So we all know that I have been confused and scared lately for a variety of reasons, namely - I am moving away from all that is secure and known to a place that is literally exotic compared to what I am comfortable with. I am scared of the constantly changing relationship I have with Dane. We all know that I sought some sort of comfort with Blue then quickly realized that I didn't want to push the boundaries with Dane. So in an effort to allieviate the confusion and find a ground zero I met with Dane in Portland for a rendez-vous.
I flew standby to PDX and got on the 8 o'clock flight by the skin of my teeth. I arrived in Portland and immediately went to work at the C&C PDX office - this was cool because I was able to log a full days work, get stuff done at the PDX office at little expense to the company. I spent the afternoon training Kelly and waiting for Dane. We met up at 5:30 and went to the Mark Spencer hotel, the only hotel available. We got ready, I wore my new black cocktail dress that Dane purchased for me the last time he was in Denver but in my haste to pack, I neglected to pack a pair of undies and each time the wind flared up, so would my dress. On top of that, I only packed what I was going to wear, nothing extra - a first for me, I always pack extra stuff "just in case". I didn't even pack my glasses - I had no room. Well my one and only black halter top with built in bra combusted, so I had no shirt for Saturday. So Dane and I made a B-line for a mall to look for undies and a shirt. We found a mall downtown and luckily Express had a really cute top on sale ($14.99) and across from Express was Victoria's Secret where I found the most comfortable, perfect thong ever!!!! With the crisis adverted, Dane and I walked to 4th and Washington to a Greek restaurant that had great food and live entertainment. We listened to Greek music, danced and participated in Greek traditions including flinging plates and the famous "Oupa!" shots. It was a great time. I ended up drinking more than I should have so Dane and I called it an early night.
Saturday we walked the Pearl District, got my nails fixed and a pedicure, ate lunch at a great Chinese restaurant, drank Starbucks on the street car, browsed used book and clothing stores, and then made our way to the hippest boutique hotel in Portland (how Dane pulled strings to get us in is beside me) the Jupiter Hotel. Think college dorm meets Travelodge. People would pull kegs into their rooms, leave the doors wide open, party all night, urban decor, awesome awesome place. Except I had a killer headache and my eye was swollen and red. We took a nap then decided to find a place to eat. Not convinced that the food at the Jupiter would be any better than a greasy spoon pad, I wanted to walk around. Dane thought we should stay. We walked around for almost 2 hours over 35 blocks and found nothing worth while. We finally went back to Jupiter exhausted and sat down for dinner to find ourselves having amazing food at amazing prices. I had to smile at myself and the situation and the irony of it all. I put my fork down, grabbed Dane's hand and said "Sometimes you have to look all over town at what's available to discover that what you wanted most was right there all along, all yours." He sat there stunned for a moment then admitted that he wasn't sure what to feel but that it was an astounding analogy. I smiled, he smiled and we enjoyed the rest of our night very quietly admist the partiers of Portland.
Sunday we made the most of our urban, freaky room before checking out. We took a cab to the Lloyd Center and arrived just in time to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. During the trailers, the lights came on and the movie stopped. Confused, we looked around to find that a woman in the back row had died - not breathing, not moving, just sitting there mouth agape. There was no panic, just silence, stillness, and confusion. Dane and I were wondering why no one was doing anything but almost instantly the paramedics arrived. An older man claiming to be the woman's son said "Please do not rescusitate her, I have her DNR orders right here, this is not the first time this has happened." The paramedics obliged and moved to pick her up and move her out of the theatre, when they did so, the woman's neck flopped forward and it was obvious that she was not alive. I ran out the theatre to fake stand in line at the concession stand just to see if the paramedics would honor her wishes. Normally paramedics don't (and shouldn't) honor DNR orders. A piece of history, DNR orders are for people who are already admitted into a hospital for a procedure or surgery of some sort, they are not meant to be honored in emergent situations where you are not stabilized. But in this case the son had the orders and provided all the information necessary and we all just stood around and waited patiently and compassionately for the woman to die. When she was pronounced dead, they put a blanket over her and wheeled her away, the son apologized to the theatre who in return shouted their condolences. The staff members passed out free movie passes for the "inconvenience" and the movie went on as planned. After the tramatic events and the good humored movie, Dane and I walked to the mall but could not stash our bags anywhere while we shopped. Instead we noticed an ice rink and it just so happened to be public skating. We rented skates and had a very impromptu, romantic afternoon ice skating. Afterwards we left each other, I to the East on the Max, Dane to the West in a cab. I was bound for a plane, he for a train.
It was sad leaving him again, but not quite as bad this time for I will see him again soon. I maintain that airports are the place to go to pick up on people - once again I was hit on at the PDX airport, I was flattered and embarrassed. I always feel bad when guys have enough guts to ask me out and I have to tell them that I have a partner. It makes things so awkward. I got a seat on the plane right away and slept most of the way back to Denver. Once home (for now) I talked to Peck all the way home, she is in town this week. We had fun and giggled and made plans for the week.
All in all it was a good weekend. I'm less confused now and things are settling back into place. I interviewed with the Salvation Army for an hour yesterday - first time I wore a tank top, Cubs hat, and smoked during an interview (I like this whole phone interview thing). We'll see if I hear back from them. I'm nervous about joining such a right wing religious nonprofit, but the Salvation Army is as people-compassionate as one can get. I'm not sure, we'll see.
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