Fail

This wont be a long post but enough to say that I know without a doubt that I failed my first exam. I thought I was prepared but ended up leaving the exam in tears.

Update: I started writing this post several days ago. And while I still feel like I failed the exam, I was told by several of my classmates and teacher tonight that I should not completely give up hope. They maintained that the tests are weighted or "normalized" and that I could very well pass. I still feel like an epic failure though. I'm quite sure I failed.

I say this because over 1/3 of the questions I felt like I didn't even know what they were asking let alone how to answer them. Of the questions I thought I knew how to calculate I would go through the motions and arrive at an answer that wasn't even listed. I studied the material extra hard and gave little thought or attention to comprehension or how to pass the questions on this exam. Sounds silly but hear me out. I felt like I had a good handle on comprehension and the trickery that the CPA exam pulls. I'm a critical thinker so I felt I didn't need to focus on that as much as the material. Boy was I wrong! It does NO good to know the material if you can't even decifer what is being asked!

I've spent the past week in a funk. A depressed funk. I was actually crying during the exam and barely got out of the testing center before having a complete meltdown in the bathroom and again in my car. I managed to drive to Mark and Angela's and took a 20 minute pout nap before rallying to go out for the evening. Then I didn't do a lick of studying on Sunday and have spent the past week briefly going over the FAR material but not really caring because I've resigned to not passing the BEC or FAR exam (I take the FAR exam this Saturday).

What would be hysterical is if I passed BEC and failed FAR because I lapsed on my studies from being hurt over life. I would definitely deserve that! I will go to this exam on Saturday with the intention of playing to win but with the reality check of knowing that I will probably be going to this Super Bowl again.

I've Googled some great resources and feel like I have a new understanding of the exam and study techniques I can employee to pass the final two: AUD and REG. The clock resets this Saturday and there's still hope for these exams. Then, in Fall, I can take the BEC and FAR exams one at a time and pass.

Having said all this, Dane was able to put things in perspective for me. He has been laid off from his job (the same day as my failed exam actually - guess Dane wanted to out-do me, hee hee) so we have much bigger fish to fry. He's got a few things lined up so it should work out but it definitely put a damper on our spirits and put the brakes on moving forward with any big plans like purchasing a house, even though interest rates are AWESOME right now. It's okay - we need to pay off more bills anyway before we can do anything like that.

Work is going well, the weight loss has stalled out a bit (see above depression) but I'm getting back on track. I'm excited to go to Colorado in May and see all my CO buddies and as an added bonus I get to see Peck and Amy - whoot whoot!!!

That's all for now, folks!