Rhi has made the decision to move back to Denver. I couldn't be happier for her and honestly think it is a good idea. We have both learned a lot about each other and life and friends and family and what truly matters. She leaves this Sunday with the two bags that she came to us with in April 04. It's funny how things work out like that. I look back and think: well sh*t, was the last 1.5 years a waste? Did we/she learn anything? Did we fail at our original purpose to help her stand alone? But then I look at our memories and everything we have done and been through and I realize that we are all much richer than we were before we knew each other. This has all been a good lesson, no matter how you look at it.
I just re-read my paragraph and it looks like I'm being the PC friend about everything and covering up my emotions. Sorry to disappoint, but that isn't the case. In the end, everyone got what they wanted. Rhi found out what she wanted by being away from it and Dane and I will get our alone time. It will be nice to be without a roommate, no offense Rhi. :) I think it will help D and I start our OWN life together. And a selfish side of me needed Rhi to get started here. I think a part of me was terrified to be without someone, other than Dane, I was really close to. Rhi was my woobie. But I hit the ground running here and left my blanket behind crumpled on the floor. Well Blanket - I don't blame you for wanting a new home where someone needs you, wants you, and will snuggle you. Kate needs a woobie far more than I do anymore. Bon voyage my dear! We send you off with our best!
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Monday, September 26, 2005
Sponsered By Happy Hour
Well it's that time again. The time of year where I crave recklessness more and responsibility less. Though I have to say with each passing year the craving subsides more and more. This year Dane and I are going to Cancun for the 4th anniversary of Isis's death. I am determined to have fun yet honor her memory. For next year, as long as I am working for TSA, I will not even have the option to take time off as September 30th is the fiscal year ending. It's okay though, time changes everything and life does in fact go on. I don't think it will be as much of an issue this year.
TSA is going quite well. I am getting the hang of it even though I make the most bonehead mistakes all the time. It frustrates me that I just don't know the chart of accounts and funds off the top of my head, but time will help that as well. TSA mandates a two week consecutive vacation a year, so that makes travel plans a little different but it will be nice to take two weeks off at once. I can't remember the last time I did that save the move, but that was filled with more work than going to work. I am going on at least a one mile walk a day and watching what I eat more and more. I haven't found a yoga place yet, but it has been nice working, exercising at work, then coming home at 5 and having the whole night to accomplish my domestic and tutorial tasks. It has been even nicer laying around at home on the weekends.
Poor Rhi is struggling being without Kate. I sympathize for her and support her no matter what she does as a whole and/or in daily life. It seems like there is nothing I can do for her and the more I try to, the more pushback I get. I imagine the best course of action for me is to slip into the sidelines and cheer from afar. A difficult thing for me to do no doubt, but it seems like it is the best thing that I can do for Rhi and that is after all what I am here to do. Be there for her even if it means not being there with her.
This past weekend was spent going to the NIN concert, which I thought was awesome!! However, I get the feeling that my opinion is somewhat biased as I have only seen the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Lynard Skynard, Shania Twain, and Yanni in concert before NIN. Trent Reznor is looking better than ever and did an amazing rendition of Hurt. Saturday Dane and I went to a ceramic shop where you pick out a piece, paint it to your liking and then fire it (well they do). We were there for their Marg Madness night and didn't even get to our marg glasses (to paint) but we were able to take them home and we can go back whenever and finish them. Dane painted our first Christmas tree ornament and I painted a tall mug for work with a fairy on it though I am not even close to finished, to see the fairy I am painting click here http://www.capricorn007.com/images2/fairy.gif
I am in my 4th week of psychology class. It is a good class. I have three weeks off after that then I start a history class on the US Constitution. 60 days off (during the holidays whoo hoo!) then I start a humanities class on the study of film right after Dane and I return from celebrating my 26th (OMG) b-day on Oahu. Then another couple weeks off and I'm back into my last 5 classes of accounting, graduating around Oct 06.
We are celebrating Dane's b-day this weekend with a housewarming party. Since we only know about 8 people they were all invited. Not sure who will show up but it will be a good time. I am considering taking him to a cabaret show (huge here in Seattle) but it is expensive!! We are also going to see the Seattle Symphony this Thursday for their version of Star Wars (Dane's pick). Rhi picked the Swing band Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, I picked Handel's Messiah, and as a bonus we are going to the Fabulous Forties. It's about time I got some culture and music in my life so I can't wait!
That is all to report. Sorry Sarah, I need to keep this updated more, thank you for encouraging me. BTW, I commented twice on your blog but I don't see my comments on there. Peculiar. Basically I was happy to hear Max had such a wonderful b-day and it warms my heart to hear of all the support you guys have surrounding you.
Blessings to all!
TSA is going quite well. I am getting the hang of it even though I make the most bonehead mistakes all the time. It frustrates me that I just don't know the chart of accounts and funds off the top of my head, but time will help that as well. TSA mandates a two week consecutive vacation a year, so that makes travel plans a little different but it will be nice to take two weeks off at once. I can't remember the last time I did that save the move, but that was filled with more work than going to work. I am going on at least a one mile walk a day and watching what I eat more and more. I haven't found a yoga place yet, but it has been nice working, exercising at work, then coming home at 5 and having the whole night to accomplish my domestic and tutorial tasks. It has been even nicer laying around at home on the weekends.
Poor Rhi is struggling being without Kate. I sympathize for her and support her no matter what she does as a whole and/or in daily life. It seems like there is nothing I can do for her and the more I try to, the more pushback I get. I imagine the best course of action for me is to slip into the sidelines and cheer from afar. A difficult thing for me to do no doubt, but it seems like it is the best thing that I can do for Rhi and that is after all what I am here to do. Be there for her even if it means not being there with her.
This past weekend was spent going to the NIN concert, which I thought was awesome!! However, I get the feeling that my opinion is somewhat biased as I have only seen the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Lynard Skynard, Shania Twain, and Yanni in concert before NIN. Trent Reznor is looking better than ever and did an amazing rendition of Hurt. Saturday Dane and I went to a ceramic shop where you pick out a piece, paint it to your liking and then fire it (well they do). We were there for their Marg Madness night and didn't even get to our marg glasses (to paint) but we were able to take them home and we can go back whenever and finish them. Dane painted our first Christmas tree ornament and I painted a tall mug for work with a fairy on it though I am not even close to finished, to see the fairy I am painting click here http://www.capricorn007.com/images2/fairy.gif
I am in my 4th week of psychology class. It is a good class. I have three weeks off after that then I start a history class on the US Constitution. 60 days off (during the holidays whoo hoo!) then I start a humanities class on the study of film right after Dane and I return from celebrating my 26th (OMG) b-day on Oahu. Then another couple weeks off and I'm back into my last 5 classes of accounting, graduating around Oct 06.
We are celebrating Dane's b-day this weekend with a housewarming party. Since we only know about 8 people they were all invited. Not sure who will show up but it will be a good time. I am considering taking him to a cabaret show (huge here in Seattle) but it is expensive!! We are also going to see the Seattle Symphony this Thursday for their version of Star Wars (Dane's pick). Rhi picked the Swing band Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, I picked Handel's Messiah, and as a bonus we are going to the Fabulous Forties. It's about time I got some culture and music in my life so I can't wait!
That is all to report. Sorry Sarah, I need to keep this updated more, thank you for encouraging me. BTW, I commented twice on your blog but I don't see my comments on there. Peculiar. Basically I was happy to hear Max had such a wonderful b-day and it warms my heart to hear of all the support you guys have surrounding you.
Blessings to all!
Monday, September 19, 2005
YAAARRRGGGHHH!!!
It be National Talk Like a Pirate Day!!! I had a great banter of emails w/ Amy all in pirate speak - too funny for words. In other news, I am stalling doing my homework. Actually there hasn't been much to "write home about" the last couple of days. No seal sightings, but I haven't really been down to the pier other than tonight. Dane and I walked along the shore and ate dinner on deck. Then we threw bread at birds and laughed at the commotion. Work is going well, I am in the middle of payroll for all my corps right now. It's backed up two weeks. It's not hard, just slow picking up on the details. I put my office together over the weekend, everyone loves it including me.
The cats are enjoying back yard recess right now while I play on the net - they are freaking out. And the spiders here are un-real. All in all I feel like I am on an extended vacation and I love it. So many new sites to see and places to go and I have to say that I love working in the city. I feel so much a part of the life and vibe that is Seattle. It's awesome working at the foot of the Space Needle next to the water - what a treat. Everytime I go for my afternoon walk I look up at the needle and smile. How lucky I am to be in a great city!!! I love my walks, I love my schedule (35 hour work week w/ mandatory 15 min. breaks and 1 hour lunch). I love the people I work with. I also love getting into a routine.
I am SO SO SO looking forward to this weekend! I am going to try to scalp NIN tickets this Friday, he is playing at the Key arena which is two blocks from where I work. Then Saturday we are going to the Crossroads Mall for Margurita (I know I spelled that wrong) Madness. All you can drink maguritas, all you can eat chips and salsa, and a painting lesson where you paint the glass you drink out of for $10!! Course it's a brilliant ploy to get people into this place where you can pick out another piece of ceremic whatever (cup, plate, vase, figurine, bowl) to paint. I am thinking I will do a bowl of some sort. Maybe an ashtray. Maybe a mug for work. But I think it will be fun. Dane wants something with four sides so he can paint each side through his drink progression. What fun stuff they have in this city!!! YEAH!!!
The cats are enjoying back yard recess right now while I play on the net - they are freaking out. And the spiders here are un-real. All in all I feel like I am on an extended vacation and I love it. So many new sites to see and places to go and I have to say that I love working in the city. I feel so much a part of the life and vibe that is Seattle. It's awesome working at the foot of the Space Needle next to the water - what a treat. Everytime I go for my afternoon walk I look up at the needle and smile. How lucky I am to be in a great city!!! I love my walks, I love my schedule (35 hour work week w/ mandatory 15 min. breaks and 1 hour lunch). I love the people I work with. I also love getting into a routine.
I am SO SO SO looking forward to this weekend! I am going to try to scalp NIN tickets this Friday, he is playing at the Key arena which is two blocks from where I work. Then Saturday we are going to the Crossroads Mall for Margurita (I know I spelled that wrong) Madness. All you can drink maguritas, all you can eat chips and salsa, and a painting lesson where you paint the glass you drink out of for $10!! Course it's a brilliant ploy to get people into this place where you can pick out another piece of ceremic whatever (cup, plate, vase, figurine, bowl) to paint. I am thinking I will do a bowl of some sort. Maybe an ashtray. Maybe a mug for work. But I think it will be fun. Dane wants something with four sides so he can paint each side through his drink progression. What fun stuff they have in this city!!! YEAH!!!
Thursday, September 15, 2005
I LOVE This City!!
Just a quick note to say that while on my brisk lunch walk by the Seattle Sound I saw a Harbor Seal!!! A real, live, WILD seal!!!! They are hanging around more cause the salmon are starting to come home.
I LOVE THIS CITY!!!!!
I LOVE THIS CITY!!!!!
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Mr. Man and John
So this is my most obscene blog ever. So my body knows where home is. And I can tell when I've started feeling at home in a place by one very important body function. Number two. Yes folks, as obscene as that is, it is the truth. Everytime I go home to my parents house I have to do it. It just comes out automatically and naturally. So take tonight for example, everything is fine - I used the facilities at school right before I got home, no big deal. The second I got home it was time. So I grabbed my laptop and went to my "office" at home.
Here's where Mr. Man comes in. Mr. Man is the name of our wireless connection and let me just say how much I love wireless!! I love that I can be on the john and the net. I love that I can be smoking on the patio and on the net. I love wireless internet. :)
As for the earlier situation (hate) I haven't thought much about it other than I know I was wrong and I know I said those things mostly because I was so angry and frustrated I didn't know what else to do. That doesn't make it okay - it just gives me a diving board for how and why I said the things I said and a means to avoid the same situation in the future. I will apologize tonight to Dane and admit how wrong I was but I anticipate the clean up on this will take a while and it should. In fact I probably did some permenant damage. I hate that I did that.
Here's where Mr. Man comes in. Mr. Man is the name of our wireless connection and let me just say how much I love wireless!! I love that I can be on the john and the net. I love that I can be smoking on the patio and on the net. I love wireless internet. :)
As for the earlier situation (hate) I haven't thought much about it other than I know I was wrong and I know I said those things mostly because I was so angry and frustrated I didn't know what else to do. That doesn't make it okay - it just gives me a diving board for how and why I said the things I said and a means to avoid the same situation in the future. I will apologize tonight to Dane and admit how wrong I was but I anticipate the clean up on this will take a while and it should. In fact I probably did some permenant damage. I hate that I did that.
Hate
Such a strong word. I used it this morning. I hate that I used it this morning. I hate that I felt powerless to control the word coming out of my mouth. I hate myself for what I did.
So there we were, talking about marriage and a life together on one side of the Mercer Island tunnel and by the time we got out we were SCREAMING at each other!! And all over Spy Ware (I *STILL* don't know what that is)!! I am admittedly grumpy in the mornings and on the drive home - I need quiet time. Decompression. Rhi understood this and respected it. Dane trys to talk to me. I get instantly irritated and act that way. I've tried telling him about "Quiet Time" but he thinks it's a joke. It's not a joke!! I really need there to be silence on the way to/from work. That might make me silly, but I am okay with that. So this morning we fought, half because I was irritated and half because Dane was expecting said irritation. When those two components met, it was an atomic explosion. I screamed and said nasty things and Dane screamed and said nasty things. Instead of being about Spy Ware, it was about responsibility, then commuting, then back to accountability, then to esteem issues. Finally I really exploded (yes, the screaming before was just gurglings of the coming eruption) I said, and I quote "I hate you. I hate that I hate you. I hate that I have to pretend with you. I hate that I came to this city for you. I hate that I am locked to you." Said in a quiet but very passionate voice - almost spitting out of my mouth. Then I was silent. And for the rest of the ride I was silent. Dane simply directed me to his office, then leaned over and kissed me goodbye saying "Well I still love you."
*sigh* No. *bawl* Then I was mad at the tears. Then I was mad at myself. Then my dad called and said Mt. Evans was dusted with snow last night. I have thought about this morning and what happened and what I think and feel. I am glad I don't have to go home till LATE tonight. I need time to think. I am sorry for what I said, but I am worried at the conviction with which I said it. I will write more as the thoughts develop, back to work for now.
So there we were, talking about marriage and a life together on one side of the Mercer Island tunnel and by the time we got out we were SCREAMING at each other!! And all over Spy Ware (I *STILL* don't know what that is)!! I am admittedly grumpy in the mornings and on the drive home - I need quiet time. Decompression. Rhi understood this and respected it. Dane trys to talk to me. I get instantly irritated and act that way. I've tried telling him about "Quiet Time" but he thinks it's a joke. It's not a joke!! I really need there to be silence on the way to/from work. That might make me silly, but I am okay with that. So this morning we fought, half because I was irritated and half because Dane was expecting said irritation. When those two components met, it was an atomic explosion. I screamed and said nasty things and Dane screamed and said nasty things. Instead of being about Spy Ware, it was about responsibility, then commuting, then back to accountability, then to esteem issues. Finally I really exploded (yes, the screaming before was just gurglings of the coming eruption) I said, and I quote "I hate you. I hate that I hate you. I hate that I have to pretend with you. I hate that I came to this city for you. I hate that I am locked to you." Said in a quiet but very passionate voice - almost spitting out of my mouth. Then I was silent. And for the rest of the ride I was silent. Dane simply directed me to his office, then leaned over and kissed me goodbye saying "Well I still love you."
*sigh* No. *bawl* Then I was mad at the tears. Then I was mad at myself. Then my dad called and said Mt. Evans was dusted with snow last night. I have thought about this morning and what happened and what I think and feel. I am glad I don't have to go home till LATE tonight. I need time to think. I am sorry for what I said, but I am worried at the conviction with which I said it. I will write more as the thoughts develop, back to work for now.
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Out of Communication
Well I am out of communication from now on during the day. I had to sign some pretty hefty IT contracts indicating that I will not be using the internet for any sort of personal use and that I could be fired on the spot if I am responsible or even the recipient of inappropriate material. Remember, I work for the Church of God now. TSA is not a nonprofit because of the wonderful work it does for the homeless, battered and abused men, women, and children, or the disaster relief it provides. It is a nonprofit because of its church designation. *sigh* This will take some getting used to. But overall TSA is a fantastic organization and this will be a great experience for me.
Well, it's 7:17 - time to go to work. I have a horrible ache in my neck and cannot move my head without moving my shoulders. I hope this subsides throughout the day. More later.
Well, it's 7:17 - time to go to work. I have a horrible ache in my neck and cannot move my head without moving my shoulders. I hope this subsides throughout the day. More later.
Monday, September 12, 2005
*yawn*
So it's the morning, I tried blogging last night but got the blue screen of death. This was at 12:46 when I was already troubled to get sleep, the laptop crashing was the final blow.
Well good for me. I got up with enough time to make some hazelnut coffee, run up and down the stairs 10 times (part of my new walking/exercise plan), shower, shit, & shave and still have time for breakfast. Maybe. It's 6:14 now and I want to leave between 7:15 and 7:30. It should be MORE than enough time to make it to work downtown by 8:15, but I don't want to be late on my first day. Dane and I intend to carpool as long as he is at WaMu and that will help the gas bill, time factor, and make for a fun drive into work everyday.
Ah...the coffee is done. Wish me luck on my first day. I'm scared as hell.
Well good for me. I got up with enough time to make some hazelnut coffee, run up and down the stairs 10 times (part of my new walking/exercise plan), shower, shit, & shave and still have time for breakfast. Maybe. It's 6:14 now and I want to leave between 7:15 and 7:30. It should be MORE than enough time to make it to work downtown by 8:15, but I don't want to be late on my first day. Dane and I intend to carpool as long as he is at WaMu and that will help the gas bill, time factor, and make for a fun drive into work everyday.
Ah...the coffee is done. Wish me luck on my first day. I'm scared as hell.
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
The Word
So many things to write! I shall create an index:
1) The Drive
2) The Talks
3) The Interview
4) The Trio
5) Friday Night on The Hill
6) Ikea
7) The Ghost
The Drive
The drive went extremely well. There wasn't even one single moment where I thought we might be in trouble, get in an accident, or lose control. We fueled any time the tank got near 1/4 full, spent about $600 in fuel all told though. The trucker and fast food got old fast, but it was only 3 days. In the end the truck was 24 feet and with Rhi's car attached - just shy of 40 feet. It was HUGE!! Even Dane was impressed that I got that beast up here with no issues.
The Talks
Rhi and I had some great talks during the trip when we would speak. I laugh because my mom thought for sure we would be fighting what with being "cooped up together for so long". Rhi and I laughed - we have been each other's siamese twins for the past year and a half, what's a 3 day road trip compared to that?! We couldn't talk alot #1) it would wake Dewey up and he would stress out, and #2) the diesel engine was so loud, we'd have to shout, but when we did talk, we discussed things like 10 things you'll miss, 10 things you'll look forward to, 1 year life plan/goals. It was interesting to say the least and always eye-opening no matter how well you think you know someone.
The Interview
Friday morning Rhi and I went to our interviews together to save time and gas money. I was interviewed by what Rhi called the "firing squad" who did just the opposite. After a 1 hour, 4 man interview and 30 min of testing, I was offered a job at Salvation Army before my test results even came back. I told SA that I would accept at 38,000/yr as even that would be a significant decrease in pay. Rebecca (my new boss) said she would call me back. And she did while Rhi was busy interviewing. She offered me the job at 36,000/year and I said I could not do that - was there anyway she could bump it up to 37,000? 1000 seems small in the grand scheme of things, but after a cross-country move, 1000 is huge. She called me back to say she had taken my request to the Chain of Command and would call me after lunch. I thanked her profusely, she could have just called back and said she couldn't do anything, but this gesture made me realize how much they wanted me and how eager I was to show them I was worth it. During lunch Rebecca called to offer me the position at 37,000/yr and I gladly accepted. In a year at my review I will also be graduating so I am in a position for a large raise. *crosses fingers* I am nervous but anxious for the new challenge!
The Trio
Rhi, Dane and I are back together and nothing could feel more natural. Dane and I test each other's wit's end and patience and Rhi is the buffer all the time, but it just feels right being back under one roof. You can tell that Rhi and I have grown closer and Dane is somewhat out of the loop, but that loop is quickly tightening and it won't be long before we are one happy circle again.
Friday Night on The Hill
Apparently the groovy cats call Capital Hill "The Hill" which actually makes more sense to me than Capital Hill seeing on how Seattle is NOT Washington's capital. Anyhow, after a day of interviews and sight-seeing at Pike Place Market, Rhi, Dane and I settled down for some brews and appetizers and decided to call Laura Rose. We picked her up and headed to The Hill to Clover Dunns, a typical Cap Hill type bar. We met some of her friends and after a couple cocktails headed to a karaoke bar down the street. Laura Rose did the best rendition of Britney Spears meets Goth that I have ever seen! She is such a great performer! Then Rhi and I sung a HORRIBLE version of Elvis' Suspicious Minds - I hope I never have to go back to that bar again, I wouldn't even know it's name or location. Then we hoped in a cab over to Vogue, a Goth club where we quickly decided it was time to go. We took LR home then drove back to Bellevue and time traveled to 9:47 am. Rhi went to get us food, but by the time she got back, we were well on our way to 9:47 am. She couldn't wake us up for nothing. All in all, it was a great "Welcome to Seattle!" for us.
Ikea
Dane and I spent $1600 at Ikea. But we needed a lot of stuff, we didn't have a dining room table, or any desk furniture as none of the furniture we brought would fit around the corner to the office area in our new house, plus a couple odds and ends. Ikea is HUGE. There is nothing like it in Denver that I can compare it to. It has TWO parking garages!! The walkway inside the warehouse/showrooms is one way so you have to go through the whole thing. It's insane but very fun and inexpensive. It makes Wal-Mart look like a day at the spa though. I hope I don't have to go back for a while.
The Ghost
We have a ghost. The first couple nights we kept hearing and having stuff in our room come crashing to the floor, but the more I think about it the more I think that it wasn't Dewey. And then last night while Rhi and Dane were in the master bedroom and I was in the TV room we heard a horrible crashing sound which we figured were the cats, when we all got to the kitchen there was no cat and no mess on the counter. We turned our heads and saw that the decorative cover that was placed over the bulb in the dining room fixture had fallen and shattered on the table. We wondered what could have caused that as NO cat could have gotten up there and loosened the screws. Dane tightened the screws on the other two covers then we sat there staring at the fixture pondering. As we did that, the second one started to shatter in front of us and we quickly turned out the lights and hit the deck. At the time we decided it was the heat of the bulbs. Later we realized they were only 75 watt bulbs and we had that light on all night the night we moved in with no issue. Then last night around 3:00 am I was woken from my sleep because I heard our hardwood floors squeaking, I was trying to think what could make that noise as the cats are too light to make the floors squeak when BAM!!! The sound of metal rods hitting the floor. I jumped out of my skin and startled Dane, he turned on the lights and everything was in place, nothing moved, and Dewey was under the chair away from the "scene of the crime". I asked Dane if he heard the squeaking and he said no, but grabbed his shotgun and surveyed the house to find nothing. I was scared spittless at this point that we very definitely have a ghost. Dane came back to bed and tried to make sense of it by saying it was Dewey and he bumped the lamp, but I said "That's fine, but how come he was under the chair and if he did hit the lamp that hard, the chimes sit right next to it, you can't hit the lamp without hitting the chimes..." Dane didn't say anything only cuddled me hard and kept me safe all night. It was hours before I felt comfortable enough to leave his grasp. Today Rhi said she was awoken by something, she doesn't know what, but whatever it was it stirred her too. She didn't think anything of it though cause she said Dane got up after that, she figured it was Dane making noise. Whatever it is, it has Rhi and I refusing to go to the basement.
So this week's agenda is to be lazy and get used to this town. Set up the office, do some homework, go to school, go tanning, get a pedicure/manicure, organize the linens, go shopping at Bed, Bath & Beyond, and just enjoy the week off.
1) The Drive
2) The Talks
3) The Interview
4) The Trio
5) Friday Night on The Hill
6) Ikea
7) The Ghost
The Drive
The drive went extremely well. There wasn't even one single moment where I thought we might be in trouble, get in an accident, or lose control. We fueled any time the tank got near 1/4 full, spent about $600 in fuel all told though. The trucker and fast food got old fast, but it was only 3 days. In the end the truck was 24 feet and with Rhi's car attached - just shy of 40 feet. It was HUGE!! Even Dane was impressed that I got that beast up here with no issues.
The Talks
Rhi and I had some great talks during the trip when we would speak. I laugh because my mom thought for sure we would be fighting what with being "cooped up together for so long". Rhi and I laughed - we have been each other's siamese twins for the past year and a half, what's a 3 day road trip compared to that?! We couldn't talk alot #1) it would wake Dewey up and he would stress out, and #2) the diesel engine was so loud, we'd have to shout, but when we did talk, we discussed things like 10 things you'll miss, 10 things you'll look forward to, 1 year life plan/goals. It was interesting to say the least and always eye-opening no matter how well you think you know someone.
The Interview
Friday morning Rhi and I went to our interviews together to save time and gas money. I was interviewed by what Rhi called the "firing squad" who did just the opposite. After a 1 hour, 4 man interview and 30 min of testing, I was offered a job at Salvation Army before my test results even came back. I told SA that I would accept at 38,000/yr as even that would be a significant decrease in pay. Rebecca (my new boss) said she would call me back. And she did while Rhi was busy interviewing. She offered me the job at 36,000/year and I said I could not do that - was there anyway she could bump it up to 37,000? 1000 seems small in the grand scheme of things, but after a cross-country move, 1000 is huge. She called me back to say she had taken my request to the Chain of Command and would call me after lunch. I thanked her profusely, she could have just called back and said she couldn't do anything, but this gesture made me realize how much they wanted me and how eager I was to show them I was worth it. During lunch Rebecca called to offer me the position at 37,000/yr and I gladly accepted. In a year at my review I will also be graduating so I am in a position for a large raise. *crosses fingers* I am nervous but anxious for the new challenge!
The Trio
Rhi, Dane and I are back together and nothing could feel more natural. Dane and I test each other's wit's end and patience and Rhi is the buffer all the time, but it just feels right being back under one roof. You can tell that Rhi and I have grown closer and Dane is somewhat out of the loop, but that loop is quickly tightening and it won't be long before we are one happy circle again.
Friday Night on The Hill
Apparently the groovy cats call Capital Hill "The Hill" which actually makes more sense to me than Capital Hill seeing on how Seattle is NOT Washington's capital. Anyhow, after a day of interviews and sight-seeing at Pike Place Market, Rhi, Dane and I settled down for some brews and appetizers and decided to call Laura Rose. We picked her up and headed to The Hill to Clover Dunns, a typical Cap Hill type bar. We met some of her friends and after a couple cocktails headed to a karaoke bar down the street. Laura Rose did the best rendition of Britney Spears meets Goth that I have ever seen! She is such a great performer! Then Rhi and I sung a HORRIBLE version of Elvis' Suspicious Minds - I hope I never have to go back to that bar again, I wouldn't even know it's name or location. Then we hoped in a cab over to Vogue, a Goth club where we quickly decided it was time to go. We took LR home then drove back to Bellevue and time traveled to 9:47 am. Rhi went to get us food, but by the time she got back, we were well on our way to 9:47 am. She couldn't wake us up for nothing. All in all, it was a great "Welcome to Seattle!" for us.
Ikea
Dane and I spent $1600 at Ikea. But we needed a lot of stuff, we didn't have a dining room table, or any desk furniture as none of the furniture we brought would fit around the corner to the office area in our new house, plus a couple odds and ends. Ikea is HUGE. There is nothing like it in Denver that I can compare it to. It has TWO parking garages!! The walkway inside the warehouse/showrooms is one way so you have to go through the whole thing. It's insane but very fun and inexpensive. It makes Wal-Mart look like a day at the spa though. I hope I don't have to go back for a while.
The Ghost
We have a ghost. The first couple nights we kept hearing and having stuff in our room come crashing to the floor, but the more I think about it the more I think that it wasn't Dewey. And then last night while Rhi and Dane were in the master bedroom and I was in the TV room we heard a horrible crashing sound which we figured were the cats, when we all got to the kitchen there was no cat and no mess on the counter. We turned our heads and saw that the decorative cover that was placed over the bulb in the dining room fixture had fallen and shattered on the table. We wondered what could have caused that as NO cat could have gotten up there and loosened the screws. Dane tightened the screws on the other two covers then we sat there staring at the fixture pondering. As we did that, the second one started to shatter in front of us and we quickly turned out the lights and hit the deck. At the time we decided it was the heat of the bulbs. Later we realized they were only 75 watt bulbs and we had that light on all night the night we moved in with no issue. Then last night around 3:00 am I was woken from my sleep because I heard our hardwood floors squeaking, I was trying to think what could make that noise as the cats are too light to make the floors squeak when BAM!!! The sound of metal rods hitting the floor. I jumped out of my skin and startled Dane, he turned on the lights and everything was in place, nothing moved, and Dewey was under the chair away from the "scene of the crime". I asked Dane if he heard the squeaking and he said no, but grabbed his shotgun and surveyed the house to find nothing. I was scared spittless at this point that we very definitely have a ghost. Dane came back to bed and tried to make sense of it by saying it was Dewey and he bumped the lamp, but I said "That's fine, but how come he was under the chair and if he did hit the lamp that hard, the chimes sit right next to it, you can't hit the lamp without hitting the chimes..." Dane didn't say anything only cuddled me hard and kept me safe all night. It was hours before I felt comfortable enough to leave his grasp. Today Rhi said she was awoken by something, she doesn't know what, but whatever it was it stirred her too. She didn't think anything of it though cause she said Dane got up after that, she figured it was Dane making noise. Whatever it is, it has Rhi and I refusing to go to the basement.
So this week's agenda is to be lazy and get used to this town. Set up the office, do some homework, go to school, go tanning, get a pedicure/manicure, organize the linens, go shopping at Bed, Bath & Beyond, and just enjoy the week off.
Friday, August 26, 2005
Goodbye Denver!
This will be my last blog entry from the fine state of Colorado. As I sit here listening to Yanni, looking out my BEAUTIFUL office window at the GORGEOUS Colorado mountains I am filled with too many emotions to be overwhelmed by one single feeling. I feel sadness, awe, happiness, stress, excitement, fear, nostalgia, pride, humility, a sense of awesome accomplishment dimmed by the thousands of things that I just never got around to doing in Denver. I fear what I don't know that I can even do in Seattle.
I find that with leaving Denver, I am very restless. I do not think we will stay in Seattle more than 5 years tops. Who knows where we will move to, but I have a couple cities on my list that I want to live in: San Francisco, Atlanta, Manhattan, *maybe* Chicago, *maybe* a Texan city, London, Cairo - the list goes on. But I have a feeling that I am on a fast track now. It has me reconsidering things like getting another bike and all this scnazzy furniture. Who knows where my life will take me, but overall the feeling I feel the most right now is that this first step is not only the first step on my own, in a different direction, but I feel it is my first step into a headlong sprint. And I love that.
So cheerio Denver! I have wonderful and not so wonderful memories of this place. All of which I am taking with me. Alas, it is time to shed this old, dry skin.
I find that with leaving Denver, I am very restless. I do not think we will stay in Seattle more than 5 years tops. Who knows where we will move to, but I have a couple cities on my list that I want to live in: San Francisco, Atlanta, Manhattan, *maybe* Chicago, *maybe* a Texan city, London, Cairo - the list goes on. But I have a feeling that I am on a fast track now. It has me reconsidering things like getting another bike and all this scnazzy furniture. Who knows where my life will take me, but overall the feeling I feel the most right now is that this first step is not only the first step on my own, in a different direction, but I feel it is my first step into a headlong sprint. And I love that.
So cheerio Denver! I have wonderful and not so wonderful memories of this place. All of which I am taking with me. Alas, it is time to shed this old, dry skin.
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Looking Back
Dane asked me yesterday what would I say to myself if given the opportunity to travel back in time to April having experienced the whole summer and the stress of moving primary locations. At first thought, and what I told Dane, is that I wouldn't have said much of anything other than "you were prepared for this". But as I got to thinking about things, I thought better of my short-sighted advice to myself and decided there would be a lot of things I would say to myself (shock of shocks, I know). What I would say to my April Self:
Intermediate Accounting - you psyched yourself out too much for this class, but it was a good thing. Your fears helped you study and find a study pattern that worked best for you. You have spent a good year preparing for these classes and you handled them well. It was good that Dane was gone during this time. It was good that you decided to take the classes in Colorado. You made the right decision staying here.
Acting out - you need to be prepared for weird emotions that you have never felt before and ones that kinda sneak up on you and show themselves in seemingly harmless, or fun, or pretty packages. While you were expecting "missing" Dane, you were not prepared for the impact of the decision you made in regards to the level of commitment with this man. Be prepared for confused, angry emotions surrounding the level of commitment and sacrifice on your end vs. the lack of ring or formal commitment on his end. Be prepared for harmful situations that seem fun at the time but might not be the best thing for you in the short and long term. Try not to treat this summer as a prolonged bachelorette party....
Moving - it is a lot of work to pack and move a house, even when you plan it the way you did. Things never work out the way they do on paper, you know this, but it is still good to have a plan. It is also good to leave a lot of extra time to get things done that might have been pushed to the side (again, you know this but I'd like to reiterate it). You will be tired in body and mind and unable to get a good night's rest during the last week, but this is normal. You will be tired of fast food. The kitties will act out. You will resent Dane for not being there. This is all normal and life WILL stabilize. It will NOT be like this forever, dear. Hang in there.
Work - you will suffer from short-timer's syndrome whether you admit to it or not. Your anger at how the company is managed and the way the nonprofit money is spent and how the employees are not rewarded will compound and you will run your mouth. I'm not going to say this is good or bad, I'm simply going to tell you that you will do it. You may wish to keep your mouth shut at times, others you may wish to shout from the roof top. Regardless, when you leave, your attitude towards the company will be known by most employees.
Dane - you still haven't learned how to handle love have you? Will you ever, I wonder? It seems that ever since Isis died you have shut people out - oh, don't get me wrong. You let people in, care for people, let them know you love them, but you haven't ever really let anyone "get" you. Perhaps this is fallout from Mike, though I know you never loved him. Maybe it is from letting yourself fall in love too quickly with the man that killed Isis. That is probably it, you are worried that once you let someone get to you like that, they will turn around and do something so autrocious you will never be able to forgive yourself for what you consider selfishness. So why would Dane be any different? He's not. In fact he's been the only candidate for your love since Isis died. You would think that after 3 full years you would budge. I wonder why you find it so necessary to constantly threaten him with a break up. Is that your own insecurities? Is it that you think you settle for Dane? I would suggest you spend these next couple months thinking about that. Think about what you want Dane to be vs. what you know he is. Think about what you desire more. Think about his efforts to change. Think about your need to improve. Rather than building a Plan B, think about polishing up your Plan A. It IS your first choice, after all. Perhaps you should consider letting Dane all the way in and if you lose him, then you can deal with that when that day comes rather than living every day with him as if it has already been ended. He is not your enemy, he is your number one resource and reason for not going off the deep end. You better recognize, Crystal.
Parents - for as much as you give your mom or your family shit for being "obligated" to attend family functions, you are sure going to miss them. And it won't be obvious till you realize how much you still depend on them to bail you out certain situations. You will miss your mom's stories and fits. You will miss your dad's advice and his gentle demeanor. You will miss your sister and her whole family. You will miss Ashley and Zach growing up. You will probably never be prepared for cutting the family ties.
Conclusion - you have so much ahead of you Crystal, but you are sometimes entirely too stubborn and cocky to realize it. You are so busy getting to the destination, you forget to process and learn from the journey. There were so many lessons you could have learned without the hardships this summer. There were so many times you could have gained from just slowing down. I hope in Seattle you will learn the value of relaxing and spending quality down time with the ones you love. You don't always have to be accomplishing something in order to feel accomplished. Good luck to you, deary, I fear you will need it for a long time coming.
Intermediate Accounting - you psyched yourself out too much for this class, but it was a good thing. Your fears helped you study and find a study pattern that worked best for you. You have spent a good year preparing for these classes and you handled them well. It was good that Dane was gone during this time. It was good that you decided to take the classes in Colorado. You made the right decision staying here.
Acting out - you need to be prepared for weird emotions that you have never felt before and ones that kinda sneak up on you and show themselves in seemingly harmless, or fun, or pretty packages. While you were expecting "missing" Dane, you were not prepared for the impact of the decision you made in regards to the level of commitment with this man. Be prepared for confused, angry emotions surrounding the level of commitment and sacrifice on your end vs. the lack of ring or formal commitment on his end. Be prepared for harmful situations that seem fun at the time but might not be the best thing for you in the short and long term. Try not to treat this summer as a prolonged bachelorette party....
Moving - it is a lot of work to pack and move a house, even when you plan it the way you did. Things never work out the way they do on paper, you know this, but it is still good to have a plan. It is also good to leave a lot of extra time to get things done that might have been pushed to the side (again, you know this but I'd like to reiterate it). You will be tired in body and mind and unable to get a good night's rest during the last week, but this is normal. You will be tired of fast food. The kitties will act out. You will resent Dane for not being there. This is all normal and life WILL stabilize. It will NOT be like this forever, dear. Hang in there.
Work - you will suffer from short-timer's syndrome whether you admit to it or not. Your anger at how the company is managed and the way the nonprofit money is spent and how the employees are not rewarded will compound and you will run your mouth. I'm not going to say this is good or bad, I'm simply going to tell you that you will do it. You may wish to keep your mouth shut at times, others you may wish to shout from the roof top. Regardless, when you leave, your attitude towards the company will be known by most employees.
Dane - you still haven't learned how to handle love have you? Will you ever, I wonder? It seems that ever since Isis died you have shut people out - oh, don't get me wrong. You let people in, care for people, let them know you love them, but you haven't ever really let anyone "get" you. Perhaps this is fallout from Mike, though I know you never loved him. Maybe it is from letting yourself fall in love too quickly with the man that killed Isis. That is probably it, you are worried that once you let someone get to you like that, they will turn around and do something so autrocious you will never be able to forgive yourself for what you consider selfishness. So why would Dane be any different? He's not. In fact he's been the only candidate for your love since Isis died. You would think that after 3 full years you would budge. I wonder why you find it so necessary to constantly threaten him with a break up. Is that your own insecurities? Is it that you think you settle for Dane? I would suggest you spend these next couple months thinking about that. Think about what you want Dane to be vs. what you know he is. Think about what you desire more. Think about his efforts to change. Think about your need to improve. Rather than building a Plan B, think about polishing up your Plan A. It IS your first choice, after all. Perhaps you should consider letting Dane all the way in and if you lose him, then you can deal with that when that day comes rather than living every day with him as if it has already been ended. He is not your enemy, he is your number one resource and reason for not going off the deep end. You better recognize, Crystal.
Parents - for as much as you give your mom or your family shit for being "obligated" to attend family functions, you are sure going to miss them. And it won't be obvious till you realize how much you still depend on them to bail you out certain situations. You will miss your mom's stories and fits. You will miss your dad's advice and his gentle demeanor. You will miss your sister and her whole family. You will miss Ashley and Zach growing up. You will probably never be prepared for cutting the family ties.
Conclusion - you have so much ahead of you Crystal, but you are sometimes entirely too stubborn and cocky to realize it. You are so busy getting to the destination, you forget to process and learn from the journey. There were so many lessons you could have learned without the hardships this summer. There were so many times you could have gained from just slowing down. I hope in Seattle you will learn the value of relaxing and spending quality down time with the ones you love. You don't always have to be accomplishing something in order to feel accomplished. Good luck to you, deary, I fear you will need it for a long time coming.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
As We Speak
I am on the 2nd interview with Salvation Army as we speak. Well, not yet - I am waiting for them to call....And then I will write more. I am trying so hard not to be nervous and just let it go - I think I am so nervous because I think I really want this job even though it is a significant pay cut and all the way downtown. But to have SA on my resume, and the job just sounds so challenging and wonderful. Okay, okay. Worse case scenario I don't get it. I've had numerous calls from temp agencies the last two days, so I will call them if I don't get hired on at SA, and who knows - maybe the Hopelink job is still available. A cursory check of Craigslist and their own website indicates that the job is still there. And that job pays more and is in Redmond. When I originally sent my resume out, the CFO emailed me back and asked what my timeframe was, I responded and have not heard back from her since, even after I emailed a second time. If I don't get the SA job, I will email her a third time and say that I noticed the job was still available, would she still be interested in a phone interview. For now, I am going to sit and look out my beautiful office window at the amazing Colorado scenery and take it all in and calm down. *deep breath* More in a moment....
UGH!!!! I take that back - the worst case scenario would be waiting for ANOTHER two weeks!!!! I have an in-person interview on 9/2 at 9:00. I said "Would it be too bold to ask where I rank among the candidates?" LONG PAUSE "Well, we are still in the interview process, but I'd say you rank quite highly." Me "Great, thank you so much for your time, I look forward to meeting you on September 2nd at 9:00 am." Them "Great, nice speaking with you too, Crystal, see you soon!"
ARGH!!! Well I am going to continue calling these other places that called me and set interviews up as well, but I will hold off on calling Hopelink till I actually arrive in Seattle. It is, afterall, still another 3.5 weeks before I can start work.
UGH!!!! I take that back - the worst case scenario would be waiting for ANOTHER two weeks!!!! I have an in-person interview on 9/2 at 9:00. I said "Would it be too bold to ask where I rank among the candidates?" LONG PAUSE "Well, we are still in the interview process, but I'd say you rank quite highly." Me "Great, thank you so much for your time, I look forward to meeting you on September 2nd at 9:00 am." Them "Great, nice speaking with you too, Crystal, see you soon!"
ARGH!!! Well I am going to continue calling these other places that called me and set interviews up as well, but I will hold off on calling Hopelink till I actually arrive in Seattle. It is, afterall, still another 3.5 weeks before I can start work.
Monday, August 15, 2005
Greater Things Than I
So there are greater forces at work here. Even more so than I thought possible. I've always been a firm believer that things happen for a reason, regardless of whether that reason is known or not. I will not get in to all the crazy details of the past week, but suffice it to say that the Universe was already preparing for decisions not yet made. There were bodies and events in motion long before we knew what the end result would be. To capitalize on a few events:
1) Randy offered on Tuesday to take my car on Friday to Seattle via the trailer that we are purchasing from him - took care of my car, our need for a trailer, and freed up the moving van from towing.
2) On Tuesday we were offered a house which would work wonders for our living situation with any guests. As it turned out, we opted out of that house in favor of a bigger house with a bigger lot for lots and lots of parking room.
There are other things going on as well, but all good things. I am confident that Rhi needs to get away from Denver in order to dispose of all her excess baggage and move on with Kate. I have no doubt Kate will be a good friend for her regardless of what happens in their relationship, but she realizes and encourages Rhi to make this move in order to mop her life up. I'm glad Rhi's going - for selfish reasons and because I know that it is the right thing for her.
I've never denied being selfish - no one can ever accuse me of that. I'd like to meet one person who is truly selfless - maybe Ghandi, Mother Theresa? I also want what is best for those around me and I truly believe that Dane and I can help Rhi the way she needs it. We've agreed to be harder on her (I know some would say that I am too hard on her - but what do they know about my relationship with Rhi behind closed doors, probably about the same amount as I know about their countless relationships) when it comes to finances and money so she can really get a grasp on her checkbook. Besides, we won't know anyone in Seattle, so the invitation to go out weekly won't be there.
So in all these rambles - I guess I just have to say that I am glad with how things are going. And I truly miss Dane. It's funny cause this whole summer I've been like "WHHHOOOO!!!!!" And now that I finally start to REALLY REALLY miss Dane, it's time to leave. So I'm like "Eh, I'll see him in two weeks. WWWHHHHOOOOOOO!!!" HAAH! Just kidding. I missed him a lot this weekend.
*raises cup* To Seattle AND BEYOOONNNDDD!!!!
1) Randy offered on Tuesday to take my car on Friday to Seattle via the trailer that we are purchasing from him - took care of my car, our need for a trailer, and freed up the moving van from towing.
2) On Tuesday we were offered a house which would work wonders for our living situation with any guests. As it turned out, we opted out of that house in favor of a bigger house with a bigger lot for lots and lots of parking room.
There are other things going on as well, but all good things. I am confident that Rhi needs to get away from Denver in order to dispose of all her excess baggage and move on with Kate. I have no doubt Kate will be a good friend for her regardless of what happens in their relationship, but she realizes and encourages Rhi to make this move in order to mop her life up. I'm glad Rhi's going - for selfish reasons and because I know that it is the right thing for her.
I've never denied being selfish - no one can ever accuse me of that. I'd like to meet one person who is truly selfless - maybe Ghandi, Mother Theresa? I also want what is best for those around me and I truly believe that Dane and I can help Rhi the way she needs it. We've agreed to be harder on her (I know some would say that I am too hard on her - but what do they know about my relationship with Rhi behind closed doors, probably about the same amount as I know about their countless relationships) when it comes to finances and money so she can really get a grasp on her checkbook. Besides, we won't know anyone in Seattle, so the invitation to go out weekly won't be there.
So in all these rambles - I guess I just have to say that I am glad with how things are going. And I truly miss Dane. It's funny cause this whole summer I've been like "WHHHOOOO!!!!!" And now that I finally start to REALLY REALLY miss Dane, it's time to leave. So I'm like "Eh, I'll see him in two weeks. WWWHHHHOOOOOOO!!!" HAAH! Just kidding. I missed him a lot this weekend.
*raises cup* To Seattle AND BEYOOONNNDDD!!!!
Monday, August 08, 2005
This Just In!
I haven't heard from the Salvation Army in over a week and a half so I think that they filled the position. I'm a little shocked that I haven't heard from them telling me that they filled it, but whatever. I thought since they were talking about flying me up there that I was at least in the finals. Whatever.
AND THEN I got a call this morning from Becca at The Salvation Army apologizing for not calling me back and asking if I could fly up for an interview. I said I was fairly booked over the next 3 weeks between meetings, packing, lunches, dinners, seminars, finals, and other stuff so we worked out a second phone interview with the Director of Finance and the Director of Human Resources. It's next Wednesday at 4:15. I have a feeling that they want me, but I'm still nervous and scared that the director's might not like me. We'll see.
AHHH, it will be so nice if I have a job when I get to Seattle, then when I take a week off - it will really be like a vacation. Well, if it was meant to be, it will happen.
AND THEN I got a call this morning from Becca at The Salvation Army apologizing for not calling me back and asking if I could fly up for an interview. I said I was fairly booked over the next 3 weeks between meetings, packing, lunches, dinners, seminars, finals, and other stuff so we worked out a second phone interview with the Director of Finance and the Director of Human Resources. It's next Wednesday at 4:15. I have a feeling that they want me, but I'm still nervous and scared that the director's might not like me. We'll see.
AHHH, it will be so nice if I have a job when I get to Seattle, then when I take a week off - it will really be like a vacation. Well, if it was meant to be, it will happen.
Out of the Frying Pan....
And into the fire! These last 3 weeks are going to FLY by!! I have so much to do!! The garage sale was a success, after I took my cut, paid for breakfast and 2 lunches for Rhi and I, and expenses, Dane and I pocketed over $300. Considering most of this stuff was given to us to begin with and/or we would have been happy donating it, I think $300 is not bad! Basically it will pay for the passage to Washington which includes gas, meals, and one stay at a hotel. I got the kitty sedatives, started packing the garage, sorted through throw away stuff and donation stuff - I'm on a roll!!
This weekend was fun yet exhausting, you would not believe how tiring it is to sit in the shade and sell stuff. Well, we were also moving stuff around, jumping up and down all over the place. On Friday it was nonstop from 6:30 am - 12:30 pm our longest break lasting 10 min and 48 seconds (I was on the phone w/ Dane the whole time, that's how I know). Saturday was really slow, I closed by noon. In the evening I joined Rhi for a hockey game Kate was playing in, MAN can she skate and play or what!! She was the cleaniest skater out there, very graceful. All the other skaters where tripping over themselves trying to keep up with her. Afterwards we went to D&B with some teammates. That was fun for a while, but I wanted something more upbeat, so we went to Croc's. Had time for one drink then went home. We stayed up for a while but I was exhausted and crashed out in my comfy bed. Rhi time traveled on the couch. Sunday was a completely useless day, spent entirely on the couch watching movies and reading (I am reading The Thorn Birds). I broke down and went grocery shopping - I am so sick of fast food, but frozen food isn't much better. :( I am packing up the kitchen next weekend, so the food I had to get had to be something that wouldn't dirty a dish.
*sigh* Life is moving fast around me. A girl is just lucky to keep up.
This weekend was fun yet exhausting, you would not believe how tiring it is to sit in the shade and sell stuff. Well, we were also moving stuff around, jumping up and down all over the place. On Friday it was nonstop from 6:30 am - 12:30 pm our longest break lasting 10 min and 48 seconds (I was on the phone w/ Dane the whole time, that's how I know). Saturday was really slow, I closed by noon. In the evening I joined Rhi for a hockey game Kate was playing in, MAN can she skate and play or what!! She was the cleaniest skater out there, very graceful. All the other skaters where tripping over themselves trying to keep up with her. Afterwards we went to D&B with some teammates. That was fun for a while, but I wanted something more upbeat, so we went to Croc's. Had time for one drink then went home. We stayed up for a while but I was exhausted and crashed out in my comfy bed. Rhi time traveled on the couch. Sunday was a completely useless day, spent entirely on the couch watching movies and reading (I am reading The Thorn Birds). I broke down and went grocery shopping - I am so sick of fast food, but frozen food isn't much better. :( I am packing up the kitchen next weekend, so the food I had to get had to be something that wouldn't dirty a dish.
*sigh* Life is moving fast around me. A girl is just lucky to keep up.
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Tick Tock Tick Tock
Time is moving slower than a pregnant snail. Now that I want to leave, things seem to be excruciating. I can't believe it is only the 2nd of August at the same time that I can't believe it IS the 2nd of August! In four weeks I will be driving to Tri-Cities, Washington. Wow.
I am so wishy washy. I think it's just my general age in life but also the events that I am working through. One second I don't want to go and I'm all confused, the very next second I'm all gung ho ready to go. I need to find the happy medium and just hang out there for the next 4 weeks. Enjoy my last moments in Colorado but positively look forward to my future in Washington. I've developed a list of things that I want to change about myself and habits I want to break somewhere between the Oregon and Washington borders.
1. I want more time with Dane and less time with acquaintances.
2. I want to eat healthier, I hope to find one of those Super Supper places in WA. http://www.suppersolutionsinc.com/
3. I want to wake up earlier and have more time for myself in the morning (actually eat breakfast at home, read the paper or a magazine, go for a walk)
4. I want to start going for evening walks with Dane
5. I want to cut back on spending and do my belly dance on tapes
6. I want to do yoga at least 3 times a week
7. I want to make my home a comfy place that I want to live in and come home to with decor and personal touches - I don't want it to be a mess or boring or anything like the Lameria house was.
8. I want to have more time for art, music, and dance.
Crap - this blog is tragically cut short due to my need to train the LOSER JOE!!!
I am so wishy washy. I think it's just my general age in life but also the events that I am working through. One second I don't want to go and I'm all confused, the very next second I'm all gung ho ready to go. I need to find the happy medium and just hang out there for the next 4 weeks. Enjoy my last moments in Colorado but positively look forward to my future in Washington. I've developed a list of things that I want to change about myself and habits I want to break somewhere between the Oregon and Washington borders.
1. I want more time with Dane and less time with acquaintances.
2. I want to eat healthier, I hope to find one of those Super Supper places in WA. http://www.suppersolutionsinc.com/
3. I want to wake up earlier and have more time for myself in the morning (actually eat breakfast at home, read the paper or a magazine, go for a walk)
4. I want to start going for evening walks with Dane
5. I want to cut back on spending and do my belly dance on tapes
6. I want to do yoga at least 3 times a week
7. I want to make my home a comfy place that I want to live in and come home to with decor and personal touches - I don't want it to be a mess or boring or anything like the Lameria house was.
8. I want to have more time for art, music, and dance.
Crap - this blog is tragically cut short due to my need to train the LOSER JOE!!!
Monday, August 01, 2005
Seattle or Bust Revisited!
I went back and looked at my April postings surrounding the initial idea to move to Seattle - as soon as we got the news, the waiting period, the offer, and since. And I thought I would revisit the FAQ's from April. I have decided to post both the original post and the revised post (in that order).
1. When will you leave?
Dane leaves for Seattle on April 24th. He will be back in Denver the end of May and *maybe* June (if we go to Jamaica/other). I will not leave till the end of September. I have school, work, rental lease, and other loose ends to tie up in Denver.
By now we all know that Dane has already left. My last day at the office will be August 26th, I am having a moving party August 28th, and I will leave with the truck, FXYLADY, 2 cats, and the Rhi on Monday morning, August 29th. Bon Voyage!
2. Does this mean I will never see Dane again?:
No. Friday, April 22nd, we are going to have a get-together to congratulate Dane on his job and see him off with warm hugs and wishes. Special guest appearances by Peck and (hopefully) Paula. The end of September will host the official going-away party for me and Dane.
At this point, Dane has already come and gone several times throughout the summer. We are not planning another visit for Dane nor are we having another going-away party, mine was July 15th.
3. What about the Luau?:
I am sorry, but the Luau is cancelled.
The luau was cancelled but we enjoyed a great luau at Randall and Shawndell's house in June.
4. Why are you moving to Seattle?:
Dane is moving because he was offered a great job opportunity complete with better pay, benefits, fringe benefits, better/bigger company, etc. I am moving because my options are: move with Dane or leave him. There is no question what I am choosing. I am excited to go to Seattle because I can learn the art of belly dance from the dazzling Delilah delightening and the lucious Laura Rose. :) Seattle is also bigger and has a bigger accounting community - for reasons I do not know. Seattle also has great universities for me to attend.
Dane is enjoying his great job and glad he made the move. So far he loves Seattle. I don't know if I will belly dance with Delilah live, I may just use her videos and occasionally attend workshops. I think I will be very picky about how I spend my free time and I would prefer to focus more energy on yoga. In the end though, I am moving to Seattle for a fresh start with Dane. I have a lot of baggage and weight on my "tree" in Colorado. Uprooting to a new place will give me the chance to shake the dead wood and branch off in new directions.
5. Is there a UOP in Seattle?:
Yes - there are 5 UOP locations for me to choose from. From there I will most likely attend Seattle University for my dual master's program.
While there are 5 UOP locations, there is only one location that teaches my program...on Saturdays...half online half on campus....But it will be okay. Since the accounting program there is 6 months behind me, I will fill September through March with 3 elective courses and a couple weeks off here and there. I will start my accounting program where I left off here on March 18 in a southern Seattle campus. From there I don't know what I will do, probably continue on with my Master's and get my CPA no later than 2010. After that I am still considering a law degree, however I don't feel that I will do it concurrently with my Master's in accounting.
6. Where will Dane live when he's in Seattle?:
Dane will reside in corporate housing until I come up in September. The house has high speed internet.
He still lives there but is currently house hunting for us.
7. Are you going to see Dane after he moves to Seattle? Will you be lonely?:
I will see Dane in May and June in Denver. I will probably fly up to Seattle to see him in July, August, and September so I can assume a job and help with the house hunting process. Yes, we will be extremely lonely and miss each other a lot, but we will both have a lot going on to keep us occupied. And there's always late night yahoo. :)
We have both been really lonely and confused and this has definitely taken a toll on us. I have been up to Seattle once, he has been to Denver twice, we went to Moab together, and had a rendez-vous in Portland. There has not been late night yahoo. There has been too much going on to keep us occupied.
8. How is Rhi handling this?:
Rhi is a trooper. She realizes this is a step Dane and I have to make and is supportive and helpful to the enth degree. She is considering her options at this time and will probably make more concrete decisions as the summer wears on. She is sad, but understands (better than I did at her age I might add) that this is a simple fact of life. We are all aware that distance in location does not mean there has to be a distance in friendship.
Rhi is still handling it well. We both feel that the relationship is not ready to be over yet, but we aren't sure what that means at this time. It will definitely be an adjustment for both of us to acclimate to life without each other, as we are both very dependent on each other in some ways, but we will persevere. It will be okay. I know we will always keep in touch.
9. Are you scared?:
I'm spooked outta my g*d-d*mned mind!! I have never cut the apron strings (so to speak). Although I have lived on my own for a while, I have never really been away from mommy and daddy and that will be a big adjustment for me to make. But I'm just as excited as I am scared.
I am still scared. But that comes and goes and now I tend to feel more excitement. Course that will change in another week so keep posted.
10. Will you have to rely on Dane?:
For what? No. Dane and I have always been both self-sufficient and each other's number one resource. I plan to have a job upon my arrival in Seattle. If not, then Dane and I will help each other out so that we realize the right path in the right time.
At this time, I will be paid through September which gives me the whole month of September without cutting into my savings to find a job. I have not heard back from Hopelink or Salvation Army so I assume that I did not get the job. Which is fine, I get the feeling that I have some worth while qualities and won't have any difficulty finding a job when the time is right. If nothing else, I have several contacts for temp work. To answer shortly - no, I will not be relying on Dane financially. For everything else though, he will be my #1 resource!
11. How do you feel about leaving C&C?:
I am very sad. Again, there was/is no question regarding my decision to follow Dane out to Seattle. Having said that, I am making certain concessions to be with him. Leaving an absolutely fabulous dream job is one of them. I have all the flexibility, benefits, mentoring, great pay, etc. that a 25 yr old could possibly want here. I love the people, I love the mission, I love what I do, I love my office, I love it. However, having said that - there is something to be said for being too comfortable and (as my friend Joe pointed out today) stagnant. He never stays at a job longer than 2 years and explained that he gets more experience that way, never gets bored or comfortable. I like that. I never planned on staying at C&C my whole career (thank you Paula) and as the beautiful Gwen Stefani would say "Whatchu waiting for? Take a chance, you stupid hoe. Take a chance cause you might grow."
If I wasn't already leaving, I would be leaving. I cannot believe what the powers that be are doing to such a formerly great nonprofit. They are raping the mission, depleting all funds, and ignoring the public outcry. Our employees have not received a raise in almost 2 years, many who were hired on at entry level have accepted promotions without pay increases and still work for their entry level pay. On the other hand, the company is so frivilous that they pay TWO CEO's a total of $210,000/year!!!!!! What they make individually is outrageous for a nonprofit our size let alone paying TWO PEOPLE that amount!! And one of the CEO's is completely unqualified!! No degree, no experience, she micro-manages, she belittles her employees. A horrible, horrible CEO. On top of that, I have climbed as far as I can here. My job no longer has any challenges, I can do it in my sleep. It's time to move on.
1. When will you leave?
Dane leaves for Seattle on April 24th. He will be back in Denver the end of May and *maybe* June (if we go to Jamaica/other). I will not leave till the end of September. I have school, work, rental lease, and other loose ends to tie up in Denver.
By now we all know that Dane has already left. My last day at the office will be August 26th, I am having a moving party August 28th, and I will leave with the truck, FXYLADY, 2 cats, and the Rhi on Monday morning, August 29th. Bon Voyage!
2. Does this mean I will never see Dane again?:
No. Friday, April 22nd, we are going to have a get-together to congratulate Dane on his job and see him off with warm hugs and wishes. Special guest appearances by Peck and (hopefully) Paula. The end of September will host the official going-away party for me and Dane.
At this point, Dane has already come and gone several times throughout the summer. We are not planning another visit for Dane nor are we having another going-away party, mine was July 15th.
3. What about the Luau?:
I am sorry, but the Luau is cancelled.
The luau was cancelled but we enjoyed a great luau at Randall and Shawndell's house in June.
4. Why are you moving to Seattle?:
Dane is moving because he was offered a great job opportunity complete with better pay, benefits, fringe benefits, better/bigger company, etc. I am moving because my options are: move with Dane or leave him. There is no question what I am choosing. I am excited to go to Seattle because I can learn the art of belly dance from the dazzling Delilah delightening and the lucious Laura Rose. :) Seattle is also bigger and has a bigger accounting community - for reasons I do not know. Seattle also has great universities for me to attend.
Dane is enjoying his great job and glad he made the move. So far he loves Seattle. I don't know if I will belly dance with Delilah live, I may just use her videos and occasionally attend workshops. I think I will be very picky about how I spend my free time and I would prefer to focus more energy on yoga. In the end though, I am moving to Seattle for a fresh start with Dane. I have a lot of baggage and weight on my "tree" in Colorado. Uprooting to a new place will give me the chance to shake the dead wood and branch off in new directions.
5. Is there a UOP in Seattle?:
Yes - there are 5 UOP locations for me to choose from. From there I will most likely attend Seattle University for my dual master's program.
While there are 5 UOP locations, there is only one location that teaches my program...on Saturdays...half online half on campus....But it will be okay. Since the accounting program there is 6 months behind me, I will fill September through March with 3 elective courses and a couple weeks off here and there. I will start my accounting program where I left off here on March 18 in a southern Seattle campus. From there I don't know what I will do, probably continue on with my Master's and get my CPA no later than 2010. After that I am still considering a law degree, however I don't feel that I will do it concurrently with my Master's in accounting.
6. Where will Dane live when he's in Seattle?:
Dane will reside in corporate housing until I come up in September. The house has high speed internet.
He still lives there but is currently house hunting for us.
7. Are you going to see Dane after he moves to Seattle? Will you be lonely?:
I will see Dane in May and June in Denver. I will probably fly up to Seattle to see him in July, August, and September so I can assume a job and help with the house hunting process. Yes, we will be extremely lonely and miss each other a lot, but we will both have a lot going on to keep us occupied. And there's always late night yahoo. :)
We have both been really lonely and confused and this has definitely taken a toll on us. I have been up to Seattle once, he has been to Denver twice, we went to Moab together, and had a rendez-vous in Portland. There has not been late night yahoo. There has been too much going on to keep us occupied.
8. How is Rhi handling this?:
Rhi is a trooper. She realizes this is a step Dane and I have to make and is supportive and helpful to the enth degree. She is considering her options at this time and will probably make more concrete decisions as the summer wears on. She is sad, but understands (better than I did at her age I might add) that this is a simple fact of life. We are all aware that distance in location does not mean there has to be a distance in friendship.
Rhi is still handling it well. We both feel that the relationship is not ready to be over yet, but we aren't sure what that means at this time. It will definitely be an adjustment for both of us to acclimate to life without each other, as we are both very dependent on each other in some ways, but we will persevere. It will be okay. I know we will always keep in touch.
9. Are you scared?:
I'm spooked outta my g*d-d*mned mind!! I have never cut the apron strings (so to speak). Although I have lived on my own for a while, I have never really been away from mommy and daddy and that will be a big adjustment for me to make. But I'm just as excited as I am scared.
I am still scared. But that comes and goes and now I tend to feel more excitement. Course that will change in another week so keep posted.
10. Will you have to rely on Dane?:
For what? No. Dane and I have always been both self-sufficient and each other's number one resource. I plan to have a job upon my arrival in Seattle. If not, then Dane and I will help each other out so that we realize the right path in the right time.
At this time, I will be paid through September which gives me the whole month of September without cutting into my savings to find a job. I have not heard back from Hopelink or Salvation Army so I assume that I did not get the job. Which is fine, I get the feeling that I have some worth while qualities and won't have any difficulty finding a job when the time is right. If nothing else, I have several contacts for temp work. To answer shortly - no, I will not be relying on Dane financially. For everything else though, he will be my #1 resource!
11. How do you feel about leaving C&C?:
I am very sad. Again, there was/is no question regarding my decision to follow Dane out to Seattle. Having said that, I am making certain concessions to be with him. Leaving an absolutely fabulous dream job is one of them. I have all the flexibility, benefits, mentoring, great pay, etc. that a 25 yr old could possibly want here. I love the people, I love the mission, I love what I do, I love my office, I love it. However, having said that - there is something to be said for being too comfortable and (as my friend Joe pointed out today) stagnant. He never stays at a job longer than 2 years and explained that he gets more experience that way, never gets bored or comfortable. I like that. I never planned on staying at C&C my whole career (thank you Paula) and as the beautiful Gwen Stefani would say "Whatchu waiting for? Take a chance, you stupid hoe. Take a chance cause you might grow."
If I wasn't already leaving, I would be leaving. I cannot believe what the powers that be are doing to such a formerly great nonprofit. They are raping the mission, depleting all funds, and ignoring the public outcry. Our employees have not received a raise in almost 2 years, many who were hired on at entry level have accepted promotions without pay increases and still work for their entry level pay. On the other hand, the company is so frivilous that they pay TWO CEO's a total of $210,000/year!!!!!! What they make individually is outrageous for a nonprofit our size let alone paying TWO PEOPLE that amount!! And one of the CEO's is completely unqualified!! No degree, no experience, she micro-manages, she belittles her employees. A horrible, horrible CEO. On top of that, I have climbed as far as I can here. My job no longer has any challenges, I can do it in my sleep. It's time to move on.
Ready...Set...GO!
I wish I could time travel to August 29th! This weekend was a lot of fun. We got a lot of work and play accomplished. Sam has started moving out, items that we don't want have made their way to the garage for sale. It's becoming physically obvious that Dane and I are moving. What has also become obvious is how I feel. I am ready to move. No longer confused, I am simply just waiting for time to pass. I'll explain further.
I've met a lot of new people in the past two months. Unfortunately I have been very confused during the last couple months and that presents a false image of not only who I am, but who I am with Dane. These wonderful people pick up on my fears and confusion and unwittingly perpetuate it - probing me for answers and justifications. Even people I have known for a while have second guessed my quest. All this and many other things have contributed to my craze. I have done an enormous amount of soul searching the last couple of weeks and have made immense progress - both over the course of two weekends and sometimes in a matter of two seconds. It boils down to the following: when Dane and I made the decision to go to Seattle (it was a joint effort for those who don't know or remember - I knew from the get go that the only way Dane would go is if I would, it sounded fun, I was ready for something different, and I would never stand in the way of this opportunity for Dane), we were in a stable, comfortable position. There was low drama in our life and the idea of a new, exciting city was irresistible. Understand, however, that that was over 4 months ago. We have been in limbo for a while. Had there only been 4 weeks between the decision and move, things might have been different - perhaps easier. Instead, we have had to deal with a myriad of emotions and hardships that even under normal circumstances would cause difficulties. Dane and I are away from each other, I am moving for the FIRST time in my life - I am a Denver native. Digging up my deep, deep roots and putting them in new soil is scary! I am in the middle of INTENSE accounting classes with an overwhelming amount of homework and material to cover. I am training my replacement at work - a task that I am almost ill prepared for. I have not had the time to do the things I love like yoga and belly dance. All these things have contributed to the unstability I feel in my life. Add a cute guy on that and you've got one freaked out chick. And understandably so.
It's taken 2 weeks and lots of rooting around for the causes of my confusion and anxiety, but I have discovered them as well as my conclusion. When my life was stable and I was in a calm atmosphere, I made a decision to move to Seattle. And no matter how scary it is, I know in my heart of hearts that it is the right move for me. Making a decision to stay in Denver just because of fear would be rash and possibly lead to even more heartache and confusion. Once I realized this, my fear literally evaporated and the anxiety was overcome with excitement to leave Denver and join my partner for my new life in Seattle.
I've met a lot of new people in the past two months. Unfortunately I have been very confused during the last couple months and that presents a false image of not only who I am, but who I am with Dane. These wonderful people pick up on my fears and confusion and unwittingly perpetuate it - probing me for answers and justifications. Even people I have known for a while have second guessed my quest. All this and many other things have contributed to my craze. I have done an enormous amount of soul searching the last couple of weeks and have made immense progress - both over the course of two weekends and sometimes in a matter of two seconds. It boils down to the following: when Dane and I made the decision to go to Seattle (it was a joint effort for those who don't know or remember - I knew from the get go that the only way Dane would go is if I would, it sounded fun, I was ready for something different, and I would never stand in the way of this opportunity for Dane), we were in a stable, comfortable position. There was low drama in our life and the idea of a new, exciting city was irresistible. Understand, however, that that was over 4 months ago. We have been in limbo for a while. Had there only been 4 weeks between the decision and move, things might have been different - perhaps easier. Instead, we have had to deal with a myriad of emotions and hardships that even under normal circumstances would cause difficulties. Dane and I are away from each other, I am moving for the FIRST time in my life - I am a Denver native. Digging up my deep, deep roots and putting them in new soil is scary! I am in the middle of INTENSE accounting classes with an overwhelming amount of homework and material to cover. I am training my replacement at work - a task that I am almost ill prepared for. I have not had the time to do the things I love like yoga and belly dance. All these things have contributed to the unstability I feel in my life. Add a cute guy on that and you've got one freaked out chick. And understandably so.
It's taken 2 weeks and lots of rooting around for the causes of my confusion and anxiety, but I have discovered them as well as my conclusion. When my life was stable and I was in a calm atmosphere, I made a decision to move to Seattle. And no matter how scary it is, I know in my heart of hearts that it is the right move for me. Making a decision to stay in Denver just because of fear would be rash and possibly lead to even more heartache and confusion. Once I realized this, my fear literally evaporated and the anxiety was overcome with excitement to leave Denver and join my partner for my new life in Seattle.
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Time Travel
Peck is in town. Really the blog would be complete with that first sentence, but for story's sake I'll divulge.
So I met with Rhi at Lodo's and we quietly drank a beer waiting for Peck, Amy, and Dee to show up. They showed up one by one during the second beer and we sat and chatted, caught up, played music trivia, and heckled the Time Warner employees from all over the states: Memphis, Orlando, Atlanta, Manhattan, Santa Barbara, Orange County, Portland, and a few others. Before I knew what happened, we were toasted!! Dancing, talking to everyone at the bar, play fighting, text messaging Dane in incomplete thoughts and sentences. It was a great time!!! I got home around 1 I think and immediately passed out on the lawn. After bugs started crawling up my legs I decided to muster up all my strength and sobriety and make it up to my room or inside at least. I staggered up the stairs and crashed into poor Sam's door, waking him up. I passed out there for a while, Sam came out and was like "Wow. On a Wednesday?" I finally made it to my room and that was it. Dee and Peck came over soon after that and Dee helped me take off my jewelry and jacket and put a cold cloth on my head. She was going to put me in the bed, but we all stopped her from making that mistake. That's the last thing I remember. I time traveled to 7:30 am and then jumped into bed and slept till 10 arriving at work at 11:45.
In other news, it sounds like I have a real shot at the Salvation Army job - I will post more as the information comes in.
Note to self: do not forget to pick up Dane tonight. YEAH!!
So I met with Rhi at Lodo's and we quietly drank a beer waiting for Peck, Amy, and Dee to show up. They showed up one by one during the second beer and we sat and chatted, caught up, played music trivia, and heckled the Time Warner employees from all over the states: Memphis, Orlando, Atlanta, Manhattan, Santa Barbara, Orange County, Portland, and a few others. Before I knew what happened, we were toasted!! Dancing, talking to everyone at the bar, play fighting, text messaging Dane in incomplete thoughts and sentences. It was a great time!!! I got home around 1 I think and immediately passed out on the lawn. After bugs started crawling up my legs I decided to muster up all my strength and sobriety and make it up to my room or inside at least. I staggered up the stairs and crashed into poor Sam's door, waking him up. I passed out there for a while, Sam came out and was like "Wow. On a Wednesday?" I finally made it to my room and that was it. Dee and Peck came over soon after that and Dee helped me take off my jewelry and jacket and put a cold cloth on my head. She was going to put me in the bed, but we all stopped her from making that mistake. That's the last thing I remember. I time traveled to 7:30 am and then jumped into bed and slept till 10 arriving at work at 11:45.
In other news, it sounds like I have a real shot at the Salvation Army job - I will post more as the information comes in.
Note to self: do not forget to pick up Dane tonight. YEAH!!
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