This will be my last blog entry from the fine state of Colorado. As I sit here listening to Yanni, looking out my BEAUTIFUL office window at the GORGEOUS Colorado mountains I am filled with too many emotions to be overwhelmed by one single feeling. I feel sadness, awe, happiness, stress, excitement, fear, nostalgia, pride, humility, a sense of awesome accomplishment dimmed by the thousands of things that I just never got around to doing in Denver. I fear what I don't know that I can even do in Seattle.
I find that with leaving Denver, I am very restless. I do not think we will stay in Seattle more than 5 years tops. Who knows where we will move to, but I have a couple cities on my list that I want to live in: San Francisco, Atlanta, Manhattan, *maybe* Chicago, *maybe* a Texan city, London, Cairo - the list goes on. But I have a feeling that I am on a fast track now. It has me reconsidering things like getting another bike and all this scnazzy furniture. Who knows where my life will take me, but overall the feeling I feel the most right now is that this first step is not only the first step on my own, in a different direction, but I feel it is my first step into a headlong sprint. And I love that.
So cheerio Denver! I have wonderful and not so wonderful memories of this place. All of which I am taking with me. Alas, it is time to shed this old, dry skin.
Friday, August 26, 2005
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Looking Back
Dane asked me yesterday what would I say to myself if given the opportunity to travel back in time to April having experienced the whole summer and the stress of moving primary locations. At first thought, and what I told Dane, is that I wouldn't have said much of anything other than "you were prepared for this". But as I got to thinking about things, I thought better of my short-sighted advice to myself and decided there would be a lot of things I would say to myself (shock of shocks, I know). What I would say to my April Self:
Intermediate Accounting - you psyched yourself out too much for this class, but it was a good thing. Your fears helped you study and find a study pattern that worked best for you. You have spent a good year preparing for these classes and you handled them well. It was good that Dane was gone during this time. It was good that you decided to take the classes in Colorado. You made the right decision staying here.
Acting out - you need to be prepared for weird emotions that you have never felt before and ones that kinda sneak up on you and show themselves in seemingly harmless, or fun, or pretty packages. While you were expecting "missing" Dane, you were not prepared for the impact of the decision you made in regards to the level of commitment with this man. Be prepared for confused, angry emotions surrounding the level of commitment and sacrifice on your end vs. the lack of ring or formal commitment on his end. Be prepared for harmful situations that seem fun at the time but might not be the best thing for you in the short and long term. Try not to treat this summer as a prolonged bachelorette party....
Moving - it is a lot of work to pack and move a house, even when you plan it the way you did. Things never work out the way they do on paper, you know this, but it is still good to have a plan. It is also good to leave a lot of extra time to get things done that might have been pushed to the side (again, you know this but I'd like to reiterate it). You will be tired in body and mind and unable to get a good night's rest during the last week, but this is normal. You will be tired of fast food. The kitties will act out. You will resent Dane for not being there. This is all normal and life WILL stabilize. It will NOT be like this forever, dear. Hang in there.
Work - you will suffer from short-timer's syndrome whether you admit to it or not. Your anger at how the company is managed and the way the nonprofit money is spent and how the employees are not rewarded will compound and you will run your mouth. I'm not going to say this is good or bad, I'm simply going to tell you that you will do it. You may wish to keep your mouth shut at times, others you may wish to shout from the roof top. Regardless, when you leave, your attitude towards the company will be known by most employees.
Dane - you still haven't learned how to handle love have you? Will you ever, I wonder? It seems that ever since Isis died you have shut people out - oh, don't get me wrong. You let people in, care for people, let them know you love them, but you haven't ever really let anyone "get" you. Perhaps this is fallout from Mike, though I know you never loved him. Maybe it is from letting yourself fall in love too quickly with the man that killed Isis. That is probably it, you are worried that once you let someone get to you like that, they will turn around and do something so autrocious you will never be able to forgive yourself for what you consider selfishness. So why would Dane be any different? He's not. In fact he's been the only candidate for your love since Isis died. You would think that after 3 full years you would budge. I wonder why you find it so necessary to constantly threaten him with a break up. Is that your own insecurities? Is it that you think you settle for Dane? I would suggest you spend these next couple months thinking about that. Think about what you want Dane to be vs. what you know he is. Think about what you desire more. Think about his efforts to change. Think about your need to improve. Rather than building a Plan B, think about polishing up your Plan A. It IS your first choice, after all. Perhaps you should consider letting Dane all the way in and if you lose him, then you can deal with that when that day comes rather than living every day with him as if it has already been ended. He is not your enemy, he is your number one resource and reason for not going off the deep end. You better recognize, Crystal.
Parents - for as much as you give your mom or your family shit for being "obligated" to attend family functions, you are sure going to miss them. And it won't be obvious till you realize how much you still depend on them to bail you out certain situations. You will miss your mom's stories and fits. You will miss your dad's advice and his gentle demeanor. You will miss your sister and her whole family. You will miss Ashley and Zach growing up. You will probably never be prepared for cutting the family ties.
Conclusion - you have so much ahead of you Crystal, but you are sometimes entirely too stubborn and cocky to realize it. You are so busy getting to the destination, you forget to process and learn from the journey. There were so many lessons you could have learned without the hardships this summer. There were so many times you could have gained from just slowing down. I hope in Seattle you will learn the value of relaxing and spending quality down time with the ones you love. You don't always have to be accomplishing something in order to feel accomplished. Good luck to you, deary, I fear you will need it for a long time coming.
Intermediate Accounting - you psyched yourself out too much for this class, but it was a good thing. Your fears helped you study and find a study pattern that worked best for you. You have spent a good year preparing for these classes and you handled them well. It was good that Dane was gone during this time. It was good that you decided to take the classes in Colorado. You made the right decision staying here.
Acting out - you need to be prepared for weird emotions that you have never felt before and ones that kinda sneak up on you and show themselves in seemingly harmless, or fun, or pretty packages. While you were expecting "missing" Dane, you were not prepared for the impact of the decision you made in regards to the level of commitment with this man. Be prepared for confused, angry emotions surrounding the level of commitment and sacrifice on your end vs. the lack of ring or formal commitment on his end. Be prepared for harmful situations that seem fun at the time but might not be the best thing for you in the short and long term. Try not to treat this summer as a prolonged bachelorette party....
Moving - it is a lot of work to pack and move a house, even when you plan it the way you did. Things never work out the way they do on paper, you know this, but it is still good to have a plan. It is also good to leave a lot of extra time to get things done that might have been pushed to the side (again, you know this but I'd like to reiterate it). You will be tired in body and mind and unable to get a good night's rest during the last week, but this is normal. You will be tired of fast food. The kitties will act out. You will resent Dane for not being there. This is all normal and life WILL stabilize. It will NOT be like this forever, dear. Hang in there.
Work - you will suffer from short-timer's syndrome whether you admit to it or not. Your anger at how the company is managed and the way the nonprofit money is spent and how the employees are not rewarded will compound and you will run your mouth. I'm not going to say this is good or bad, I'm simply going to tell you that you will do it. You may wish to keep your mouth shut at times, others you may wish to shout from the roof top. Regardless, when you leave, your attitude towards the company will be known by most employees.
Dane - you still haven't learned how to handle love have you? Will you ever, I wonder? It seems that ever since Isis died you have shut people out - oh, don't get me wrong. You let people in, care for people, let them know you love them, but you haven't ever really let anyone "get" you. Perhaps this is fallout from Mike, though I know you never loved him. Maybe it is from letting yourself fall in love too quickly with the man that killed Isis. That is probably it, you are worried that once you let someone get to you like that, they will turn around and do something so autrocious you will never be able to forgive yourself for what you consider selfishness. So why would Dane be any different? He's not. In fact he's been the only candidate for your love since Isis died. You would think that after 3 full years you would budge. I wonder why you find it so necessary to constantly threaten him with a break up. Is that your own insecurities? Is it that you think you settle for Dane? I would suggest you spend these next couple months thinking about that. Think about what you want Dane to be vs. what you know he is. Think about what you desire more. Think about his efforts to change. Think about your need to improve. Rather than building a Plan B, think about polishing up your Plan A. It IS your first choice, after all. Perhaps you should consider letting Dane all the way in and if you lose him, then you can deal with that when that day comes rather than living every day with him as if it has already been ended. He is not your enemy, he is your number one resource and reason for not going off the deep end. You better recognize, Crystal.
Parents - for as much as you give your mom or your family shit for being "obligated" to attend family functions, you are sure going to miss them. And it won't be obvious till you realize how much you still depend on them to bail you out certain situations. You will miss your mom's stories and fits. You will miss your dad's advice and his gentle demeanor. You will miss your sister and her whole family. You will miss Ashley and Zach growing up. You will probably never be prepared for cutting the family ties.
Conclusion - you have so much ahead of you Crystal, but you are sometimes entirely too stubborn and cocky to realize it. You are so busy getting to the destination, you forget to process and learn from the journey. There were so many lessons you could have learned without the hardships this summer. There were so many times you could have gained from just slowing down. I hope in Seattle you will learn the value of relaxing and spending quality down time with the ones you love. You don't always have to be accomplishing something in order to feel accomplished. Good luck to you, deary, I fear you will need it for a long time coming.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
As We Speak
I am on the 2nd interview with Salvation Army as we speak. Well, not yet - I am waiting for them to call....And then I will write more. I am trying so hard not to be nervous and just let it go - I think I am so nervous because I think I really want this job even though it is a significant pay cut and all the way downtown. But to have SA on my resume, and the job just sounds so challenging and wonderful. Okay, okay. Worse case scenario I don't get it. I've had numerous calls from temp agencies the last two days, so I will call them if I don't get hired on at SA, and who knows - maybe the Hopelink job is still available. A cursory check of Craigslist and their own website indicates that the job is still there. And that job pays more and is in Redmond. When I originally sent my resume out, the CFO emailed me back and asked what my timeframe was, I responded and have not heard back from her since, even after I emailed a second time. If I don't get the SA job, I will email her a third time and say that I noticed the job was still available, would she still be interested in a phone interview. For now, I am going to sit and look out my beautiful office window at the amazing Colorado scenery and take it all in and calm down. *deep breath* More in a moment....
UGH!!!! I take that back - the worst case scenario would be waiting for ANOTHER two weeks!!!! I have an in-person interview on 9/2 at 9:00. I said "Would it be too bold to ask where I rank among the candidates?" LONG PAUSE "Well, we are still in the interview process, but I'd say you rank quite highly." Me "Great, thank you so much for your time, I look forward to meeting you on September 2nd at 9:00 am." Them "Great, nice speaking with you too, Crystal, see you soon!"
ARGH!!! Well I am going to continue calling these other places that called me and set interviews up as well, but I will hold off on calling Hopelink till I actually arrive in Seattle. It is, afterall, still another 3.5 weeks before I can start work.
UGH!!!! I take that back - the worst case scenario would be waiting for ANOTHER two weeks!!!! I have an in-person interview on 9/2 at 9:00. I said "Would it be too bold to ask where I rank among the candidates?" LONG PAUSE "Well, we are still in the interview process, but I'd say you rank quite highly." Me "Great, thank you so much for your time, I look forward to meeting you on September 2nd at 9:00 am." Them "Great, nice speaking with you too, Crystal, see you soon!"
ARGH!!! Well I am going to continue calling these other places that called me and set interviews up as well, but I will hold off on calling Hopelink till I actually arrive in Seattle. It is, afterall, still another 3.5 weeks before I can start work.
Monday, August 15, 2005
Greater Things Than I
So there are greater forces at work here. Even more so than I thought possible. I've always been a firm believer that things happen for a reason, regardless of whether that reason is known or not. I will not get in to all the crazy details of the past week, but suffice it to say that the Universe was already preparing for decisions not yet made. There were bodies and events in motion long before we knew what the end result would be. To capitalize on a few events:
1) Randy offered on Tuesday to take my car on Friday to Seattle via the trailer that we are purchasing from him - took care of my car, our need for a trailer, and freed up the moving van from towing.
2) On Tuesday we were offered a house which would work wonders for our living situation with any guests. As it turned out, we opted out of that house in favor of a bigger house with a bigger lot for lots and lots of parking room.
There are other things going on as well, but all good things. I am confident that Rhi needs to get away from Denver in order to dispose of all her excess baggage and move on with Kate. I have no doubt Kate will be a good friend for her regardless of what happens in their relationship, but she realizes and encourages Rhi to make this move in order to mop her life up. I'm glad Rhi's going - for selfish reasons and because I know that it is the right thing for her.
I've never denied being selfish - no one can ever accuse me of that. I'd like to meet one person who is truly selfless - maybe Ghandi, Mother Theresa? I also want what is best for those around me and I truly believe that Dane and I can help Rhi the way she needs it. We've agreed to be harder on her (I know some would say that I am too hard on her - but what do they know about my relationship with Rhi behind closed doors, probably about the same amount as I know about their countless relationships) when it comes to finances and money so she can really get a grasp on her checkbook. Besides, we won't know anyone in Seattle, so the invitation to go out weekly won't be there.
So in all these rambles - I guess I just have to say that I am glad with how things are going. And I truly miss Dane. It's funny cause this whole summer I've been like "WHHHOOOO!!!!!" And now that I finally start to REALLY REALLY miss Dane, it's time to leave. So I'm like "Eh, I'll see him in two weeks. WWWHHHHOOOOOOO!!!" HAAH! Just kidding. I missed him a lot this weekend.
*raises cup* To Seattle AND BEYOOONNNDDD!!!!
1) Randy offered on Tuesday to take my car on Friday to Seattle via the trailer that we are purchasing from him - took care of my car, our need for a trailer, and freed up the moving van from towing.
2) On Tuesday we were offered a house which would work wonders for our living situation with any guests. As it turned out, we opted out of that house in favor of a bigger house with a bigger lot for lots and lots of parking room.
There are other things going on as well, but all good things. I am confident that Rhi needs to get away from Denver in order to dispose of all her excess baggage and move on with Kate. I have no doubt Kate will be a good friend for her regardless of what happens in their relationship, but she realizes and encourages Rhi to make this move in order to mop her life up. I'm glad Rhi's going - for selfish reasons and because I know that it is the right thing for her.
I've never denied being selfish - no one can ever accuse me of that. I'd like to meet one person who is truly selfless - maybe Ghandi, Mother Theresa? I also want what is best for those around me and I truly believe that Dane and I can help Rhi the way she needs it. We've agreed to be harder on her (I know some would say that I am too hard on her - but what do they know about my relationship with Rhi behind closed doors, probably about the same amount as I know about their countless relationships) when it comes to finances and money so she can really get a grasp on her checkbook. Besides, we won't know anyone in Seattle, so the invitation to go out weekly won't be there.
So in all these rambles - I guess I just have to say that I am glad with how things are going. And I truly miss Dane. It's funny cause this whole summer I've been like "WHHHOOOO!!!!!" And now that I finally start to REALLY REALLY miss Dane, it's time to leave. So I'm like "Eh, I'll see him in two weeks. WWWHHHHOOOOOOO!!!" HAAH! Just kidding. I missed him a lot this weekend.
*raises cup* To Seattle AND BEYOOONNNDDD!!!!
Monday, August 08, 2005
This Just In!
I haven't heard from the Salvation Army in over a week and a half so I think that they filled the position. I'm a little shocked that I haven't heard from them telling me that they filled it, but whatever. I thought since they were talking about flying me up there that I was at least in the finals. Whatever.
AND THEN I got a call this morning from Becca at The Salvation Army apologizing for not calling me back and asking if I could fly up for an interview. I said I was fairly booked over the next 3 weeks between meetings, packing, lunches, dinners, seminars, finals, and other stuff so we worked out a second phone interview with the Director of Finance and the Director of Human Resources. It's next Wednesday at 4:15. I have a feeling that they want me, but I'm still nervous and scared that the director's might not like me. We'll see.
AHHH, it will be so nice if I have a job when I get to Seattle, then when I take a week off - it will really be like a vacation. Well, if it was meant to be, it will happen.
AND THEN I got a call this morning from Becca at The Salvation Army apologizing for not calling me back and asking if I could fly up for an interview. I said I was fairly booked over the next 3 weeks between meetings, packing, lunches, dinners, seminars, finals, and other stuff so we worked out a second phone interview with the Director of Finance and the Director of Human Resources. It's next Wednesday at 4:15. I have a feeling that they want me, but I'm still nervous and scared that the director's might not like me. We'll see.
AHHH, it will be so nice if I have a job when I get to Seattle, then when I take a week off - it will really be like a vacation. Well, if it was meant to be, it will happen.
Out of the Frying Pan....
And into the fire! These last 3 weeks are going to FLY by!! I have so much to do!! The garage sale was a success, after I took my cut, paid for breakfast and 2 lunches for Rhi and I, and expenses, Dane and I pocketed over $300. Considering most of this stuff was given to us to begin with and/or we would have been happy donating it, I think $300 is not bad! Basically it will pay for the passage to Washington which includes gas, meals, and one stay at a hotel. I got the kitty sedatives, started packing the garage, sorted through throw away stuff and donation stuff - I'm on a roll!!
This weekend was fun yet exhausting, you would not believe how tiring it is to sit in the shade and sell stuff. Well, we were also moving stuff around, jumping up and down all over the place. On Friday it was nonstop from 6:30 am - 12:30 pm our longest break lasting 10 min and 48 seconds (I was on the phone w/ Dane the whole time, that's how I know). Saturday was really slow, I closed by noon. In the evening I joined Rhi for a hockey game Kate was playing in, MAN can she skate and play or what!! She was the cleaniest skater out there, very graceful. All the other skaters where tripping over themselves trying to keep up with her. Afterwards we went to D&B with some teammates. That was fun for a while, but I wanted something more upbeat, so we went to Croc's. Had time for one drink then went home. We stayed up for a while but I was exhausted and crashed out in my comfy bed. Rhi time traveled on the couch. Sunday was a completely useless day, spent entirely on the couch watching movies and reading (I am reading The Thorn Birds). I broke down and went grocery shopping - I am so sick of fast food, but frozen food isn't much better. :( I am packing up the kitchen next weekend, so the food I had to get had to be something that wouldn't dirty a dish.
*sigh* Life is moving fast around me. A girl is just lucky to keep up.
This weekend was fun yet exhausting, you would not believe how tiring it is to sit in the shade and sell stuff. Well, we were also moving stuff around, jumping up and down all over the place. On Friday it was nonstop from 6:30 am - 12:30 pm our longest break lasting 10 min and 48 seconds (I was on the phone w/ Dane the whole time, that's how I know). Saturday was really slow, I closed by noon. In the evening I joined Rhi for a hockey game Kate was playing in, MAN can she skate and play or what!! She was the cleaniest skater out there, very graceful. All the other skaters where tripping over themselves trying to keep up with her. Afterwards we went to D&B with some teammates. That was fun for a while, but I wanted something more upbeat, so we went to Croc's. Had time for one drink then went home. We stayed up for a while but I was exhausted and crashed out in my comfy bed. Rhi time traveled on the couch. Sunday was a completely useless day, spent entirely on the couch watching movies and reading (I am reading The Thorn Birds). I broke down and went grocery shopping - I am so sick of fast food, but frozen food isn't much better. :( I am packing up the kitchen next weekend, so the food I had to get had to be something that wouldn't dirty a dish.
*sigh* Life is moving fast around me. A girl is just lucky to keep up.
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Tick Tock Tick Tock
Time is moving slower than a pregnant snail. Now that I want to leave, things seem to be excruciating. I can't believe it is only the 2nd of August at the same time that I can't believe it IS the 2nd of August! In four weeks I will be driving to Tri-Cities, Washington. Wow.
I am so wishy washy. I think it's just my general age in life but also the events that I am working through. One second I don't want to go and I'm all confused, the very next second I'm all gung ho ready to go. I need to find the happy medium and just hang out there for the next 4 weeks. Enjoy my last moments in Colorado but positively look forward to my future in Washington. I've developed a list of things that I want to change about myself and habits I want to break somewhere between the Oregon and Washington borders.
1. I want more time with Dane and less time with acquaintances.
2. I want to eat healthier, I hope to find one of those Super Supper places in WA. http://www.suppersolutionsinc.com/
3. I want to wake up earlier and have more time for myself in the morning (actually eat breakfast at home, read the paper or a magazine, go for a walk)
4. I want to start going for evening walks with Dane
5. I want to cut back on spending and do my belly dance on tapes
6. I want to do yoga at least 3 times a week
7. I want to make my home a comfy place that I want to live in and come home to with decor and personal touches - I don't want it to be a mess or boring or anything like the Lameria house was.
8. I want to have more time for art, music, and dance.
Crap - this blog is tragically cut short due to my need to train the LOSER JOE!!!
I am so wishy washy. I think it's just my general age in life but also the events that I am working through. One second I don't want to go and I'm all confused, the very next second I'm all gung ho ready to go. I need to find the happy medium and just hang out there for the next 4 weeks. Enjoy my last moments in Colorado but positively look forward to my future in Washington. I've developed a list of things that I want to change about myself and habits I want to break somewhere between the Oregon and Washington borders.
1. I want more time with Dane and less time with acquaintances.
2. I want to eat healthier, I hope to find one of those Super Supper places in WA. http://www.suppersolutionsinc.com/
3. I want to wake up earlier and have more time for myself in the morning (actually eat breakfast at home, read the paper or a magazine, go for a walk)
4. I want to start going for evening walks with Dane
5. I want to cut back on spending and do my belly dance on tapes
6. I want to do yoga at least 3 times a week
7. I want to make my home a comfy place that I want to live in and come home to with decor and personal touches - I don't want it to be a mess or boring or anything like the Lameria house was.
8. I want to have more time for art, music, and dance.
Crap - this blog is tragically cut short due to my need to train the LOSER JOE!!!
Monday, August 01, 2005
Seattle or Bust Revisited!
I went back and looked at my April postings surrounding the initial idea to move to Seattle - as soon as we got the news, the waiting period, the offer, and since. And I thought I would revisit the FAQ's from April. I have decided to post both the original post and the revised post (in that order).
1. When will you leave?
Dane leaves for Seattle on April 24th. He will be back in Denver the end of May and *maybe* June (if we go to Jamaica/other). I will not leave till the end of September. I have school, work, rental lease, and other loose ends to tie up in Denver.
By now we all know that Dane has already left. My last day at the office will be August 26th, I am having a moving party August 28th, and I will leave with the truck, FXYLADY, 2 cats, and the Rhi on Monday morning, August 29th. Bon Voyage!
2. Does this mean I will never see Dane again?:
No. Friday, April 22nd, we are going to have a get-together to congratulate Dane on his job and see him off with warm hugs and wishes. Special guest appearances by Peck and (hopefully) Paula. The end of September will host the official going-away party for me and Dane.
At this point, Dane has already come and gone several times throughout the summer. We are not planning another visit for Dane nor are we having another going-away party, mine was July 15th.
3. What about the Luau?:
I am sorry, but the Luau is cancelled.
The luau was cancelled but we enjoyed a great luau at Randall and Shawndell's house in June.
4. Why are you moving to Seattle?:
Dane is moving because he was offered a great job opportunity complete with better pay, benefits, fringe benefits, better/bigger company, etc. I am moving because my options are: move with Dane or leave him. There is no question what I am choosing. I am excited to go to Seattle because I can learn the art of belly dance from the dazzling Delilah delightening and the lucious Laura Rose. :) Seattle is also bigger and has a bigger accounting community - for reasons I do not know. Seattle also has great universities for me to attend.
Dane is enjoying his great job and glad he made the move. So far he loves Seattle. I don't know if I will belly dance with Delilah live, I may just use her videos and occasionally attend workshops. I think I will be very picky about how I spend my free time and I would prefer to focus more energy on yoga. In the end though, I am moving to Seattle for a fresh start with Dane. I have a lot of baggage and weight on my "tree" in Colorado. Uprooting to a new place will give me the chance to shake the dead wood and branch off in new directions.
5. Is there a UOP in Seattle?:
Yes - there are 5 UOP locations for me to choose from. From there I will most likely attend Seattle University for my dual master's program.
While there are 5 UOP locations, there is only one location that teaches my program...on Saturdays...half online half on campus....But it will be okay. Since the accounting program there is 6 months behind me, I will fill September through March with 3 elective courses and a couple weeks off here and there. I will start my accounting program where I left off here on March 18 in a southern Seattle campus. From there I don't know what I will do, probably continue on with my Master's and get my CPA no later than 2010. After that I am still considering a law degree, however I don't feel that I will do it concurrently with my Master's in accounting.
6. Where will Dane live when he's in Seattle?:
Dane will reside in corporate housing until I come up in September. The house has high speed internet.
He still lives there but is currently house hunting for us.
7. Are you going to see Dane after he moves to Seattle? Will you be lonely?:
I will see Dane in May and June in Denver. I will probably fly up to Seattle to see him in July, August, and September so I can assume a job and help with the house hunting process. Yes, we will be extremely lonely and miss each other a lot, but we will both have a lot going on to keep us occupied. And there's always late night yahoo. :)
We have both been really lonely and confused and this has definitely taken a toll on us. I have been up to Seattle once, he has been to Denver twice, we went to Moab together, and had a rendez-vous in Portland. There has not been late night yahoo. There has been too much going on to keep us occupied.
8. How is Rhi handling this?:
Rhi is a trooper. She realizes this is a step Dane and I have to make and is supportive and helpful to the enth degree. She is considering her options at this time and will probably make more concrete decisions as the summer wears on. She is sad, but understands (better than I did at her age I might add) that this is a simple fact of life. We are all aware that distance in location does not mean there has to be a distance in friendship.
Rhi is still handling it well. We both feel that the relationship is not ready to be over yet, but we aren't sure what that means at this time. It will definitely be an adjustment for both of us to acclimate to life without each other, as we are both very dependent on each other in some ways, but we will persevere. It will be okay. I know we will always keep in touch.
9. Are you scared?:
I'm spooked outta my g*d-d*mned mind!! I have never cut the apron strings (so to speak). Although I have lived on my own for a while, I have never really been away from mommy and daddy and that will be a big adjustment for me to make. But I'm just as excited as I am scared.
I am still scared. But that comes and goes and now I tend to feel more excitement. Course that will change in another week so keep posted.
10. Will you have to rely on Dane?:
For what? No. Dane and I have always been both self-sufficient and each other's number one resource. I plan to have a job upon my arrival in Seattle. If not, then Dane and I will help each other out so that we realize the right path in the right time.
At this time, I will be paid through September which gives me the whole month of September without cutting into my savings to find a job. I have not heard back from Hopelink or Salvation Army so I assume that I did not get the job. Which is fine, I get the feeling that I have some worth while qualities and won't have any difficulty finding a job when the time is right. If nothing else, I have several contacts for temp work. To answer shortly - no, I will not be relying on Dane financially. For everything else though, he will be my #1 resource!
11. How do you feel about leaving C&C?:
I am very sad. Again, there was/is no question regarding my decision to follow Dane out to Seattle. Having said that, I am making certain concessions to be with him. Leaving an absolutely fabulous dream job is one of them. I have all the flexibility, benefits, mentoring, great pay, etc. that a 25 yr old could possibly want here. I love the people, I love the mission, I love what I do, I love my office, I love it. However, having said that - there is something to be said for being too comfortable and (as my friend Joe pointed out today) stagnant. He never stays at a job longer than 2 years and explained that he gets more experience that way, never gets bored or comfortable. I like that. I never planned on staying at C&C my whole career (thank you Paula) and as the beautiful Gwen Stefani would say "Whatchu waiting for? Take a chance, you stupid hoe. Take a chance cause you might grow."
If I wasn't already leaving, I would be leaving. I cannot believe what the powers that be are doing to such a formerly great nonprofit. They are raping the mission, depleting all funds, and ignoring the public outcry. Our employees have not received a raise in almost 2 years, many who were hired on at entry level have accepted promotions without pay increases and still work for their entry level pay. On the other hand, the company is so frivilous that they pay TWO CEO's a total of $210,000/year!!!!!! What they make individually is outrageous for a nonprofit our size let alone paying TWO PEOPLE that amount!! And one of the CEO's is completely unqualified!! No degree, no experience, she micro-manages, she belittles her employees. A horrible, horrible CEO. On top of that, I have climbed as far as I can here. My job no longer has any challenges, I can do it in my sleep. It's time to move on.
1. When will you leave?
Dane leaves for Seattle on April 24th. He will be back in Denver the end of May and *maybe* June (if we go to Jamaica/other). I will not leave till the end of September. I have school, work, rental lease, and other loose ends to tie up in Denver.
By now we all know that Dane has already left. My last day at the office will be August 26th, I am having a moving party August 28th, and I will leave with the truck, FXYLADY, 2 cats, and the Rhi on Monday morning, August 29th. Bon Voyage!
2. Does this mean I will never see Dane again?:
No. Friday, April 22nd, we are going to have a get-together to congratulate Dane on his job and see him off with warm hugs and wishes. Special guest appearances by Peck and (hopefully) Paula. The end of September will host the official going-away party for me and Dane.
At this point, Dane has already come and gone several times throughout the summer. We are not planning another visit for Dane nor are we having another going-away party, mine was July 15th.
3. What about the Luau?:
I am sorry, but the Luau is cancelled.
The luau was cancelled but we enjoyed a great luau at Randall and Shawndell's house in June.
4. Why are you moving to Seattle?:
Dane is moving because he was offered a great job opportunity complete with better pay, benefits, fringe benefits, better/bigger company, etc. I am moving because my options are: move with Dane or leave him. There is no question what I am choosing. I am excited to go to Seattle because I can learn the art of belly dance from the dazzling Delilah delightening and the lucious Laura Rose. :) Seattle is also bigger and has a bigger accounting community - for reasons I do not know. Seattle also has great universities for me to attend.
Dane is enjoying his great job and glad he made the move. So far he loves Seattle. I don't know if I will belly dance with Delilah live, I may just use her videos and occasionally attend workshops. I think I will be very picky about how I spend my free time and I would prefer to focus more energy on yoga. In the end though, I am moving to Seattle for a fresh start with Dane. I have a lot of baggage and weight on my "tree" in Colorado. Uprooting to a new place will give me the chance to shake the dead wood and branch off in new directions.
5. Is there a UOP in Seattle?:
Yes - there are 5 UOP locations for me to choose from. From there I will most likely attend Seattle University for my dual master's program.
While there are 5 UOP locations, there is only one location that teaches my program...on Saturdays...half online half on campus....But it will be okay. Since the accounting program there is 6 months behind me, I will fill September through March with 3 elective courses and a couple weeks off here and there. I will start my accounting program where I left off here on March 18 in a southern Seattle campus. From there I don't know what I will do, probably continue on with my Master's and get my CPA no later than 2010. After that I am still considering a law degree, however I don't feel that I will do it concurrently with my Master's in accounting.
6. Where will Dane live when he's in Seattle?:
Dane will reside in corporate housing until I come up in September. The house has high speed internet.
He still lives there but is currently house hunting for us.
7. Are you going to see Dane after he moves to Seattle? Will you be lonely?:
I will see Dane in May and June in Denver. I will probably fly up to Seattle to see him in July, August, and September so I can assume a job and help with the house hunting process. Yes, we will be extremely lonely and miss each other a lot, but we will both have a lot going on to keep us occupied. And there's always late night yahoo. :)
We have both been really lonely and confused and this has definitely taken a toll on us. I have been up to Seattle once, he has been to Denver twice, we went to Moab together, and had a rendez-vous in Portland. There has not been late night yahoo. There has been too much going on to keep us occupied.
8. How is Rhi handling this?:
Rhi is a trooper. She realizes this is a step Dane and I have to make and is supportive and helpful to the enth degree. She is considering her options at this time and will probably make more concrete decisions as the summer wears on. She is sad, but understands (better than I did at her age I might add) that this is a simple fact of life. We are all aware that distance in location does not mean there has to be a distance in friendship.
Rhi is still handling it well. We both feel that the relationship is not ready to be over yet, but we aren't sure what that means at this time. It will definitely be an adjustment for both of us to acclimate to life without each other, as we are both very dependent on each other in some ways, but we will persevere. It will be okay. I know we will always keep in touch.
9. Are you scared?:
I'm spooked outta my g*d-d*mned mind!! I have never cut the apron strings (so to speak). Although I have lived on my own for a while, I have never really been away from mommy and daddy and that will be a big adjustment for me to make. But I'm just as excited as I am scared.
I am still scared. But that comes and goes and now I tend to feel more excitement. Course that will change in another week so keep posted.
10. Will you have to rely on Dane?:
For what? No. Dane and I have always been both self-sufficient and each other's number one resource. I plan to have a job upon my arrival in Seattle. If not, then Dane and I will help each other out so that we realize the right path in the right time.
At this time, I will be paid through September which gives me the whole month of September without cutting into my savings to find a job. I have not heard back from Hopelink or Salvation Army so I assume that I did not get the job. Which is fine, I get the feeling that I have some worth while qualities and won't have any difficulty finding a job when the time is right. If nothing else, I have several contacts for temp work. To answer shortly - no, I will not be relying on Dane financially. For everything else though, he will be my #1 resource!
11. How do you feel about leaving C&C?:
I am very sad. Again, there was/is no question regarding my decision to follow Dane out to Seattle. Having said that, I am making certain concessions to be with him. Leaving an absolutely fabulous dream job is one of them. I have all the flexibility, benefits, mentoring, great pay, etc. that a 25 yr old could possibly want here. I love the people, I love the mission, I love what I do, I love my office, I love it. However, having said that - there is something to be said for being too comfortable and (as my friend Joe pointed out today) stagnant. He never stays at a job longer than 2 years and explained that he gets more experience that way, never gets bored or comfortable. I like that. I never planned on staying at C&C my whole career (thank you Paula) and as the beautiful Gwen Stefani would say "Whatchu waiting for? Take a chance, you stupid hoe. Take a chance cause you might grow."
If I wasn't already leaving, I would be leaving. I cannot believe what the powers that be are doing to such a formerly great nonprofit. They are raping the mission, depleting all funds, and ignoring the public outcry. Our employees have not received a raise in almost 2 years, many who were hired on at entry level have accepted promotions without pay increases and still work for their entry level pay. On the other hand, the company is so frivilous that they pay TWO CEO's a total of $210,000/year!!!!!! What they make individually is outrageous for a nonprofit our size let alone paying TWO PEOPLE that amount!! And one of the CEO's is completely unqualified!! No degree, no experience, she micro-manages, she belittles her employees. A horrible, horrible CEO. On top of that, I have climbed as far as I can here. My job no longer has any challenges, I can do it in my sleep. It's time to move on.
Ready...Set...GO!
I wish I could time travel to August 29th! This weekend was a lot of fun. We got a lot of work and play accomplished. Sam has started moving out, items that we don't want have made their way to the garage for sale. It's becoming physically obvious that Dane and I are moving. What has also become obvious is how I feel. I am ready to move. No longer confused, I am simply just waiting for time to pass. I'll explain further.
I've met a lot of new people in the past two months. Unfortunately I have been very confused during the last couple months and that presents a false image of not only who I am, but who I am with Dane. These wonderful people pick up on my fears and confusion and unwittingly perpetuate it - probing me for answers and justifications. Even people I have known for a while have second guessed my quest. All this and many other things have contributed to my craze. I have done an enormous amount of soul searching the last couple of weeks and have made immense progress - both over the course of two weekends and sometimes in a matter of two seconds. It boils down to the following: when Dane and I made the decision to go to Seattle (it was a joint effort for those who don't know or remember - I knew from the get go that the only way Dane would go is if I would, it sounded fun, I was ready for something different, and I would never stand in the way of this opportunity for Dane), we were in a stable, comfortable position. There was low drama in our life and the idea of a new, exciting city was irresistible. Understand, however, that that was over 4 months ago. We have been in limbo for a while. Had there only been 4 weeks between the decision and move, things might have been different - perhaps easier. Instead, we have had to deal with a myriad of emotions and hardships that even under normal circumstances would cause difficulties. Dane and I are away from each other, I am moving for the FIRST time in my life - I am a Denver native. Digging up my deep, deep roots and putting them in new soil is scary! I am in the middle of INTENSE accounting classes with an overwhelming amount of homework and material to cover. I am training my replacement at work - a task that I am almost ill prepared for. I have not had the time to do the things I love like yoga and belly dance. All these things have contributed to the unstability I feel in my life. Add a cute guy on that and you've got one freaked out chick. And understandably so.
It's taken 2 weeks and lots of rooting around for the causes of my confusion and anxiety, but I have discovered them as well as my conclusion. When my life was stable and I was in a calm atmosphere, I made a decision to move to Seattle. And no matter how scary it is, I know in my heart of hearts that it is the right move for me. Making a decision to stay in Denver just because of fear would be rash and possibly lead to even more heartache and confusion. Once I realized this, my fear literally evaporated and the anxiety was overcome with excitement to leave Denver and join my partner for my new life in Seattle.
I've met a lot of new people in the past two months. Unfortunately I have been very confused during the last couple months and that presents a false image of not only who I am, but who I am with Dane. These wonderful people pick up on my fears and confusion and unwittingly perpetuate it - probing me for answers and justifications. Even people I have known for a while have second guessed my quest. All this and many other things have contributed to my craze. I have done an enormous amount of soul searching the last couple of weeks and have made immense progress - both over the course of two weekends and sometimes in a matter of two seconds. It boils down to the following: when Dane and I made the decision to go to Seattle (it was a joint effort for those who don't know or remember - I knew from the get go that the only way Dane would go is if I would, it sounded fun, I was ready for something different, and I would never stand in the way of this opportunity for Dane), we were in a stable, comfortable position. There was low drama in our life and the idea of a new, exciting city was irresistible. Understand, however, that that was over 4 months ago. We have been in limbo for a while. Had there only been 4 weeks between the decision and move, things might have been different - perhaps easier. Instead, we have had to deal with a myriad of emotions and hardships that even under normal circumstances would cause difficulties. Dane and I are away from each other, I am moving for the FIRST time in my life - I am a Denver native. Digging up my deep, deep roots and putting them in new soil is scary! I am in the middle of INTENSE accounting classes with an overwhelming amount of homework and material to cover. I am training my replacement at work - a task that I am almost ill prepared for. I have not had the time to do the things I love like yoga and belly dance. All these things have contributed to the unstability I feel in my life. Add a cute guy on that and you've got one freaked out chick. And understandably so.
It's taken 2 weeks and lots of rooting around for the causes of my confusion and anxiety, but I have discovered them as well as my conclusion. When my life was stable and I was in a calm atmosphere, I made a decision to move to Seattle. And no matter how scary it is, I know in my heart of hearts that it is the right move for me. Making a decision to stay in Denver just because of fear would be rash and possibly lead to even more heartache and confusion. Once I realized this, my fear literally evaporated and the anxiety was overcome with excitement to leave Denver and join my partner for my new life in Seattle.
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