Money, Money, Money

So between the debts that I have incurred over the past year and the year that it will take me to recover, I've decided that I will always be in some form of debt. Life would not be interesting if it wasn't around. So I am okay with debt.

Of course I still need to clear it up and help Dane with his. We have to get a house someday! So recently I have been thinking a lot about life and marriage and growing up and all this "adult stuff", as of today here they are:

Marriage: There are times when I look down at my bare left fingers and think - "I won't wait forever, I will not be one of *those* couples that stays boyfriend and girlfriend forever." Then I talk to the most amazing women I know from my mom, to Marcia, to Paula, to Sarah, to Becky, to Peck, to Rhi - all these women who are married, divorced, eternally single, youthful, smitten, bitter, sometimes all these things at once! *laughs* I talk to them and then I get all nervous and sweat. I don't want to go through the pain and expense of a divorce. But I don't want to discount the feelings I have for Dane. I don't want to get married or not get married because of the logistics of it. I love Dane. I would marry him in a heartbeat. I guess that's what the marriage union is all about, formally expressing to EVERYONE the love you share with another individual. It's not a piece of paper that makes your insurance go down, it's not meant to increase your taxes. It's not something to do for convenience. A marriage is a proposal to each other and the universe that you love ____ and you will live your entire life, through thick and thin, with _____. I am ready to make that commitment to one person and one only. I have thought about it with others, but it didn't feel like this. I can see myself with Dane YEARS from now. I can see us on the Nile, on Mt. Everest, in the Louvre. I can see it all with him. And I want it all with him, only him. But I'm still skeered.

I will write more about growing up later. This blog is good.