I'm Tapping Out

I've done it. I've reached the limit for what I can handle. Over the years people have oft noted that I tend to stay busy and I like it that way. Most people would say that I have a lot on my plate, more than they would ever want to deal with at any given point in time. I've grown used to it albeit it's how I run my ship. But today I've realized that I have hit my limit. I'm tapping out. It's too much. The towel has been thrown. The fat lady has sung. The sun has set. My ship has sailed. Out.

The following list details everything that is going on in my life right now as of May 16th, 2007 at 10:55 pm.

Work

1. I've only been there two months so I'm still learning about the organization.
2. I'm still in the infant stage of understanding the financial software.
3. I'm preparing the budgets and leading the budget process for the entire organization.
4. I'm trying to wrap up April closing.
5. I have a report on April closing, Holiday Magic, and the auditors to present to the financial committee tomorrow.
6. I have to compile the 990.
7. I have to reconcile the balance sheet accounts.
8. I have to reconcile pledges.
9. I have to update and organize the W9's.
10. I have to create a policy and procedure manual.
11. Plus about a million other things like update the payroll spreadsheet, update the software for view only users and create their dashboards (it's not even worth explaining), meetings, phone calls, prepare for the audit, prepare for my time off, and of course the daily duties and activities not to mention month end shit.

Oh, and this needs to be done by next week. (yeah f*cking right) At least I get to work the next 3 Saturdays that I'm in town.

School
1. I have my usual reading, posting, and homework to do as I'm trying to earn a Master's degree.
2. On campus class on 6/2 (which I will most likely ditch).

Body
1. Workout for at least an hour.
2. Tan.
3. Laser hair removal.
4. Laser tattoo removal.
5. Surgery check ups.
6. IUD/abnormal pap check ups.
7. Hair color.
8. Eyebrow and lip tattoos.
9. Manicure/pedicure.
10. Get a massage (if I'm lucky).
11. Buy tampons (something I haven't had to do in five years).
12. Lose 10 lbs. in 6 weeks.

Wedding (let's not forget about that)
1. Plan the ceremony including the script and how/what will be said/done.
2. Get my dress tailored.
3. Get Dane's outfit.
4. Organize the rooms at the resort.
5. Organize the fun stuff surrounding the wedding.
6. Figure out when to go to the Mexican judge.
7. Figure out when to use the spa/hair styling services for the day of the wedding.
8. Figure out the final counts.
9. Figure out shuttle arrangements.
10. Take out massive loans from my credit card companies in order to pay this.
11. Get my ring fixed/made into a wedding band. Pick up Dane's ring.

Mind/Soul/House Stuff
1. Code all my finances and plan timing so I can take out the loans at the best time.
2. Figure out why UOP has charged me for school (another $1000) instead of my financial aid.
3. Figure out how to tackle the problems with Dane.
4. Laundry.
5. Feed the cats.
6. Order my food to be delivered.
7. Dishes.
8. Check email.
9. Blog.
10. Spring clean.
11. Donate clothes that I don't fit into and/or look good in anymore (as my shape has quite dramatically changed).
12. Call mom and dad.
13. Maintain contact with Peck, Amy, Sarah, and all my other out of state buddies.

Social (this is where it really gets out of control)
1. Prepare, practice for the parade (every Wednesday till June 16th).
2. Go to a movie Friday.
3. Go to a b-day party Saturday, along with work 8 hours, along with a costume class for the parade.
4. Train for the triathlon and 3-Day coming up (this is also "body" I guess).
5. Volunteer/participate for work on the following dates: 6/2 In The Mood, 6/3 Pajama Bowl, 6/7 Passages, 8/4 Back To School Festival.
6. Practice, participate in work-sponsored kickball (Mondays).
7. Go to Amsterdam 5/25 - 6/1.
8. Go to Portland 6/22 - 6/24.
9. Celebrate HG's b-ay by going to the spa 6/24 (I don't want to miss this or the spa's fried rice).
10. Go to Mexico to get married 6/29 - 7/10.
11. Shop for clothes and such for aforementioned events.
12. Raise $2200 for the Breast Cancer 3-Day.
13. Breast Cancer 3-Day expo, focus meeting training, and possible (and much needed) fundraiser.


As you can see my summer is pretty much spoken for already. Things wont stop for me until the fall, but at least little by little stuff will fall of my plate. And of course this is all on top of day-to-day activities and errands (grocery shopping, going to the bank, getting gas, eating, sleeping, paying bills, lamenting no money, playing with the cats, giving attention to Dane). You'll note that poor Dane was barely even mentioned in the above and that's quite literally because we don't have time to see each other and when we do, we fight because we are both so overloaded and overwhelmed we need to release and the only thing we can think to do is yell at each other for the stuff they don't do and the areas they are in deficit. *sigh* That's what put me over the edge. Dane pinned his troubles on me and that's when I said "I can't do this. I'm done." I can't deal with all the above AND his problems on top of that. I haven't even had a chance to breathe for myself let alone anyone else. I'm afraid that before I know it, everything will have passed me by and I won't have even noticed because I was so tied up in it all. When all the dust finally settles, what will I have to show for it? I hope more than a tattered marriage, a few photos, and huge pile of debt, that's for sure.

Anyway - so if I seem snotty or short or impatient or simply out of my mind, please do not take it personal. It has nothing to do with you, I'm quite exquisitely maxed out. If nothing else, I'll have an amazing story to tell ya when this is all said and done.

And for the record - as of October, I'm done with packing my schedule so much (I know I've said that before, but this time I really, really, really mean it). I'll have another break in school and I'll be vacationing to Colorado. The fiscal year will be closed and I will be starting the audit process so there will quite literally be nothing I can do other than that for a while. And then, when that's done....I'm going to party like it's 1999.