Stolen: 2006

So I am enjoying a glass of wine and sitting in my reading room listening to iPod and smoking hookah. Since I have nothing better to do, I checked out all my favorite blogs and did a little sneak blogging. I'm going to snatch an idea from one of the blogs I snuck a peek at and I hope the original author doesn't mind and if anything is flattered by the distant peeping. :-)

Top 5 2006 Moments
1. Getting engaged when I least suspected it.
2. Seeing all my buddies in CO.
3. Solidify my friendships in WA.
4. GRADUATING!!!
5. Hawaii for my 26th b-da7.

Bottom 5 2006 Moments
1. Seeking rental apartments when a breakup w/ Mr. Man seemed inevitable.
2. RBMBA's resignation and the drama surrounding it.
3. Learning all the ropes and the stress of my job.
4. Gaining weight.
5. Cutting ties with certain "friends".

Resolutions for 2007
1. Learn to deal with stress/change at work with less emotion/passion more logic/patience.
2. Manage my time between work, the Man, and my MBA with balance.
3. Lose weight for the wedding.
4. Maintain vegan lifestyle.

What I'm looking forward to in 2007:
1. The wedding! Including seeing family and friends and of course MEXICO!
2. Starting my MBA program and consequently taking the summer off. :-P
3. My surgery (but I'm also very scared of my surgery as well).
4. Getting into a routine at work.
5. Lots of fun, new adventures with RBMBA and HG.

2006 Reflections
Well it's been another year. It's hard to believe that I will be 27 in one month. Wow. I mean WOW!! And not "World of Warcraft" WOW, I mean holy sh*t wow. I remember one year ago going on a walk with Dane in our semi-new environment and lamenting over how I wasn't where I wanted to be at "26". I had some frustrations with work and school, but mostly over the lack of proposal from Mr. Man. And then I remember how bad it got over this past summer and the many, LARGE setbacks that I got from Dane and how torn I was in July. I don't know if anyone really knows, but I was this close ] to moving out. I even had an apartment picked out and an appointment to meet with the property manager. For real. I remember sitting down to a Taco Time lunch with HG and RBMBA and telling them "I don't know what I want to do. I'm so torn." And this was the Tuesday before Dane proposed. I always knew that Dane was a procrastinator, but effing A! I don't know if he'll ever know how close he was to losing me. He had to have known, I only spelled it out for him for 3 years! And after the "setback" I told him his shelf life for our relationship would go bad in weeks and sure enough, a few weeks later there we were on stage. I'm really glad he surprised me like that and put me on the spot. Had I not been caught like that, I might not have said yes looking at the mood I was in. Of course looking back, I'm GLAD things worked out the way they did because I would have made a huge mistake harboring my bitterness towards his proposal. And in the end we all got what we wanted, but what a rocky road in getting there, eh?

So this year...this year I will be 27. Dude, wtf?! Where did the time go? My mom was telling me a story the other night about 14 years ago and I kid you not, my instinctive thought was "what story could she be telling me about when I was 4?!" As it were, I was THIRTEEN 14 years ago!!! HELLO!! I WANT TO TALK TO THE MANAGER!!! WTF?! Shocking. I had to ask my mom to stop the story so I could catch my breath. And I know all my 30+ friends are clucking at me as they read this, but you know what I'm going through - you were here. I hate how everyone was right. I hate but love how I look back at my life with such nostalgia and "things were good back in the day". I laugh at my "strife" when I was a teen and long for the days when life was so seemingly simple and responsibility was as far away as China. But now somethings different. I have the ability to look at my 27 year old self from my 50 year old self's perceived eyes and go "silly girl, you had no idea what was what at 27 - what a child you were."

This blog has been a wonderful thing for me. I've completely enjoyed going back and looking at myself and watching my posts change over the past two years. It doesn't seem but a drop in the bucket, but if you look, you can see the subtle changes. I can see it in my friend's blogs too. I did a fun "activity" once before on the blog where I talked to myself after the fact. Now I'd like to do the opposite. I want to talk to my future self. And I've had just enough wine and NIN to do so.

To December 29th, 2007 Crystal Ewers:

Hi - I hope this finds you well. I've been wondering - now that it's been almost a year from your surgery, what do you think? Are you glad you did it? What about the payments you make -how has that treated you? What about work? Do you still lie awake a night torturing yourself over your conversations with Karen, Donielle, and Stefan? Do you still open your big mouth and fight the "oppression from the man"? Do you even work at TSA anymore? Do you think yourself silly for the stink you caused last year? Did it do any good or did you learn to just shut up? Have you stuck to the vegan diet/lifestyle and working out? Did you lose weight? What was the wedding like? Did all your plans pan out? How is the MBA program? I'm really scared of it right now. Are you still scared? Do you still dream big? Are we still going to be a lawyer and CPA or hold a PhD? Do we still foster cats? How's Dane? How's his WOW character? Hee hee. Do you still talk to RBMBA? How are your CO friends.

I guess I have more questions than advice or things to say. But how can I possibly have anything to say to you? You will learn it in your own time when you're ready and I could type till I ran out of blog and a) not know what I was talking about and b) you still wouldn't learn. I hope for both our sakes that you eventually learn to calm or control your fire. I love our fire but I'm beginning to think that we are quickly out-wearing out "youthful" excuse. Eventually you need to learn class and tact. We have the passion, motivation, and drive, now we need to refine it and really work it so we can get what we want without burning bridges.

Why is it so fucking easy for other people to just KNOW this shit?! Why has it taken you/us so effing long to figure it out?! Why can Dane and HG just know how to fight and stand up for themselves and have sound arguments and solid thought processes and you struggle to not cry like a baby when your upset. You better figure this shit out by this time next year or I'll - YOU'LL, be seriously put off!!

How's the Dewey!?!? *swoon*

Sincerely,

Crystal and Jebis
December 29th, 2006