare): I reserve an early morning flight (lesson one, previous chapter). I remember the flight time from the original booking and continue as planned. Dane walks in at 6:05 am "Why does your itinerary say your flight leaves at 7:15 am, I thought it left at 8:20 am..." I look at the clock, I look at myself in my underoos and socks, I think about the 55 min drive to the aero-puerto from our house and sigh. I know I won't make the flight. Not a chance in hell. DAMNIT! Why didn't I read the itinerary last night?! (lesson one, part deux) I get to the airport at 7:05 am (record time - good jorb Dane) and miss the flight. No big deal, I can catch the 9 or 10 am flight and still make it to LAX in time (thank you lesson one, previous chapter). I originally booked a 4 hour layover between flying into Oahu and flying over to the Big Island, so I know I will still make it to my retreat, sans layover now. I get to LAX and board the 2:00 pm flight there, it's pushing my original 4 hour layover to around 30 minutes, but I will still make my connecting flight. I breathe easy. 1/3 of the way over the Pacific ocean the Captain informs us of mechanical failure in the plane and we are heading back to LAX. WHAT?! To make a boring story long: we wait for an hour or so while they do whatever to fix it. Ultimately this was the best scenario as it would have taken longer to find and then board a completely different plane. At this point I will miss my connector but I have a good excuse so I'm sure I can catch the 10 pm flight, IF we make good time and my bags come right off the belt in front. We land safely and wouldn't you know it-my bags are FIRST off the conveyor belt! FINALLY - some luck! I'm on the other side so I have to wait for them to come around. When they do, only one is there - the other is gone. So I wait, thinking someone mistakingly grabbed mine but they will put it back once they realize it's not theirs (from the name tag and sheer weight - it had all my belly dance costumes and such in it). Normally I don't pack all of one type of item/thing in one bag, I disperse it in case a bag is lost, but because of weight issues and the delicate fabric of the dance costumes I had no choice but to keep things separate. So I wait. And wait. Nothing. I start to panic. I'm by myself and can't just leave all my other baggage there. So I grab all my bags and start running around squawking for my bag. Come to find out it's on a shuttle truck on its way to a cruise ship. You've got to be kidding me. I run, full tilt, 50+ lbs of luggage in tote (pun intended), after the truck. I catch it! My bag is in the farthest corner in the back. I wait. And wait while they unpack the whole truck. I get my bag and I start running - I might make it! And I run. And run. And jog. And trot. And walk. And drag. WTF?! The sign said "Aloha Airlines *arrow*" like it was just this way?! What I didn't know was that the Honolulu airport is shaped like a 'U' and I was on one end (U - for United) and Aloha was on the other end (A - for Aloha). By the time I get there it's after 11 pm and there is no one, I mean no one. The overhead lights are dark, there is no phone, no number, no nothing. I'm stuck. And United can't do anything for me because "they fulfilled their obligations by getting me to Honolulu, they have no contract to get me to Hilo (that was Aloha's job)". I sit down on the bag scale between ticketing podiums and start weeping uncontrollably. I only brought enough money to buy food. Everything else was prepaid and expensive as is. I don't know what to do once I get to Hilo, I'm supposed to be with a dance group. And since my 25th birthday isn't until next week, I can't rent a car to drive to the retreat. I'm stuck. I cry and cry and cry and then I notice my weight on the scale read out and burst into hysterics. At this time a janitor comes by and asks if I need help. I manage to say "supervisor" and "Aloha" between sobs. He runs away and I never see him again. A manager materializes and gets me booked for the 5:00 am flight so I can get to Hilo in enough time to meet my retreat shuttles before they leave. I ask about where I can sleep. I'm told (and I quote) "You can sleep on the lawn. But beware of hoodlums will try to mug you. But don't worry, there's security guards patrolling every hour." (end quote). I start crying again and don't stop till he takes my bags and locks them for the night (not a normal practice courtesy of 9/11). So now it's midnight HI time, about 3 am Denver time. I call Dane. I tell him everything and he declares no woman of his will sleep on the lawn, and demands me to go to a hotel on his dime (thanks Babe!). I get to hotel. They are booked. I simply stare at her. She goes to see what she can do. A room is suddenly available. I go to sleep for 3 hours. In the end I made it to my retreat but I learned some POWERFUL lessons on that trip. Most importantly, ALWAYS CHECK YOUR INTINERARY!!!

C. (Yes there's more) Cabos San Lucas: I'll make this very short - we "won" a trip to Cancun to be taken in October. Hurricane Wilma hit and we changed our tickets to Cabos San Lucas since we couldn't go to Cancun. While in Mexico, the company that "gave" us the "free" trip got a refund for our tickets, leaving us stranded in Mexico. 2 minutes before the flight was scheduled to leave, we had to spend $1000 on two one way tickets to Seattle from Cabos or stay in Mexico forever. We are given official sharpie and scratch paper tickets and RUN to the plane. We are seated in the back having to look at all the passengers on the way in. We ARE the assholes. I get seated and try to relax (remember lesson three, chapter one - it doesn't accomplish anything to stress). I look down at my cartoon-esche ticket and realize that it is dated for the next day. So this ticket will get us to the States, but not to Seattle. Only as far as SLC. I start to sob again. As the flight attendant starts to speak, she is distracted by my muted sobs and (on the intercom) asks if I'm okay. I shake my head "yes" dying from MORE embarrassment. She asks (over the intercom) if the other attendant can bring me some water. I could die. We make it home, despite the tickets and the mess of everything else, and another canceled flight.

So you can clearly see why I'm scared to travel. I'm almost half excited to see what this trip has in store. We are leaving on a 6am flight (lesson one, chapter one), we are not sky capping our bags (lesson two, chapter one), I have already checked our itinerary on a daily basis (lesson one, chapter two), and we booked the arrangements sans scandalous travel company (lesson one, chapter three), so I'm anxious to see what's left to learn. Stay tuned for the post after Hawaii!