La la la la la. I don't know any other words to that song.
So the trip to see the folks was wonderful. Dad said he wouldn't even know he had a heart attack if not for the hospital bills. And of course the other things like medications and diet changes. But still, he's doing great and it was great to see them.
We had a great, relaxing weekend full of good homecooked meals. I hadn't realized how much I missed my parents till this weekend. So many things I miss like going to their house and just gazing in the pantry and fridge. I miss the sound the pot makes when steam escapes it and the release valve bounces off the pan lid (that sound always comforted me because it meant food was on the way). I miss wearing my dad's robe. I miss using my mom's hair products. I miss being wrapped up in their bed. I miss looking at the pictures of my life and my family's life.
I liked talking to my parents and just plain hanging out with them. We went to my mom's work on Friday at Dole Berry and I got a tour of the place. Pretty cool how they take care of the fruit. Then we went to lunch and got to see the sea otters and sea lions - fat crazy loud animals that they are. We went to the store and got some supplies for our meals. The grocery store by their house is so cheap that we got what we needed for 5 meals for 4 adults for just over $100! Can you believe that!
Saturday Mom and I went to get some pedicures, which was a lot of fun. I really enjoyed that time with her to sit and chat. Mom is going to help make my parade costume. She took my ideas and gave them girth and brought them to life with a little of her own creativity. It's so nice to have her help with that. Then we made a late lunch, early dinner then watched the Indiana Jones movies. Sunday we slept in then went to see the new Indiana Jones movie, good flick, then went home and hung out talking and what not. We had a lot of good chats.
Monday we slept in again, packed, then went to the airport and we were back home before we knew it. It was a nice quick trip that I think we can and should do more often. At least till they come live up in Seattle. :-P
School is coming along, in my last week of my second to last on campus class. Then its 5 classes of accounting online then graduation! YAY! Dane and I are talking about our options for graduation travel and gifts, which might be a couple of new cars. We're not sure.
Other than that work and the parade are going well. It's tough being a manager sometimes. You have to make decisions you don't want to. *sigh* We'll see how that plays out.
I'm on a crash diet for the next 4 weeks. Dr. E is going to kick my ass when he sees how fat I am. If I can lose a solid 10 lbs then I'll be in better shape. Not just physically but for when I see him for my surgery. Sarah will be here soon and that will be fun. I can't wait to see her. The final details are being worked out. It's gonna be a blast.
I'm off to bed. Dane is in PDX again and I still have some homework to do.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Last Year vs. This Year
So I looked at my post from this time last year and how much stuff I was doing and all that jazz and I have to say that I'm shocked I survived it and have lived up to my promise of not packing my schedule so tightly.
In fact this year all that I have going on right now it school, work, and parade. I'm working in a trip to see the folks this weekend and a surgery revision next month, which will put a slight damper on my summer hence plans, but nothing that I can't handle. I'm on track with school and work and even though I have projects on the horizon, I have them scheduled out with enough time to accomplish them all.
In other news I went kayaking this weekend for the first time ever and loved it! It was a little nerve racking at first, but we (Angela and I) stuck it out and had a great time with Alexia and Cieran (Key-err-ann). I can definitely see more of it in my future.
I also stayed home on Saturday night by myself. I had the option to go out but decided to stay home and loved it. It was nice to have some weekend solitude as Dane was mountain biking with friends in Portland. I'm glad he was able to get out and be active.
Our financial plans are in order and on budget despite setbacks. Of course my overage check from UOP helped that but still. Dane's debt and our Egypt debt (the wedding has long since been paid off) are almost cleared up. Like in a matter of months we will have a lot of cash on our hands that we haven't had in a long time if ever. We are working on plans for this money as it will be a lot and we don't want to get used to living with that kind of excess cash, rather save it away for whatever we want to do in the next few years, be that buy a house, a car, travel or a combo of the three. I'm scared of buying a house but could be coerced.
Other than that things are plugging away just fine. I'm looking forward to the parade and Sarah's visit. It will be a lot of fun.
Now if I could just drop about 20 lbs I'd be set. :-)
In fact this year all that I have going on right now it school, work, and parade. I'm working in a trip to see the folks this weekend and a surgery revision next month, which will put a slight damper on my summer hence plans, but nothing that I can't handle. I'm on track with school and work and even though I have projects on the horizon, I have them scheduled out with enough time to accomplish them all.
In other news I went kayaking this weekend for the first time ever and loved it! It was a little nerve racking at first, but we (Angela and I) stuck it out and had a great time with Alexia and Cieran (Key-err-ann). I can definitely see more of it in my future.
I also stayed home on Saturday night by myself. I had the option to go out but decided to stay home and loved it. It was nice to have some weekend solitude as Dane was mountain biking with friends in Portland. I'm glad he was able to get out and be active.
Our financial plans are in order and on budget despite setbacks. Of course my overage check from UOP helped that but still. Dane's debt and our Egypt debt (the wedding has long since been paid off) are almost cleared up. Like in a matter of months we will have a lot of cash on our hands that we haven't had in a long time if ever. We are working on plans for this money as it will be a lot and we don't want to get used to living with that kind of excess cash, rather save it away for whatever we want to do in the next few years, be that buy a house, a car, travel or a combo of the three. I'm scared of buying a house but could be coerced.
Other than that things are plugging away just fine. I'm looking forward to the parade and Sarah's visit. It will be a lot of fun.
Now if I could just drop about 20 lbs I'd be set. :-)
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Oops
Well, I've done it again. I haven't posted in a while. My bad. Let's recap:
Work - going well, I'm neck deep in budgets after a short closing month (finance committee meets tomorrow) and I feel that I am doing very well for the budget process. I'm sure I haven't thought of everything but I feel like I'm ahead of the game, thanks to help from my staff. I present the budgets to the managers tomorrow and have even prepared a PPT presentation that I hope will go over well. I'm really taking charge of the budget process this year (and I might even ask Jim to "own" it more than he does) which I feel will help alieviate the issues we ran into this current year. Up next: prepare for audit which will absolutely require the next 5 months. It wont be cleanup like last year, instead preparation and getting inline with all the new standards for 08.
School - going well too. I made a post that got some classmates in a funk but all seems well now. I really feel sometimes like people need too much guidance and just can't function without clear, step by step guidelines. Sometimes its okay to just go with an idea, but I get that that's not for everyone. One more class and I'll be done with the general portion of the MBA then on to the core accounting portion. I should be done with classes by March of next year, set to walk in Phoenix in July.
Travel - speaking of - there are plans in the works for next July's vacation. I am talking with RBMBA about Central or South America but these plans aren't concrete and I have some other ideas that I'm rattling around in my head, such as buying a new car from Volvo, Mercedes, or Audi and doing a Europe trip to pick up the car. Not sure, depends on money and several other factors. In the meantime, we are going to California next week to see my folks and I'm really looking forward to that. We've talked about going to the Midwest to see my grandparents but I'm not sure that we can afford that. Same for my ideas to go to Colorado in August and somewhere in October. I honestly think that we just can't afford to go anywhere till next year and I'd rather save our money for another big trip anyway.
Surgery - is still a go for next month. A slight revision and some touch up work. All paid for, so we are good with that but I'm nervous about the healing process and I feel I've gained some weight that I just can't shed.
Fitness - I am still going to spinning on Mon and now that the parade is almost here I'm going to class for that 3 nights a week. Otherwise, I'm not really going to the gym. I am taking the bus almost everyday and that in itself adds about a mile of walking each day. I'm trying to stay active on the weekends and now that the weather is starting to get nicer that should be easier.
Parade - is going to awesome this year! First and foremost, Sarah will be in town (see more below) but also I really like the theme. It's pink for peace and I'm totally on-board with the costuming and meaning behind the parade. Meaning being taking back the woman's carnal power of beauty and attraction (real beauty not the media's idea of beauty) and turning that into the power of persuasion which leads to negotiation which leads to peace and love and everything that is wonderful and woman! I'm in the advanced string this year w/ HG and while it is a big committment, it's well worth it. And with Dane gone in PDX all the time it gives me something to do and stay out of trouble.
Dane - is doing well. Traveling a lot and dealing with his staff but overall he's enjoying life. He's going on an all-dudes mountain biking trek this weekend outside of PDX that I think will be great for him. He's finally conceded to giving up and selling the banshee and montero. About time.
Sarah - is coming to town in a month. I'm happy to be hosting her and can't wait for her to see our place and hang out. What's more is Max will be with her and I'm excited to see how he's grown! What's on the docket? Burlesque, spa trip, Pike Place, parade, party, rest, then she goes to the North while I go on my surgery leave, then she's back home as quick as she came, but it will be a good visit.
Cats - are doing good. Willy almost has his meow. Stinker and Boo are still fat and Dewey is cute as ever. He has some troubling blood on him (this just happened tonight) but I think we can manage it and he'll be fine.
Long-term - plans include some more legislative and lobbying work for me. I have some grand ideas in store for how I can help Treehouse with their strategies for the next 3 - 5 years as well as how I can help the foster child system in the US. Probably all just pipe dreams right now, but I feel like I'm on the course to something really big and life changing. Stay tuned!
So that's about it for now. I'll try to be better at posting as things happen, but life seems full tilt all the time yet not much worth "writing home about." I'm sure that will change and I'll have fun stuff to blog about soon enough.
Work - going well, I'm neck deep in budgets after a short closing month (finance committee meets tomorrow) and I feel that I am doing very well for the budget process. I'm sure I haven't thought of everything but I feel like I'm ahead of the game, thanks to help from my staff. I present the budgets to the managers tomorrow and have even prepared a PPT presentation that I hope will go over well. I'm really taking charge of the budget process this year (and I might even ask Jim to "own" it more than he does) which I feel will help alieviate the issues we ran into this current year. Up next: prepare for audit which will absolutely require the next 5 months. It wont be cleanup like last year, instead preparation and getting inline with all the new standards for 08.
School - going well too. I made a post that got some classmates in a funk but all seems well now. I really feel sometimes like people need too much guidance and just can't function without clear, step by step guidelines. Sometimes its okay to just go with an idea, but I get that that's not for everyone. One more class and I'll be done with the general portion of the MBA then on to the core accounting portion. I should be done with classes by March of next year, set to walk in Phoenix in July.
Travel - speaking of - there are plans in the works for next July's vacation. I am talking with RBMBA about Central or South America but these plans aren't concrete and I have some other ideas that I'm rattling around in my head, such as buying a new car from Volvo, Mercedes, or Audi and doing a Europe trip to pick up the car. Not sure, depends on money and several other factors. In the meantime, we are going to California next week to see my folks and I'm really looking forward to that. We've talked about going to the Midwest to see my grandparents but I'm not sure that we can afford that. Same for my ideas to go to Colorado in August and somewhere in October. I honestly think that we just can't afford to go anywhere till next year and I'd rather save our money for another big trip anyway.
Surgery - is still a go for next month. A slight revision and some touch up work. All paid for, so we are good with that but I'm nervous about the healing process and I feel I've gained some weight that I just can't shed.
Fitness - I am still going to spinning on Mon and now that the parade is almost here I'm going to class for that 3 nights a week. Otherwise, I'm not really going to the gym. I am taking the bus almost everyday and that in itself adds about a mile of walking each day. I'm trying to stay active on the weekends and now that the weather is starting to get nicer that should be easier.
Parade - is going to awesome this year! First and foremost, Sarah will be in town (see more below) but also I really like the theme. It's pink for peace and I'm totally on-board with the costuming and meaning behind the parade. Meaning being taking back the woman's carnal power of beauty and attraction (real beauty not the media's idea of beauty) and turning that into the power of persuasion which leads to negotiation which leads to peace and love and everything that is wonderful and woman! I'm in the advanced string this year w/ HG and while it is a big committment, it's well worth it. And with Dane gone in PDX all the time it gives me something to do and stay out of trouble.
Dane - is doing well. Traveling a lot and dealing with his staff but overall he's enjoying life. He's going on an all-dudes mountain biking trek this weekend outside of PDX that I think will be great for him. He's finally conceded to giving up and selling the banshee and montero. About time.
Sarah - is coming to town in a month. I'm happy to be hosting her and can't wait for her to see our place and hang out. What's more is Max will be with her and I'm excited to see how he's grown! What's on the docket? Burlesque, spa trip, Pike Place, parade, party, rest, then she goes to the North while I go on my surgery leave, then she's back home as quick as she came, but it will be a good visit.
Cats - are doing good. Willy almost has his meow. Stinker and Boo are still fat and Dewey is cute as ever. He has some troubling blood on him (this just happened tonight) but I think we can manage it and he'll be fine.
Long-term - plans include some more legislative and lobbying work for me. I have some grand ideas in store for how I can help Treehouse with their strategies for the next 3 - 5 years as well as how I can help the foster child system in the US. Probably all just pipe dreams right now, but I feel like I'm on the course to something really big and life changing. Stay tuned!
So that's about it for now. I'll try to be better at posting as things happen, but life seems full tilt all the time yet not much worth "writing home about." I'm sure that will change and I'll have fun stuff to blog about soon enough.
Monday, April 28, 2008
I'm Back
Well I've been back [from Egypt] for almost a week now and I can honestly say that I haven't entirely recovered. My body is still weary, I dont' have all my energy back, nor my appetite (unless it's first thing in the morning), my innards are still queezy, and I'm still waking earlier than I might normally (and going to bed WAY early) but I think that within the next few days I will be right as rain.
We are going to the gym tonight in an effort to get back on track of normal life and try to get some energy. There is so much to do around the house. I have to finish laundry, clean up the storage room, the garage, the office area, my art room, and bedroom. I have to balance my books, return some items purchased for Egypt that weren't used, homework, the list goes on. Not to mention I have to work the next two Saturdays.
The parade classes start next week. I'm looking forward to that. It will be nice to participate in it without all the craziness that was going on last year.
The busy season is about to start at work. I have to get the budget process rolling, then prepare for fiscal year end/audit, then go through with the audit. Seems like I just got out of busy season.
I only have two more oncampus classes for UOP then 5 online classes. So just over halfway done. Another year and I'll be studying for the CPA exam, right on schedule! After that I will take a long ass break. Who knows what I'll do - nothing, law, nothing, more accounting, nothing, bartending, nothing. I'm not sure. I'll let time decide, I'm weary of making decisions.
So while I'm happy to be home, I'm already considering my next big and small travel plans. We had thought about going to San Juan over Memorial Day, Colorado over Labor Day, Houston in October but it was also suggested to go to Hawaii and I would looooove to do that. I also want to see my folks and my grandparents. Not sure what I can do about all that. I know that it will be a year before we go on another big excursion. RBMBA wants to do Jamaica - that would be fun. Then there's France. Or Antartica. The list goes on. Seems like there's not enough time to do what we want. Oh, and I'll graduate from UOP, so there's a trip to Phoenix. Yikes.
Anyway - all is well and continues to be well and I'm hopeful that that wont change. :-)
We are going to the gym tonight in an effort to get back on track of normal life and try to get some energy. There is so much to do around the house. I have to finish laundry, clean up the storage room, the garage, the office area, my art room, and bedroom. I have to balance my books, return some items purchased for Egypt that weren't used, homework, the list goes on. Not to mention I have to work the next two Saturdays.
The parade classes start next week. I'm looking forward to that. It will be nice to participate in it without all the craziness that was going on last year.
The busy season is about to start at work. I have to get the budget process rolling, then prepare for fiscal year end/audit, then go through with the audit. Seems like I just got out of busy season.
I only have two more oncampus classes for UOP then 5 online classes. So just over halfway done. Another year and I'll be studying for the CPA exam, right on schedule! After that I will take a long ass break. Who knows what I'll do - nothing, law, nothing, more accounting, nothing, bartending, nothing. I'm not sure. I'll let time decide, I'm weary of making decisions.
So while I'm happy to be home, I'm already considering my next big and small travel plans. We had thought about going to San Juan over Memorial Day, Colorado over Labor Day, Houston in October but it was also suggested to go to Hawaii and I would looooove to do that. I also want to see my folks and my grandparents. Not sure what I can do about all that. I know that it will be a year before we go on another big excursion. RBMBA wants to do Jamaica - that would be fun. Then there's France. Or Antartica. The list goes on. Seems like there's not enough time to do what we want. Oh, and I'll graduate from UOP, so there's a trip to Phoenix. Yikes.
Anyway - all is well and continues to be well and I'm hopeful that that wont change. :-)
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
Monday, March 24, 2008
Egypt Tour
Hello folks - those of you interested in our trip to Egypt should turn your sights to my Egypt blog which will have all the information anyone would need to know where we are, how to reach us, and what we'll be doing.
We will also update this blog during our trip as internet cafes become available. Also, our house/cat-keeper, Nick, will be updating the Egypt blog as he speaks to us when we call in for check ups. We figured it would be easier to have all the information in one spot and have one point person rather than email everyone or make dozens of calls or wake people up at 3 in the morning.
So here you go - http://huishegypt.blogspot.com/
We will also update this blog during our trip as internet cafes become available. Also, our house/cat-keeper, Nick, will be updating the Egypt blog as he speaks to us when we call in for check ups. We figured it would be easier to have all the information in one spot and have one point person rather than email everyone or make dozens of calls or wake people up at 3 in the morning.
So here you go - http://huishegypt.blogspot.com/
Monday, March 03, 2008
Nothing but DNA...
After a fun evening with Dane (to celebrate our "marriage date night") at McCormick and Schmicks courtesy of a coupon my dad got in December after Alaska Airlines delayed his flight, it became apparent to me that I should blog on my divorce with my sister.
First and foremost, I did not come to this decision lightly and I take it very seriously. I am not happy that it has come to this but I have decided that I cannot endure anymore hardship because of it.
Basically for the past couple years, I really can't put my finger on when though, my relationship with my sister has been strained. I have tried and tried and tried to be her friend, be a good sister, and do the things that family is supposed to do. I'll admit, I'm not the best. I forget birthdays, I never send out cards, and the best gift you can hope to get from me is a gift card. Anyway, I've tried to reach out to her and connect and I'm always met with this surface sister. Stacy plays her cards very close to her chest and there are only a select few that she allows in to her circle. Sadly, her family has never been on that list.
This could be for a lot of reasons, I imagine and I must disclose at this point it is all my opinion and speculation based on events, emotions, and facts as interpreted by me. I could be very far off base but the truth is I will never know because Stacy is so shut off and whatever answer(s) I would get from her couldn't really be trusted for the same reasons.
Here it is: the foundation for our demise is probably best layed out as we are two different people in every way. Personality, family, friends, lifestyles, goals, interests, and values. Put simply, the only thing that binds us is our DNA, our parents. We are 10 years (almost to the day) apart in age, she being older, and for that reason she has always been placed as an authority figure in my life. I really feel like that stunted our growth as sisters and the bond I see so many siblings have. That aside, we differ as follows:
Personality - I am very outgoing, what you see is what you get. You will always know exactly what I'm thinking and how I feel. Stacy is passive aggressive, shy, pensive, and bottled up.
Family - Dane and I will always be a family of two plus our beloved cats. Stacy has two kids and feels a sense of entitlement because of her kids and family, as if people owe her, or her kids, a special piece of themselves simply because they are her kids.
Lifestyles - I am very career driven and motivated to excel. I live life in the fast lane, relatively speaking. I love to have a great time but also know my limits and responsibilities. Stacy lives for her family - every waking breath is for her husband and kids and everything else is a byproduct.
Goals - I want to travel the world, lead a successful professional life, and be a life-long learner. Stacy simply wants the best for her kids by any means necessary (I should note that our differing characters aren't right or wrong - just that - different).
Interests - I like motorcycles, traveling, partying, learning, dancing, and so on. Stacy's interests lie with her kids. I really have no idea what she likes as an adult.
Again, I'm not saying that I'm right and she's wrong, I'm just laying the foundation for why we are different and don't really connect. So now that I've layed that out there, I'll try to cite examples or explain why I think that I don't fit in to her life and will never be her friend/sister.
She feels that people should make an effort to see her and her kids, not the other way around. She should not be put out to make the relationship work, nay, if you don't make all the effort then you are a bad person for not being involved in her/her kid's lives. While I understand that having children definitely complicates things, it shouldn't be your default excuse as to why you can or can't do something or why people always have to come to you and work around your schedule.
I am hurt that Stacy and her family did not even try to make an effort to come to my wedding or even really acknowledge or show interest in it. That really showed me where I rank in her life, especially considering she's traveled to Mexico before (twice) with her friends AND even has her own travel agency where she could have received a discount for her/her family's travel.
But even then I didn't shut the door on our relationship. I wanted to but decided against it. Instead I made a point to visit with her one last time, this time assessing her actions and what I was to her. She barely acknowledged me, would not let me talk about my wedding much less ask about it, never asked one question about me or my life or how I am in Washington, everything was about her and her kids.
So when I try to have a relationship with her kids outside of her, I am met with a flood of excuses, including (and I quote) "Ashley can't come see you in WA! What if terrorists fly the plane into the Space Needle?" Admittedly she was trying to be funny but she was also making a point and the point is "you cannot have contact with my children without me being present."
This leads me to my final conclusion about our relationship. One that is entirely separate of the other. I firmly believe that she blames and judges me for Isis's death. Whatever she believes, I'm not certain, but her tone is loud and clear "you are an unfit mother that cannot be around kids." Now that I think about it, I have never been able to have one on one time with my niece and nephew and doubt that I ever would. Then I am made out to be a monster for not "being a part of their lives." She won't let me!! I am closer to my god-daughter Kailea and Peck and Sarah's kids than I am to my own flesh and blood!
Also, I can't stand how Stacy talks about our parents. Whatever she thinks of mom doesn't matter, she's still our mom and I love her, especially all her quirks! And Stacy is so quick to put her hand out and say "gimme gimme gimme [for my kids]" to our parents, as if our parents OWE her that, yet she doesn't love them unconditionally or even enough to justify the gifts she and her family gets (not that children have to love their parent's in order to receive gifts, but more that she feels its a one-way street). And then she wonders why mom had more of a bond with Isis, nevermind that mom was practically her sole caretaker.
Whatever - it gets me boiled and I felt it necessary to document my thoughts on the matter so that I can come back and reflect and adjust as necessary.
To end this blog on a lighter note, Dane and I have been saving our money for Egypt and in doing that we have started sharing entrees when we go out to eat. Not only does this cut the costs, but it also cuts the portion size. We have found that by splitting our meals we leave with full bellies but not grossly full, we have bonded in a cute way that is only possible when a meal is truly shared, and we will be able to afford our excursions without compromising Egypt.
It's tough because it's hard to say no when friends ask to do something or a movie comes out that we really want to see or we feel like we need a night out. I keep telling myself it's only a month. I think as school and work picks up I won't think about it as much.
Till next time!
First and foremost, I did not come to this decision lightly and I take it very seriously. I am not happy that it has come to this but I have decided that I cannot endure anymore hardship because of it.
Basically for the past couple years, I really can't put my finger on when though, my relationship with my sister has been strained. I have tried and tried and tried to be her friend, be a good sister, and do the things that family is supposed to do. I'll admit, I'm not the best. I forget birthdays, I never send out cards, and the best gift you can hope to get from me is a gift card. Anyway, I've tried to reach out to her and connect and I'm always met with this surface sister. Stacy plays her cards very close to her chest and there are only a select few that she allows in to her circle. Sadly, her family has never been on that list.
This could be for a lot of reasons, I imagine and I must disclose at this point it is all my opinion and speculation based on events, emotions, and facts as interpreted by me. I could be very far off base but the truth is I will never know because Stacy is so shut off and whatever answer(s) I would get from her couldn't really be trusted for the same reasons.
Here it is: the foundation for our demise is probably best layed out as we are two different people in every way. Personality, family, friends, lifestyles, goals, interests, and values. Put simply, the only thing that binds us is our DNA, our parents. We are 10 years (almost to the day) apart in age, she being older, and for that reason she has always been placed as an authority figure in my life. I really feel like that stunted our growth as sisters and the bond I see so many siblings have. That aside, we differ as follows:
Personality - I am very outgoing, what you see is what you get. You will always know exactly what I'm thinking and how I feel. Stacy is passive aggressive, shy, pensive, and bottled up.
Family - Dane and I will always be a family of two plus our beloved cats. Stacy has two kids and feels a sense of entitlement because of her kids and family, as if people owe her, or her kids, a special piece of themselves simply because they are her kids.
Lifestyles - I am very career driven and motivated to excel. I live life in the fast lane, relatively speaking. I love to have a great time but also know my limits and responsibilities. Stacy lives for her family - every waking breath is for her husband and kids and everything else is a byproduct.
Goals - I want to travel the world, lead a successful professional life, and be a life-long learner. Stacy simply wants the best for her kids by any means necessary (I should note that our differing characters aren't right or wrong - just that - different).
Interests - I like motorcycles, traveling, partying, learning, dancing, and so on. Stacy's interests lie with her kids. I really have no idea what she likes as an adult.
Again, I'm not saying that I'm right and she's wrong, I'm just laying the foundation for why we are different and don't really connect. So now that I've layed that out there, I'll try to cite examples or explain why I think that I don't fit in to her life and will never be her friend/sister.
She feels that people should make an effort to see her and her kids, not the other way around. She should not be put out to make the relationship work, nay, if you don't make all the effort then you are a bad person for not being involved in her/her kid's lives. While I understand that having children definitely complicates things, it shouldn't be your default excuse as to why you can or can't do something or why people always have to come to you and work around your schedule.
I am hurt that Stacy and her family did not even try to make an effort to come to my wedding or even really acknowledge or show interest in it. That really showed me where I rank in her life, especially considering she's traveled to Mexico before (twice) with her friends AND even has her own travel agency where she could have received a discount for her/her family's travel.
But even then I didn't shut the door on our relationship. I wanted to but decided against it. Instead I made a point to visit with her one last time, this time assessing her actions and what I was to her. She barely acknowledged me, would not let me talk about my wedding much less ask about it, never asked one question about me or my life or how I am in Washington, everything was about her and her kids.
So when I try to have a relationship with her kids outside of her, I am met with a flood of excuses, including (and I quote) "Ashley can't come see you in WA! What if terrorists fly the plane into the Space Needle?" Admittedly she was trying to be funny but she was also making a point and the point is "you cannot have contact with my children without me being present."
This leads me to my final conclusion about our relationship. One that is entirely separate of the other. I firmly believe that she blames and judges me for Isis's death. Whatever she believes, I'm not certain, but her tone is loud and clear "you are an unfit mother that cannot be around kids." Now that I think about it, I have never been able to have one on one time with my niece and nephew and doubt that I ever would. Then I am made out to be a monster for not "being a part of their lives." She won't let me!! I am closer to my god-daughter Kailea and Peck and Sarah's kids than I am to my own flesh and blood!
Also, I can't stand how Stacy talks about our parents. Whatever she thinks of mom doesn't matter, she's still our mom and I love her, especially all her quirks! And Stacy is so quick to put her hand out and say "gimme gimme gimme [for my kids]" to our parents, as if our parents OWE her that, yet she doesn't love them unconditionally or even enough to justify the gifts she and her family gets (not that children have to love their parent's in order to receive gifts, but more that she feels its a one-way street). And then she wonders why mom had more of a bond with Isis, nevermind that mom was practically her sole caretaker.
Whatever - it gets me boiled and I felt it necessary to document my thoughts on the matter so that I can come back and reflect and adjust as necessary.
To end this blog on a lighter note, Dane and I have been saving our money for Egypt and in doing that we have started sharing entrees when we go out to eat. Not only does this cut the costs, but it also cuts the portion size. We have found that by splitting our meals we leave with full bellies but not grossly full, we have bonded in a cute way that is only possible when a meal is truly shared, and we will be able to afford our excursions without compromising Egypt.
It's tough because it's hard to say no when friends ask to do something or a movie comes out that we really want to see or we feel like we need a night out. I keep telling myself it's only a month. I think as school and work picks up I won't think about it as much.
Till next time!
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Without a Child
I woke up this morning thinking that Isis was alive. I've had a few mornings like this in the past 6 years since her death and they are never, ever easy. It usually takes me about 2 hours just to get to the point where I can function and carry on with my day. Then I spend all day in a melancoly haze crying at the drop of a hat and wondering if I'm really alive in this reality.
Last night's dream was borderline nightmare. I dreamt that Dane and I lived together in a house that belonged to Kevin. The actual house was a carbon copy of the house I lived in w/ my parents that had a pool. Kevin's family was trying to hurry us out of the house and a week before we were set to leave we got a tip that Kevin had buried Isis underneath the pool. We dug up the pool and broke through the tile to find that yes, a coffin was there. In fact two coffins were there. Isis's and another man. At that point Dane told me to leave because Isis's coffin had not been shut and I didn't want to see what was there. I left to find a sticky that had the number to "the court" on it so I could tell them what we found. While I searched for the sticky, I looked outside and saw Isis in her coffin, but she was alive! She was still 15 months old, even though in my dream it had been two years since her death. My dream did not afford me explainations as to why or how she had survived in a coffin for two years with no food, water or oxygen let alone why she hadn't aged. Probably because I will always picture her as she was when she died.
So Isis was alive and we immediately began the logistics of her arrival back in to my life. I was upset that I had given away all her clothes and belongings since I should have known she would come back for me. I did have her teddy bear though (and I do in real life). Her father, though not in my dream as her real life father, was still very evil - almost Draconian. He could poof in and out of rooms and carried a trident like staff. He even said "I was glad when she died two years ago because I couldn't afford the child support but my life is different now so I'm excited that she is alive and I can play with her." *poof*
The dream, especially the excavation part, is sticking with me quite vividly and as I said, I awoke expecting her to be with me. It took me about 10 minutes to sort out what was real and what wasn't and I quickly grabbed a tablet and pen and started writting down aspects of my dream so I wouldn't forget them because everything seemed so symbolic. I called Dane and told him (he's in Portland) and he felt bad he wasn't here to support me and felt even worse that he feels he is partly to blame. I'll explain.
This past week with Damion being in the hospital and the reality of that situation and the realization of what could have been combined with a hap-hazard question to Dane about what his opinion was on Isis's death (he met with the police about 8 months after it happened to review the autopsy notes and findings - I couldn't do it) are probably the roots of this dream and the funk I've been in for days. Dane believes that while Kevin did not intend to kill Isis, he feels he acted out of anger and perhaps a little bit of drunkeness. The mere thought of someone being angry enough at Isis to shake her to death whilst banging her head on furniture is enough to send me to convulsions and I've never accepted that. It seems that I am started the slow process of accepting the reality of how she died and how it impacts me, both then and now. I should note that my parents (and even me to some lingering degree) believe that Isis was previously injured while out with her birth father (she did have bruising on her head to support this theory) and that the blow she suffered through Kevin's hands, which was not in anger or drunken rage, sent Isis into the state that she eventually died in. We've all heard of second blows, specifically football players and such that receive head trama and then get one final blow, usually insignificant compared to others, that puts them out, if not of life at least the game of ball. Whether Isis died at Kevin's hands or due to an injury related somehow to her father does not lessen the extent of her injuries or the brutality that she endured. I can't bear that thought and have actively pushed that thought out of my mind for 6 years now. But we all know that we can't run forever.
I fear that I'm starting (albeit belated) another stage of grief that is perhaps the hardest, if the stages can even be quantified that way. To add insult to injury, I attended a work function today that took place at the Seattle Children's Museum - chalk full of kids around Isis's would-be age and the age she was when she died. As if that wasn't enough, the people hosting the meeting, obviously museum employees, spent about 15 minutes explaining the museum's mission and one of the (smart) safety rules they have is that no adult can enter without a child. That statement made sense the first time. But it was repeated, I counted, seven more times. And with each mention it was harder and harder to bite back the tears. You are not allowed without a child. Don't any of you have children? You can't come in without a child. Without a child. Without a child.
And that is what I am at the end of the day. Without a child.
Last night's dream was borderline nightmare. I dreamt that Dane and I lived together in a house that belonged to Kevin. The actual house was a carbon copy of the house I lived in w/ my parents that had a pool. Kevin's family was trying to hurry us out of the house and a week before we were set to leave we got a tip that Kevin had buried Isis underneath the pool. We dug up the pool and broke through the tile to find that yes, a coffin was there. In fact two coffins were there. Isis's and another man. At that point Dane told me to leave because Isis's coffin had not been shut and I didn't want to see what was there. I left to find a sticky that had the number to "the court" on it so I could tell them what we found. While I searched for the sticky, I looked outside and saw Isis in her coffin, but she was alive! She was still 15 months old, even though in my dream it had been two years since her death. My dream did not afford me explainations as to why or how she had survived in a coffin for two years with no food, water or oxygen let alone why she hadn't aged. Probably because I will always picture her as she was when she died.
So Isis was alive and we immediately began the logistics of her arrival back in to my life. I was upset that I had given away all her clothes and belongings since I should have known she would come back for me. I did have her teddy bear though (and I do in real life). Her father, though not in my dream as her real life father, was still very evil - almost Draconian. He could poof in and out of rooms and carried a trident like staff. He even said "I was glad when she died two years ago because I couldn't afford the child support but my life is different now so I'm excited that she is alive and I can play with her." *poof*
The dream, especially the excavation part, is sticking with me quite vividly and as I said, I awoke expecting her to be with me. It took me about 10 minutes to sort out what was real and what wasn't and I quickly grabbed a tablet and pen and started writting down aspects of my dream so I wouldn't forget them because everything seemed so symbolic. I called Dane and told him (he's in Portland) and he felt bad he wasn't here to support me and felt even worse that he feels he is partly to blame. I'll explain.
This past week with Damion being in the hospital and the reality of that situation and the realization of what could have been combined with a hap-hazard question to Dane about what his opinion was on Isis's death (he met with the police about 8 months after it happened to review the autopsy notes and findings - I couldn't do it) are probably the roots of this dream and the funk I've been in for days. Dane believes that while Kevin did not intend to kill Isis, he feels he acted out of anger and perhaps a little bit of drunkeness. The mere thought of someone being angry enough at Isis to shake her to death whilst banging her head on furniture is enough to send me to convulsions and I've never accepted that. It seems that I am started the slow process of accepting the reality of how she died and how it impacts me, both then and now. I should note that my parents (and even me to some lingering degree) believe that Isis was previously injured while out with her birth father (she did have bruising on her head to support this theory) and that the blow she suffered through Kevin's hands, which was not in anger or drunken rage, sent Isis into the state that she eventually died in. We've all heard of second blows, specifically football players and such that receive head trama and then get one final blow, usually insignificant compared to others, that puts them out, if not of life at least the game of ball. Whether Isis died at Kevin's hands or due to an injury related somehow to her father does not lessen the extent of her injuries or the brutality that she endured. I can't bear that thought and have actively pushed that thought out of my mind for 6 years now. But we all know that we can't run forever.
I fear that I'm starting (albeit belated) another stage of grief that is perhaps the hardest, if the stages can even be quantified that way. To add insult to injury, I attended a work function today that took place at the Seattle Children's Museum - chalk full of kids around Isis's would-be age and the age she was when she died. As if that wasn't enough, the people hosting the meeting, obviously museum employees, spent about 15 minutes explaining the museum's mission and one of the (smart) safety rules they have is that no adult can enter without a child. That statement made sense the first time. But it was repeated, I counted, seven more times. And with each mention it was harder and harder to bite back the tears. You are not allowed without a child. Don't any of you have children? You can't come in without a child. Without a child. Without a child.
And that is what I am at the end of the day. Without a child.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Keep Damion in your Prayers/Thoughts
I found out on Sunday night that Peck's son fell in to their pool and almost drown. He's been in ICU at Texas Children's since recovering from the trauma, lung infection, and various other ailments. Peck is doing as well as can be expected. Jeremy flew in on Tuesday from Dubai and other friends and family members made an effort to come down and be with them in their time of need. Dra is doing okay too but I imagine he will be impacted by this as the dust settles.
Damion is on a ventilator now and hopefully will be taken off soon and able to breathe on his own. At this time he is not exhibiting any signs of brain damage which is a miracle and blessing.
This situation reminds me of how strong people are. Not only is Damion a strong, resilient baby, but Peck is (as always) a pillar of immense strength. She was one of the major driving forces behind the details and business end of Isis's death, having dealth with a death of her own child prior to Isis. For this I am forever indebted to her and the mere thought that she might have had to go down that road again has upset me more than I could ever be prepared for. However, that is not the case (thank GOD) and she has just been so strong and positive. I've also been reminded that no matter how many miles and moons have separated us, we are all networked together and in time of great need people will cross oceans just to support you.
I'm continuing to pray for Damion and Peck's family and am hopeful for a positive outcome.
This event overcomes anything else that is going on in my life at the moment but even as such my life is fairly calm right now. I met all my January deadlines (a lot was riding on that so thank God I pulled through), work continues to go well, the audit is finally (FINALLY) over and it went well, school is going well (I have an A+), homelife is going well (though I wish Dane wouldn't Warcraft so much), the kitties are doing good, the workouts are coming along, finances are finally gelling together. Life in general is good.
I'm gearing up for Egypt in April (I can't believe that's just 6 weeks away!) and hoping that work projects and daily duties continue to sail along. Next class will be tough as I work 2 weeks at a time in order to take 2 weeks off for Egypt, but I've structured my social life to take on the added homework and work work.
I've been talking to people that I knew back in high school and that has been fun. It makes me jones to go back to CO which I'm tentatively planning a trip over Labor Day. Also planning a trip to Houston in Oct. Hopefully Peck and family will still be there.
My intervention meeting w/ Jim went well and the passing weeks have been progressive as well. I'm signed up for a conflict management class that will help.
Keep Damion in your prayers/thoughts. He needs all the strength that can be mustered.
Damion is on a ventilator now and hopefully will be taken off soon and able to breathe on his own. At this time he is not exhibiting any signs of brain damage which is a miracle and blessing.
This situation reminds me of how strong people are. Not only is Damion a strong, resilient baby, but Peck is (as always) a pillar of immense strength. She was one of the major driving forces behind the details and business end of Isis's death, having dealth with a death of her own child prior to Isis. For this I am forever indebted to her and the mere thought that she might have had to go down that road again has upset me more than I could ever be prepared for. However, that is not the case (thank GOD) and she has just been so strong and positive. I've also been reminded that no matter how many miles and moons have separated us, we are all networked together and in time of great need people will cross oceans just to support you.
I'm continuing to pray for Damion and Peck's family and am hopeful for a positive outcome.
This event overcomes anything else that is going on in my life at the moment but even as such my life is fairly calm right now. I met all my January deadlines (a lot was riding on that so thank God I pulled through), work continues to go well, the audit is finally (FINALLY) over and it went well, school is going well (I have an A+), homelife is going well (though I wish Dane wouldn't Warcraft so much), the kitties are doing good, the workouts are coming along, finances are finally gelling together. Life in general is good.
I'm gearing up for Egypt in April (I can't believe that's just 6 weeks away!) and hoping that work projects and daily duties continue to sail along. Next class will be tough as I work 2 weeks at a time in order to take 2 weeks off for Egypt, but I've structured my social life to take on the added homework and work work.
I've been talking to people that I knew back in high school and that has been fun. It makes me jones to go back to CO which I'm tentatively planning a trip over Labor Day. Also planning a trip to Houston in Oct. Hopefully Peck and family will still be there.
My intervention meeting w/ Jim went well and the passing weeks have been progressive as well. I'm signed up for a conflict management class that will help.
Keep Damion in your prayers/thoughts. He needs all the strength that can be mustered.
Thursday, February 07, 2008
28 and Life to go
So I briefly read through my 2005, 2006, and 2007 birthday posts - what an amazing trip it's been! 2005 was a great youthful but in-the-learning stage post, 2006 was a dreadful bout of depression, and 2007 was an exciting burst of newness. 2008 has a lot to live up to.
As I mentioned in my yearly recap, 2007 was such a big year for me. I really hope that 2008 has much less growth and extracurricular activities. So far I have a few things planned, but really nothing outside of travel and school. I am still on the heavier side of things, but I'm in a pattern of working out and eating right. Not vegan, but rather a nice balance which is the best you can hope for.
Even as I write this I can tell that I'm in a sort of mental transformation. The past couple months have been very stressful at work but nothing near what TSA was. However, I find that I'm still coping with stress in a very sub-par way. Just yesterday I exploded at a situation that really didn't call for it. I spent all last night beating myself up for it wondering why it was so hard for me to just "shut the eff up." HG suggested I look in to personality tests and I wrote her off at first but decided to look in to the tests I've taken. They all say the same thing, I'm an expressive, outgoing person who tends to speak/act before I think. I know this, what I don't know is ~how~ to control it. I decided to lay down for a bit to think things through and ended up falling asleep and having weird dreams and premonitions. I came to work today quiet and reflective. What I found were opportunities to make my mistakes right, apologize to the folks it affected, and really redeem myself. I also had the opportunity to introduce a concept that RBMBA discovered a while back. I'm an employee that needs "face time", or as I put it - hand holding and coddling. I don't like that but I finally decided to just accept that and move forward. I told Jim about my high maintenance needs and how I need more positive reinforcement than the average bear. From that moment on things have been infinitely better. We had an extremely progressive day despite the snags and I feel 100% better about our working relationship and my situation. I really do feel supported and like I will succeed at Treehouse.
With that monkey off my back, I've been able to think about other aspects of my life at this stage of 28. Again, I have to thank HG (and her hub) for providing an excellent role model for marriage. Their relationship has really placed the groundwork for a great union w/ my man. Things have been going very well with us and I have to acknowledge my support system. All of my friends have been great, Sarah has always been our cheerleader and often (though I'm sure she'd rather not be) the sounding board for both of our cases when we are in valleys. RBMBA has always been the voice of reason and logic and has helped me weed through things that my issue and things that are Dane's. Peck has always been and always will be on my side and provides a great support for been there/done that. And Amy has always helped me stay true to myself. Often when people get married I see them lose themselves to the other and its great to have a buddy that knew you before and helps you retain that self.
I feel very calm about this stage of my life. Like I have time to get things in order before the big 3-0 but that time isn't something to be taken for granted either. I will enjoy my last years of my twenty's and look forward to my coming years (sponsored by Botox). I have learned so much, it feels like most of it has been in the past couple years. I look back at my early twenty's and smile at the rebel of my youth. So much of me is still here that was back then yet at the same time I feel so different.
I've calmed down a lot. I'm not as motivated to take on the world. I was shocked to realize I"m halfway through my MBA program and still on target for my CPA by 30. Now that I'm almost there, I almost get separation anxiety. Not so much from school or homework but more with the idea that after my CPA, what will I be doing to grow? How will I motivate myself to stay above the daily grind? I'm not sure. As was the case when I was 25, it is now: I'm left with more questions than answers.
Sometimes I wish I knew where this life will take me and other times I'm glad I don't. Who knows how this will all end. I don't feel ready for it to end yet I don't really have any world or even life changing plans on the docket. Who ever does I guess. I don't think Einstein woke up and reviewed his daily log to change the world. It just happened. Not that I am comparing myself to Einstein or think I will have an effect on this world. Just the world I know.
More and more my world is closing in on me and I think that's a good thing. Rather than be one to the world I think I'm focusing more on being the world to one. And I like that.
So I found this post and figured it was worth an update.
Goals for 30th birthday
Education
Completed Bachelor's degree - achieved
Completed Master's degree - in process, completion Summer '09
Enrolled in study program for CPA exam - Summer '09
Information gathered on law degree or PHD - maybe a law degree, no PhD
Career
Earning at the very least $55,000/year ($43K inflation, $2K BA, $5K MA) - achieved
Revolving CFA and/or more corps under my belt, or mini-controller - achieved - Accounting Manager
Community
Continue fostering animals for Humane Society - in hiatus while Willie transitions
Become a mentor for children - Summer '08
Obtain info on child fostering/adopting - now that I work for an org that caters to foster kids, this info is at my fingertips at any time
Body
Tattoos removed - almost done
Junk hair removed - almost done
Teeth whitened - achieved and ongoing
Augmentation - achieved
Stable 130 - 140 lbs - working on :-(
Non-dyed, healthy hair - healthy, highlighted hair
Eyebrows touched up - achieved and ongoing
Mind
Continued yoga practice - need to do
Painting - in spurts, but coming along
Dancing - once a year parade routine, good enough
Frivalties
Tanning bed - I have a salon I go to, probably will continue to do this rather than buy one
Hot tub - achieved
Massage membership - achieved
Maid - achieved
Convertible sports car - very possible in next 2 years
New motorcycle - probably not unless we move to a warmer climate and that's okay
Travel - OMG - I've done nothing but travel! Colorado, California, Oregon, Florida, Amsterdam, Mexico, and now Egypt and Texas - the list goes on!
Kauai - we still need to do this
Greece - well the honeymoon was Mexico, but maybe for an anniversary or Masters graduation
Vancouver - still need to do this, we take for granted that we live so close
I'm amazed at how much I've accomplished just by 28. I guess I need to revise this, eh?
As I mentioned in my yearly recap, 2007 was such a big year for me. I really hope that 2008 has much less growth and extracurricular activities. So far I have a few things planned, but really nothing outside of travel and school. I am still on the heavier side of things, but I'm in a pattern of working out and eating right. Not vegan, but rather a nice balance which is the best you can hope for.
Even as I write this I can tell that I'm in a sort of mental transformation. The past couple months have been very stressful at work but nothing near what TSA was. However, I find that I'm still coping with stress in a very sub-par way. Just yesterday I exploded at a situation that really didn't call for it. I spent all last night beating myself up for it wondering why it was so hard for me to just "shut the eff up." HG suggested I look in to personality tests and I wrote her off at first but decided to look in to the tests I've taken. They all say the same thing, I'm an expressive, outgoing person who tends to speak/act before I think. I know this, what I don't know is ~how~ to control it. I decided to lay down for a bit to think things through and ended up falling asleep and having weird dreams and premonitions. I came to work today quiet and reflective. What I found were opportunities to make my mistakes right, apologize to the folks it affected, and really redeem myself. I also had the opportunity to introduce a concept that RBMBA discovered a while back. I'm an employee that needs "face time", or as I put it - hand holding and coddling. I don't like that but I finally decided to just accept that and move forward. I told Jim about my high maintenance needs and how I need more positive reinforcement than the average bear. From that moment on things have been infinitely better. We had an extremely progressive day despite the snags and I feel 100% better about our working relationship and my situation. I really do feel supported and like I will succeed at Treehouse.
With that monkey off my back, I've been able to think about other aspects of my life at this stage of 28. Again, I have to thank HG (and her hub) for providing an excellent role model for marriage. Their relationship has really placed the groundwork for a great union w/ my man. Things have been going very well with us and I have to acknowledge my support system. All of my friends have been great, Sarah has always been our cheerleader and often (though I'm sure she'd rather not be) the sounding board for both of our cases when we are in valleys. RBMBA has always been the voice of reason and logic and has helped me weed through things that my issue and things that are Dane's. Peck has always been and always will be on my side and provides a great support for been there/done that. And Amy has always helped me stay true to myself. Often when people get married I see them lose themselves to the other and its great to have a buddy that knew you before and helps you retain that self.
I feel very calm about this stage of my life. Like I have time to get things in order before the big 3-0 but that time isn't something to be taken for granted either. I will enjoy my last years of my twenty's and look forward to my coming years (sponsored by Botox). I have learned so much, it feels like most of it has been in the past couple years. I look back at my early twenty's and smile at the rebel of my youth. So much of me is still here that was back then yet at the same time I feel so different.
I've calmed down a lot. I'm not as motivated to take on the world. I was shocked to realize I"m halfway through my MBA program and still on target for my CPA by 30. Now that I'm almost there, I almost get separation anxiety. Not so much from school or homework but more with the idea that after my CPA, what will I be doing to grow? How will I motivate myself to stay above the daily grind? I'm not sure. As was the case when I was 25, it is now: I'm left with more questions than answers.
Sometimes I wish I knew where this life will take me and other times I'm glad I don't. Who knows how this will all end. I don't feel ready for it to end yet I don't really have any world or even life changing plans on the docket. Who ever does I guess. I don't think Einstein woke up and reviewed his daily log to change the world. It just happened. Not that I am comparing myself to Einstein or think I will have an effect on this world. Just the world I know.
More and more my world is closing in on me and I think that's a good thing. Rather than be one to the world I think I'm focusing more on being the world to one. And I like that.
So I found this post and figured it was worth an update.
Goals for 30th birthday
Education
Completed Bachelor's degree - achieved
Completed Master's degree - in process, completion Summer '09
Enrolled in study program for CPA exam - Summer '09
Information gathered on law degree or PHD - maybe a law degree, no PhD
Career
Earning at the very least $55,000/year ($43K inflation, $2K BA, $5K MA) - achieved
Revolving CFA and/or more corps under my belt, or mini-controller - achieved - Accounting Manager
Community
Continue fostering animals for Humane Society - in hiatus while Willie transitions
Become a mentor for children - Summer '08
Obtain info on child fostering/adopting - now that I work for an org that caters to foster kids, this info is at my fingertips at any time
Body
Tattoos removed - almost done
Junk hair removed - almost done
Teeth whitened - achieved and ongoing
Augmentation - achieved
Stable 130 - 140 lbs - working on :-(
Non-dyed, healthy hair - healthy, highlighted hair
Eyebrows touched up - achieved and ongoing
Mind
Continued yoga practice - need to do
Painting - in spurts, but coming along
Dancing - once a year parade routine, good enough
Frivalties
Tanning bed - I have a salon I go to, probably will continue to do this rather than buy one
Hot tub - achieved
Massage membership - achieved
Maid - achieved
Convertible sports car - very possible in next 2 years
New motorcycle - probably not unless we move to a warmer climate and that's okay
Travel - OMG - I've done nothing but travel! Colorado, California, Oregon, Florida, Amsterdam, Mexico, and now Egypt and Texas - the list goes on!
Kauai - we still need to do this
Greece - well the honeymoon was Mexico, but maybe for an anniversary or Masters graduation
Vancouver - still need to do this, we take for granted that we live so close
I'm amazed at how much I've accomplished just by 28. I guess I need to revise this, eh?
Friday, February 01, 2008
You Babysit Me
I haven't been as good as I promised myself I would be at keeping my blog updated. Having said that, there has been some office drama that I got the chance to nip in the bud today.
I formally went to our office manager to complain about my boss and his micro-managing tactics. At first I thought I was just being sensitive about it but after talking with a handful of others, both in the admin dept and outside, I realized that if something doesn't happen and quick a mutiny may be afoot. I mentioned this (in short) to ED and I guess she talked to Ann, the office manager, and next thing you know the intervention is today.
Without going in to the gory details I will say that it went well. Never one to mince words, I started out the session with "You babysit me and that's gotta stop." It went from there and we got some stuff out on the table but ended it with [what I feel is] a good action plan and timeline for progress. We set up "safe" times for asking questions and getting in touch with my area and I have hopes that things will improve. If not, then I may have to look at my other options after I get back from Egypt.
In other news my trip to Tampa went well. Very low key and uneventful (save the usual airport drama - I got wasted on the trip out there and almost didn't get to eat dinner at the place I wanted to in Terminal F). We went to the Pirate Festival, which rocked, went to the beach, and just had plenty of quiet time. Amy's house is so fun! It's perfect for just her. She mentioned that she and Bryan will likely have to move in to a bigger place when they do move in together but for now its a fun little cottage with a loft, spiral staircase, and one-car garage.
I missed Dane more than I thought I would or was expecting. Its weird because it took some time after we got married but I feel like I'm falling in love with him all over again. We had a rough patch but I think was more due to all the extracurricular activities I had going on. Not to mention work woes on both ends. Now that most of the dust has settled, we are getting in to the swing of married life and I have to say that I dig it. I like calling him my husband. I like the security we have. I like our system. He's my greatest ally and best friend and I love him so much. For so long I harbored bitterness and resentment, who even knows why, but that is melting away and I can start being me again and being cute.
The kitties are doing well. I love them. I need to start posting to the cats blog again. And maybe even the BG blog.
We are keeping on track with the gym, we love our movie nights. I've slacked on the diet a little bit (okay a LOT) but I like being able to go out and enjoy my life.
School is going well. I broke my steady decline streak and got an A in my last class. Would have been an A+ if I hadn't missed the 3 points from being gone in W6 at Tampa. I have this teacher again so I'm happy. I haven't done my homework yet (supposed to be doing it now actually) but I'll get it done soon.
Dane is taking me to dinner tomorrow to celebrate my 28th b-day. Wow - another year, I'll post more on that later though. Then there's the super bowl. All in all a busy but fun weekend planned.
I'm ready for bed, so I'm off.
I formally went to our office manager to complain about my boss and his micro-managing tactics. At first I thought I was just being sensitive about it but after talking with a handful of others, both in the admin dept and outside, I realized that if something doesn't happen and quick a mutiny may be afoot. I mentioned this (in short) to ED and I guess she talked to Ann, the office manager, and next thing you know the intervention is today.
Without going in to the gory details I will say that it went well. Never one to mince words, I started out the session with "You babysit me and that's gotta stop." It went from there and we got some stuff out on the table but ended it with [what I feel is] a good action plan and timeline for progress. We set up "safe" times for asking questions and getting in touch with my area and I have hopes that things will improve. If not, then I may have to look at my other options after I get back from Egypt.
In other news my trip to Tampa went well. Very low key and uneventful (save the usual airport drama - I got wasted on the trip out there and almost didn't get to eat dinner at the place I wanted to in Terminal F). We went to the Pirate Festival, which rocked, went to the beach, and just had plenty of quiet time. Amy's house is so fun! It's perfect for just her. She mentioned that she and Bryan will likely have to move in to a bigger place when they do move in together but for now its a fun little cottage with a loft, spiral staircase, and one-car garage.
I missed Dane more than I thought I would or was expecting. Its weird because it took some time after we got married but I feel like I'm falling in love with him all over again. We had a rough patch but I think was more due to all the extracurricular activities I had going on. Not to mention work woes on both ends. Now that most of the dust has settled, we are getting in to the swing of married life and I have to say that I dig it. I like calling him my husband. I like the security we have. I like our system. He's my greatest ally and best friend and I love him so much. For so long I harbored bitterness and resentment, who even knows why, but that is melting away and I can start being me again and being cute.
The kitties are doing well. I love them. I need to start posting to the cats blog again. And maybe even the BG blog.
We are keeping on track with the gym, we love our movie nights. I've slacked on the diet a little bit (okay a LOT) but I like being able to go out and enjoy my life.
School is going well. I broke my steady decline streak and got an A in my last class. Would have been an A+ if I hadn't missed the 3 points from being gone in W6 at Tampa. I have this teacher again so I'm happy. I haven't done my homework yet (supposed to be doing it now actually) but I'll get it done soon.
Dane is taking me to dinner tomorrow to celebrate my 28th b-day. Wow - another year, I'll post more on that later though. Then there's the super bowl. All in all a busy but fun weekend planned.
I'm ready for bed, so I'm off.
Friday, January 18, 2008
2007 Reflections (a little late)
Top 5 2007 Moments
1. My wedding in Cabo.
2. AMSTERDAM!!
3. My new job and very successful solo audit process!
4. Starting my MBA.
5. My surgery transformation
Bottom 5 2007 Moments
1. Gaining weight.
2. Watching the crap some of my loved ones struggled with.
3. Starting my MBA.
4. Realizing I will never have a close relationship with my sister.
5. Stress from filling my plate with too much stuff.
(Wow - if that's the worse I can come up with, then it was a pretty bang up year)
Resolutions for 2008
1. Manage my weight, healthy eating.
2. Manage my time between work, the Man, and my MBA with balance.
3. Maintain a journal.
4. Continue to improve my listening and patience skills.
What I'm looking forward to in 2008:
1. Egypt!
2. Other travel plans including seeing Amy, possibly my grandparents, and friends in CO.
3. Our first anniversary.
4. Improving on my position at work.
5. Continuing my MBA program, I'll be closer to graduating this year!
2007 Reflections
Well talk about a year of transformation! From my body to my mind to my career, marriage, and everything in between! I guess when I consider it all in one breath for a recap, 2007 was a very big year for me. I probably did more growing up and moving on to the next chapter of my life than even I can realize right now. One thing I can say for sure is that this year was definitely the most positive one I've had in a long time. Not much, if any, regrets. It was difficult for me to find 5 lows. I feel like I'm not articulating myself well so I'll try to parce it out.
First I turned 27 but that was really overshadowed by two major events. #1 my surgery and #2 my job change. Both happened within the same week. Actually all three things, surgery, job, and birthday happened within a week of each other. Now that all is said and done I'm very pleased with the surgery and I would do it again. It was worth the pain and price tag. And even though I've gained some weight back, I'm working harder than ever to get and keep it off now and I've gained a new lease on life. It feels good to look nice in clothes and have a very feminine body even if I am chubbier than most.
Next my job. I jumped several positions and pay grades with this new job and at times felt like I had put myself in a position to fail but I didn't. Whether it was due to the fantastic advice of knowledgeable friends or figuring stuff out in my own time I was able to make it work and prove to myself more than anyone that I could do it. I continue to move forward and learn everyday and handle myself better, more maturely. Who would have ever thought based on last years post.
Then, of course, I got married. That in and of itself was a huge step in the right direction but I'll pause for a moment to talk about Dane's growth. He's made tremendous strides at work and really taken things up to the next level. He's a manager of his department now and while we thought he'd leave Denali, he ended up staying and making more money and honing in on more responsibility. I couldn't be prouder or happier for him. Back to getting married. After what I thought was inevitable break up in 2006 it was great to get seal the deal and take my relationship w/ Dane to the next level. I can't quite explain it but something has changed and I feel a sort of power almost in the security and love that we share. My husband. I love saying that. More than I thought I would. And of course it felt great to coordinate the surprise renewal and ring for my mom. I really feel like I've given back to them part of what I took when I was growing up and being a hellion. It all contributes to the whole theme of my maturity and really coming of age in 2007, as cheesy as that sounds.
The opportunity to travel abroad with one of my best friends ever was also a remarkable experience. It was truly eye opening to see another country (that's not Mexico or Canada) and see how Americans are treated (good, of course) and how we are perceived. I'm even more excited to visit Egypt this year but Amsterdam was definitely one of the "high" points of my life.
All this good isn't without a con though. My trip back to Colorado was great. I loved seeing my friends and visiting Isis's grave but my interactions with my sister left me feeling like our relationship will never be what I want it to be and at the very best we can be polite to each other. It's a sad day when discover the only thing that binds you is DNA. I'm sad, but don't really feel a loss. Except when I consider the kids. But I never really got to see them much anyway and any attempt I made at a relationship with them was thwarted with silly rationales like "terrorists might attack when the kids are with you." I somehow think that Stacy thinks I am to blame for Isis's death and maybe I am (not a day goes by that I don't blame myself) but it's troubling when your own family thinks it. And I could be WAY off base but the truth is I'll never really know. Stacy is not the most honest person and has a "face" that she puts on for the world while she keeps her true cards very close to the vest. Perhaps someday things will change, but she holds grudges like no other and I think that after this Cmas of no gifts for the kids she'll never forgive me. Probably for the better anyway. I can't take anymore heartache from trying to be her pal and being shunned.
As for my MBA, I can tell that even that has played a positive role in my life, despite all the hardwork it is. I see that I reflect more on everything, especially business related and I definitely have better troubleshooting and analysis skills. I'm excited to move forward but very much longing for the day when online discussion questions and gap analysis does not rule my life.
Overall 2007 was an amazing year. It will be tough one to top as far as growth and I'm not sure I'd be up for it again so soon. This year I finally learned what my limits were and when too much was enough. If anything this year will be a laid back year for growth and activity (save traveling). I'm solid in my position at work and school. I've gotten in to a healthy routine with eating and the gym. I've slowed down my social life to a pace that I've never experienced and I'm very happy with everything. Where once I double and even triple booked my free time I find that I guard my time off and sometimes even (unfortunately) hurt feelings when I decline to book my dance card. Mostly I've learned what works for me and I've learned that what works will constantly change as I grow and develop.
I'm excited for 2008. Though not much is on the docket yet, it feels like the year is already booked out through July. And actually, it is. Due to financial concerns, Dane and I are running very lean with money and events till Egypt then afterwards I have a small surgery revision then by the time that's done it will be audit season before I know it. I feel like I could already write my 2008 recap but I'll save that for this time next year.
1. My wedding in Cabo.
2. AMSTERDAM!!
3. My new job and very successful solo audit process!
4. Starting my MBA.
5. My surgery transformation
Bottom 5 2007 Moments
1. Gaining weight.
2. Watching the crap some of my loved ones struggled with.
3. Starting my MBA.
4. Realizing I will never have a close relationship with my sister.
5. Stress from filling my plate with too much stuff.
(Wow - if that's the worse I can come up with, then it was a pretty bang up year)
Resolutions for 2008
1. Manage my weight, healthy eating.
2. Manage my time between work, the Man, and my MBA with balance.
3. Maintain a journal.
4. Continue to improve my listening and patience skills.
What I'm looking forward to in 2008:
1. Egypt!
2. Other travel plans including seeing Amy, possibly my grandparents, and friends in CO.
3. Our first anniversary.
4. Improving on my position at work.
5. Continuing my MBA program, I'll be closer to graduating this year!
2007 Reflections
Well talk about a year of transformation! From my body to my mind to my career, marriage, and everything in between! I guess when I consider it all in one breath for a recap, 2007 was a very big year for me. I probably did more growing up and moving on to the next chapter of my life than even I can realize right now. One thing I can say for sure is that this year was definitely the most positive one I've had in a long time. Not much, if any, regrets. It was difficult for me to find 5 lows. I feel like I'm not articulating myself well so I'll try to parce it out.
First I turned 27 but that was really overshadowed by two major events. #1 my surgery and #2 my job change. Both happened within the same week. Actually all three things, surgery, job, and birthday happened within a week of each other. Now that all is said and done I'm very pleased with the surgery and I would do it again. It was worth the pain and price tag. And even though I've gained some weight back, I'm working harder than ever to get and keep it off now and I've gained a new lease on life. It feels good to look nice in clothes and have a very feminine body even if I am chubbier than most.
Next my job. I jumped several positions and pay grades with this new job and at times felt like I had put myself in a position to fail but I didn't. Whether it was due to the fantastic advice of knowledgeable friends or figuring stuff out in my own time I was able to make it work and prove to myself more than anyone that I could do it. I continue to move forward and learn everyday and handle myself better, more maturely. Who would have ever thought based on last years post.
Then, of course, I got married. That in and of itself was a huge step in the right direction but I'll pause for a moment to talk about Dane's growth. He's made tremendous strides at work and really taken things up to the next level. He's a manager of his department now and while we thought he'd leave Denali, he ended up staying and making more money and honing in on more responsibility. I couldn't be prouder or happier for him. Back to getting married. After what I thought was inevitable break up in 2006 it was great to get seal the deal and take my relationship w/ Dane to the next level. I can't quite explain it but something has changed and I feel a sort of power almost in the security and love that we share. My husband. I love saying that. More than I thought I would. And of course it felt great to coordinate the surprise renewal and ring for my mom. I really feel like I've given back to them part of what I took when I was growing up and being a hellion. It all contributes to the whole theme of my maturity and really coming of age in 2007, as cheesy as that sounds.
The opportunity to travel abroad with one of my best friends ever was also a remarkable experience. It was truly eye opening to see another country (that's not Mexico or Canada) and see how Americans are treated (good, of course) and how we are perceived. I'm even more excited to visit Egypt this year but Amsterdam was definitely one of the "high" points of my life.
All this good isn't without a con though. My trip back to Colorado was great. I loved seeing my friends and visiting Isis's grave but my interactions with my sister left me feeling like our relationship will never be what I want it to be and at the very best we can be polite to each other. It's a sad day when discover the only thing that binds you is DNA. I'm sad, but don't really feel a loss. Except when I consider the kids. But I never really got to see them much anyway and any attempt I made at a relationship with them was thwarted with silly rationales like "terrorists might attack when the kids are with you." I somehow think that Stacy thinks I am to blame for Isis's death and maybe I am (not a day goes by that I don't blame myself) but it's troubling when your own family thinks it. And I could be WAY off base but the truth is I'll never really know. Stacy is not the most honest person and has a "face" that she puts on for the world while she keeps her true cards very close to the vest. Perhaps someday things will change, but she holds grudges like no other and I think that after this Cmas of no gifts for the kids she'll never forgive me. Probably for the better anyway. I can't take anymore heartache from trying to be her pal and being shunned.
As for my MBA, I can tell that even that has played a positive role in my life, despite all the hardwork it is. I see that I reflect more on everything, especially business related and I definitely have better troubleshooting and analysis skills. I'm excited to move forward but very much longing for the day when online discussion questions and gap analysis does not rule my life.
Overall 2007 was an amazing year. It will be tough one to top as far as growth and I'm not sure I'd be up for it again so soon. This year I finally learned what my limits were and when too much was enough. If anything this year will be a laid back year for growth and activity (save traveling). I'm solid in my position at work and school. I've gotten in to a healthy routine with eating and the gym. I've slowed down my social life to a pace that I've never experienced and I'm very happy with everything. Where once I double and even triple booked my free time I find that I guard my time off and sometimes even (unfortunately) hurt feelings when I decline to book my dance card. Mostly I've learned what works for me and I've learned that what works will constantly change as I grow and develop.
I'm excited for 2008. Though not much is on the docket yet, it feels like the year is already booked out through July. And actually, it is. Due to financial concerns, Dane and I are running very lean with money and events till Egypt then afterwards I have a small surgery revision then by the time that's done it will be audit season before I know it. I feel like I could already write my 2008 recap but I'll save that for this time next year.
Monday, January 14, 2008
Letter to Myself
To December 29th, 2007 Crystal Ewers:
Hi - I hope this finds you well. I've been wondering - now that it's been almost a year from your surgery, what do you think? Are you glad you did it? What about the payments you make -how has that treated you? What about work? Do you still lie awake a night torturing yourself over your conversations with Karen, Donielle, and Stefan? Do you still open your big mouth and fight the "oppression from the man"? Do you even work at TSA anymore? Do you think yourself silly for the stink you caused last year? Did it do any good or did you learn to just shut up? Have you stuck to the vegan diet/lifestyle and working out? Did you lose weight? What was the wedding like? Did all your plans pan out? How is the MBA program? I'm really scared of it right now. Are you still scared? Do you still dream big? Are we still going to be a lawyer and CPA or hold a PhD? Do we still foster cats? How's Dane? How's his WOW character? Hee hee. Do you still talk to RBMBA? How are your CO friends.
I guess I have more questions than advice or things to say. But how can I possibly have anything to say to you? You will learn it in your own time when you're ready and I could type till I ran out of blog and a) not know what I was talking about and b) you still wouldn't learn. I hope for both our sakes that you eventually learn to calm or control your fire. I love our fire but I'm beginning to think that we are quickly out-wearing out "youthful" excuse. Eventually you need to learn class and tact. We have the passion, motivation, and drive, now we need to refine it and really work it so we can get what we want without burning bridges.
Why is it so fucking easy for other people to just KNOW this shit?! Why has it taken you/us so effing long to figure it out?! Why can Dane and HG just know how to fight and stand up for themselves and have sound arguments and solid thought processes and you struggle to not cry like a baby when your upset. You better figure this shit out by this time next year or I'll - YOU'LL, be seriously put off!!
How's the Dewey!?!? *swoon*
Sincerely,
Crystal and Jebis
December 29th, 2006
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Crystal and Jebis,
Thank you for the kind letter. Now that it has been almost a year since my surgery I can say that it was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I look and feel great. I am disappointed that I've gained some weight back after all I've done to improve my condition but now I will just have to work harder to get and keep the weight off. Financially I've managed to make the payments and it's not so bad. Though I do think once the wedding and Egypt is paid off I'll transfer debt to take advantage of a lower interest rate.
Work is going well, though I'm in a different job than I was when you wrote the letter. I work for Treehouse now and it's going great, I'm back to a smaller, more focused nonprofit and I couldn't be happier. I work when I want, get a ton of time off, more money, better people, better location, I even have a parking spot! And no, I don't torture myself about the conversations I once had w/ LD, DM, and Stefan. LD is still a hooch, DM is moving on, and Stefan is reaping what he sowed. Ahh - the oppression from the "man". I do still open my mouth but even in the last year I've learned to curb what I say and focus on getting my point across without increasing the decible level of my voice. Mentioned above, I no longer work at TSA and I actually don't regret the stink I caused. Perhaps I could have handled it better, but in the end I think its funny. Stefan was so mad - I'd never seen him that mad before. It tickles me now because I don't have to deal with it and I got out of there. Maybe I'd feel different if I were still there.
I haven't stuck to the vegan diet. I did really well through March but I was having a very difficult time healing from the surgery and the doc finally got fed up and said I needed to eat animal protein - be that from eggs, cheese, milk, whatever. I immediately gained back all the weight I'd lost being vegan but I'll have to admit - Mama loves her cheese.
The wedding was beautiful - wouldn't have changed a thing. It was pulled off exactly as planned and it was one of the best times of my life.
Still in the MBA program. My grades have been gradually decreasing but I do have an A+ in this class so far. I'm not scared anymore but very tired of school. I have worked out a new homework plan that works out very well though. I am a little nervous for the all online accounting classes, but what can you do? I'm not so sure I dream big anymore. I've definitely decided I'm done with school for a while now. So no PhD, at least in the near future. I will definitely get my CPA, that's not even up for debate. As for a law degree...that still sounds somewhat enticing, but again - I want a nice long break from school so I can travel and such.
We haven't fostered cats since Nov when we added One Eyed Willie to the group. I'm not sure if we will start fostering again or not. We kinda like the quiet. We'll see though, it was nice to foster cats.
Dane is good - his career is going well. He's now the manager of his department and this week he's in CA training his crew. He still plays WOW and in fact we got in to it the other night because he can't come to bed at a decent hour.
Of course I still talk to RBMBA - all that jazz with TSA blew right over us and we were left with a great foundation for a fun friendship. CO friends are good. Amy lives in Tampa now and I'm going to visit her next week. Sarah is still in CO and doing well.
As for what you say next, you are correct. It's funny because I can probably draw a timeline: in my younger years I didn't know I was so out there and blatant. Then I didn't care that I was. Then I wanted to change it but didn't know how. Then I realized it had to change. This past year has been a transition from knowing I've needed to change and actually changing. This year a refinement of the refinement is what I'm working on. More class and tact, less yelling, less cussing, less losing my head. It's starting to become a part of my make up and I bet by next year I'll be even better at keeping my cool.
HA! The next paragraph is even better! Don't worry C, you've figured it out. You aren't there yet - but you are learning and you are making progress. :-)
Till next year,
CJE 2007
Hi - I hope this finds you well. I've been wondering - now that it's been almost a year from your surgery, what do you think? Are you glad you did it? What about the payments you make -how has that treated you? What about work? Do you still lie awake a night torturing yourself over your conversations with Karen, Donielle, and Stefan? Do you still open your big mouth and fight the "oppression from the man"? Do you even work at TSA anymore? Do you think yourself silly for the stink you caused last year? Did it do any good or did you learn to just shut up? Have you stuck to the vegan diet/lifestyle and working out? Did you lose weight? What was the wedding like? Did all your plans pan out? How is the MBA program? I'm really scared of it right now. Are you still scared? Do you still dream big? Are we still going to be a lawyer and CPA or hold a PhD? Do we still foster cats? How's Dane? How's his WOW character? Hee hee. Do you still talk to RBMBA? How are your CO friends.
I guess I have more questions than advice or things to say. But how can I possibly have anything to say to you? You will learn it in your own time when you're ready and I could type till I ran out of blog and a) not know what I was talking about and b) you still wouldn't learn. I hope for both our sakes that you eventually learn to calm or control your fire. I love our fire but I'm beginning to think that we are quickly out-wearing out "youthful" excuse. Eventually you need to learn class and tact. We have the passion, motivation, and drive, now we need to refine it and really work it so we can get what we want without burning bridges.
Why is it so fucking easy for other people to just KNOW this shit?! Why has it taken you/us so effing long to figure it out?! Why can Dane and HG just know how to fight and stand up for themselves and have sound arguments and solid thought processes and you struggle to not cry like a baby when your upset. You better figure this shit out by this time next year or I'll - YOU'LL, be seriously put off!!
How's the Dewey!?!? *swoon*
Sincerely,
Crystal and Jebis
December 29th, 2006
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Crystal and Jebis,
Thank you for the kind letter. Now that it has been almost a year since my surgery I can say that it was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I look and feel great. I am disappointed that I've gained some weight back after all I've done to improve my condition but now I will just have to work harder to get and keep the weight off. Financially I've managed to make the payments and it's not so bad. Though I do think once the wedding and Egypt is paid off I'll transfer debt to take advantage of a lower interest rate.
Work is going well, though I'm in a different job than I was when you wrote the letter. I work for Treehouse now and it's going great, I'm back to a smaller, more focused nonprofit and I couldn't be happier. I work when I want, get a ton of time off, more money, better people, better location, I even have a parking spot! And no, I don't torture myself about the conversations I once had w/ LD, DM, and Stefan. LD is still a hooch, DM is moving on, and Stefan is reaping what he sowed. Ahh - the oppression from the "man". I do still open my mouth but even in the last year I've learned to curb what I say and focus on getting my point across without increasing the decible level of my voice. Mentioned above, I no longer work at TSA and I actually don't regret the stink I caused. Perhaps I could have handled it better, but in the end I think its funny. Stefan was so mad - I'd never seen him that mad before. It tickles me now because I don't have to deal with it and I got out of there. Maybe I'd feel different if I were still there.
I haven't stuck to the vegan diet. I did really well through March but I was having a very difficult time healing from the surgery and the doc finally got fed up and said I needed to eat animal protein - be that from eggs, cheese, milk, whatever. I immediately gained back all the weight I'd lost being vegan but I'll have to admit - Mama loves her cheese.
The wedding was beautiful - wouldn't have changed a thing. It was pulled off exactly as planned and it was one of the best times of my life.
Still in the MBA program. My grades have been gradually decreasing but I do have an A+ in this class so far. I'm not scared anymore but very tired of school. I have worked out a new homework plan that works out very well though. I am a little nervous for the all online accounting classes, but what can you do? I'm not so sure I dream big anymore. I've definitely decided I'm done with school for a while now. So no PhD, at least in the near future. I will definitely get my CPA, that's not even up for debate. As for a law degree...that still sounds somewhat enticing, but again - I want a nice long break from school so I can travel and such.
We haven't fostered cats since Nov when we added One Eyed Willie to the group. I'm not sure if we will start fostering again or not. We kinda like the quiet. We'll see though, it was nice to foster cats.
Dane is good - his career is going well. He's now the manager of his department and this week he's in CA training his crew. He still plays WOW and in fact we got in to it the other night because he can't come to bed at a decent hour.
Of course I still talk to RBMBA - all that jazz with TSA blew right over us and we were left with a great foundation for a fun friendship. CO friends are good. Amy lives in Tampa now and I'm going to visit her next week. Sarah is still in CO and doing well.
As for what you say next, you are correct. It's funny because I can probably draw a timeline: in my younger years I didn't know I was so out there and blatant. Then I didn't care that I was. Then I wanted to change it but didn't know how. Then I realized it had to change. This past year has been a transition from knowing I've needed to change and actually changing. This year a refinement of the refinement is what I'm working on. More class and tact, less yelling, less cussing, less losing my head. It's starting to become a part of my make up and I bet by next year I'll be even better at keeping my cool.
HA! The next paragraph is even better! Don't worry C, you've figured it out. You aren't there yet - but you are learning and you are making progress. :-)
Till next year,
CJE 2007
Friday, December 14, 2007
Happy Holidays!
So it's been awhile since I blogged - my bad. Here are some updates:
12 Bars of Cmas - we made it to 9 bars. Not so bad. I had a total of 5 drinks over the period of 4 pm - 11 pm so I stayed true to my every other bar code. Dane didn't and ended up getting drunk. It was funny. I, on the other hand, had a 10 am personal training session so I didn't want to go overboard.
Audit/work - The audit went well and I got the unofficial/offical news that our management letter only contains "other comments" which aren't so bad. We still got a management letter, but what can you do? Kudos to me, I'm very proud! Now I have two months worth of backlog stuff that I need to clear up in a matter of days! Should be challenging but doable.
Home - we FINALLY got a new couch. We bought a couch set and rug from Macy's using extreme discounts. It's getting delivered as I type. There was a slight hang up in that the rug that was originally delivered was the wrong style, but Macy's made it right by giving me the display rug and personally delivering and installing the rug themselves. Then we got a coffee table from Brookstone but when we opened the box the table was completely damaged! So we had to get a new one sent to us and expedited since I have company coming over next week. I'm really excited - I've waited a long time for a nice living room set.
School - I just started a "Wealth Maximizing" class at UOP and I have to say my edge on accounting/finance will definitely come in handy. I managed to get all my homework done this week without cutting in to my personal time. I'm looking forward to this class and have high hopes for the teacher. He seems cool and we have him for our next two classes so I'm hoping he works out.
Exercise - I'm still seeing Quinn 2 - 3 times a week and she's kicking my butt but we haven't seen the results we were anticipating so we've changed up my diet to follow a strict measuring and serving pattern. We'll see how it works. I'm really trying to focus on losing weight and make it my priority right now. So far it's been going well. Dane and I love the Golds Gym - it is so nice! Just a few tidbits - it has a movie cardio room that plays a movie (changes every day) on a movie theatre size screen w/ stereo and a ton of cardio machines, they have beautiful locker rooms with cherry wood lockers, all the soaps, mouthwash, shampoos, lotions, hair styling equipment and everything you could want PLUS a plush lounge IN the locker room, they have towel service so we don't have to bring our own, they have a smoothie/espresso bar, beautiful clean pool and hot tub, attached spa, equipment cleaners on damn near every machine, special aerobics room, spinning room, and yoga room, and the best part - each and EVERY cardio machine has it's very own 30+ station tv including 3 DVD movie feeds and the Golds Gym Network (which plays the accompanying music video to whatever song is playing overhead)! And all for only $5 more a month than what we were paying at the old, decrepid 24 Hour Fitness. Simply put, it's a gym that you actually want to go to.
Other - so this weekend is reserved for holiday parties. My company holiday party is this afternoon and then I need to get prepared for Dane's bling bling party. And by that I mean pedicure, tanning, pick a shirt/tie out for Dane and so on. Then tomorrow is a busy, busy day. I have school from 9 - 1, tanning, then hair appointment from 2 - 4, then I have to come home and get gussied up and leave by 5:30. I got a beautiful red dress to wear that's kinda wild but I think I can pull it off. Not sure what to do w/ my hair. I want it down but it will cover the back of the dress, which is the draw. So I might have it pulled up but with loose curls or something. I dunno. I'll post a pic though. Till next time:
12 Bars of Cmas - we made it to 9 bars. Not so bad. I had a total of 5 drinks over the period of 4 pm - 11 pm so I stayed true to my every other bar code. Dane didn't and ended up getting drunk. It was funny. I, on the other hand, had a 10 am personal training session so I didn't want to go overboard.
Audit/work - The audit went well and I got the unofficial/offical news that our management letter only contains "other comments" which aren't so bad. We still got a management letter, but what can you do? Kudos to me, I'm very proud! Now I have two months worth of backlog stuff that I need to clear up in a matter of days! Should be challenging but doable.
Home - we FINALLY got a new couch. We bought a couch set and rug from Macy's using extreme discounts. It's getting delivered as I type. There was a slight hang up in that the rug that was originally delivered was the wrong style, but Macy's made it right by giving me the display rug and personally delivering and installing the rug themselves. Then we got a coffee table from Brookstone but when we opened the box the table was completely damaged! So we had to get a new one sent to us and expedited since I have company coming over next week. I'm really excited - I've waited a long time for a nice living room set.
School - I just started a "Wealth Maximizing" class at UOP and I have to say my edge on accounting/finance will definitely come in handy. I managed to get all my homework done this week without cutting in to my personal time. I'm looking forward to this class and have high hopes for the teacher. He seems cool and we have him for our next two classes so I'm hoping he works out.
Exercise - I'm still seeing Quinn 2 - 3 times a week and she's kicking my butt but we haven't seen the results we were anticipating so we've changed up my diet to follow a strict measuring and serving pattern. We'll see how it works. I'm really trying to focus on losing weight and make it my priority right now. So far it's been going well. Dane and I love the Golds Gym - it is so nice! Just a few tidbits - it has a movie cardio room that plays a movie (changes every day) on a movie theatre size screen w/ stereo and a ton of cardio machines, they have beautiful locker rooms with cherry wood lockers, all the soaps, mouthwash, shampoos, lotions, hair styling equipment and everything you could want PLUS a plush lounge IN the locker room, they have towel service so we don't have to bring our own, they have a smoothie/espresso bar, beautiful clean pool and hot tub, attached spa, equipment cleaners on damn near every machine, special aerobics room, spinning room, and yoga room, and the best part - each and EVERY cardio machine has it's very own 30+ station tv including 3 DVD movie feeds and the Golds Gym Network (which plays the accompanying music video to whatever song is playing overhead)! And all for only $5 more a month than what we were paying at the old, decrepid 24 Hour Fitness. Simply put, it's a gym that you actually want to go to.
Other - so this weekend is reserved for holiday parties. My company holiday party is this afternoon and then I need to get prepared for Dane's bling bling party. And by that I mean pedicure, tanning, pick a shirt/tie out for Dane and so on. Then tomorrow is a busy, busy day. I have school from 9 - 1, tanning, then hair appointment from 2 - 4, then I have to come home and get gussied up and leave by 5:30. I got a beautiful red dress to wear that's kinda wild but I think I can pull it off. Not sure what to do w/ my hair. I want it down but it will cover the back of the dress, which is the draw. So I might have it pulled up but with loose curls or something. I dunno. I'll post a pic though. Till next time:
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Egypt is Calling
So today was a very exciting day. Dane and I finalized our decision (that we've been tossing around since Nov 19th) to go to Egypt. That's right - for as long as I can remember I've wanted to go to Egypt and really spend some time there soaking in the culture and walking in the same sand the Pharohs did. And to go with a group of folks that I'm familiar with and have gone before is definitely a plus. And we'll be going to a lot of places that aren't normally tourist stops because of the connections this group will have. We're even going to the Temple of Isis. Amazing. It hasn't hit me yet. Probably wont till I have to start paying the bills to go on the trip, which isn't cheap but it is definitely within reach. In fact, school timing lined up nicely for me to go and it's the slowest time of year at work. I even have enough vacation time saved up to take two solid weeks off. Can you believe that! Of course Dane is coming and it will be the experience of a life time. Check it out:
http://www.delilahs-belly-dance-retreat.com/EgyptTour_packet.pdf
If that doesn't work, go to http://www.delilahs-belly-dance-retreat.com/ then click on Egypt Tour.
Now here's the deal. There have been some people (and it is not anyone who reads this blog so don't think for a second this is aimed at anyone close to me - besides, my friends don't judge me anyway and if they do they are kind enough to keep to themselves) who get this look or tone, almost a mockery. Let me explain. Anyone that I'm excited enough to share my travels with is at least some how affiliated to me. And as anyone who knows me knows, I travel. A lot. For instance, if we were to take a 12 month period, May 2007 - May 2008, I will have traveled to Amsterdam, Cabo San Lucas, Denver, Tampa, and now Egypt. That's a lot of personal travel for one little year. However, that's what I love to do. Dane and I made a choice not to have children. We decided that we'd rather travel the world and allocate our money and resources in other ways. But I've noticed that when we actually do travel, we get almost a stink eye from some people or at the very least a friendly but sarcastic "gee, wish *I* could go on vacation...." And I have to look at them and say "you made a choice to have children and that's where all your time and money goes." Why is it that people look at you like you have money growing out of your ears or you sell drugs on the street because you have money to travel? Now let me be the first to tell you that Dane and I do NOT have the cash for this, everything we do is financed through revolving credit. But we pay shit off and work hard therefore we play hard. I just don't get it. How much money do you think the average person or family spends on one child a month, any age? I guarantee you it's more than we shell out for traveling (assuming the traveling costs are expensed over time, not all at once). Yet that's okay. I don't look at Jill and say "Gee, you sure are spending a lot on Billy" So why is it okay to make a comment like that about travel. Or anything that people who choose not to have kids spend their money on. I know I'm not articulating this well and this is certainly not knocking those who have kids but rather those who have kids but feel like they are priviledged because of it or oppressed. You have access to the same credit cards I do (unless you have really bad credit), so if *YOU* want to go to Egypt, by all means. Till then, don't poo poo me and play the woe-to-me-I'm-a-parent card. Whatever.
I'm probably just biased because everytime I hear a parent piss and moan about parenting, no matter how tough it is, I want to look at them and say "At least you're still in the game."
http://www.delilahs-belly-dance-retreat.com/EgyptTour_packet.pdf
If that doesn't work, go to http://www.delilahs-belly-dance-retreat.com/ then click on Egypt Tour.
Now here's the deal. There have been some people (and it is not anyone who reads this blog so don't think for a second this is aimed at anyone close to me - besides, my friends don't judge me anyway and if they do they are kind enough to keep to themselves) who get this look or tone, almost a mockery. Let me explain. Anyone that I'm excited enough to share my travels with is at least some how affiliated to me. And as anyone who knows me knows, I travel. A lot. For instance, if we were to take a 12 month period, May 2007 - May 2008, I will have traveled to Amsterdam, Cabo San Lucas, Denver, Tampa, and now Egypt. That's a lot of personal travel for one little year. However, that's what I love to do. Dane and I made a choice not to have children. We decided that we'd rather travel the world and allocate our money and resources in other ways. But I've noticed that when we actually do travel, we get almost a stink eye from some people or at the very least a friendly but sarcastic "gee, wish *I* could go on vacation...." And I have to look at them and say "you made a choice to have children and that's where all your time and money goes." Why is it that people look at you like you have money growing out of your ears or you sell drugs on the street because you have money to travel? Now let me be the first to tell you that Dane and I do NOT have the cash for this, everything we do is financed through revolving credit. But we pay shit off and work hard therefore we play hard. I just don't get it. How much money do you think the average person or family spends on one child a month, any age? I guarantee you it's more than we shell out for traveling (assuming the traveling costs are expensed over time, not all at once). Yet that's okay. I don't look at Jill and say "Gee, you sure are spending a lot on Billy" So why is it okay to make a comment like that about travel. Or anything that people who choose not to have kids spend their money on. I know I'm not articulating this well and this is certainly not knocking those who have kids but rather those who have kids but feel like they are priviledged because of it or oppressed. You have access to the same credit cards I do (unless you have really bad credit), so if *YOU* want to go to Egypt, by all means. Till then, don't poo poo me and play the woe-to-me-I'm-a-parent card. Whatever.
I'm probably just biased because everytime I hear a parent piss and moan about parenting, no matter how tough it is, I want to look at them and say "At least you're still in the game."
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
12 Bars of Christmas
Dane and I have been invited to the 12 Bars of Cmas pub crawl in Belltown in December. Now part of the criteria to participate in said event is you have to wear a santa hat. So I said to myself - "Self - this is a great opportunity to don your Dr. Suess santa hat again." A picture essay:
The night begins and Crystal is looking good in the cute santa hat
The drinking begins....
And continues....
Uh oh - here's Crystal in the hat singing karaoke! Troubles-a-brewin!
Why is the reindeer wearing the hat? Crystal must be in the bathroom.
What ho? A foe? Wearing CRYSTAL'S hat?!
Now who's wearing the hat?
Another hat bandit - what gives?
Ane here's Crystal/Jebis in all his/her glory having freshly fallen off the stage and spilt some guy's drink all over him/her. But not to be detered, he/she continues the night sans the hat.
Here's to another holiday season, folks. :-)
The night begins and Crystal is looking good in the cute santa hat
The drinking begins....
And continues....
Uh oh - here's Crystal in the hat singing karaoke! Troubles-a-brewin!
Why is the reindeer wearing the hat? Crystal must be in the bathroom.
What ho? A foe? Wearing CRYSTAL'S hat?!
Now who's wearing the hat?
Another hat bandit - what gives?
Ane here's Crystal/Jebis in all his/her glory having freshly fallen off the stage and spilt some guy's drink all over him/her. But not to be detered, he/she continues the night sans the hat.
Here's to another holiday season, folks. :-)
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Just When I Thought I Was Out....
They pulled me back in..
Hee hee - we got through season one of The Sopranos. Very good. I really like Carmella's character. It will probably take some time to get through the show, which is good, gives us something to do this winter.
I"m happy for the 3 day week coming up. Got plans with RB on Wed - that will be nice. I could use some time with her. It feels like forever since we've hung out. I swear - one weekend by myself and I feel starved for friend time. 13 Coins will be cool too. I'm drooling just thinking about the food and I've never even had it.
One more month of freedom then I start school again. Seriously - it's taking all I got to continue forward. I will NEVER quit but I think I might take up bitching about school as a hobby.
I'm trying to convince my dad to come up for Cmas. So far it doesn't sound like it will happen but I'm holding my breath and crossing my fingers.
The scar revision looks great though I can tell right now that I will want the entire revision. I asked Dane about getting a nose job and he thinks I'm crazy. Maybe I'll have Doc touch up w/ some lipo. Hopefully by then (Feb or Mar) I can lose a little weight and get to my desired shape. I could probably put the entire cost on my credit card by that time. We'll see.
I've been jonesin to book a trip - somewhere, anywhere. We scrapped the Antartica idea for now, don't have the money to do it the way we want to, but we have been tossing around other ideas like 2 weeks in Europe or New Years in New York. We'll see. I think it's compensating for something else personally. Which is why I haven't booked anything yet. I get very impulsive when I'm not happy or ancy. I need to learn to shake that habit.
In the meantime, I have plenty of Hoegaardens to hoe-d me over. HAHAHAH!! I crack myself up.
Let's see what else? Absolutely nothing because I'm a boring piece of shit! Seriously - when did I lose my edge? When did I ever have an edge? What am I doing with myself that's worth something even if only to me? I need a hobby (other than bitching about school)...I guess until school's over I can have the gym be my hobby. But outside of that I need something. I should start doing my art stuff again. Maybe I'll bust that stuff out.
Willy is doing good. He's so cute. Dewey doesn't yell at him anymore but the girls hate him. It will take time before there is peace in the house. And Willy will definitely need "bell therapy" before we can have a Cmas tree. I can't wait for Cmas this year. I'm really happy and excited for it. I want to decorate and have a tree. I LOVE gingerbread lattes. I swear that will be the sole reason why I won't lose weight this season. Damn Sbux.
Oh yeah, and the Seahawks won. Which is cool, but Dane takes it as a personal victory because we won against Chicago which somehow relates to Rhi. I hadn't even put the two thoughts together but clearly Dane did. Rhi was my best friend but I think Dane feels more loss/bitterness/hurt than I ever did. Maybe it was the money. Which again is BS because Dane made me reimburse him for Rhi's loan so in the end I was the one that foot the $2000 bill for her paycheck advances. Yikes I tell ya. Never lend money to a friend. Though...I have to say that there is someone out there that has made good on their promise and I love this person dearly for it. Maybe someday Rhi will come around and realize that no matter what went down with us, a debt is still owed. I pulled the same shit with Randall. I borrowed over $2G from him and went through a phase where I flat out denied that I owed him. I even pinned it someone else. Shame, shame. In the end (about two years after the fact) I realized that regardless of how things ended up with us and not matter what I spent the money on, it was still me that owed him the money and I fessed up and paid up. Now our relationship has never been and never will be the same but at least I can look him (and myself) in the eye now. Course I am me and Rhi is she. She probably has a different take on the situation. In fact, I doubt that will ever change. I'm not eating out of can or living in a box but it sure would be nice to be repaid. Really, it's the respectful thing to do.
Hee hee - we got through season one of The Sopranos. Very good. I really like Carmella's character. It will probably take some time to get through the show, which is good, gives us something to do this winter.
I"m happy for the 3 day week coming up. Got plans with RB on Wed - that will be nice. I could use some time with her. It feels like forever since we've hung out. I swear - one weekend by myself and I feel starved for friend time. 13 Coins will be cool too. I'm drooling just thinking about the food and I've never even had it.
One more month of freedom then I start school again. Seriously - it's taking all I got to continue forward. I will NEVER quit but I think I might take up bitching about school as a hobby.
I'm trying to convince my dad to come up for Cmas. So far it doesn't sound like it will happen but I'm holding my breath and crossing my fingers.
The scar revision looks great though I can tell right now that I will want the entire revision. I asked Dane about getting a nose job and he thinks I'm crazy. Maybe I'll have Doc touch up w/ some lipo. Hopefully by then (Feb or Mar) I can lose a little weight and get to my desired shape. I could probably put the entire cost on my credit card by that time. We'll see.
I've been jonesin to book a trip - somewhere, anywhere. We scrapped the Antartica idea for now, don't have the money to do it the way we want to, but we have been tossing around other ideas like 2 weeks in Europe or New Years in New York. We'll see. I think it's compensating for something else personally. Which is why I haven't booked anything yet. I get very impulsive when I'm not happy or ancy. I need to learn to shake that habit.
In the meantime, I have plenty of Hoegaardens to hoe-d me over. HAHAHAH!! I crack myself up.
Let's see what else? Absolutely nothing because I'm a boring piece of shit! Seriously - when did I lose my edge? When did I ever have an edge? What am I doing with myself that's worth something even if only to me? I need a hobby (other than bitching about school)...I guess until school's over I can have the gym be my hobby. But outside of that I need something. I should start doing my art stuff again. Maybe I'll bust that stuff out.
Willy is doing good. He's so cute. Dewey doesn't yell at him anymore but the girls hate him. It will take time before there is peace in the house. And Willy will definitely need "bell therapy" before we can have a Cmas tree. I can't wait for Cmas this year. I'm really happy and excited for it. I want to decorate and have a tree. I LOVE gingerbread lattes. I swear that will be the sole reason why I won't lose weight this season. Damn Sbux.
Oh yeah, and the Seahawks won. Which is cool, but Dane takes it as a personal victory because we won against Chicago which somehow relates to Rhi. I hadn't even put the two thoughts together but clearly Dane did. Rhi was my best friend but I think Dane feels more loss/bitterness/hurt than I ever did. Maybe it was the money. Which again is BS because Dane made me reimburse him for Rhi's loan so in the end I was the one that foot the $2000 bill for her paycheck advances. Yikes I tell ya. Never lend money to a friend. Though...I have to say that there is someone out there that has made good on their promise and I love this person dearly for it. Maybe someday Rhi will come around and realize that no matter what went down with us, a debt is still owed. I pulled the same shit with Randall. I borrowed over $2G from him and went through a phase where I flat out denied that I owed him. I even pinned it someone else. Shame, shame. In the end (about two years after the fact) I realized that regardless of how things ended up with us and not matter what I spent the money on, it was still me that owed him the money and I fessed up and paid up. Now our relationship has never been and never will be the same but at least I can look him (and myself) in the eye now. Course I am me and Rhi is she. She probably has a different take on the situation. In fact, I doubt that will ever change. I'm not eating out of can or living in a box but it sure would be nice to be repaid. Really, it's the respectful thing to do.
Friday, November 16, 2007
Revision
This morning Dr. E revised my scar from surgery. He's not happy with the results and wants to do a complete redo, but for now we decided to fix the "hole" and see how that heals up then make a decision about doing anything else. Doc wont charge me for his fees, but I would have to pay the anesthesiologist (sp?) and facilities fee. I'm tempted to do more work....not sure what though. Anyhoot - I'm at home resting today and for the whole weekend. Dane and I plan to spend the weekend holed up watching the Sopranos. Should be fun. We've never seen it so it's time to see what all the fuss is about.
The audit continues to go well. There have been a few more adjustments, but they are reclasses so no bottom line effect. All in all I've done good. My team has done good and everyone is happy. October is slowly coming along. I've had to do the payroll (which is a bear because a lot of stuff has changed) and of course all the other stuff that needs updating with the new fiscal year (fixed assets schedule, blah blah blah). And of course load the budgets. That hasn't been as painful as I thought though, but I'm not even a third done.
Thank God there's no school for me right now. Poor HG.
Dane is doing good - he decided to stay w/ Denali and received a fat raise and a promotion. I'm really happy and proud of him. However, our marriage is not doing as well. Dane tends to be so damn cocky when he's doing his Remedy job. I don't really like that Dane. At all. ALL he talks about is work. And when he's not doing that, he's playing WOW. At least he's going to the gym with me now. He did take me to see Bee Movie the other night, which was nice, but again - it was all about him. *sigh* I want the Dane that worked on satellites. That's my favorite Dane. I'm sad that he was so tired all the time, but he looked great (in shape) and he was humbled. Not cocky at all. I don't really like who he is now, but what can I do? Honestly I wonder if....nevermind. I'm just loopy on oxycotin (sp?) from the revision. We'll work it out. Even if I have to get my own apartment. :-P
I was able to get a refund from 24 Hour Fitness so I can go to Quinn's new gym, which is Golds Gym in Redmond. Starting 11/27 I will see her every Tue and Thur night from 7 - 8 till 12/20, and on Sat 12/1 and 12/8. That should get some results and get a pattern started. After that we'll see what I want to do as far as becoming a member of Golds Gym (blah) or Iron Works in Bellevue (better) or if I feel that I have what I need to do it on my own. We'll see. Dane and I have gone to the gym in the mornings the past few mornings and I have to say that I love going in the am. It kickstarts my day and it's so nice to have that taken care of. We were sleeping in till 8:30 most mornings anyway likes two slugs, it feels nice to get up at a decent hour and make better use of our mornings. Plus it helps you burn more calories throughout the day! And the gym is less crowded at that time. So the idea is to workout in the mornings 5 days a week, 3 training sessions a week (on top of the morning workouts), and of course a monitored diet. With all that I should definitey see results in 4 - 6 weeks. Then I can keep that up for probably another 2 - 3 months and then start a maintenance program.
I'm tired. Going to bed.
The audit continues to go well. There have been a few more adjustments, but they are reclasses so no bottom line effect. All in all I've done good. My team has done good and everyone is happy. October is slowly coming along. I've had to do the payroll (which is a bear because a lot of stuff has changed) and of course all the other stuff that needs updating with the new fiscal year (fixed assets schedule, blah blah blah). And of course load the budgets. That hasn't been as painful as I thought though, but I'm not even a third done.
Thank God there's no school for me right now. Poor HG.
Dane is doing good - he decided to stay w/ Denali and received a fat raise and a promotion. I'm really happy and proud of him. However, our marriage is not doing as well. Dane tends to be so damn cocky when he's doing his Remedy job. I don't really like that Dane. At all. ALL he talks about is work. And when he's not doing that, he's playing WOW. At least he's going to the gym with me now. He did take me to see Bee Movie the other night, which was nice, but again - it was all about him. *sigh* I want the Dane that worked on satellites. That's my favorite Dane. I'm sad that he was so tired all the time, but he looked great (in shape) and he was humbled. Not cocky at all. I don't really like who he is now, but what can I do? Honestly I wonder if....nevermind. I'm just loopy on oxycotin (sp?) from the revision. We'll work it out. Even if I have to get my own apartment. :-P
I was able to get a refund from 24 Hour Fitness so I can go to Quinn's new gym, which is Golds Gym in Redmond. Starting 11/27 I will see her every Tue and Thur night from 7 - 8 till 12/20, and on Sat 12/1 and 12/8. That should get some results and get a pattern started. After that we'll see what I want to do as far as becoming a member of Golds Gym (blah) or Iron Works in Bellevue (better) or if I feel that I have what I need to do it on my own. We'll see. Dane and I have gone to the gym in the mornings the past few mornings and I have to say that I love going in the am. It kickstarts my day and it's so nice to have that taken care of. We were sleeping in till 8:30 most mornings anyway likes two slugs, it feels nice to get up at a decent hour and make better use of our mornings. Plus it helps you burn more calories throughout the day! And the gym is less crowded at that time. So the idea is to workout in the mornings 5 days a week, 3 training sessions a week (on top of the morning workouts), and of course a monitored diet. With all that I should definitey see results in 4 - 6 weeks. Then I can keep that up for probably another 2 - 3 months and then start a maintenance program.
I'm tired. Going to bed.
Monday, November 12, 2007
The Weekend
The weekend was started off by a great happy hour that lasted till 10:30 at a place called Cafe Metropolitan. It was actually this great bar - very European. High ceilings, lights on strings, sort of felt like it was on a patio, but indoors. I had a great time with all my co-workers, even HG and MR came out. I wasn't going to drink a lot but the beer I had was the best beer I've ever had! It's called Hoegaarden and it's sorta orangy-cinnamon flavored beer. Awesome. In fact, if the beer wouldn't have been so good, I wouldn't have gotten drunk. Famous last words, eh? Anyway - we had a blast, Dane finally met up with us and we made it to Nijo. Of course, by the time we got there, I was too wasted to enjoy my food. We made a decision right then and there that we would probably save more money by eating at Nijo w/ regular prices than we would staying at the bar till Nijo happy hour. Poor MR was feeling pretty buzzed too. And who got me cigarettes? I haven't touched those things since CO but somehow I was smoking. Weird. After Nijo, Dane poured me into the car and took me home. I promptly passed out but he stayed up since it was our third Olympia Film Fest All Freakin Night event on Saturday. By the time he came to bed at 5, I woke up and was just drunk enough to stay awake and be silly. Dane ignored me long enough that I finally fell back asleep but was up by 8. Needless to say, Dane was out cold so I got up and played on the internet, ate breakfast, sat in the hot tub, read my book, then got Dane up to take the kitties in to the Humane Society.
The kitties aren't ready to be adopted, so we'll keep them for another week, which is good because now we don't have to pay for Willy's vaccines. After that and lunch we watched more Nip Tuck S4 then took a nap. Headed out to Oly around 6:30, got our tickets, walked all over to find a grocery store since the one we knew was there was actually closed, got some pizza, then hung out in the truck for 2 hours till they let us in. This year was not as good as the prior years. I don't know why, but the smelliest people in the world go to this event. WHY don't they wear deodorant?! Anyway, it was fun but it wasn't like last year. I slept through 3 of the 5 movies. Last year I only slept through 1. After the fest we drove home and went to breakfast/lunch at Daman's. By noon Dane and I were in bed sleeping.
We woke up long enough to goof around, get some dinner, watch the rest of Nip Tuck, then poke around on the internet to look at vacations and stuff. We decided that we can't afford the Antartica trip next December (or at least for what we want to do) so we decided to hold off on that and do a different big trip or maybe we'll just save money and do something small then do the Antartic trip in December 2010 or something. We'll see. Right now we're waiting to see what travel plans our planner has in store, www.travelwithalan.com or http://travelwithalan.blogspot.com/, he has great deals that just can't be beat. We are anxious to see where he's going for his Independence Day trip (our 1 year anniversary) and next Cmas (our first "big trip"). We have some backup ideas for both if it doesn't work out. I want to go to Europe w/ Dane even if only for a week. I am going to see Amy in January for a 4 day weekend, so that will be cool. I've never really been to FL and I'm anxious to see her new dig.
School starts up in a month. Ugh. Just in time for a 2 week break for Cmas, why we couldn't just start AFTER Cmas, I don't know but whatever. I'm so done with school. It will take all I've got in my to finish this degree. Then I'll have to muster the willpower to take the CPA. After that I'm done. Done. Done. Done. People think that because someone else is doing their PhD that I'll want to. Not true. I've thought about it in the past, but because of what I've watched this person have to do to get their PhD and because my own priorities have shifted I can confidently say that I will NOT be getting my PhD any time in the near or distant future. Maybe when I'm in my 50's and bored I'll change my mind. But for now, I'm ready to start living and start traveling and I can't do that with a monkey (school) on my back. I should say that I am glad I am making myself do this. I will be very proud of my degree when I'm done and I have only me degree to thank for taking me as far as I've come to date. The degree and certification will solidify my position here and take me as far as I dare to go for now. Really at this point I need to get experience under my belt. After the Master's, my education will have taken me as far as I probably can go, in the accounting world at least. Ugh, just thinking about it makes me tired.
The kitties aren't ready to be adopted, so we'll keep them for another week, which is good because now we don't have to pay for Willy's vaccines. After that and lunch we watched more Nip Tuck S4 then took a nap. Headed out to Oly around 6:30, got our tickets, walked all over to find a grocery store since the one we knew was there was actually closed, got some pizza, then hung out in the truck for 2 hours till they let us in. This year was not as good as the prior years. I don't know why, but the smelliest people in the world go to this event. WHY don't they wear deodorant?! Anyway, it was fun but it wasn't like last year. I slept through 3 of the 5 movies. Last year I only slept through 1. After the fest we drove home and went to breakfast/lunch at Daman's. By noon Dane and I were in bed sleeping.
We woke up long enough to goof around, get some dinner, watch the rest of Nip Tuck, then poke around on the internet to look at vacations and stuff. We decided that we can't afford the Antartica trip next December (or at least for what we want to do) so we decided to hold off on that and do a different big trip or maybe we'll just save money and do something small then do the Antartic trip in December 2010 or something. We'll see. Right now we're waiting to see what travel plans our planner has in store, www.travelwithalan.com or http://travelwithalan.blogspot.com/, he has great deals that just can't be beat. We are anxious to see where he's going for his Independence Day trip (our 1 year anniversary) and next Cmas (our first "big trip"). We have some backup ideas for both if it doesn't work out. I want to go to Europe w/ Dane even if only for a week. I am going to see Amy in January for a 4 day weekend, so that will be cool. I've never really been to FL and I'm anxious to see her new dig.
School starts up in a month. Ugh. Just in time for a 2 week break for Cmas, why we couldn't just start AFTER Cmas, I don't know but whatever. I'm so done with school. It will take all I've got in my to finish this degree. Then I'll have to muster the willpower to take the CPA. After that I'm done. Done. Done. Done. People think that because someone else is doing their PhD that I'll want to. Not true. I've thought about it in the past, but because of what I've watched this person have to do to get their PhD and because my own priorities have shifted I can confidently say that I will NOT be getting my PhD any time in the near or distant future. Maybe when I'm in my 50's and bored I'll change my mind. But for now, I'm ready to start living and start traveling and I can't do that with a monkey (school) on my back. I should say that I am glad I am making myself do this. I will be very proud of my degree when I'm done and I have only me degree to thank for taking me as far as I've come to date. The degree and certification will solidify my position here and take me as far as I dare to go for now. Really at this point I need to get experience under my belt. After the Master's, my education will have taken me as far as I probably can go, in the accounting world at least. Ugh, just thinking about it makes me tired.
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Boys vs. Girls
It's half way through the audit week, so far so good. Only 5 adjustments, all client (that's me) proposed. They are staying till Friday though, which is longer than hoped for but right on the expected schedule. Monday night I came home and worked my toosh off w/ chores, last night I busted my butt at the gym, so tonight I decided to treat myself to a pedicure, wax, shopping, dinner, and a massage. It was a great night indeed.
However, whilst I was trying on clothes at Dressbarn (still hate that name) I overheard two young girls, lets say 10 years old, discussing whatever came to mind. They were talking about what sport girl A should do. Girl B suggested basketball to which A replied "that's a boys sport, I want a girls sport." B tried to push and say that no, basketball was for everyone, just like tennis and other sports, but A was adament that certain sports were for boys only and that boys had this mentality that they were better than girls. A went on to say "I don't know where they get this idea from, was it a movie?" That comment made me almost bust out laughing but then I thought about it and thought - wait a tick - what does give the world/our society the impression, apparently very early on, that boys one up girls?
Is it religion that teaches the man is the head of the house? Is it the glass ceiling and the fact that men simply make more money than women which equates to power? Is it because women are seen as nuturers where as men can just up and leave no strings attached, no responsibility? Is it our government? Is it our teachers? Is it inate? What gives? It was an interesting thought to ponder and I'll be honest - I didn't get very far. Some things just are the way they is and that be that, ya know.
On that note, I'll be attending a dinner celebration tomorrow w/ RBMBA to celebrate Women of Influence in the Seattle area. I'm really looking forward to it, especially now that RB is going. I miss her and it's been a while since we've been able to shoot the shit.
My diet is going well, my exercise could use some improvement. No word on my refund from 24 Hour Fitness yet. I really hope they give me one, I want to continue training with Quinn even if it means doubling up on gyms for a few months.
The holidays are approaching and with shock I looked at the calendar and realized that as of Monday I have only 9 working days left in November. The 12th is a staff retreat, I have surgery revision on the 16th, I'm off for Thanksgiving on the 22nd and 23rd, then Holiday Magic is on the 28th and 29th. Luckily I think November will be a "bye" month for closing, which would be great because then I could focus on wrapping up the audit, then entering the budget info, cleaning up the October GL, rolling balances forward, clean up the vendors and all GL accounts (typical maintenance), and close Oct and Nov in one fell swoop. By that time it will be the middle of December and time for my Winter Break - I have December 21st - January 1st off of work (YAY!). When I come back, it will be time to close December and then on to procedure books and all the stuff that got pushed to the wayside while I got everything in order.
Well, I"m tired - I meant to go to bed an hour ago - oops.
However, whilst I was trying on clothes at Dressbarn (still hate that name) I overheard two young girls, lets say 10 years old, discussing whatever came to mind. They were talking about what sport girl A should do. Girl B suggested basketball to which A replied "that's a boys sport, I want a girls sport." B tried to push and say that no, basketball was for everyone, just like tennis and other sports, but A was adament that certain sports were for boys only and that boys had this mentality that they were better than girls. A went on to say "I don't know where they get this idea from, was it a movie?" That comment made me almost bust out laughing but then I thought about it and thought - wait a tick - what does give the world/our society the impression, apparently very early on, that boys one up girls?
Is it religion that teaches the man is the head of the house? Is it the glass ceiling and the fact that men simply make more money than women which equates to power? Is it because women are seen as nuturers where as men can just up and leave no strings attached, no responsibility? Is it our government? Is it our teachers? Is it inate? What gives? It was an interesting thought to ponder and I'll be honest - I didn't get very far. Some things just are the way they is and that be that, ya know.
On that note, I'll be attending a dinner celebration tomorrow w/ RBMBA to celebrate Women of Influence in the Seattle area. I'm really looking forward to it, especially now that RB is going. I miss her and it's been a while since we've been able to shoot the shit.
My diet is going well, my exercise could use some improvement. No word on my refund from 24 Hour Fitness yet. I really hope they give me one, I want to continue training with Quinn even if it means doubling up on gyms for a few months.
The holidays are approaching and with shock I looked at the calendar and realized that as of Monday I have only 9 working days left in November. The 12th is a staff retreat, I have surgery revision on the 16th, I'm off for Thanksgiving on the 22nd and 23rd, then Holiday Magic is on the 28th and 29th. Luckily I think November will be a "bye" month for closing, which would be great because then I could focus on wrapping up the audit, then entering the budget info, cleaning up the October GL, rolling balances forward, clean up the vendors and all GL accounts (typical maintenance), and close Oct and Nov in one fell swoop. By that time it will be the middle of December and time for my Winter Break - I have December 21st - January 1st off of work (YAY!). When I come back, it will be time to close December and then on to procedure books and all the stuff that got pushed to the wayside while I got everything in order.
Well, I"m tired - I meant to go to bed an hour ago - oops.
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