Top 5 2007 Moments
1. My wedding in Cabo.
2. AMSTERDAM!!
3. My new job and very successful solo audit process!
4. Starting my MBA.
5. My surgery transformation
Bottom 5 2007 Moments
1. Gaining weight.
2. Watching the crap some of my loved ones struggled with.
3. Starting my MBA.
4. Realizing I will never have a close relationship with my sister.
5. Stress from filling my plate with too much stuff.
(Wow - if that's the worse I can come up with, then it was a pretty bang up year)
Resolutions for 2008
1. Manage my weight, healthy eating.
2. Manage my time between work, the Man, and my MBA with balance.
3. Maintain a journal.
4. Continue to improve my listening and patience skills.
What I'm looking forward to in 2008:
1. Egypt!
2. Other travel plans including seeing Amy, possibly my grandparents, and friends in CO.
3. Our first anniversary.
4. Improving on my position at work.
5. Continuing my MBA program, I'll be closer to graduating this year!
2007 Reflections
Well talk about a year of transformation! From my body to my mind to my career, marriage, and everything in between! I guess when I consider it all in one breath for a recap, 2007 was a very big year for me. I probably did more growing up and moving on to the next chapter of my life than even I can realize right now. One thing I can say for sure is that this year was definitely the most positive one I've had in a long time. Not much, if any, regrets. It was difficult for me to find 5 lows. I feel like I'm not articulating myself well so I'll try to parce it out.
First I turned 27 but that was really overshadowed by two major events. #1 my surgery and #2 my job change. Both happened within the same week. Actually all three things, surgery, job, and birthday happened within a week of each other. Now that all is said and done I'm very pleased with the surgery and I would do it again. It was worth the pain and price tag. And even though I've gained some weight back, I'm working harder than ever to get and keep it off now and I've gained a new lease on life. It feels good to look nice in clothes and have a very feminine body even if I am chubbier than most.
Next my job. I jumped several positions and pay grades with this new job and at times felt like I had put myself in a position to fail but I didn't. Whether it was due to the fantastic advice of knowledgeable friends or figuring stuff out in my own time I was able to make it work and prove to myself more than anyone that I could do it. I continue to move forward and learn everyday and handle myself better, more maturely. Who would have ever thought based on last years post.
Then, of course, I got married. That in and of itself was a huge step in the right direction but I'll pause for a moment to talk about Dane's growth. He's made tremendous strides at work and really taken things up to the next level. He's a manager of his department now and while we thought he'd leave Denali, he ended up staying and making more money and honing in on more responsibility. I couldn't be prouder or happier for him. Back to getting married. After what I thought was inevitable break up in 2006 it was great to get seal the deal and take my relationship w/ Dane to the next level. I can't quite explain it but something has changed and I feel a sort of power almost in the security and love that we share. My husband. I love saying that. More than I thought I would. And of course it felt great to coordinate the surprise renewal and ring for my mom. I really feel like I've given back to them part of what I took when I was growing up and being a hellion. It all contributes to the whole theme of my maturity and really coming of age in 2007, as cheesy as that sounds.
The opportunity to travel abroad with one of my best friends ever was also a remarkable experience. It was truly eye opening to see another country (that's not Mexico or Canada) and see how Americans are treated (good, of course) and how we are perceived. I'm even more excited to visit Egypt this year but Amsterdam was definitely one of the "high" points of my life.
All this good isn't without a con though. My trip back to Colorado was great. I loved seeing my friends and visiting Isis's grave but my interactions with my sister left me feeling like our relationship will never be what I want it to be and at the very best we can be polite to each other. It's a sad day when discover the only thing that binds you is DNA. I'm sad, but don't really feel a loss. Except when I consider the kids. But I never really got to see them much anyway and any attempt I made at a relationship with them was thwarted with silly rationales like "terrorists might attack when the kids are with you." I somehow think that Stacy thinks I am to blame for Isis's death and maybe I am (not a day goes by that I don't blame myself) but it's troubling when your own family thinks it. And I could be WAY off base but the truth is I'll never really know. Stacy is not the most honest person and has a "face" that she puts on for the world while she keeps her true cards very close to the vest. Perhaps someday things will change, but she holds grudges like no other and I think that after this Cmas of no gifts for the kids she'll never forgive me. Probably for the better anyway. I can't take anymore heartache from trying to be her pal and being shunned.
As for my MBA, I can tell that even that has played a positive role in my life, despite all the hardwork it is. I see that I reflect more on everything, especially business related and I definitely have better troubleshooting and analysis skills. I'm excited to move forward but very much longing for the day when online discussion questions and gap analysis does not rule my life.
Overall 2007 was an amazing year. It will be tough one to top as far as growth and I'm not sure I'd be up for it again so soon. This year I finally learned what my limits were and when too much was enough. If anything this year will be a laid back year for growth and activity (save traveling). I'm solid in my position at work and school. I've gotten in to a healthy routine with eating and the gym. I've slowed down my social life to a pace that I've never experienced and I'm very happy with everything. Where once I double and even triple booked my free time I find that I guard my time off and sometimes even (unfortunately) hurt feelings when I decline to book my dance card. Mostly I've learned what works for me and I've learned that what works will constantly change as I grow and develop.
I'm excited for 2008. Though not much is on the docket yet, it feels like the year is already booked out through July. And actually, it is. Due to financial concerns, Dane and I are running very lean with money and events till Egypt then afterwards I have a small surgery revision then by the time that's done it will be audit season before I know it. I feel like I could already write my 2008 recap but I'll save that for this time next year.
Friday, January 18, 2008
Monday, January 14, 2008
Letter to Myself
To December 29th, 2007 Crystal Ewers:
Hi - I hope this finds you well. I've been wondering - now that it's been almost a year from your surgery, what do you think? Are you glad you did it? What about the payments you make -how has that treated you? What about work? Do you still lie awake a night torturing yourself over your conversations with Karen, Donielle, and Stefan? Do you still open your big mouth and fight the "oppression from the man"? Do you even work at TSA anymore? Do you think yourself silly for the stink you caused last year? Did it do any good or did you learn to just shut up? Have you stuck to the vegan diet/lifestyle and working out? Did you lose weight? What was the wedding like? Did all your plans pan out? How is the MBA program? I'm really scared of it right now. Are you still scared? Do you still dream big? Are we still going to be a lawyer and CPA or hold a PhD? Do we still foster cats? How's Dane? How's his WOW character? Hee hee. Do you still talk to RBMBA? How are your CO friends.
I guess I have more questions than advice or things to say. But how can I possibly have anything to say to you? You will learn it in your own time when you're ready and I could type till I ran out of blog and a) not know what I was talking about and b) you still wouldn't learn. I hope for both our sakes that you eventually learn to calm or control your fire. I love our fire but I'm beginning to think that we are quickly out-wearing out "youthful" excuse. Eventually you need to learn class and tact. We have the passion, motivation, and drive, now we need to refine it and really work it so we can get what we want without burning bridges.
Why is it so fucking easy for other people to just KNOW this shit?! Why has it taken you/us so effing long to figure it out?! Why can Dane and HG just know how to fight and stand up for themselves and have sound arguments and solid thought processes and you struggle to not cry like a baby when your upset. You better figure this shit out by this time next year or I'll - YOU'LL, be seriously put off!!
How's the Dewey!?!? *swoon*
Sincerely,
Crystal and Jebis
December 29th, 2006
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Crystal and Jebis,
Thank you for the kind letter. Now that it has been almost a year since my surgery I can say that it was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I look and feel great. I am disappointed that I've gained some weight back after all I've done to improve my condition but now I will just have to work harder to get and keep the weight off. Financially I've managed to make the payments and it's not so bad. Though I do think once the wedding and Egypt is paid off I'll transfer debt to take advantage of a lower interest rate.
Work is going well, though I'm in a different job than I was when you wrote the letter. I work for Treehouse now and it's going great, I'm back to a smaller, more focused nonprofit and I couldn't be happier. I work when I want, get a ton of time off, more money, better people, better location, I even have a parking spot! And no, I don't torture myself about the conversations I once had w/ LD, DM, and Stefan. LD is still a hooch, DM is moving on, and Stefan is reaping what he sowed. Ahh - the oppression from the "man". I do still open my mouth but even in the last year I've learned to curb what I say and focus on getting my point across without increasing the decible level of my voice. Mentioned above, I no longer work at TSA and I actually don't regret the stink I caused. Perhaps I could have handled it better, but in the end I think its funny. Stefan was so mad - I'd never seen him that mad before. It tickles me now because I don't have to deal with it and I got out of there. Maybe I'd feel different if I were still there.
I haven't stuck to the vegan diet. I did really well through March but I was having a very difficult time healing from the surgery and the doc finally got fed up and said I needed to eat animal protein - be that from eggs, cheese, milk, whatever. I immediately gained back all the weight I'd lost being vegan but I'll have to admit - Mama loves her cheese.
The wedding was beautiful - wouldn't have changed a thing. It was pulled off exactly as planned and it was one of the best times of my life.
Still in the MBA program. My grades have been gradually decreasing but I do have an A+ in this class so far. I'm not scared anymore but very tired of school. I have worked out a new homework plan that works out very well though. I am a little nervous for the all online accounting classes, but what can you do? I'm not so sure I dream big anymore. I've definitely decided I'm done with school for a while now. So no PhD, at least in the near future. I will definitely get my CPA, that's not even up for debate. As for a law degree...that still sounds somewhat enticing, but again - I want a nice long break from school so I can travel and such.
We haven't fostered cats since Nov when we added One Eyed Willie to the group. I'm not sure if we will start fostering again or not. We kinda like the quiet. We'll see though, it was nice to foster cats.
Dane is good - his career is going well. He's now the manager of his department and this week he's in CA training his crew. He still plays WOW and in fact we got in to it the other night because he can't come to bed at a decent hour.
Of course I still talk to RBMBA - all that jazz with TSA blew right over us and we were left with a great foundation for a fun friendship. CO friends are good. Amy lives in Tampa now and I'm going to visit her next week. Sarah is still in CO and doing well.
As for what you say next, you are correct. It's funny because I can probably draw a timeline: in my younger years I didn't know I was so out there and blatant. Then I didn't care that I was. Then I wanted to change it but didn't know how. Then I realized it had to change. This past year has been a transition from knowing I've needed to change and actually changing. This year a refinement of the refinement is what I'm working on. More class and tact, less yelling, less cussing, less losing my head. It's starting to become a part of my make up and I bet by next year I'll be even better at keeping my cool.
HA! The next paragraph is even better! Don't worry C, you've figured it out. You aren't there yet - but you are learning and you are making progress. :-)
Till next year,
CJE 2007
Hi - I hope this finds you well. I've been wondering - now that it's been almost a year from your surgery, what do you think? Are you glad you did it? What about the payments you make -how has that treated you? What about work? Do you still lie awake a night torturing yourself over your conversations with Karen, Donielle, and Stefan? Do you still open your big mouth and fight the "oppression from the man"? Do you even work at TSA anymore? Do you think yourself silly for the stink you caused last year? Did it do any good or did you learn to just shut up? Have you stuck to the vegan diet/lifestyle and working out? Did you lose weight? What was the wedding like? Did all your plans pan out? How is the MBA program? I'm really scared of it right now. Are you still scared? Do you still dream big? Are we still going to be a lawyer and CPA or hold a PhD? Do we still foster cats? How's Dane? How's his WOW character? Hee hee. Do you still talk to RBMBA? How are your CO friends.
I guess I have more questions than advice or things to say. But how can I possibly have anything to say to you? You will learn it in your own time when you're ready and I could type till I ran out of blog and a) not know what I was talking about and b) you still wouldn't learn. I hope for both our sakes that you eventually learn to calm or control your fire. I love our fire but I'm beginning to think that we are quickly out-wearing out "youthful" excuse. Eventually you need to learn class and tact. We have the passion, motivation, and drive, now we need to refine it and really work it so we can get what we want without burning bridges.
Why is it so fucking easy for other people to just KNOW this shit?! Why has it taken you/us so effing long to figure it out?! Why can Dane and HG just know how to fight and stand up for themselves and have sound arguments and solid thought processes and you struggle to not cry like a baby when your upset. You better figure this shit out by this time next year or I'll - YOU'LL, be seriously put off!!
How's the Dewey!?!? *swoon*
Sincerely,
Crystal and Jebis
December 29th, 2006
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Crystal and Jebis,
Thank you for the kind letter. Now that it has been almost a year since my surgery I can say that it was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I look and feel great. I am disappointed that I've gained some weight back after all I've done to improve my condition but now I will just have to work harder to get and keep the weight off. Financially I've managed to make the payments and it's not so bad. Though I do think once the wedding and Egypt is paid off I'll transfer debt to take advantage of a lower interest rate.
Work is going well, though I'm in a different job than I was when you wrote the letter. I work for Treehouse now and it's going great, I'm back to a smaller, more focused nonprofit and I couldn't be happier. I work when I want, get a ton of time off, more money, better people, better location, I even have a parking spot! And no, I don't torture myself about the conversations I once had w/ LD, DM, and Stefan. LD is still a hooch, DM is moving on, and Stefan is reaping what he sowed. Ahh - the oppression from the "man". I do still open my mouth but even in the last year I've learned to curb what I say and focus on getting my point across without increasing the decible level of my voice. Mentioned above, I no longer work at TSA and I actually don't regret the stink I caused. Perhaps I could have handled it better, but in the end I think its funny. Stefan was so mad - I'd never seen him that mad before. It tickles me now because I don't have to deal with it and I got out of there. Maybe I'd feel different if I were still there.
I haven't stuck to the vegan diet. I did really well through March but I was having a very difficult time healing from the surgery and the doc finally got fed up and said I needed to eat animal protein - be that from eggs, cheese, milk, whatever. I immediately gained back all the weight I'd lost being vegan but I'll have to admit - Mama loves her cheese.
The wedding was beautiful - wouldn't have changed a thing. It was pulled off exactly as planned and it was one of the best times of my life.
Still in the MBA program. My grades have been gradually decreasing but I do have an A+ in this class so far. I'm not scared anymore but very tired of school. I have worked out a new homework plan that works out very well though. I am a little nervous for the all online accounting classes, but what can you do? I'm not so sure I dream big anymore. I've definitely decided I'm done with school for a while now. So no PhD, at least in the near future. I will definitely get my CPA, that's not even up for debate. As for a law degree...that still sounds somewhat enticing, but again - I want a nice long break from school so I can travel and such.
We haven't fostered cats since Nov when we added One Eyed Willie to the group. I'm not sure if we will start fostering again or not. We kinda like the quiet. We'll see though, it was nice to foster cats.
Dane is good - his career is going well. He's now the manager of his department and this week he's in CA training his crew. He still plays WOW and in fact we got in to it the other night because he can't come to bed at a decent hour.
Of course I still talk to RBMBA - all that jazz with TSA blew right over us and we were left with a great foundation for a fun friendship. CO friends are good. Amy lives in Tampa now and I'm going to visit her next week. Sarah is still in CO and doing well.
As for what you say next, you are correct. It's funny because I can probably draw a timeline: in my younger years I didn't know I was so out there and blatant. Then I didn't care that I was. Then I wanted to change it but didn't know how. Then I realized it had to change. This past year has been a transition from knowing I've needed to change and actually changing. This year a refinement of the refinement is what I'm working on. More class and tact, less yelling, less cussing, less losing my head. It's starting to become a part of my make up and I bet by next year I'll be even better at keeping my cool.
HA! The next paragraph is even better! Don't worry C, you've figured it out. You aren't there yet - but you are learning and you are making progress. :-)
Till next year,
CJE 2007
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