I'm spoiled. Dane and I purchased a hot tub this weekend. First of all, our back patio is P-E-R-F-E-C-T for it, it's nothing but a concrete pad. Second, I pulled my credit (in the excellent range *BEAM*) BUT it was suggested that I establish more credit and hang on to the cards that I have. I can't believe I didn't even think about this, but when I paid off all my credit cards I got when I was 18 (Capital One, Household Bank, Mervyns, Express, etc) and closed the accounts, I actually did some damage. Creditors look for longetivity (I should have known this) and for all intents and purposes I have only had credit since '03 when I opened all my current credit cards. Let me tell you how stoopid I feel. D'oh. Oh well, time will fix that mistake. Anyway, after learning that I need to establish more credit, Dane and I sat down and thought about all the things we want and what we can finance. A hot tub came up and next thing you know we bought one and it's being installed on Thursday. We sat in the SUPER EXTREMELY EXTRAVAGANT OUTRAGEOUS ALL THE BELLS AND WHISTLES AND EVEN CLEANS YOUR HOUSE tub first. It was awesome. Sound system, foot massagers all the way around, rotating and pulsating back massagers, chrome fittings and knobs, mother of pearl futuristic shell, automatic cover lifter, water fountain with back lit lights so the water coming out of the fountain looks colored, this tub was awesome. It was also almost $11,000. Thank gawd our neighbor slash lifeguard was with us otherwise I might have drown after hearing the price tag. Once rescued I suggested a different, perhaps "no frills" tub. The sales guy laughed and said he totally understood. He directed us to a different brand but still a subsidary of the uber tub brand. The tub was just as nice, same materials, same quality, same makers, nothing shiny or fancy - just a completely functional hot tub. This tub was WAY cheaper and definitely in our price range. The sales guy likened it to the difference between the Mercedes S class and C class. The C class still has all the reputation of a Mercedes and a bit of luxury without the luxury price. For those who want a Mercedes w/o paying $60,000, they get a C class. Sure they want to be in an S class, but a C class Mercedes is still a Mercedes. Of course we want the uber tub, but a hot tub of the same make is still a hot tub. And of course let's not mention how ridiculous it would be if we got a nice ass hot tub for a house we don't even own. It'd be like putting nice rims on a Metro. No matter how nice the rims are, it just looks silly.
I celebrated my second weekend of no take home work. I still had a lot of homework and I still brought home some work in case I was tempted but I'm getting pretty tired of working on the weekends. I realize it's my fault I'm behind, but I need a break before I quit and become a barista. Dane and I had friends over on Friday and then I went to the Bellydance Superstars show w/ Laura Rose on Saturday. My first complete girls night out (save PDX w/ Jojo) since I've been here. It was very low key and much needed. We talked about our lives, Colorado, credit, body modification, and bellydance all over happy hour sushi.
We came home early today to meet the electrician (for the hot tub) and our cleaners were still here. I'm sad because it will be their last time here. The woman (Mercedes) is ill and can no longer be around the chemicals used to clean houses (this is the best explanation we could come up with between our lack of a common language). I like Mercedes and Jose a lot and I will miss having their touch to my house. I guess we will get new cleaners, but I will still miss them. I hope she gets well soon. I worry for her and her husband. But they seem to be doing well.
School is going better this week. I dropped a load of cash on some interactive tutorials and study books to help me adjust to this new learning environment. It should help.
I haven't worked out since Wed of last week. I'm so bad. I will go tomorrow for my prescribed hour and ten minutes. I discovered that 1.5 hours was just too much, but just over an hour a couple times a week and just under an hour a few times a week is just right. Of course I packed on the pounds that I lost courtesy of daquiris, pizza, and lobster. I'm so bad. Oh well, I'll just have to work that much harder.
Look at me. I'm totally chastising myself for taking a weekend to relax, purchasing something that I'd like to have and is relaxing, eating good food and not exercising to the point of exhaustion. And here I thought I had calmed down. I haven't calmed down a bit, I've just exiled everything else out of my life (friends, nail care, hair care, etc) so I could become a nazi about work, school, and my body. What happened to my mind and spirit. I even have an art room and tools for relaxation. I have a yoga mat and humidifier for moving meditation. WTF. Back to the drawing board for me I guess. I need to come up with a good plan and stick to it. A reasonable plan. Just cause there are 7 days a week does not mean I have to work out each one. Just because I goof up one day on my diet doesn't mean I should throw in the towel. Just because school is a little tougher, I don't have to spend hours on it every d*mn day. Just because I'm behind at work doesn't mean I can't enjoy my time off from it!
New plan = workout 3 - 5 times a week. Weekend calories can be up to 2000. At least 5 hours a week dedicated to painting, dancing, yoga, whatever. No work on the weekends unless absolutely necessary. No more than 5 hours of homework on the weekends unless absolutely necessary. Let's see how well I stick to this plan.
Monday, March 27, 2006
Monday, March 20, 2006
A Break!
Well, I didn't plan it this way, but I took this weekend off from work. It would have been too much otherwise. I haven't had a weekend off in over two weeks now and I was getting seriously burnt out. I will have to work harder this week, but that's no big deal.
Friday Dane spent the entire day at a local Irish pub. He was tanked by the time I picked him up at 6 wearing his green shirt and painted clover on his forehead. It's not often (if ever) a completely sober Crystal has seen a completely smashed Dane. It was amusing to say the least. We went home, had a few friends over for games. I went to bed early, Dane passed out early, and our friends stayed over till after 2 am playing and having fun. It was just like old times at the Lameria house.
Saturday morning started early for me with my Advanced Accounting class. Taking the classes on flex-net will definitely be an adjustment from on-campus, but I think I will like it. I will like my team too. They only had two members so they were very happy to have me come aboard. After class I went home and completely some chores. Then Dane and Nick came home and we decided to go see V for Vendetta - good movie. On the way home I got slightly irritated w/ the crew I was with and decided to hit the liquor store and then walk home to get fresh air. It was good for me and I'm glad I got the chance to exercise. We ended up playing games and watching TV till 5 am (I can't believe we stayed up that late - time flies when you are having fun)!
Sunday was just warm enough for a motorcycle ride downtown. After that Dane and I napped for a bit (we are getting so old). Then we watched Discovery Channel till about 11 and called it a day.
So not much too exciting, but I definitely needed a break. I feel rejuvenated and ready to kick ass on my closings. Almost done w/ January.
I felt really sad on Saturday. It would have been really nice to have a friend to call up and go share a drink with, but alas - I don't really know anyone on that level here. I almost called Heather but in the end decided to just hang out at home. Growing older is sad. I'm having a lot of revelations about growing up, people were right. I will probably write more about this thought thread when I have collected my ideas, but for now I'm sorta lost in weird dimension. Perhaps its better that I am going through this on my own, I stand to learn a lot about myself in the process.
Friday Dane spent the entire day at a local Irish pub. He was tanked by the time I picked him up at 6 wearing his green shirt and painted clover on his forehead. It's not often (if ever) a completely sober Crystal has seen a completely smashed Dane. It was amusing to say the least. We went home, had a few friends over for games. I went to bed early, Dane passed out early, and our friends stayed over till after 2 am playing and having fun. It was just like old times at the Lameria house.
Saturday morning started early for me with my Advanced Accounting class. Taking the classes on flex-net will definitely be an adjustment from on-campus, but I think I will like it. I will like my team too. They only had two members so they were very happy to have me come aboard. After class I went home and completely some chores. Then Dane and Nick came home and we decided to go see V for Vendetta - good movie. On the way home I got slightly irritated w/ the crew I was with and decided to hit the liquor store and then walk home to get fresh air. It was good for me and I'm glad I got the chance to exercise. We ended up playing games and watching TV till 5 am (I can't believe we stayed up that late - time flies when you are having fun)!
Sunday was just warm enough for a motorcycle ride downtown. After that Dane and I napped for a bit (we are getting so old). Then we watched Discovery Channel till about 11 and called it a day.
So not much too exciting, but I definitely needed a break. I feel rejuvenated and ready to kick ass on my closings. Almost done w/ January.
I felt really sad on Saturday. It would have been really nice to have a friend to call up and go share a drink with, but alas - I don't really know anyone on that level here. I almost called Heather but in the end decided to just hang out at home. Growing older is sad. I'm having a lot of revelations about growing up, people were right. I will probably write more about this thought thread when I have collected my ideas, but for now I'm sorta lost in weird dimension. Perhaps its better that I am going through this on my own, I stand to learn a lot about myself in the process.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Humility
I think the biggest and best lesson I've learned since living here is humility. Even just 6 months ago I thought I knew everything there was to know. You couldn't tell me otherwise. When I first started this job and RB said it will take a good year to learn everything, I laughed to myself and scoffed "those fools - I'll have this stuff down by December!" I was wrong. I am still floundering. But I am also learning. Then I used to think that if I wasn't doing it, it wasn't getting done right OR I was the only one who should carry my burden. I was wrong. Admitting defeat and then asking for help was the hardest thing I've done so far here. And I'm not talking "I don't know how to do this" help, I'm talking "I know exactly how to do this and I have no excuse for why it hasn't been done yet but it needs to be done now" help. It was not easy for me to ask HG to close one of my corps for me, but I'm glad I did. Not only did it teach me a lesson, and lighten the load, the corps ended up needing it sooner than I would have otherwise been able to provide it. Close call saved by asking for help. Maybe I will do that more often.
In other news, the process is slow going, but I am steadily losing weight and firming up. I've lost about 5 lbs in the last month. Nothing crazy, but I can also tell that it's not coming back. I've made a lot of lifestyle changes recently in order to become healthy and lose weight and I have a feeling that if I continue what I'm doing, I will drop the weight in about 6 months or so. Not as fast as I want, but a steady drop is fantastic.
I started my first round of homework last night for accounting. I forgot how much I love accounting. The hussle and bussle of the Army has taken from the general joy I get from doing accounting (for now - it will get better) and doing a few simple problems restored that joy and also my confidence in my abilities. Look out Master's degree - here I come, ready or not!
Dane is busy with his Jeep. Good for him. Moab will be just around the corner - he needs all the prep time he can get his hands on.
I start a new belly dance class with Laura Rose tomorrow - it should be fun to spend more time w/ her. Then in May we will begin preparing for the Fremont Parade. Delilah is planning on taking over the parade and has scheduled a Seattle belly dance retreat called the Billion Belly March. I'm excited to work with LR on this project. I also hope some of my CO friends can make it up to see the parade, it will be a remarkable event.
That's it for now. My Dewey is the sweetest cat in the world. He sleeps next to my pillow each night and lets me put my arms around him and cuddle. And when I'm tired of laying on that side, I turn to the other and cuddle Stinker. I LOVE MY CATS!!!
In other news, the process is slow going, but I am steadily losing weight and firming up. I've lost about 5 lbs in the last month. Nothing crazy, but I can also tell that it's not coming back. I've made a lot of lifestyle changes recently in order to become healthy and lose weight and I have a feeling that if I continue what I'm doing, I will drop the weight in about 6 months or so. Not as fast as I want, but a steady drop is fantastic.
I started my first round of homework last night for accounting. I forgot how much I love accounting. The hussle and bussle of the Army has taken from the general joy I get from doing accounting (for now - it will get better) and doing a few simple problems restored that joy and also my confidence in my abilities. Look out Master's degree - here I come, ready or not!
Dane is busy with his Jeep. Good for him. Moab will be just around the corner - he needs all the prep time he can get his hands on.
I start a new belly dance class with Laura Rose tomorrow - it should be fun to spend more time w/ her. Then in May we will begin preparing for the Fremont Parade. Delilah is planning on taking over the parade and has scheduled a Seattle belly dance retreat called the Billion Belly March. I'm excited to work with LR on this project. I also hope some of my CO friends can make it up to see the parade, it will be a remarkable event.
That's it for now. My Dewey is the sweetest cat in the world. He sleeps next to my pillow each night and lets me put my arms around him and cuddle. And when I'm tired of laying on that side, I turn to the other and cuddle Stinker. I LOVE MY CATS!!!
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
No Way Out
*sigh* I hate and love my job so much I'm completely confused. I'm so stressed but as calm as I've ever been. I'm completely happy and utterly depressed with my life. What the eff, yo? :-)
Seriously though, we had a group CFA meeting this morning and got our asses handed to us. Between the FPP accts, the kettle season, and just the normal delays of the holidays, and then the backdraft of it all, all us CFA's are tardy on our financial reports and our boss got her ass handed to her from her boss, and we all know that sh*t rolls down yahtty yahtty yah...And I'm so behind it hurts. I am working every weekend and some weekday nights in March in order to catch up to "zero". This is so stressful, I can't even begin to explain. And I know all of it is brought on myself cause I have to be some perfectionist superhero or something. Geesh CJE - STOP YOUR STUPID SELF!!! So that's the part I hate. The part I love is how well I get along w/ my boss and the other CFA's. We are such a great team - everyone pulls for the other and there is so much support, it's amazing. And the bottom line - (and this is so great) no matter how upset the bosses get about stuff being tardy, they still love us and appreciate us to the hilt. We are CONSTANTLY encouraged and assured that we are in no "permenant" danger. I love that. In past jobs I've always feared being fired. Not here. Love that!
So I've managed to cut the "fat" from my life to the point that I have more free time than I've ever known what to do with. By cut the fat I mean that I've whiddled my schedule down to work, working out, homework, and freetime only. No more nails, very few tanning sessions, no friends to meet with (in town anyway), no away-from-home yoga or belly dancing (that's all done at the house now). Nothing but time. Of course the majority of it is now allocated to homework and work work, but I need that time right now. The rest of the time is split between much needed relaxation, painting, yoga, reading, and playing with kitties. So while I'm stressed over work and school, that's all I'm stressed about.
As for happiness - I really do love it here. I don't plan on leaving for a while. I laugh because everyone always talks about Seattle and the rain. So there is rain, but not what I psyched myself out for so it's been a pleasant surprise. And then everyone said I would miss the Rocky Mountains. Which I do and they are beautiful but if I look to the West, I can see the Olympic Range. If I look to the East, I can see the Cascades. If I look South, Mr. Mt. Rainer is all up in my business (most days - he's a slacker in the winter). If I look North, Mt. Baker sometimes says hello (she's shy). So I have everything here that I had in CO, but what I have here that I am learning I love so much is WATER!! How did I live 25 years of my life and not be around water? It's so beautiful!! And just the feel of this place - I feel at home here.
As for depression - I'm tired of talking about it or going into it. Let's just say it's old. It's disgusting. It's an absolute mockery of me and of us. It's fake, it's phony. And I hate myself for backing myself into a place that I can't get out of. I'm counting on a few key individuals right now to pull through for me, and once they do - well, we will leave that for the jury. *I realize this last part is about as vague as can be. But I know what it's about. For anyone else, insert any Supreme Court case you would like. Think of it as an amusing mad lib. After all, what more can anyone do but laugh?
Seriously though, we had a group CFA meeting this morning and got our asses handed to us. Between the FPP accts, the kettle season, and just the normal delays of the holidays, and then the backdraft of it all, all us CFA's are tardy on our financial reports and our boss got her ass handed to her from her boss, and we all know that sh*t rolls down yahtty yahtty yah...And I'm so behind it hurts. I am working every weekend and some weekday nights in March in order to catch up to "zero". This is so stressful, I can't even begin to explain. And I know all of it is brought on myself cause I have to be some perfectionist superhero or something. Geesh CJE - STOP YOUR STUPID SELF!!! So that's the part I hate. The part I love is how well I get along w/ my boss and the other CFA's. We are such a great team - everyone pulls for the other and there is so much support, it's amazing. And the bottom line - (and this is so great) no matter how upset the bosses get about stuff being tardy, they still love us and appreciate us to the hilt. We are CONSTANTLY encouraged and assured that we are in no "permenant" danger. I love that. In past jobs I've always feared being fired. Not here. Love that!
So I've managed to cut the "fat" from my life to the point that I have more free time than I've ever known what to do with. By cut the fat I mean that I've whiddled my schedule down to work, working out, homework, and freetime only. No more nails, very few tanning sessions, no friends to meet with (in town anyway), no away-from-home yoga or belly dancing (that's all done at the house now). Nothing but time. Of course the majority of it is now allocated to homework and work work, but I need that time right now. The rest of the time is split between much needed relaxation, painting, yoga, reading, and playing with kitties. So while I'm stressed over work and school, that's all I'm stressed about.
As for happiness - I really do love it here. I don't plan on leaving for a while. I laugh because everyone always talks about Seattle and the rain. So there is rain, but not what I psyched myself out for so it's been a pleasant surprise. And then everyone said I would miss the Rocky Mountains. Which I do and they are beautiful but if I look to the West, I can see the Olympic Range. If I look to the East, I can see the Cascades. If I look South, Mr. Mt. Rainer is all up in my business (most days - he's a slacker in the winter). If I look North, Mt. Baker sometimes says hello (she's shy). So I have everything here that I had in CO, but what I have here that I am learning I love so much is WATER!! How did I live 25 years of my life and not be around water? It's so beautiful!! And just the feel of this place - I feel at home here.
As for depression - I'm tired of talking about it or going into it. Let's just say it's old. It's disgusting. It's an absolute mockery of me and of us. It's fake, it's phony. And I hate myself for backing myself into a place that I can't get out of. I'm counting on a few key individuals right now to pull through for me, and once they do - well, we will leave that for the jury. *I realize this last part is about as vague as can be. But I know what it's about. For anyone else, insert any Supreme Court case you would like. Think of it as an amusing mad lib. After all, what more can anyone do but laugh?
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Seattle Times
Well not much to report. So I'm just going to go off on a tangent and let my fingers type whatever they want.
Dane got a Jeep on Sunday. It's not a looker but it will be able to out trail our Montero. We saw pics of it doing trails that we could only hear stories about in the past years. Dane has some work to do before we can get it to Moab, mostly odds and ends stuff. The Montero will be parted out and/or sold for a small price. It's saddening, but also very exciting for the new Jeep. Dane is scared to drive it. It's a monster. He's so happy. He spent Monday night in the garage tightening bolts (that's about all he knows how to do at this point) and dreaming up all the different things he can do to it. Good for him, I'm so glad he is happy.
We are also talking about getting him a new motorcycle too. He is deciding between a Hayabosa, a new GSXR1000, or a ZX-10. I will inherit his old GSXR1000 - yeah me!! He's looking up parts for the old gixxer so he can give it to me in nice, clean shape. Awe, how sweet. I can't complain about that!
We have our whole summer layed out as far as game/movie nights (to coincide w/ my school Saturdays), motorcycle trips, and bike Sundays. August has been deemed "get to know your surrounding volcanoes" month. Dane and I will trek to each volcano on the bikes - Baker, Rainer, St. Helens, and Hood. Should be good times.
We have another foster kitty named Precious - who tugs at my heartstrings. Dane and I have to force feed her at nights and it breaks our hearts! She's so sniffly and wheezy - but she's such a trooper, she purrs through it all and then she gets her treat of us brushing her to her heart's content. Poor little dear. :-(
That's about all for now. School is going okay at best. Work is going well, but busy. March is stay at home month. Dane and I dubbed it that so we could focus on special household projects, rest after 4 months of non-stop action, save money for Moab, test out a theory I have on alcohol and dieting, and so I can catch up on work. It's March and I still haven't closed all my corps for December or January - BAD CRYSTAL!!
Dane got a Jeep on Sunday. It's not a looker but it will be able to out trail our Montero. We saw pics of it doing trails that we could only hear stories about in the past years. Dane has some work to do before we can get it to Moab, mostly odds and ends stuff. The Montero will be parted out and/or sold for a small price. It's saddening, but also very exciting for the new Jeep. Dane is scared to drive it. It's a monster. He's so happy. He spent Monday night in the garage tightening bolts (that's about all he knows how to do at this point) and dreaming up all the different things he can do to it. Good for him, I'm so glad he is happy.
We are also talking about getting him a new motorcycle too. He is deciding between a Hayabosa, a new GSXR1000, or a ZX-10. I will inherit his old GSXR1000 - yeah me!! He's looking up parts for the old gixxer so he can give it to me in nice, clean shape. Awe, how sweet. I can't complain about that!
We have our whole summer layed out as far as game/movie nights (to coincide w/ my school Saturdays), motorcycle trips, and bike Sundays. August has been deemed "get to know your surrounding volcanoes" month. Dane and I will trek to each volcano on the bikes - Baker, Rainer, St. Helens, and Hood. Should be good times.
We have another foster kitty named Precious - who tugs at my heartstrings. Dane and I have to force feed her at nights and it breaks our hearts! She's so sniffly and wheezy - but she's such a trooper, she purrs through it all and then she gets her treat of us brushing her to her heart's content. Poor little dear. :-(
That's about all for now. School is going okay at best. Work is going well, but busy. March is stay at home month. Dane and I dubbed it that so we could focus on special household projects, rest after 4 months of non-stop action, save money for Moab, test out a theory I have on alcohol and dieting, and so I can catch up on work. It's March and I still haven't closed all my corps for December or January - BAD CRYSTAL!!
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