*sigh* I think the rep I have is somewhat unearned. I have this reputation for needing to control things and being bossy and whatever. Here's my take on it - some of the best managers and seminar leaders will tell you that delegation is one of the hardest things to learn for managers. Well I have that skill down pat. I also know that when I delegate things that it is my responsibility if they screw up. So I delegate the easy stuff and complete the rest on my own. Call me controlling but shit gets done and gets done right most of the time. Every now and again something slips through the cracks or in rare circumstances when it is not appropriate for me to control things, I let it go and hope for the best. And time and time again I am disappointed. Then I have to realize that what is easy to me is not easy to others. It is my fault that things didn't turn out right, or rather "the way I wanted them". I take a deep sigh and realize that I should have just handled things. It's not a big deal in the small picture, but I am not a small picture person - I always look at the whole forest, not just the trees. For me small events similar to the ones mentioned above only affirm my fears of delegation and NOT controlling things. I don't know what to do!! Should I just let go and let everything fall to shit?! Should I control more?! ARGH!!! I will now share something my dad wrote to me, it's what I read in times like this:
"The point I have been working toward, is that although you are one of the most brilliantly gifted persons I know in your strengths, you will never be able to fully attain alone, you need a team. Your team members are (in order of importance): your life partner, your family, your friends, your associates at work. Anytime you degrade any of your team members openly or in your mind and attitude you also degrade yourself. The closer they are to you on the team chart, the more it affects you. Anytime you see someone stumble in something you are strong in, like your dad misspelling a word or your boyfriend lacking a little organization, resist the urge to react critically of them. Because there are things you are weak in, like economics, and there are things they are strong in, even if it is only keeping their cool when you have lost yours."
1 comment:
a) I always did like your dad, he's so warm and wise. You are lucky young lady to have such a loving father:)
b) As you continue with your Yoga and the meditative qualities it provides, I think you will continue to see the validity of practicing ideals of the Yogi in every day life, not just in terms of your own physical and spiritual body, but that of those around you as well.
c) I understand your control freak and perfectionist personality very well *wink* perhaps in a way that others cannot. Maybe because I believe I too have some of the similar frustrations, but I can tell you that for me...learning to just 'let' it go has been one of THE most important things I have done for myself and those around me. It is not to say that I practice this effectively at all times with everyone in my life, becuase I simply do not, old habits die hard. But like Yoga and playing the piano the more your practice, the more like second nature it becomes.
I am not suggesting that you need to 'change' or anything of the like, you be you, I love the you that you are;) But I do know that for me, releasing some of my own controlling behavior with others/and things I CANNOT control around me has made an ENORMOUS difference in my daily stress level. First, I had to figure out the WHY of it all? Why did I feel the need to do so? Was a chaotic childhood? Fear? Regreat? Purely reaction behavior? Uh...yeah, all those things and more...I began very clearly and conciously identifying the factors involved in the equation and it sort of just worked itself out from there.
It is not my intention to be rude in any manner or condiscending or anything...just wanted to share my thoughts based on your thoughts:)
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