So I got to looking through my blog. Not sure how it started, I was just taking a slight break and then next thing I know, 20 minutes is gone reviewing the last year of my life. I look at my posts from a year ago and I laugh! I miss that Crystal! What have I become?! What have I lost in order to get here? How can I get it back?! I"m not playful anymore. I'm not happy. I don't have spunk. I'm all business and it's boring.
Dane spent the better part of last night with another woman. I don't even pretend to know why. I don't even want to spend time with me, why would he? It's like - I try so hard to lose weight and be beautiful and be career minded and everything he wants me to be, but I find that I feel stiffled. I want to be pretty again. I want to be noticed. I don't know if I like this new, quiet Crystal. I spent the last six months convincing myself that I need to become this calm, quiet, mums-the-word person and now I resent it! WHAT HAPPENED TO ME!!!
What happened to the Crystal that spoke her mind? What happened to the Crystal that didn't get pushed around? What happened to the Crystal that was strong no matter what? The way I am now, you'd think a stiff breeze would blow me over and that's simply NOT my character. I used to talk. I used to smile and coerce others to smile too. I used to fit in.
So I'm going on on this blog about poor me and this and that and then I just had a great talk at work w/ Kimberly. We laughed, exchanged ideas and notes, and bonded. :-)
And then Amy sends me this:
"Dude I never thought about how much it must suck to be an earthworm... They come out of the ground when it is all moist and glistening and enticing... and then the rain stops. And the sun comes out. And the rain dries up. And they get all crispy before they can worm their way back home.
Do you think they have conscious thoughts (like "Oh sh*t!") and feelings of pain while they're frying?"
How can I be upset about my life after that?! D@mn Amy and her ruining my Seattle Angst!
Friday, April 28, 2006
Monday, April 24, 2006
Colorado in May!
What the toot?! It's been almost two weeks since my last post! Many pardons, or "my bad". Anyway - looks like I'll be in Colorado for May to help my folks move. I will be flying in on Wed and leaving on Sunday and I thought 5 days was plenty of time to catch up. WRONG!! As it were, it worked out well for me to take my two week consecutive vaca time and combine CO with my annual Moab trip. So here goes, the crazy a$$ schedule:
Wed, May 17th: Amy picks me up at 6:30 and we go out for dinner and drinks and one on one time. Maybe I can even get to see Kailea. If nothing else, it will be AWESOME to rekindle the old late night dinner and drinks spirit Amy and I once partook in once a week for many years.
Thurs, May 18th: Amy drops me off at mom's and I spend the day with my sister and niece and nephew. Early dinner at 5:00 at House of Kabob (I can't live without eating their hummus) and then off to Dave & Buster's for fun and games with anyone and everyone who can make it out there. Spend the night w/ Rhi, where I'll get some one on one time with her.
Friday, May 19th: Orignally I was going to spend this with Amy, but as it turns out I will be going to lunch w/ the C&C crew, then to the Body Worlds exhibit at the museum of Nature and Science. From there Joe, Sohie and I will probably go to a Rockies game and then out on the town.
Saturday, May 20th: Lunch with Max and Sarah at Le Peep, hopefully - we'll see if I can convince them to go there (I can't wait to see how big Max has gotten). Then Sarah and I will go to Boulder for the day - can't wait! I need some one on one time with her desperately. After that we will go to dinner at Mongolian BBQ then hit some lazy bar around town. I get to stay at Sarah's NEW house and see the place, can't wait!
Sunday, May 21st: Brunch at China Taipei (this is a must - I NEED their combo fried rice). Then off to load my truck with the fabu assistance of Miss Rhi. Sometime on Sunday my parents, my aunt, my dad's friend, and I will set a course for Western Colorado, maybe stay in Glenwood or something.
Monday, May 22nd: Drive.
Tuesday, May 23rd: Drive.
Wednesday, May 24th: Drive and unload in Carmel, CA.
Thursday, May 25th: Catch an early flight out of San Jose to Salt Lake City to rendez-vous w/ Dane, who will have been driving all night from Bellevue to get to SLC. We'll dine w/ his mom and then continue down to Moab, arriving in the late evening. Not wanting to worry about lugging the camping gear, losing time setting up the camping gear, and just generally wanting to relax, we opted for a hotel this year at Moab - thank GAWD!
Friday, May 26th: Four wheeling
Saturday, May 27th: Four wheeling
Sunday, May 28th: Four wheeling
Monday, May 29th: Non-four wheeling related group activity - water rafting, hiking, rock climbing, maybe sky diving - that would be fun...Leave for WA by 3:00 in the afternoon, drive all day and night with a short pit stop in SLC again.
Tuesday, May 30th: Drive, home in time to attend my Fremont Summer Solstice dance class.
Wednesday, May 31st: Sleep in and REST!! Do laundry, homework and basically catch up from the business of the last two weeks.
I'm lucky in that May 21st - 27th I have off of school entirely meaning I do not have to make any discussion posts online OR turn in any homework. I will have to make a daily post on the 17th - 20th though, but that shouldn't be too hard. Especially since I'll have my laptop. Then it's a "quiet week" May 28th - June 3rd, meaning I only have homework due, no discussion posts. How lucky is that?! Whoo!
So here's to wishing me a safe drive and all that jazz!
Wed, May 17th: Amy picks me up at 6:30 and we go out for dinner and drinks and one on one time. Maybe I can even get to see Kailea. If nothing else, it will be AWESOME to rekindle the old late night dinner and drinks spirit Amy and I once partook in once a week for many years.
Thurs, May 18th: Amy drops me off at mom's and I spend the day with my sister and niece and nephew. Early dinner at 5:00 at House of Kabob (I can't live without eating their hummus) and then off to Dave & Buster's for fun and games with anyone and everyone who can make it out there. Spend the night w/ Rhi, where I'll get some one on one time with her.
Friday, May 19th: Orignally I was going to spend this with Amy, but as it turns out I will be going to lunch w/ the C&C crew, then to the Body Worlds exhibit at the museum of Nature and Science. From there Joe, Sohie and I will probably go to a Rockies game and then out on the town.
Saturday, May 20th: Lunch with Max and Sarah at Le Peep, hopefully - we'll see if I can convince them to go there (I can't wait to see how big Max has gotten). Then Sarah and I will go to Boulder for the day - can't wait! I need some one on one time with her desperately. After that we will go to dinner at Mongolian BBQ then hit some lazy bar around town. I get to stay at Sarah's NEW house and see the place, can't wait!
Sunday, May 21st: Brunch at China Taipei (this is a must - I NEED their combo fried rice). Then off to load my truck with the fabu assistance of Miss Rhi. Sometime on Sunday my parents, my aunt, my dad's friend, and I will set a course for Western Colorado, maybe stay in Glenwood or something.
Monday, May 22nd: Drive.
Tuesday, May 23rd: Drive.
Wednesday, May 24th: Drive and unload in Carmel, CA.
Thursday, May 25th: Catch an early flight out of San Jose to Salt Lake City to rendez-vous w/ Dane, who will have been driving all night from Bellevue to get to SLC. We'll dine w/ his mom and then continue down to Moab, arriving in the late evening. Not wanting to worry about lugging the camping gear, losing time setting up the camping gear, and just generally wanting to relax, we opted for a hotel this year at Moab - thank GAWD!
Friday, May 26th: Four wheeling
Saturday, May 27th: Four wheeling
Sunday, May 28th: Four wheeling
Monday, May 29th: Non-four wheeling related group activity - water rafting, hiking, rock climbing, maybe sky diving - that would be fun...Leave for WA by 3:00 in the afternoon, drive all day and night with a short pit stop in SLC again.
Tuesday, May 30th: Drive, home in time to attend my Fremont Summer Solstice dance class.
Wednesday, May 31st: Sleep in and REST!! Do laundry, homework and basically catch up from the business of the last two weeks.
I'm lucky in that May 21st - 27th I have off of school entirely meaning I do not have to make any discussion posts online OR turn in any homework. I will have to make a daily post on the 17th - 20th though, but that shouldn't be too hard. Especially since I'll have my laptop. Then it's a "quiet week" May 28th - June 3rd, meaning I only have homework due, no discussion posts. How lucky is that?! Whoo!
So here's to wishing me a safe drive and all that jazz!
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
The Pain of the Past
Who knew it would cost so much and hurt so bad to remove the mistakes of my past?! O-U-C-H!!!! I went in for my first of 6 - 10 laser tattoo removal sessions. I have begun Phase 1 of my total body renovation. For some reason turning 26 lit a fire under my ass that will not be soon put out. I am no where near where I thought I would be and/or wanted to be at 26, so plans are moving forward at ludicrous speed. All the excuses that I made up before are null. Time is of the essense and it will take a good 2 - 4 years to complete everything that I intend to do by the time 30 slaps me in the face. The following is my personal list of goals made public, for all to hold me accountable for. Voila!
Goals for 30th birthday
Education
Completed Bachelor's degree - in process/to be completed 10/06
Completed Master's degree - possible completion Spring '08, otherwise Spring '09
Enrolled in study program for CPA exam - No later than Summer '08 or '09
Information gathered on law degree or PHD - School/program/timeframe selected by Winter '09
Career
Earning at the very least $55,000/year ($43K inflation, $2K BA, $5K MA) - speaks for itself
Revolving CFA and/or more corps under my belt, or mini-controller - ditto
Community
Continue fostering animals for Humane Society - this is already in place since Dec '05
Become a mentor for children - I have a training session in May to attend
Obtain info on child fostering/adopting - I have a lot of info on this already, but by 30 I will get serious about it
Body
Tattoos removed - in process/to be completed by December '06
Junk hair removed - I'm still iffy on this, but if I go for it, done by Summer '07
Teeth whitened - consultation appointment made/to be completed by Summer '06
Augmentation - I'm still iffy on this too, I will only consider it if goal weight is met and maintained and even then it's iffy. If I do this, it will be done between my bachelors and masters programs, so completed by Summer '07
Stable 130 - 140 lbs - this is ongoing with not much progress *sigh*
Non-dyed, healthy hair - so far so good, I just have to not be tempted to dye it again
Eyebrows touched up - this will happen on a trip to Colorado, probably sometime in Summer '07
Mind
Continued yoga practice - in process/morning routine
Painting - in process/watercolor lessons
Dancing - in process/drama of dance, followed by Summer Solstice training, then PowerBelly
Frivalties
Tanning bed - I want this by Dec '06
Hot tub - purchased 3/25/06. :-)
Massage membership - I still need to look into this
Maid - in place since Jan '06 - love them!!!
Convertible sports car - hmmmm, this one depends on Mr. Man's raise/money, not mine :-)
New motorcycle - to be purchased after Moab, an 06 GSXR 1000 for Mr. Man
Travel - so far only moving my parents and Moab is scheduled for the year outside of small WA state trips. I think we will go somewhere around the holidays, but I don't know where or for how long.
Kauai - maybe we will go here?
Greece - this is for the honeymoon and/or masters graduation
Vancouver - maybe we will do this for my two weeker in August
So I have a few goals and about 3.5 years to do it. I think all the above thoughts and goals are 100% attainable. They are realistic, within reason, and within my control to accomplish. And I've got a good start on a good portion of the list.
In the meantime, I think tequilla shots are necessary for my next laser visit!
Goals for 30th birthday
Education
Completed Bachelor's degree - in process/to be completed 10/06
Completed Master's degree - possible completion Spring '08, otherwise Spring '09
Enrolled in study program for CPA exam - No later than Summer '08 or '09
Information gathered on law degree or PHD - School/program/timeframe selected by Winter '09
Career
Earning at the very least $55,000/year ($43K inflation, $2K BA, $5K MA) - speaks for itself
Revolving CFA and/or more corps under my belt, or mini-controller - ditto
Community
Continue fostering animals for Humane Society - this is already in place since Dec '05
Become a mentor for children - I have a training session in May to attend
Obtain info on child fostering/adopting - I have a lot of info on this already, but by 30 I will get serious about it
Body
Tattoos removed - in process/to be completed by December '06
Junk hair removed - I'm still iffy on this, but if I go for it, done by Summer '07
Teeth whitened - consultation appointment made/to be completed by Summer '06
Augmentation - I'm still iffy on this too, I will only consider it if goal weight is met and maintained and even then it's iffy. If I do this, it will be done between my bachelors and masters programs, so completed by Summer '07
Stable 130 - 140 lbs - this is ongoing with not much progress *sigh*
Non-dyed, healthy hair - so far so good, I just have to not be tempted to dye it again
Eyebrows touched up - this will happen on a trip to Colorado, probably sometime in Summer '07
Mind
Continued yoga practice - in process/morning routine
Painting - in process/watercolor lessons
Dancing - in process/drama of dance, followed by Summer Solstice training, then PowerBelly
Frivalties
Tanning bed - I want this by Dec '06
Hot tub - purchased 3/25/06. :-)
Massage membership - I still need to look into this
Maid - in place since Jan '06 - love them!!!
Convertible sports car - hmmmm, this one depends on Mr. Man's raise/money, not mine :-)
New motorcycle - to be purchased after Moab, an 06 GSXR 1000 for Mr. Man
Travel - so far only moving my parents and Moab is scheduled for the year outside of small WA state trips. I think we will go somewhere around the holidays, but I don't know where or for how long.
Kauai - maybe we will go here?
Greece - this is for the honeymoon and/or masters graduation
Vancouver - maybe we will do this for my two weeker in August
So I have a few goals and about 3.5 years to do it. I think all the above thoughts and goals are 100% attainable. They are realistic, within reason, and within my control to accomplish. And I've got a good start on a good portion of the list.
In the meantime, I think tequilla shots are necessary for my next laser visit!
Monday, April 10, 2006
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