My Capstone class is in hot debate about the difference between ethics and morals. Many students are conservative and hold high regards for their ethics that they believe everyone should adhere to. My opinion: stand true to what you believe is right for you. As long as you are not endangering anyone (including yourself) then who's business of anyone is it to tell you what's right and wrong for you?
*sigh* Many people don't see that though. They get caught up in "saving" the world. So what is the difference between ethics and morals?
In other news - work is going well considering the circumstances. The SPO audit is coming along with minor hangups, which is a huge accomplishment. I've been working closely with DM and a couple times this week things got tense (not between us) but we've worked through it and laugh and life is good. I'm still WAY behind but I'm making progress, which is all anyone can hope for these days. I find that having a more lax attitude is improving my conduct at work. I feel bad for RB and HG when they wince as they ask me how things are going. Okay, they don't wince and they geniunely care about me, but if I was them after all the rants and raves I've forced on them I'd be a little scared to ask me how I feel. It feels good smiling and saying "It's okay. How are you?"
Wedding: I purchased my plane ticket. Turns out United does fly to Cabo and I was able to get a ticket using my miles. $66 for airfare to Cabo. Not bad. Of course it does mean Dane and I will be taking separate flights to/fro Cabo. He (nor I) like that idea but at this point if it means saving $500 I'll take that. When I searched about 2 weeks ago for tickets from SEA to Cabo they were about $260, now the cheapest is $480. I'm hoping with the declining gas prices and what not that the tickets will go down and my family and friends will be able to purchase tix at a reasonable price. There's always last minute fares and summer specials, but if my guests are anything like me that wait would make them uncomfortable. The best advice would be to keep your eye out and when you see a price that is reasonable, jump on it.
Birthday: Dane's 28th b-day is this Sunday. So far we are going to dinner tomorrow, the hockey game on Saturday and then staying in Queen Anne for a night of frivalty and panty raids at the Mediterranean Inn where RB and TJ will be staying. :-) Dane is so far taking it better than he took 27. More news as the story develops.
School: Other than the ethical dilemma, I have less than 3 weeks till I have a bachelor's degree. I'm excited, of course, but when I started 3 years ago I knew that I wasn't stopping till I got to a master's degree and passed the CPA exam. In that light, I've only completed step one of three. Not to mention it was the easiest step. I'm so very thankful to have HG as a school companion to suffer through with and RB MBA as a role model having freshly completed the program. I don't know how I'd do it successfully without them. GO TEAM! As for the CPA exam, law school, and/or PHD program, that's still up in the air. I may get through the master's program and decide that's enough. But not likely. What would be the use of going through all the trouble of a master's degree in accounting without certifying it.
Diet: I don't feel the diet is going well but according to my measurements I am steadily losing weight/inches. I haven't been consistently going to the gym and TKD or BD or yoga every day, but I am consistently doing at least one of the four, four times a week. I'm also doing a good job sticking to the low fat diet. That's probably the biggest key.
Amy: I'm very excited for Amy's upcoming trip to SEA. We plan to go to Noc Noc to see LR and the Burlesque show.
********dee dee dee dee deee****** THIS JUST IN!!! Dane just exclaimed that he can't believe he's turning 28. He says it might as well be thirty. And how old am I? ONLY 26 - that's young!!*********we now return to your regularly scheduled program**********
Friday night we will probably just hang at the house (perhaps after a happy hour w/ HG and the Hub, and hopefully RB and TJ) and sit in the tub and catch up on catty gossip. Saturday I will go to school for the LAST TIME EVER ON CAMPUS!! Then we will prep for the party and my departure from Earth via Absynthe. It's even on HG's to-do list courtesy of drunken power at Hurls on 9/16. Sunday we will recover from said debotchery and wish Amy a fond farewell.
At that point I will commence my yearly mourning period for Isis by watching her movies, painting, reading, and sobbing in the privacy of my home surrounded by cats.
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Whoops
Has is really been two weeks since I posted? Wow - my bad. Dude things are hairy at work. I can't even begin to describe how much stress I'm under. And it's all brought on by myself. My peers know that you can only do what you can do, but I seem to think I need to be all dramatic about it. I actually cried myself down the stairwell into my car. I think the big boss saw because not long after that RB texted and left a voicemail and invited me to lunch tomorrow. She's got to get sick of massaging my ego. Plus she had a horrible day too. I really need to just grow up already. It's hard though and as I'm discovering, not something I can do overnight. :-(
A recap of my portfolio so I can get it out and move the eff on:
CdA - Beginning to become the biggest pain in my ass. I've sent several WRONG invoices up to THQ solidifying my reputation there as a complete dumbass. Latest blunder: I made over a $12,000 mistake on the August invoice. And I lost $159.64. No idea where it is. Plus the clerk posts stuff to nonexistant accounts and/or companies making it difficult to clear the 1890 acct.
ES - Leftover from my old portfolio till we get someone new, these guys don't give me a lick a trouble and they're small, hardly on the radar.
GH - My own personal hell. The officer is an aggressive, volitile Czech native who is impossible to understand and even more impossible to please. He's already threatened and bullyied me to the point of me coming off my rocker and yelling at him. Very professional, Crystal. Way to win them over with your charm.
RV - The most scandalous of the group, I have to babysit the payables and can't process a damn thing without the big boss's say so. Needless to say, this ties up an already slow invoice processing flow. Other than that they are nice.
ST - Awe, another one of my oldies but goodies. A big corps as far as volume but not maintenance. They have questions here and there but never call me names or take up my time and are respectful and understanding when I can't get back with them right away.
SPO - Where to begin? This unit came to me in shambles just in time for a new Major Pain officer, audit, and all sorts of advisory board meetings. The Major thinks his shit doesn't stink nor does he like it when I tell him it does (in the nicest way of course). This is also the Major over CdA so I can't be too mean to him. The volume of this corps is absolutely nuts and everything is fucked up. Nothing ties to anything. The people are nice enough but pushy and needy. Not to mention the crap I get from them is exactly that - crap. Nothing is ever coded correctly, blah blah blah.
TAC - Mother effers. Needy, whiney, complaining, dramatic a-holes. And two faced! They will be nice to me and say I'm doing great one minute and then tar and feather me the next for shit that is completely out of my control or I never even knew was an issue. I'm beginning to realize my predecessor was too swamped to meet the needs of her units and I'm taking the punishment for it.
*sigh* I think once I get through this next month, things will be okay. I just have to suck it up and dredge through. It's going to be one hell of a party on the 21st of October though!! No more school, no more crazy work - I'm going to get bedazzled on Absynthe leave the earth for a while.
My food is done.
A recap of my portfolio so I can get it out and move the eff on:
CdA - Beginning to become the biggest pain in my ass. I've sent several WRONG invoices up to THQ solidifying my reputation there as a complete dumbass. Latest blunder: I made over a $12,000 mistake on the August invoice. And I lost $159.64. No idea where it is. Plus the clerk posts stuff to nonexistant accounts and/or companies making it difficult to clear the 1890 acct.
ES - Leftover from my old portfolio till we get someone new, these guys don't give me a lick a trouble and they're small, hardly on the radar.
GH - My own personal hell. The officer is an aggressive, volitile Czech native who is impossible to understand and even more impossible to please. He's already threatened and bullyied me to the point of me coming off my rocker and yelling at him. Very professional, Crystal. Way to win them over with your charm.
RV - The most scandalous of the group, I have to babysit the payables and can't process a damn thing without the big boss's say so. Needless to say, this ties up an already slow invoice processing flow. Other than that they are nice.
ST - Awe, another one of my oldies but goodies. A big corps as far as volume but not maintenance. They have questions here and there but never call me names or take up my time and are respectful and understanding when I can't get back with them right away.
SPO - Where to begin? This unit came to me in shambles just in time for a new Major Pain officer, audit, and all sorts of advisory board meetings. The Major thinks his shit doesn't stink nor does he like it when I tell him it does (in the nicest way of course). This is also the Major over CdA so I can't be too mean to him. The volume of this corps is absolutely nuts and everything is fucked up. Nothing ties to anything. The people are nice enough but pushy and needy. Not to mention the crap I get from them is exactly that - crap. Nothing is ever coded correctly, blah blah blah.
TAC - Mother effers. Needy, whiney, complaining, dramatic a-holes. And two faced! They will be nice to me and say I'm doing great one minute and then tar and feather me the next for shit that is completely out of my control or I never even knew was an issue. I'm beginning to realize my predecessor was too swamped to meet the needs of her units and I'm taking the punishment for it.
*sigh* I think once I get through this next month, things will be okay. I just have to suck it up and dredge through. It's going to be one hell of a party on the 21st of October though!! No more school, no more crazy work - I'm going to get bedazzled on Absynthe leave the earth for a while.
My food is done.
Thursday, September 07, 2006
TKD Talks
It's a long drive (relatively speaking) to Lynnwood from Seattle (about 30 - 45 min in traffic) leaving HG and I plenty of time for chit chat. And over several of these almost twice-a-weekly car trips we have engaged in discussions that really tug at the get-to-know-you strings. Our friendship has dramatically changed since we started TKD at the beginning of the summer. Throughout these discussions, Mike, Isis, Kevin, and all sorts of drama has come up. I mentioned a weirdo factoid about my journal in one of our latest discussions and that got me thinking. I decided to resurrect my journals from Sept 99, Sept 00, and Sept 02 and see what I was up to. I can't remember the name of my old school blog, otherwise I'd pull that up for '01 and I didn't keep a journal in '03 or '04. By '05 though I had this blog. Anyway, without further aideu, let's check it out:
Tuesday, September 7th, 1999: So Mike was so cute this morning. I drove all the way to my house to get my chocolate muffin only to find out my dad ate it! Grr. So I got to work, Mike called to see if I would co-sign for his bike. We made plans to have him come down here and see me. So I talked w/ Mel and texted w/ Nick all day. Mike decides at the last minute to bone out and says its okay for me to go w/ Mel. So she came over and we went riding, Mike called and said he was coming down, so I said okay - then he got all mad that I was w/ Mel and decided not to come down. Then Mel got stung by a bee (present day Crystal: okay, now I remember this story - we were right by Littleton Hospital). So we met w/ Nick at Chili's and he paid for me. Mike called to say he was cheating on me. Okay. Then we got the cars, Mike called again. Still kissing ass (Present day Crystal: still?! I thought I said he was cheating on me, wtf?!). Then we all got in the tub and drank. I went home early, to Nick's dismay I'm sure. Mike called and we fought the whole time about how it kills him to only see me for 1 hour. He'd rather not. So he said we should slow down (Present day Crystal: this mother fucker only wanted sex! Why the EFF didn't I see that then?! ARGH!!!) because we are moving too fast. So I was like whatever. Then he got off the phone and has tried calling a million times. Luckily my phone went dead. Then he leaves this msg w/ his dad's info like I'm supposed to be his bitch and call Sun Honda and give the info. Whatever. All he wants is $$ out of me, it's over. I'm just gonna ignore him. (Present day Crystal: why oh why didn't I just follow through with my idea and ignore him?!)
Thursday, September 7th, 2000: **Isis slept for 7 hours!!** I never answered any of Mike's thousand calls. I really don't want anything to do with him. I can put up with his abuse - maybe, I actually think I need therapy. But Isis doesn't have to put up with it. And he turned out to be a horrible father despite what I had hoped for. So my new mission is to erase him from my life. Except it's really hard to get through this initial period. (Present day Crystal: I have wished on more than one occassion that my mom hadn't talked me out of getting a restraining order against Mike. She had the best intentions, I'm sure, but what a mistake to make).
Sunday, September 7th, 2002: So I woke up at 4 and Dane wasn't in bed and I knew some girls came over, so I went down to find him and he was just watching tv so I grabbed my smokes and went outside to find two chicks out there smoking. So we smoked and talked then went inside and watched the rest of the Gladiator then the Veggie Tales silly song countdown. Then I took one of the girls, Shelly, to McDonalds then we came home, ate and I went upstairs to bed. Dane and I ended up [bleap bleap - for the G readers] then going right back to bed. I woke up and cleaned all day while Dane played on the computer. We got into a fight cause he just irritates me and I really hate him sometimes. Ugh! We went to dinner w/ Kris and Jim anyways at Black Angus and had a great time sharing stories and talking about our lives. It was awesome! We went home and I read and then went to sleep, I really like having all this time to do stuff and not be stressed over the house, this arrangement will really work for us I think. (Present day Crystal: well that was very informative. I wonder why I hate Dane so much - UPDATE: I think I was pissed at him for playing on the computer while I cleaned the house. And I think the new arrangement might have had something to do with me asking Dane to reduce some of my rent expenses in exchange for me cleaning the house and his messes)
Interesting batch I suppose. It might be fun to do this once in a while, though it's interesting because my 99 journal batch ends on Oct 20th and my 00 ends on Oct 24th (of all dates). But I have '02 stuff for days. Maybe I will randomly post the past of present day Crystal. :-)
Tuesday, September 7th, 1999: So Mike was so cute this morning. I drove all the way to my house to get my chocolate muffin only to find out my dad ate it! Grr. So I got to work, Mike called to see if I would co-sign for his bike. We made plans to have him come down here and see me. So I talked w/ Mel and texted w/ Nick all day. Mike decides at the last minute to bone out and says its okay for me to go w/ Mel. So she came over and we went riding, Mike called and said he was coming down, so I said okay - then he got all mad that I was w/ Mel and decided not to come down. Then Mel got stung by a bee (present day Crystal: okay, now I remember this story - we were right by Littleton Hospital). So we met w/ Nick at Chili's and he paid for me. Mike called to say he was cheating on me. Okay. Then we got the cars, Mike called again. Still kissing ass (Present day Crystal: still?! I thought I said he was cheating on me, wtf?!). Then we all got in the tub and drank. I went home early, to Nick's dismay I'm sure. Mike called and we fought the whole time about how it kills him to only see me for 1 hour. He'd rather not. So he said we should slow down (Present day Crystal: this mother fucker only wanted sex! Why the EFF didn't I see that then?! ARGH!!!) because we are moving too fast. So I was like whatever. Then he got off the phone and has tried calling a million times. Luckily my phone went dead. Then he leaves this msg w/ his dad's info like I'm supposed to be his bitch and call Sun Honda and give the info. Whatever. All he wants is $$ out of me, it's over. I'm just gonna ignore him. (Present day Crystal: why oh why didn't I just follow through with my idea and ignore him?!)
Thursday, September 7th, 2000: **Isis slept for 7 hours!!** I never answered any of Mike's thousand calls. I really don't want anything to do with him. I can put up with his abuse - maybe, I actually think I need therapy. But Isis doesn't have to put up with it. And he turned out to be a horrible father despite what I had hoped for. So my new mission is to erase him from my life. Except it's really hard to get through this initial period. (Present day Crystal: I have wished on more than one occassion that my mom hadn't talked me out of getting a restraining order against Mike. She had the best intentions, I'm sure, but what a mistake to make).
Sunday, September 7th, 2002: So I woke up at 4 and Dane wasn't in bed and I knew some girls came over, so I went down to find him and he was just watching tv so I grabbed my smokes and went outside to find two chicks out there smoking. So we smoked and talked then went inside and watched the rest of the Gladiator then the Veggie Tales silly song countdown. Then I took one of the girls, Shelly, to McDonalds then we came home, ate and I went upstairs to bed. Dane and I ended up [bleap bleap - for the G readers] then going right back to bed. I woke up and cleaned all day while Dane played on the computer. We got into a fight cause he just irritates me and I really hate him sometimes. Ugh! We went to dinner w/ Kris and Jim anyways at Black Angus and had a great time sharing stories and talking about our lives. It was awesome! We went home and I read and then went to sleep, I really like having all this time to do stuff and not be stressed over the house, this arrangement will really work for us I think. (Present day Crystal: well that was very informative. I wonder why I hate Dane so much - UPDATE: I think I was pissed at him for playing on the computer while I cleaned the house. And I think the new arrangement might have had something to do with me asking Dane to reduce some of my rent expenses in exchange for me cleaning the house and his messes)
Interesting batch I suppose. It might be fun to do this once in a while, though it's interesting because my 99 journal batch ends on Oct 20th and my 00 ends on Oct 24th (of all dates). But I have '02 stuff for days. Maybe I will randomly post the past of present day Crystal. :-)
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Passion: The PC Term for Bitchy
I have guilt. I basically spent the better part of an hour barking at HG. I wasn't ever barking AT her, but I was barking TO her and rather pointedly and how can you not take that personally to some degree. I also feel like I often corner her into awkward positions where she might be pressured to say what I want her to say rather than the truth. Case in point: I want to take on the world at TSA and she's not as sure about it as I am. And justifiably so - she knows the name of the game better than I do and she's also been around when I've been overwhelmed and flustered and crazy. I feel like she feels that she can't tell me what's really on her mind for fear of me blowing up.
Which brings me to my next point. Dane feels like he can't talk to me either. Apparently I'm this big, bad monster that can't be spoken to at all without going off the deep end. And it doesn't matter if I have valid points or not, because I get "passionate" I get discounted. I lose my cool once or twice and all of a sudden I can't be talked to, I can't have responsibility, you can't say _____ when I'm around. GGGGGRRRRRRR!!!
I am human! I make mistakes! I have outstanding qualities! I get emotional! I get cold as ice! I'm all of the above all the time, so it's not fair to rule things out because of one particular state of mind I may be in. And if I do get out of control, laugh at me! Poke me with a stick! Tell me I'm out of line! Do something other than act like I can't be spoken to or reasoned with. One of the best characteristics about me = I'm always trying to please and impress people. If you tell me I'm out of line (in a reasonable way, not "YOU ARE OUT OF CONTROL!!" that will get me psycho) then I will back off and stabilize. Why? Cause I want to make you happy bottom line.
Having said all that, I don't like when I do get overly passionate and I always reconsider my actions later. I wished I hadn't been so loud with HG this afternoon, even though she was totally cool with it and understands it. I really wish I hadn't been so loud with Dane last night (what most of this blog is about and directed to - not you HG, but you already knew about the Dane Momma Drama). All is well that ends well, but definitely a lesson learned for me.
Another lesson learned - watch what I say and how I say it and how I take other people's reactions. I got butt hurt over life today over something stupid and then I dragged an innocent person into my own created drama and got them concerned and they justifiably acted on their concern which turned into a bigger drama that was all started with me. My bad. I get tender about certain issues and tend to be very irrational when I feel threatened or even slightly proded surrounding certain sensitive issues. I need to back the eff off and calm down already.
Work: I want to take on more and 2 of my 3 KC officers want me back on their books and I think I can take it on and keep most of my new/current portfolio. HG had some good suggestions though that I will definitely spend the remainder of Sept focusing on. Thhaaaannkkss HG! My review is actually next week - I wonder how it will go.....
School: OMG - are we there YET?! I have "senioritis" so bad. I just want to be done. 6 weeks. Can you believe it?
Home: I've been at BD, TKD, and working on school so much that I haven't seen Dane and when I did we argued. He's been out of town and will be out of town for most of the month of September. I guess it's a good time considering work and all. Hmm, that makes it seem like we argue a lot. We got in one. But we've been so busy we've had little one on one time. We will this weekend though after our filing party at HG's house.
Congrats: to HG and MR for 4 years of marriage. Maybe 5. Or 3. I forget but I at least know it's their anniversary on the 9th.
Happy: birthday to Peck whose celebrating her big 3-0 on the 11th.
Hugs: to Sarah and MJ and Chance - I need an update on his first week of school!
Drink clink and tink: to Amy whom I haven't talked to in eons BUT who is coming up in about a month!! WHOOOO HOOOOO!! I talked to LR and she's going to make a special point to be working that night. Which two acts should I ask for? She's got a BD number that's AWESOME (Dane's fav), a chair dance that's all Latin like, a pink number that has plenty of flair, a snow queen act that I have yet to see, and my personal favorite Is That All There Is? a spooky, spunky act that is amazing to see.
Diet: not going well. I kinda dropped the ball and gained the weight. I'm back at it full time though now, and I've cut back on the calories dramatically. We'll see how well that goes. I am so heavy right now, I'm the heaviest I've ever been in my life. I'm less than 10lbs from the weight I was at the day I delievered Isis. How bad is that? *sigh* And I can only blame myself and horrible eating habits. Between BD and TKD I should lose weight, right? And eventually I will get back to yoga, I swear it.
That's all for now. More as the week and weekend wear on.
Which brings me to my next point. Dane feels like he can't talk to me either. Apparently I'm this big, bad monster that can't be spoken to at all without going off the deep end. And it doesn't matter if I have valid points or not, because I get "passionate" I get discounted. I lose my cool once or twice and all of a sudden I can't be talked to, I can't have responsibility, you can't say _____ when I'm around. GGGGGRRRRRRR!!!
I am human! I make mistakes! I have outstanding qualities! I get emotional! I get cold as ice! I'm all of the above all the time, so it's not fair to rule things out because of one particular state of mind I may be in. And if I do get out of control, laugh at me! Poke me with a stick! Tell me I'm out of line! Do something other than act like I can't be spoken to or reasoned with. One of the best characteristics about me = I'm always trying to please and impress people. If you tell me I'm out of line (in a reasonable way, not "YOU ARE OUT OF CONTROL!!" that will get me psycho) then I will back off and stabilize. Why? Cause I want to make you happy bottom line.
Having said all that, I don't like when I do get overly passionate and I always reconsider my actions later. I wished I hadn't been so loud with HG this afternoon, even though she was totally cool with it and understands it. I really wish I hadn't been so loud with Dane last night (what most of this blog is about and directed to - not you HG, but you already knew about the Dane Momma Drama). All is well that ends well, but definitely a lesson learned for me.
Another lesson learned - watch what I say and how I say it and how I take other people's reactions. I got butt hurt over life today over something stupid and then I dragged an innocent person into my own created drama and got them concerned and they justifiably acted on their concern which turned into a bigger drama that was all started with me. My bad. I get tender about certain issues and tend to be very irrational when I feel threatened or even slightly proded surrounding certain sensitive issues. I need to back the eff off and calm down already.
Work: I want to take on more and 2 of my 3 KC officers want me back on their books and I think I can take it on and keep most of my new/current portfolio. HG had some good suggestions though that I will definitely spend the remainder of Sept focusing on. Thhaaaannkkss HG! My review is actually next week - I wonder how it will go.....
School: OMG - are we there YET?! I have "senioritis" so bad. I just want to be done. 6 weeks. Can you believe it?
Home: I've been at BD, TKD, and working on school so much that I haven't seen Dane and when I did we argued. He's been out of town and will be out of town for most of the month of September. I guess it's a good time considering work and all. Hmm, that makes it seem like we argue a lot. We got in one. But we've been so busy we've had little one on one time. We will this weekend though after our filing party at HG's house.
Congrats: to HG and MR for 4 years of marriage. Maybe 5. Or 3. I forget but I at least know it's their anniversary on the 9th.
Happy: birthday to Peck whose celebrating her big 3-0 on the 11th.
Hugs: to Sarah and MJ and Chance - I need an update on his first week of school!
Drink clink and tink: to Amy whom I haven't talked to in eons BUT who is coming up in about a month!! WHOOOO HOOOOO!! I talked to LR and she's going to make a special point to be working that night. Which two acts should I ask for? She's got a BD number that's AWESOME (Dane's fav), a chair dance that's all Latin like, a pink number that has plenty of flair, a snow queen act that I have yet to see, and my personal favorite Is That All There Is? a spooky, spunky act that is amazing to see.
Diet: not going well. I kinda dropped the ball and gained the weight. I'm back at it full time though now, and I've cut back on the calories dramatically. We'll see how well that goes. I am so heavy right now, I'm the heaviest I've ever been in my life. I'm less than 10lbs from the weight I was at the day I delievered Isis. How bad is that? *sigh* And I can only blame myself and horrible eating habits. Between BD and TKD I should lose weight, right? And eventually I will get back to yoga, I swear it.
That's all for now. More as the week and weekend wear on.
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