It's The Final Countdown!!!

Indeed - I AM going to Europe. I AM going to AMsterdAM. WHOOT WHOOT!!!

So I'm not sure if I'll get a chance to blog the next day or so. My spare time will be spent doing laundry, tanning, packing for AMS, and doing my homework. I might occasionally do some work too. Oh, and I have to go to the bank, get some euros and traveler's checks, get my ring, get a placebo ring (or maybe I'll just go sans the ring and enjoy one last trip o freedom....kidding).

While I'm gone: HG and MR will be coming over on Sunday to watch the cats. And actually HG, Nick is leaving on Friday, so y'all could even come over sooner, but it's not necessary. Anyhoot - Dane is leaving tomorrow for some sand dunes in Oregon and he'll be gone till Tuesday. Should anything happen to him, people know to call HG and my mom to contact me. Should something happen to me, people will call HG and my mom and they will leave a message for him. So the house is cared for, the kids are cared for, Dane is cared for, and I'll be having a blast!

The agenda:

Friday - travel, travel, travel. Actually my assistant is picking me up from home in the morning and then we will go to work till about noon. Then we'll go to lunch then she's going to drop me off. My flight leaves Seattle at 3:30, lands in Vancouver at 4:20 (I know, huh - wtf, actually it was a great price - GO AMY!). Then I leave Vancouver at 6:30. With any luck I can hang out on the plane, read a magazine, listen to iPod, watch a movie, eat dinner, then take a sleepy pill around what I feel is 10:00. Pass the toot out on the plane and wake up in AMS around noon *hopefully* feeling like I had a nice rest.

Saturday - meet Mimi at the Booger Fling (it was the most American, homey place we could find in Shipol Airport). Maybe get a museum card and shuttle ticket or find some way to get to our hotel. Arrive at hotel and get comfy and chatter. In the evening: big night out on the town, who knows what we will do but it's our only weekend night so whatever we do, we'll go large cause we can't go home!

Sunday - recover, chatter, find a cafe *wink*, hang out around town. Low-key party in the evening.

Monday - AMY'S BIRFFDAY!!! I have a few ideas and sooprises in store.....

Tuesday - Thursday - more of the same, hang out around town, visit some shops, ride a bike, heckle a hussie, go to a museum, visit a cafe, run naked across the bridge in a flying nun dutch hat, go to Heineken, find a goth club, drink a beer, spend money we don't have, and go to a nice restaurant.

Friday - travel all day again, leaving AMS at 3:30 pm arriving in Seattle just before 9 pm.

I'm already planning on ditching class, but who knows - maybe I'll go. Regardless of whether I go to class or not, I'll have to work. But that may be pushing it. We'll see how I feel. I have a 3:00 date on Sunday, 6/3 to go bowling in my pajamas for a work fundraiser. Maybe I can work a half day on Sat and again on Sun. We'll see. I don't want to push it and there will be plenty of time to make up time.

I have to work again on 6/9 (plus go to a 3-Day expo and have a make up/costume weekend with HG). Then there's the Fremont Parade. Then the weekend in Portland with my CT buddies. Then the wedding. THEN A SHITLOAD OF DOING NOTHING!!

That's it - after the wedding I'm laying low for a while, *maybe* a night out, *maybe* a movie. *maybe*

Wedding drama - as of yesterday I was told that my dress wasn't going to be here on time. After attempting to hang myself with the phone cord, seriously contemplating a pirate-themed wedding, then sleeping on it I discovered today that all is right with the world and my dress will be here (but only within hours of my departure to Mexico). Be that as it may, I'm going to shop for a back up dress. Which may or may not be pirate-themed.

Out.

I'm Tapping Out

I've done it. I've reached the limit for what I can handle. Over the years people have oft noted that I tend to stay busy and I like it that way. Most people would say that I have a lot on my plate, more than they would ever want to deal with at any given point in time. I've grown used to it albeit it's how I run my ship. But today I've realized that I have hit my limit. I'm tapping out. It's too much. The towel has been thrown. The fat lady has sung. The sun has set. My ship has sailed. Out.

The following list details everything that is going on in my life right now as of May 16th, 2007 at 10:55 pm.

Work

1. I've only been there two months so I'm still learning about the organization.
2. I'm still in the infant stage of understanding the financial software.
3. I'm preparing the budgets and leading the budget process for the entire organization.
4. I'm trying to wrap up April closing.
5. I have a report on April closing, Holiday Magic, and the auditors to present to the financial committee tomorrow.
6. I have to compile the 990.
7. I have to reconcile the balance sheet accounts.
8. I have to reconcile pledges.
9. I have to update and organize the W9's.
10. I have to create a policy and procedure manual.
11. Plus about a million other things like update the payroll spreadsheet, update the software for view only users and create their dashboards (it's not even worth explaining), meetings, phone calls, prepare for the audit, prepare for my time off, and of course the daily duties and activities not to mention month end shit.

Oh, and this needs to be done by next week. (yeah f*cking right) At least I get to work the next 3 Saturdays that I'm in town.

School
1. I have my usual reading, posting, and homework to do as I'm trying to earn a Master's degree.
2. On campus class on 6/2 (which I will most likely ditch).

Body
1. Workout for at least an hour.
2. Tan.
3. Laser hair removal.
4. Laser tattoo removal.
5. Surgery check ups.
6. IUD/abnormal pap check ups.
7. Hair color.
8. Eyebrow and lip tattoos.
9. Manicure/pedicure.
10. Get a massage (if I'm lucky).
11. Buy tampons (something I haven't had to do in five years).
12. Lose 10 lbs. in 6 weeks.

Wedding (let's not forget about that)
1. Plan the ceremony including the script and how/what will be said/done.
2. Get my dress tailored.
3. Get Dane's outfit.
4. Organize the rooms at the resort.
5. Organize the fun stuff surrounding the wedding.
6. Figure out when to go to the Mexican judge.
7. Figure out when to use the spa/hair styling services for the day of the wedding.
8. Figure out the final counts.
9. Figure out shuttle arrangements.
10. Take out massive loans from my credit card companies in order to pay this.
11. Get my ring fixed/made into a wedding band. Pick up Dane's ring.

Mind/Soul/House Stuff
1. Code all my finances and plan timing so I can take out the loans at the best time.
2. Figure out why UOP has charged me for school (another $1000) instead of my financial aid.
3. Figure out how to tackle the problems with Dane.
4. Laundry.
5. Feed the cats.
6. Order my food to be delivered.
7. Dishes.
8. Check email.
9. Blog.
10. Spring clean.
11. Donate clothes that I don't fit into and/or look good in anymore (as my shape has quite dramatically changed).
12. Call mom and dad.
13. Maintain contact with Peck, Amy, Sarah, and all my other out of state buddies.

Social (this is where it really gets out of control)
1. Prepare, practice for the parade (every Wednesday till June 16th).
2. Go to a movie Friday.
3. Go to a b-day party Saturday, along with work 8 hours, along with a costume class for the parade.
4. Train for the triathlon and 3-Day coming up (this is also "body" I guess).
5. Volunteer/participate for work on the following dates: 6/2 In The Mood, 6/3 Pajama Bowl, 6/7 Passages, 8/4 Back To School Festival.
6. Practice, participate in work-sponsored kickball (Mondays).
7. Go to Amsterdam 5/25 - 6/1.
8. Go to Portland 6/22 - 6/24.
9. Celebrate HG's b-ay by going to the spa 6/24 (I don't want to miss this or the spa's fried rice).
10. Go to Mexico to get married 6/29 - 7/10.
11. Shop for clothes and such for aforementioned events.
12. Raise $2200 for the Breast Cancer 3-Day.
13. Breast Cancer 3-Day expo, focus meeting training, and possible (and much needed) fundraiser.


As you can see my summer is pretty much spoken for already. Things wont stop for me until the fall, but at least little by little stuff will fall of my plate. And of course this is all on top of day-to-day activities and errands (grocery shopping, going to the bank, getting gas, eating, sleeping, paying bills, lamenting no money, playing with the cats, giving attention to Dane). You'll note that poor Dane was barely even mentioned in the above and that's quite literally because we don't have time to see each other and when we do, we fight because we are both so overloaded and overwhelmed we need to release and the only thing we can think to do is yell at each other for the stuff they don't do and the areas they are in deficit. *sigh* That's what put me over the edge. Dane pinned his troubles on me and that's when I said "I can't do this. I'm done." I can't deal with all the above AND his problems on top of that. I haven't even had a chance to breathe for myself let alone anyone else. I'm afraid that before I know it, everything will have passed me by and I won't have even noticed because I was so tied up in it all. When all the dust finally settles, what will I have to show for it? I hope more than a tattered marriage, a few photos, and huge pile of debt, that's for sure.

Anyway - so if I seem snotty or short or impatient or simply out of my mind, please do not take it personal. It has nothing to do with you, I'm quite exquisitely maxed out. If nothing else, I'll have an amazing story to tell ya when this is all said and done.

And for the record - as of October, I'm done with packing my schedule so much (I know I've said that before, but this time I really, really, really mean it). I'll have another break in school and I'll be vacationing to Colorado. The fiscal year will be closed and I will be starting the audit process so there will quite literally be nothing I can do other than that for a while. And then, when that's done....I'm going to party like it's 1999.

LOSER!

I don't like my teacher very much right now. To be blunt, he's a piece of shit. He's always asking oddly phrased questions then marking us down or condescendingly speaking to us for not "getting the point", "diving deeper", and "thinking outside the box". Then when you do those things on the next question he asks, he hammers you for not "following the directions", "reading what was obvious", and "focusing on the weekly reading and concepts".

Further more, none of my classmates (save HG) ever respond to anything I post so it's difficult to get participation. It's like they go out of their way to respond to other people and not me. I don't think I'm being particularly snotty, I dunno - maybe HG can shed some light.

The bottom line is I hate this class and this teacher, which really sucks because I think this class has some good stuff to offer. I was originally planning on going to class on 6/2 but now I think I'll just stay home and rest up from my trip to AMS. We have no team homework or presentation and I will submit my individual homework before I leave. Plus HG wont be there and I hate the assholes (except my teammates) that I'm in class with so why even bother going. I'm so ready for a break. Thank God it is happening soon. After this and next week I will be out of school till after the wedding which is awesome because between the parade, the wedding, going to PDX, work (budgets, monthend, planning for my absence, etc) and just getting everything in order I will be running around like a mad woman.

To make matters worse, Dane hates me cause I can't say why (there are some of my subscribers that would die if I really wrote out what's bothering us). Between all the surgeries (his and mine), all the weight gain and loss, and just everything that is going on we haven't been on the same page. There's actually a lot more to the story than that. If you want to know, shoot me an email - maybe you can help me.

In other news, I've created a blog dedicated to my cats. They are so d@mn cute I had to create a blog just for showcasing pictures of how adorable they are. Here's the link: http://deweyboostinker.blogspot.com/

The Finished Product

Most of the scabs are gone from my brows and my lips are healed over. I still have another lip session though to fill in the blanks and make sure everything looks good after my Restylne.

Cause I Love My Lips

So while I was lying on the table today getting my eyebrow tattoos touched up and my lips done for the first time, I did a rough estimate of how much money I've put into fixing myself up the past year. Between the laser tattoo removal, laser hair removal, surgies, hair cut and coloring, permenant make-up, Restalyne, tanning, pedi/mani/wax, teeth whitening, eyelash help, gym membership, and personal trainer I will have spent about $30,000. Can you believe that. I can't. That's a new car. That's a down payment on a house. That's are whole wedding and honeymoon. That's half a year's salary. GROSS! That's a lot of stuff. I will say that I'm happy with the decisions I've made. Of course the money could have gone to a million other things but I have to say that I have enjoyed using the wedding as an excuse to lavishly spend on myself. Now that all these things have been done only moderate maintenance will be necessary for upkeep so I can somewhat capitalize the expense. Not to mention what it has done for me on a personal note. I'm very lucky....wait, scratch that. I feel very sad for the women out there who are married to men who would not support their decisions to do some or all of the procedures I've done. When it comes down to it, it's my money and I've been able to afford all this AND still pay off my credit cards each month. I haven't been able to save much for the wedding, but we've been staggering the costs and paying most of them off each month. That said, I can afford the stuff I've done, it's my money, and Dane has had no qualms with my decisions. I see the look in other people's eyes though when I talk about what I've done or admit that it hasn't been inexpensive and the look I get is troubling to say the least. I don't get it from everyone, thank God, but I have to wonder about the looks I do get. Ultimately this is my life. I am not harming anyone, I am not putting pressure on anyone, I am paying for everything myself - why shouldn't I do it? Why do I get the stink eye? Who knows. And quite honestly who cares. I do more than my fair share to help others, volunteer, and pull my own weight. I got a little side-tracked there. Perhaps I needed to convince myself more than anyone else that I am deserving. I wonder why we are all our own worst critics? Why is it such an internal battle to justify a frivilous activity? Well I for one aim to squash that attitude starting now!

:-)

Check it out:

This is the picture that started it all. Obviously I knew I needed to get my brows touched up and had been waffling back and forth on my lips. This picture sent me over the edge. We were at the tulip gardens in northern Washington and what would otherwise be a great picture was ruined by my lack of lips.

A better example:

Notice I have no lips?

The solution:



TA DA!!! I have lips! Now keep in mind this pic is hours after the tattooing so it will fade at least 50%. Which is almost sad, I kinda like how dark the lips are. :-)

My 200th Post!!

So this is apparently my 200th post according to Blogger. Sadly, I don't have any news to share that is deserving of such an occasion.


This past weekend was a hoot! Friday after work I attempted to go get another piercing but alas my body isn't set up for the type of piercing I wanted. Any other piercings that I want to do will have to wait till after we get back from Mexico because they take so long to heal. So after that disappointment we met up with HG, RBMBA and crew at a bar for dinner and drinks. We ended up having a really good time! Nothing special, just good food, drinks, and fun. We learned a new game from MR called "Edward Fortyhands". For the game you have two 40's strapped/taped to your hands and you have to drink both 40's before a certain time limit (flexible). The catch is you can't go to the bathroom, you can't do anything that requires the use of your hands till you drink BOTH 40's. So HG and I decided to train for this game (whenever we play it). We got a pitcher and started out with 2 pints each. HG won (though not by much). Needless to say, Dane and I stayed at HG's house but on the way home we stopped at Safeway to get the essentials: more beer, chips, salsa, etc. On the way into Safeway, I happened across a shopping cart that needed to be taken back up to the store. I say back up because the parking garage is underneath the building so you have to take an elevator to the actual store. At any rate, I jumped in the cart and made Dane give me a shopping cart ride through the garage, in the elevator and out into the store. Good times. But it gets better than that - after our purchases were made, we convinced HG and MR to go for shopping cart rides. We had a race but the dudes won because Dane's heels were shorter than mine. Stoopid shoes. After the race we went back to the house. HG and I had a "special" time talking in her room. I was all happy and giddy and bouncing on her exercise ball and she was fretting thinking I was surely going to crack my head on the dresser or something. After another two beers it was definitely time for bed for me. I crawled to the couch and time traveled to 6:36 am.


Saturday HG and I were up and at em early in the am for my hair appointment. We got breakfast then I got some more highlights while HG patiently waited. Then we went shopping at Old Navy, Victoria's Secret, Claire's, and Hot Topic. Believe it or not all that took about 3 hours. By the time I dropped HG off I was tired and fussy. I immediately went home for a nap and was this [ ] close to canceling our Saturday plans but Dane said he really wanted to go. So I put on some of my new clothes and we headed out the door. We met Angela and her fiance Mark (they are getting married in Cancun in November) and their friends for dinner at their house. It was Mediterranean themed so there was all sorts of good food and wine there. It was fun talking to everyone and learning about what they do and how they live. I was ready to call it quits at 10:30 when I ended up driving one of the gals to her friend's house to get some stuff (she was too tipsy to drive). I don't know if it was the drive or what but I got my second wind after that. We decided to go to a dive bar around 11:30 and closed the place down. I wasn't ready for bed yet so we went BACK to their house and talked, drank, and hung out. It wasn't till the sky started getting lighter that I realized it was 5:30 and definitely time to go home. Dane and I got home around 6 and laughed because we can't remember the last time we stayed out that late.

Sunday we slept in and then dedicated the whole day to watching movies. We watched De Ja Vu (great flick) and Babel (profound movie) and Borat. I just can't get enough of Borat. Eeesa verry niice.

I don't feel so bad about being lazy because on Friday afternoon I spent 3 hours clearing ivy out of a public park as part of a volunteer job for work. It was great exercise and I'm STILL sore but it felt good to do all that tactical work. Made me wish I had a part time manual labor job and part time desk job. :-)

I got a weave on Saturday. Check it out:




Pretty cute eh? It took me 2 mintues to do this look. I put my wet, freshly showered hair in a bun, put the weave around it, snapped on the headband/sash and I was out the door. FABU!

Prince Albert

Dane wont get a prince albert. *sigh* I guess he's not really a PA guy but still.

So not much has been going on in da hood (whatcha gonna do when I bend da blawk!). Work has been going well, school has been going well, the wedding details are coming together, I'm getting out and doing more stuff with people (like kickball, wine and dine at friends' houses, dinner and drinks). I haven't been working out as much as I'd like but I'm still doing it. This next week I will jump back in the saddle hard core.

Upcoming: going to get my hair did, traing for the 3Day, hanging out with friends, homework, getting work done on my lips and brows for the wedding, going back for more laser junk appointments, that's about it. Oh - going to Portland again in May.

Gearing up for the Amsterdam trip - I cannot wait for that on so many levels. Obviously the fun factor of being in a town like that with Amazing Amy, but also just the girly aspect. I can't wait to sit at a local coffee shop and just chat with her. We can talk for days and probably will since we haven't really seen each other much. We used to meet on a weekly basis over pasta and rum and just shoot the shit. I really, really, REALLY miss that. *sigh* So needless to say I'm counting the days till we meet. And I wont have any school at all (it's a bye week) so I wont have to bring my laptop or worry about getting homework done - how nice is that!! I will need to think about my luggage situation though, I don't want to be "lugging" around all sorts of rolly suitcases and what not.

The parade will be here soon. More on that as the details come in.

Cinco de Mayo should be fun, I'm looking forward to that.

What else...not much. I will post soon about MySpace and all the goings on there - some weird stuff, man.

My (not) Awesomeness!

As said in a Borat voice.

So I didn't mean to blog, I actually meant to look at others but my hand/mouse drifted here and here I am. So a meaningless blog will probably ensue.

In a bout of cleverness I issued an unbalanced balance sheet to the Finance Committee. Awesome. That's like a total newb mistake!! You ALWAYS check your figures. Alas I didn't, I got too cocky and good for myself to double check. D'oh - if I had a dollar for everytime I've learned that lesson, I wouldn't have to work anymore. :-)

However, I have been making a good mark here at the office despite my efforts to otherwise thrash my outstanding reputation. A kudos from the Executive Director:

"I tried to catch you in person yesterday. I want to thank you for your “can do” attitude, your promptness and thoroughness in handling this issue. You are earning a lot of confidence from folks from the way you are working, responding and sharing information. Great work! Janis"

Go me! In true accounting fashion, I have cleared out my "kudos" account with a debit (the balance sheet nonsense) and offsetting credit (can do kudo). *sigh*

What else is going on....! I had my first live personal training session at 24 Hour Fitness and my trainer, Ryan, kicked my ass. But I have high hopes that he will whip me into shape. Currently I am slimming down for Amsterdam, the wedding, and training for the Breast Cancer 3-Day and now a triathlon. I learned yesterday that Treehouse is hosting a triathlon this year and all proceeds will go to benefit our organization. So I'm excited about that.

The Fremont Solistice parade is right around the corner. I got signed up for that and am looking forward to that. It will be nice to get my abs in shape again now that I can see them. :-)

The scar is still healing but at warp speed now. I should be all cleared up in another couple weeks or so. And the Doc will repair my scar later on down the line if I choose.

The MBA program is going well. I'm starting to get the swing of things. So far I have two A's. We start a new class this Saturday called Human Capital Development, which is just a fancy way of saying HR issues-n-sh*t.

Had a great weekend with the crew last Saturday. I haven't had that much to drink in a long, long, looooooooonnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggg time. And I wasn't even meaning to party hardy, it just sorta happened. But all was well and we all had a great time despite my rock star status (it was karaoke night at the local watering hole). They finally turned off my mic but let me stay on stage and rock out. As Dane said, not only did I think I was a rock star, they would have had to convince me that I really *wasn't* a rock star. Ahhh, good times. I swear, me+whiskey+karaoke/Gwen Stefani/No Doubt=entertaining show at Crystal's ego's expense. We will definitely be going back to that place as I intend to host a party there in the summer to help fundraising efforts for the 3-Day.

Our new foster kitty is finally turning around. She's decided that we aren't going to eat her and in fact we provide her with food so we can't be all that bad. It took longer than any other cat but it has paid off. She's still a little kooky at times but I think we are mostly past that.

I can't wait for Amsterdam!!!

I can't wait for the wedding!!!!

That's all for now.

Seattle Breast Cancer 3-Day Event

This year, I'll be participating in the Seattle Breast Cancer 3-Day event.

I'll be walking 60 miles over the course of three days with thousands of other women and men. The net proceeds will support breast cancer research, education, screening and treatment through Susan G. Komen for the Cure and the National Philanthropic Trust Breast Cancer Fund.

I've agreed to raise at least $2,200 in donations. My team goal is to raise over $5000.

According to Susan G. Komen for the Cure, approximately 200,000 American women will be diagnosed with breast cancer this year, and nearly 40,000 will die from the disease. Even scarier - 1 out of every 8 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer. That's insane! I need to do something bold about breast cancer NOW. Too many women have struggled and perished to this plague. It's got to stop!

I walk in honor and memory of three women: Carmen Lilley, Carin Carper, and Martha Alder. I can't really explain why I want to do this so bad other than the obvious reasons (for the cause and to honor these women, even though I didn't know two of them). I've seen the legacy these women have left and I've also seen the pain their loved ones have endured and they've all spoke of the pain these women endured. And I just can't imagine not doing something to try to stop this from ever happening again. The stats on any kind of cancer are daunting and perhaps it's high hopes to think that just one single person can make a difference, but you know what? I can and I am.

If you are interested in supporting me and help contribute to the cure of breast cancer, please visit my Breast Cancer 3-Day website. Again, 50 cents helps. There is no donation minimum or maximum. All donations are appreciated and will go recognized.

You are beautiful.

http://www.the3day.org/seattle07/crystaljoyewers

No Drama

It occured to me this morning that I have not updated my blog in over a week. I keep waiting for something worth "writing home" about to happen, but alas it's been a fairly non-dramatic week. But I guess I can still chat you up about a few minor instances.

New buddy: I've met another gal my age who is getting married at a destination wedding in Mexico this November. We've become instant friends and are swapping secrets. She's cool and independent and I totally dig her.

Work: has been going so well. I love it here so much. Everyday I drive home smiling a big grin because I'm just so blessed to work here. I'm wrapping up the March closing (and it's only 9 days after the month closed!) and then I'll begin working on A/R reconciliation and budgets. The Director of Admin/Finance position is still available and we're still looking. Our ED gave me mad props in front of the entire board last Thursday - I was very honored.

Social life: has been good too - I've been to dinner, happy hour, 2 send-off parties, and a movie with my new buddies here at work and I've only been here 4 weeks. Went and saw Blades of Glory (awesome) and Grindhouse (even better) this weekend. We also hit the traveling fair. The rides were fun but the bumper cars killed me. The safety bar fell right across my scar and I had to stop the ride to get out. The carny asked what the deal was and I told him the stitch. All in all we had a blast and went to dinner at the Tuna House afterwards.

Training: so I upgraded my 24 Hour Fitness membership to all clubs and hit the gym last week. It was good to be back in the saddle and I even got suckered into getting a personal trainer. I start meeting with him tomorrow. I've asked him to be a drill sargent and whip me into shape. We'll see how well he does. I'm excited and the Bellevue gym is nice. I've also started training for the 3-Day (post to follow shortly). We walked just under 5 miles on Sat. I went for a walk on my own yesterday that lasted about 1 hour/3.5 miles or so. The training walks will be every Sat/Sun from now till the 3-Day in September. I'm going to try and make at least one day a weekend. Not sure though on the weeks I go to school. I like my sleeping in and don't want to wake up early two days in a row. :-P

School: going good - I like the class we are in right now. We are moving into W6. I was supposed to get a head start on my project last week and didn't so now it's balls to the wall to complete my individual assignment and put together the team presentation. Shouldn't be too bad though. I think after this class our group will break up though. At least one person, I think the other will stay on for another class. Then HG and I take a break (timed well for the wedding and Solstice parade) then back on track. I take another break in October while HG takes a class. I think during that time I might visit Colorado. It will be a good time to do it.

Other: The parade classes will start soon, I'm looking forward to that especially since it's an Egyptian theme this year. Going to Amsterdam in about 7 weeks - I can't WAIT for that! I'm taking it unpaid though, so that might sting. I'm also going to visit PDX again in June when all the guys from Connecticut come down, that will be a blast! I haven't seen these guys in years! Hopefully Zac will be off his fixator by then too. The wedding is moving along though I haven't heard from my planner in months. I will phone her today. I hope she's okay.

That's about it for now. Maybe something dramatic will happen....the phone just rang!!! Dun dun dunn!! BORING - just my old boss following up on a question I had. Perhaps more later.

Infatuation

Okay, I can't keep it in anymore. I'm in lust with a rock star. I am completely, utterly, intoxicatingly taken with Type O Negative singer/bassist Peter Steele. http://petersteele.com/ Not only does this man have the steamiest voice I've heard since Elvis, he's like 6'7"!! And not a bean pole either, the man eats his wheaties. *swoon*

So after a cursory search on the web, I discovered more juicy details about this fabulous man. He appears to have a great sense of humor and even better a quick mind. Then add to that his demeanor with women. Specifically he was describing his ideal romantic interaction with his partner and it was enough to make the starving staved. At least for now.

He's playing at the Ogden in Denver on April 15th. There's no way I can get out there for that. *sigh* He needs to come to Seattle.

Until then, here he is in all his tall, fabulous long hair glory (I swear long hair is my kryptonite - I'm powerless to it, been that way all my life).

To Do In Amsterdam

So the Amsterdam trip with Amy is less than two months away. I've decided a to-do list is in order.

To Do:

1. Get a pic of me, Amy, and one (preferrably more) hooker(s) standing INSIDE one of the Redlight brothels.

2. Find a dyke and get a pic of me and Amy seemingly munching on a piece of carpet while on the dyke.

3. Run across the main square bridge in nothing but clogs and a flying nun dutch hat (see example below).

4. Order a "big, fat blunt" with a soy mocha at the local coffee shop (and take a pic of doing so).

5. Visit the Van Gough museum (where we can hopefully get some souven-ears...ba dump dump).

6. The Heineken Experience. Nuff said.

7. Wear wife beaters at our trailer park trash hostel on Lucky Lake.

http://www.luckylake.nl/Enlish/MainWindow.htm

8. Visit a few more museums and such.

9. Bicycle to the tulip farms and get some sort of kinky picture of me and Amy doing something with our tulips and two lips. Hee hee hee.

**Special thanks to Amy and HG for helping me devise aforementioned list of dutch debotchery.

PDX

I went to Portland last Friday for training and to visit with Zac. The training was awesome - I had the best time with Todd - it didn't even feel like training. We covered quite a bit of material, I finally had to just stop taking notes and absorb.

After training I went to Zac's house. I was still in work mode so it was a little awkward at first. So much so that I left to grab some booze, food, and so on. I got back and we hung out, looked at pictures, chatted about our lives. He's so funny - I forgot how funny it was to just listen to him and his stories. I told him about Isis, though I'm not sure if I should have or not. It was a total buzz kill I'm sure. After that it was time for bed. I slept on a futon that wasn't the most comfortable but better than the floor. When I woke up on Saturday I immediately went shopping at the Lloyd Center. I spent well over what I should have and got tons of stuff I didn't need. What I didn't do was pay taxes on any of it. Schwing! During my Victoria's Secret shopping excursion my phone's screen went dead. Completely dead and hasn't resurrected since. So if you texted me this weekend and I didn't respond, that's why. Anyway - I SHOULD have gone to the Cingular store there and even walked by it but decided against it. Who knows why. Dane and Zac equally gave me a lot of sh*t for that decision. I also had a pair of capri lace tights in my hand to purchase and opted out of that too. That also came back to bite me in toosh later when I was trying to make an outfit decision. After shopping I got lunch at Noodles and tried to post for school. I got one post in, but that was it. D'oh. Then I went back to Zac's and we hung out, watched Braveheart, then napped. I woke up and walked to the first restaurant I could find for dinner. I sat down at the bar (the only place with an outlet for the laptop) and chatted up the bartender. I ordered a cosmo and tried to get online, but couldn't. By the time I looked at the menu I was settled in and sipping away at my drink. I glance at the menu. I am at a Southern Food restaurant. I smile - there's not way I'm going to get a vegan meal at this place. But what's this - veggie jambalya. YES! And it was actually really good. And vegan (as far as I could tell). Since I couldn't get online I sat and played Catan. Then it was time to get ready for the show, so I went home. I tried on all my outfits. Nothing fits me the way it used to. What used to look good on me doesn't now and I haven't found clothes that fit me in a flattering way. I ended up wearing my Redlight top and Trendy Wendy skirt. The outfit rocked and it was time to go to the show. Which was fun. I met a lot of Zac's friends and had a good time just hanging out with him. After the show we went to Taco Bell then home. I was sooo tired I actually fell asleep (probably mid conversation) on the bed. I woke up the next morning in the same position I fell asleep in, false eyelashes still on and everything. We spent the morning talking and then it was time for me to drive back home.

It was good to be back home though. In the past couple years I've become a real homebody. I miss my man, cats, and bed when I'm gone. I got home and regaled Dane with my story and he told me his own (he got neutered on Saturday) and spent a few minutes laying on the bed with him. Before I knew it I was zonked out.

Ack - time to go - more later. :-)

St Patty's Day Party 2007

Wow. Dane and I had a BLAST this weekend but I'm sure we'll be feeling the effects for days. We are getting too old to party like that. But, now we can say that we opened a bar at 6am and stayed for 12 hours! That's right - we got to the bar at the ripe time of 5:45 in the morning and stayed till just before 6 pm. At that point we stumbled to our hotel, adorned in St Patty Day schwag and "meeaahh"ing like HG's cat Oscar. We took a 4 hour nap then got up and headed out to another party that we stayed at till just after 3. Then it was time to cab it back to the hotel and retire for the second time. By the time we got to bed, we had been up for 24 hours (save our 4 hour nap). When we got up this morning it was all we could do to make it home and back to bed. We spent all day today in bed watching movies and recovering from our little stint.

Surgery update: have some issues going on with the surgery. I'm on weekly watch by the doctor to see how stuff goes. My scar is being stubborn to heal and there are some other issues going on. :-( So far nothing to be overly concerned about, but I am worried a little bit. I'm now 5 weeks post op and I was expecting to be free of my garment and able to exercise. I've been put on exercise restriction again so I need to go back to counting calories. ESPECIALLY after this weekend. I don't even want to know how many calories I consumed.

Work is going well. We had a retreat on Friday and I was practically moved to tears with how cohesive and special the TH group of people are. Everyone cares for each other and is extremely supportive. The CEO is great - I love how she approaches running the business and free thought. I was amazed at everything I saw.

School is also going well. I'm going to use this week to catch up on reading since the homework is light. I may also get a jumpstart on my individual homework due. So far I have an A in this class and I got an A in the last class. Go me!

Odds and ends: This weekend I'm going to Portland to train for work and meet with Zac. It will be so much fun to hang out with him and learn about what he's been doing the last 14 years. I have a lot to do around the house though so I'm hoping I can get it all done before the weekend.

To do: size the wedding bands, go to Victoria's Secret, go to Trendy Wendy and The Metro, meet with the team, laundry for days, pick up around the house, grocery shopping, TSA letters, talk to HG about CdA, 3-day post/email, homework and postings.

Patty's Day Pictorial:

First thing in the morning.

After the shots of Jameson, which had safety strings on the shot glasses which made for great cow bells (or ka-honnies) the rest of the afternoon.

This guy was also there since 6am. As you can see I've picked up a hat from the "dirty" Guiness guys. What you don't see is my "I kissed a dirty old Irish man" button, my Guiness tee-shirt, and Guiness butane lighter. I was their little recruiter and got a gift for every gaggle of girls I brought to them. :-)

This was towards the end of our stay at Fado. We were feeling pretty good by this time.

Surreal

My new job at Treehouse seems surreal. Every morning I wake up I thank God that I am so blessed to work for such a great organization and company. I have already done great things for the organization and I forsee many more things to come in the future. It's just so nice to work for a "normal" company where people get along and care about you and interact. It's so nice to feel welcome and like I'm a part of something. It's nice to have the freedom and encouragement to do what I need to do to accomplish my job.

It's funny because I didn't realize how institutionalized I had become until I got out. When my phone rings or my email dongs I instantly prepare for the worse. Then I see a nice email just saying hello or making sure I have everything I need. Or it's someone on the phone being nice. I'm not used to that at all. I created a journal, posted it, had my supervisor approve it, and then filed it all in the same hour! We closed February books last Monday. FEBRUARY!! If this were my old job, I'd still be doing December probably. :-)

But in all this glorious transition, things still feel weird. I feel like at any moment I'll have to go back to TSA and this will all be over, like a dream or something. I'm all moved in to my new office and everything but it still feels weird. Maybe it can be likened to moving into a new house. It just takes time before it feels like home to you. Then again, I'm not sure TSA ever was home to me.

All in all I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I made the right decision for me. Anyway - I'm going to get back to work, I have a nice big fun list to work on. AND GUESS WHAT!!! I actually get to be THE key player in the budget process! Isn't that fun! And I get to organize the next audit. And so many other things that pertain to the real "meat and potatoes" of accounting. I'm so happy. :-)

I Can Exercise Again!

Today marks my *almost* 4 weeks post op. I celebrated by participating in a St. Patty's Day Dash with HG and the Hub and of course Mr. Man. We walked just over 3 miles in just over an hour! YEAH!! I can stand straight up now and move with ease. My scar has almost completely scabbed over. All in all I say I'm doing fantastic.

Now that I know I can handle mild exercise, I'm going to start getting back into a routine again. I think I'll start tomorrow morning with some yoga. We'll see how I feel after a full day's work to see if I should up the anty. After work I have plans to have drinks with LR and then go shopping at Captial Hill. I'm looking for a new edgy outfit and something for Patty's Day next Saturday.

We saw 300 on Saturday - awesome movie. There was all sorts of sweaty Spartan hotness to have. Even the guys had some eye candy though I'm not sure what I think about some aspects. Anyway - great movie, great soundtrack, great times.

I started my second MBA class, so far so good. I'm one of the leads for this week so I'll have some homework to do, but nothing too crazy. I think I will have an A in my 1st class, not confirmed though.

That's all for now, I've got to get back to homework and Quickbooks. And I'm sure I have a thousand other things I need to do.

HATERS!

Dude - TSA is a hater! They didn't pay me for my vacation time! So I put in some calls and hopefully it will all get worked out.

Anyway - new developments: first couple days at TH and budding relationship with Zac. So my first couple days at TH have been awesome!! It feels so good to get back into a "normal" work environment and culture. People talk about their lives and everyone seems so friendly and there are all sorts of invites to go places together as a business and as friends. When people leave, there are "toasts" were food and beverage are enjoyed by all with fellowship. Not people packing their crap in boxes and being ignored. I've been in a cubicle till my predecessor leaves and was listening to Dane Cook and couldn't control my laughing. I was doing my best to muffle it, but I guess my cube-mates thought I was crying so they came to check on me. It was funny when we all realized what happened. They thought I was so upset about the job I was crying. Silly gals, but it was so sweet to know that they cared. The work is definitely managable and challenging, but in the good way. I'm just so happy and everyday I feel like I made the right decision.

Zac: So after a couple days going back and forth on email, Zac and I chatted last night on the phone. We talked for awhile about the past and what's happened. He's not having a good time right now due to a motorcycle accident. Poor guy. As it were, I need to go to PDX for training so I think I'll stop by and say hello to my long lost puppy love friend. It wil be nice to see him in person and talk and hopefully entertain him. As in keep him company and make him laugh. Sounds like he could use a few good stories and I've got those for days.

So I was totally supposed to do all this stuff such as:
FAFSA
Call CIT - 800-721-4006, acct #, pymt made 2/27 via phone w/ Jamie #
Call 24 Hr Fitness, 800-432-6348
Homework
Quickbooks
Mail nano and taxes
Write letters to TSA officers
3-Day event email and post to blog
Email Melissa about 3 mile walk, sex, when can I bend backwards
Reschedule hair and dentist
Get Dane's rings fitted

And I haven't done anything. MySpace and iTunes are soaking up all my spare time! I guess tomorrow I can make some calls on the way to work, mail the nano and taxes at the post office by HG's house, email Melissa from work, do my homework and QB tomorrow night, the FAFSA and letters on Sunday after the walk. And Sat will be school, wedding dress then 300 (that looks like an AWESOME movie!). Sunday is the St. Patty's Day walk. Then next weekend is the St. Patty's Day party and hangover recovery. The following week/weekend will be PDX.

I need to focus on my April Fools Day prank to Dane this year. What to do, what to do....What did I do last year? I don't think I did anything...I must have done something. I'm going to post this so I can see what I did. I know Nick toilet papered our house. *frown* OH!! I know - we went to his boss's party. As we were leaving, I had his immediate boss pressure him into doing straight shots of real tequila. His boss took the first swig and was CHUGGING it! He must have taken about 3 shots worth then he gave it to Dane and of course Dane had to follow suit and so he winces and goes to take a shot of the hard stuff. About half way through the shot he puts the bottle down, confused, and we all bust out "APRIL FOOLS!!" The bottle was emptied long ago and filled with water. Good times. I can't remember what Dane did to me though. Dane can't either. Now I'm back to reviewing my blog again. Anyway - ideas for jokes?

A New Day

I have never in my life experienced a physical shift in appearance at the same time that I was experiencing a mental shift in character. It seems to me that my changes on the outside are almost an externalization of what I feel on the inside. Everything is happening all at once it's almost daunting to consider each and every piece. Perhaps it's like pulling a band-aid off all at once vs. delicately and slowly. Considering all that's going on, I think I do prefer the quick method.

To get everyone (okay - really just me) up to speed, this is what is going on: I've shed my TSA skin and start a new job tomorrow as the head of the accounting department at Treehouse. I've just completed my first course in my Master's degree program. I've just finalized the details on the wedding in July. I've agreed to go on a backpack/bicycling trip to Europe (okay - really Amsterdam) with the Amazing Amy in May (Amy you rock: I O U)! And I've course I just did some major changes to the ol physique. I chat you up on each subject individually.

1. TSA to TH: I'm so nervous and scared to start TH. They are so excited to have me and I know they expect great things from me and I'm so happy to be there and excited to do good things, I just hope I can live up to my reputation and the expectations. I hope I exceed their expectations. The budget is less than 5 mil, which I can do in my sleep. Even at C&C (which was around 3 mil) I had 2 501c3's and 2 501c4's. TSA was just a monstrousity all around from policies, company language, accounting procedures, dynamic, etc. If I can learn how to do the job at TSA, then I can do anything. On the flip side, I'm scared. I have one accounting assistant who is in/around my age so I think I may take the "friends" approach with her at first. I don't want to be her micro manager, I want to be a good manager but I also expect help and results. I got a couple of extra suits from Dressbarn (shitty name - NO woman's clothing store should have the name "barn" in it - whose silly idea what that?!) that were marked from $140 to $50 and one was actually $20! Then I got some scarves for $4 each. Total deal. I can't wait to wear them! Even with my swelling I fit in a size 12. And if I'm lucky enough to drop another size or two then I can donate the suits to Dress for Success. Or pin them to fit. Anyway, we'll see how it goes. I'm so excited and scared at once. What a huge step for me!

2. So the first MBA class wasn't so bad. We got an extra extension on our paper, so now I can slack off even more. :-) The teacher was cool - I hope to have him again in a smaller class setting. He's spicy, but just the right amount of spicy. The work wasn't so bad either, I was (and still am) expecting more but after this class I'm not as scared of the possibility of me being able to do this or not. I know I can now. It will be work, but I can do it. I'm so glad I have a buddy to go with me. I have a lot of fun with HG in class farting around. We are really different in class - I'm forever speaking out and HG is always quiet and reflective. I'm sure it makes for a fun dynamic for others. I can already see a HUGE difference between BA and MBA work. It's a good shift though and I love hearing from others about their experiences. It helps me to become a better manager.

3. With Mom in town we finalized all the details on the wedding. I think I mentioned this before in a post but I'll say it again. I think I even have my wedding dress picked out. I actually need to make the final decision on that soon. And pick the colors. I also got our wedding bands. I got my nice, vintage looking ring with a pave-type setting on the sides and some side diamonds - very classy. Then I was going to get Dane a band and a nice watch (because he believes that women get all the fun with the wedding jewelry and men don't get anything) but I found an AMAZING white gold ring with 3 baguette diamonds in it. It's all modern and manly looking and I instantly fell in love. Then I noticed some Triston or Trition or something like that "almost indestructible" black rings. For the price, I figured I could get him the black, durable band for everyday use and then he could bust out the power ring for nice occasions. I was nervous that Dane wouldn't like the rings (I bought them on the last day of a sale) but he fell in love with them too. Except he likes the power ring so much that he wants to wear that everyday and only wear the black one for manly occasions like camping, 4x4ing, fixing the car, etc. Whatever -they're his rings. I'm just glad he likes them.

4. So Amy is AWESOME dude! I think a few things happened that prompted the vaca invite from Amy. She got her passport, she's having a b-day in May, and she's a little restless. She sent me an email sometime last week asking if I'd be interested in a trip to either Europe or the Caribbean. Knowing that all my dough is tied up in the wedding, Amy offered her help in the form of an IOU. I couldn't say "No" to that so I said "I'd prefer Euro over Carib since we are going to Mexico in July anyway." So she said "Let's do Amsterdam or Spain." And I fell in love with Amsterdam. My second choice would have been Scotland or Ireland I think. But Amsterdam is the first choice and we love the idea of taking nothing but a backpack and bicycling around the country or just staying in one spot. We don't know, the only plan at this point is to arrive at 8 am on Saturday May 26th and leave the following Friday. No hotels to book, no tickets to buy, no car to rent. Nothing. Just meet and greet in the airport and go from there. I love it! What I like most about the idea of this trip is some quality girl time with Amy, just us, and that it will be like a vacation that I probably wouldn't have with Dane. And that's not a bad thing, it just means Dane would be miserable biking across Holland. I, on the other hand, look forward to it. Dane wanted to go to Europe first with me but I think he understands what an amazing opp this is for me and wouldn't want to stand in the way.

5. And last, but not least, the ol body. I'm still not supposed to make judgements but I love what Dr. Egrari has done for me! He deserves his Bentley and much much more! So even though I fit in a 12, it is still uncomfy to wear pants with buttons and zippers for a long time so when we went to the Noc Noc, I wore a sarong and a tank top type thing with a built in bra but not underwire (I can't wear underwire for 6 weeks post op) for support. And I did look pretty. I haven't felt or looked pretty (to me) in years. It was awesome. Even if I am the only one who notices and cares, the choice I made was the right one just in what it has done for me and my mental image of me. I'm sure some would say that I didn't need the surgery or that it was frivilous to go so far, and perhaps they are right. But on the flip side, I'm so glad I did go through with the surgery and I would do it again in a heartbeat. I'm nervous about how part of my incision is closing but the Doc says not to worry, so I guess I wont. And even if it doesn't fix itself, I still look great all around. I think I need more protein. I just don't get enough being vegan. I should go make myself a protein shake and take a nap. :-) When are they going to come out with protein pills?

Upcoming posts: so I have some ideas to post coming up here soon. One is "People I still think about", introduction of my 3-Day participation (a very special post), and of course pics. Dane and I actually took some the other day that I may post, even though it's less than two weeks post op and I have a lot of swelling, you can see a huge difference. I can't wait to start exercising again too. Anyway - more to come as the week wears on especially on my new job!

I Feel Pretty - Oh So Pretty!

Dane and I are going to the Noc Noc tonight to see LR's performance, I guess it's going to be recycled next week. Anyway - it's my first time out all pretty after surgery and honestly in a while. It feels like since living in WA going to clubs and bars and just out in general has become the rare and not the norm. Not that there's anything wrong with that, that's just what growing up is, but I do miss it at times.

So today I feel pretty. I got my first round of highlights gearing up to become blond again (though this time gradually not drastically) in time for the wedding. I still have a lot of swelling and have no idea what I can wear that wont hurt me or show my garments or whatever but I will put my eyes on and get all dressy. I haven't felt pretty in a long time. Actually it's been years. I can't wait to get dressed and go out. And I guess we are in for a show tonight, LR says there is a special headliner so the show will be packed. We need to get there early!

Went to Applebee's with Mom and RBMBA today. It was nice to see RBMBA but mom and I weren't on our best behavior. I felt bad but RB seemed to understand and take it in stride. We are going to see a movie this weekend and I'm really looking forward to that. I haven't spent time with her in a while.

And for the record - Applebee's puts bacon and eggs on their "house salad". I've worked at over 3 restaurants and eaten at a few more than that and to me "house salad" has always meant 3 wilted pieces of lettuce, a wrinkled cucumber, an over-ripe tomato, and 2 croutons. Every once in a while you find a restaurant that springs and puts two slivers of cheese on the "house salad" so just in case I said "no cheese" please. When I got my "house salad" I was shocked to see bacon and eggs - to me, that makes it a traditional cobb salad! So I felt bad for returning it to the kitchen but in my defense there was no description of the "house salad" on the menu and most "house salads" don't come with all the fixins. Dane's right - whenever I got to a restaurant I just need to say "I'm a vegan, is this "house salad" free of all animal products?" or what have you.

Anyway - I'm off to get pretty, oh so pretty. :-)

Exit Interview Paperwork

*don't forget to read "The Right Thing" post first (just below this post), otherwise this wont make sense*

1. What was your opinion of: (Excellent, Good, Fair, Poor)
Your salary = poor
Your hours = good
Assigned duties & workload = poor with comment: "OVERLOADED FOR MONTHS, not days or weeks"
Supervision = no rating with comment: "Under RB, supervision was excellent."
Working conditions = fair with comment: "DHQ was always understaffed in my 1.5 yrs there. For me personally it was an environment that I could only fail in."
Fellow employees = excellent (I didn't mention it on the form, but now that TB is gone things are okay and an exit interview is not the place to point out DM's and KB's flaws)

2. Did you receive adequate job training? Yes with comment: "From HG and RB"

3. Have you obtained another position? Yes

If so, does it have:
Better pay? Yes with comment: "by about $##,###/yr"
Shorter hours? Same
Better benefits? Yes with comment: "100% paid med/den/STD/LTD/401k/403b, and volunteer opportunities"

4. Will you be doing the same kind of work? Yes

5. What were the reasons that influenced you to leave your present employment?
In this order:
1) How the issues surrounding TB's resignation developed, specifically the witch-hunt for RB and the investigator/investigation.
2) Having the opportunity to volunteer with Major Sargents at the Toy 'N Joy for Cmas '06 revoked without any say in the matter despite my pleading.

6. Do you have any suggestions where you feel improvement should/could be made?
Would they be taken seriously? If so - please call me, I DO have some suggestions. *phone number*

7. Do you have any abilities or skills that you feel were not used?
All of them. (though this is a slight exaggeration, I may one-line cross that out so you can still see it but write "Yes" over it) I am moving into "Accounting Manager" position at my new job with the confidence that I can actually do accounting work and not circle payables all day and open mail.

8. Have you returned all Army property? Yes

9. Are you interested in any on-call work? Yes

10. Do you need COBRA? Maybe

11. Where should we mail your W2? *address*

12. Do you have any work injuries? No

13. Have you had any work injuries? No

Passwords: blah blah blah

Additional comments: "I loved working for the Army and I love the people with all my heart. And when I got to do the CFA accounting duties, I loved the work. However, it was too much work for too long with no reward or even recognition. I am sad to leave the Army but happy that I have left on good terms. Thank you for everything. I will miss everyone."

Crystal Ewers

The Right Thing

I totally feel like I've done the right thing with TSA in regards to my employment and resignation. I wish I could have had the opportunity to hand over a cleaner set of books but that was out of my hands. I'll elaborate:

2/26/07 around 9 am

Group of folks: Crystal - wow, what are you doing here? I thought you were taking Monday off?
CJE: Oh, I had to reschedule my thing for Wed so I'll be off on Wed.
Group: Oh. okay. *uncomfortable shuffle*
CJE: Well, I'm gonna put my stuff down and wait for Karen to tell me what to do.
Group: *all at once* Yeah I gotta...... Oh my phone is ringing....... Hey Bob - do you have that......

~time passes while KB leisurely gets in to the office~

CJE: Good morning Karen - how would you like me to spend the next two weeks?
KB: *blink blink* What are you doing he...Did you not get the letter?
CJE: *laughs* I guess not. Did it say "Eff you, don't come to work anymore?"
KB: Well I wouldn't go that far but in light of your surgery and mom being in town we just decided to go ahead and pay you in lieu of.
CJE: Right on. Now I can spend time with mom and get some stuff done.

And the conversation continued on from there. I explained things to KB and ate my breakfast and took my time getting out of there. I said goodbye to everyone, the worst was Demetri. I will REALLY miss him so much. Then I yanked HG from her work (sorry HG, I really am) but I made up for it by buying her a soy mocha. We chatted real quick about the goings on and the coming week. It was kinda sad knowing that was my last time there (other than when I come bother her to take her to lunch).

Apparently there was a letter sent to me on Friday after my and Mom's visit to TSA. I guess with my note, my 80 year old lady walk, and everything else they felt they should just pay me out and say good riddens. So they sent me an overnight Saturday delivery package with said letter and exit interview paperwork. The letter was delivered sometime after 9:30 this am. I guess UPS does not deliever to these parts on Saturday.

Time to go - Exit Interview to be posted later today. :-)

DREAD

I'm dreading going back to work. Probably mostly because I'm done with TSA and don't want to deal with the Douche and I don't know what awaits me there and I'm not quite sure what they will have me do with my two weeks: payables and grunt work or real accounting work. Honestly, I'm not even sure what I want to do. I imagine the best thing for me to do is to wrap up and journals and GL messes that I am aware of and pass on a clean set of books to the gals. If I had it my way, I would not deal with the corps operations at all the next two weeks. OR I would do nothing but deal with the corps operations while the more energetic gals worked on the hard stuff. I'll let the Douche decide what she, in all her wisdom (sarcasm), wants me to do.

I AM glad to have the time to say my goodbyes and cleanup and to get back into the swing of business after the surgery. I've been in La La Land for the past two weeks so I will need something familiar to get back on track. Then I can start TH fresh and hopefully with the energy needed to tackle the challenges that wait for me there.

I'm REALLY scared/nervous. I'm constantly second guessing myself and my capabilities. I hope I have what it takes to make it in this position. I'm determined to make it work. I just can't believe that after all this time and all I've been doing to get to this point its finally here. I'm shocked. I plan to spend the next two weeks familiarizing myself with the Financial Edge (a derivative of Blackbaud/Raiser's Edge) software so I can hit the ground running. I really need to be on my A game. I plan on going to Dress Barn and getting some nice outfits for work. I'm also going back to blond (kinda - maybe just highlights), and getting my nails done again. I want to feel pretty again. Admittedly I was spending a lot on my hair and nails but I kinda like doing those things for myself. I have a much better attitude when I feel sexy and the past year has been kinda dark for me (cite reference this blog). Apparently blonds really do have more fun. :-P At least this blond anyway.

So iPods are entirely too much fun. Dane got me a $50 gift certificate to iTunes for V-day and I've been tearing it up. I've gotten everything from Testament (Return to Serenity) to Rage Against the Machine, Kelly Clarkson, Queen, Garbage, Beyonce, Gwen Stefani - you name it. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my iPod. I would wear it 24/7 if I could. I'm pissed I didn't get the iPod pillow at Bed, Bath, and BeBlond for $9.99 when I had the chance.

Having my mom in town has been fun and of course greatly needed. I will say that I am disheartened at her lack of willingness to try new things. Such as a sushi place. They even had "regular" food on the menu and we told her that but she was still stubborn not to even step foot in the place. I got pissed, Dane got pissed, Mom got pissed, it was not happy times. We finally went and Mom conceded to look at the menu (which is all I ever asked for), decided it wasn't for her, and went next door to have a good ol American beefy, cheesy Philly cheesesteak. Whatever. Dane and I like the sushi place because they have a plethora of vegan options as well as meaty options for Dane so it's one of the few places Dane and I can eat at and both be happy. In the end it all worked out but it definitely dampered the mother/daughter spirits. Mom's been spoiling the cats by giving them wet cat food (something they haven't had in almost two years) and claiming they are starving. All our cats are well over 10 lbs with auto-feeders and water. They can eat any time they want, day or night. So now the cats HOUND her - it's quite amusing.

Today we settled for Italian food - who can't find something they like at a pasta place. We also drove to Alki Point (just West of Seattle, across the Sound) to look at the views and go for a drive. Now its all I can do to stay awake. I don't want to nap cause then I wont be able to sleep tonight. So I'm staying up till 8 then crashing out so I can work tomorrow. I get to wear track suits to work cause I can't fit into my regular work clothes. Well, I might be able to by now, but it's hard with the swelling and it hurts to have buttons and zippers right on my scar.

Surgery/recovery update: my stitches come out on Wed. They gave me a cream to put on my scar to help with something, who knows. Every day Dane and I take pics of the scars so I can look at them closely (via camera) and say things like "Ehhh" and "Gross!" and "What's that?!" and "Pull the thread of gauze" or "Pop the zit!" All of which Dane ignores and continues his nurse like duties. My boobs hurt. I guess now that the swelling is going down somewhat and they are adjusting to their new size, the skin is getting stretched and complaining so it's very tender. Also, the weirdest thing, I can feel on the inside of the boob a reaction to cold or what have you, but there is no reaction on the surface! I'm told this is normal and eventually my nips will have reaction again. I guess a boob lift is like botox for nips. They are permenantly stuck in the "everything's okay" position. I'm still VERY swollen (according to the Doc and nurse) in my hip/belly area. They say I should expect a lot more shrinkage, which is AWESOME news - I thought I was done swelling but I guess it lingers for up to 3 months.

Which means shopping for a wedding gown is now more complicated. Basically I can't buy anything new till about May or June and that puts me to less than 60 days from the wedding which means any alterations will have to be rush and since Mom is in CA and can't do it for me, I will have to pay some clown in the WA area to do it AND it will cost a bazillion dollars. I'm fixin to get married in a swimsuit afterall. :-P Mom and I made some crucial decisions on the wedding, we've got a lot of stuff buttoned up and only a few details left to make. I'm starting to get really excited now that it's coming together. Though I worry only about 3 people will show up. As it gets closer and closer to the date things keep coming up and I wonder if my buddies and family will make it. My sister already dropped out. Whatever. I hope that people will come. It would devastate me if certain people were not there but at the same time I've got to move forward and enjoy the day for what it truly is: my union with the man I love. We've got some awesome stuff planned for our guests though, so those who are coming - you will NOT be disappointed. We are going the extra mile to make sure it is worth every penny.

Recovery Stage 2

Well it's almost a week and a half since the surgery and I am completely off the pain meds - can you believe that! What hurts the most these days is my back. I still have to walk like an 80 year old lady and sleep on my back so muscles that normally don't support me have been and they are angry about it. Other than that, things are fine. They took my drains out on Tuesday. If I could liken that to anything it would probably be what it would feel like (on a mild scale) to be disemboweled. Figure after about a week some of my inside body tissue had started forming to the tubes thinking it was a new part of my body. Well, when those tubes were yanked from my insides (Dane says they were a good 10 inches up in my abdominal) the tissues that started binding the tubes to my innards where severed. You can imagine how that felt. I let out a few cuss words but after a few minutes everything calmed down and I was okay again. But I'll be a happy camper if I never have to experience anything like that again.

After my doc appointment on Tuesday, Dane left for work in Olympia and Nick came over to care for me and switch cars. My mom was due in town that evening and can't drive clutch so Nick offered us his automatic Mustang. Well no sooner did he get here did he go into some sort of shock and I had to care for him till his dad got here and take him to the ER. Turns out he now has tonsilitis (he just recovered from menengitis) and a possible blood clot in his lungs. So that sucked because I was supposed to stay relatively inactive and ended up caring for poor Nick. Who is doing okay but still in the hospital. Dane had to come home to care for me but by the time he got home in traffic, it was time for him to pick up my mom. Once my mom was in town we stayed up till 1 talking about anything and everything. It is really great to have her here to help and care for me the way that only moms can do.

Yesterday we actually went to the mall and grocery store which was way more activity than I should have done and I was exhausted. Then HG picked me up for a team meeting. That was cool to be back in the land of the living and coherent. Today I've been off the pain meds and doing my homework, emails, and Mom and I made some crucial wedding detail decisions. We are going to look at wedding dresses tomorrow. I can't try any on cause my body is still changing and morphing but we can figure out what I like and if it's possible for my mom to remotely tailor my gown because I will definitely be a unique size after all this surgery.

In other news I got a call this am from my CEO at Treehouse (TH) and I guess my boss, the Director of Admin Barbara, has resigned! So her last day will be in March and she will work with me to transition and make everything as smooth as possible, but that came as a shock to me. I was really looking forward to working with her. But Janis, my CEO, made it clear they were very excited for me to start and ensured me I would have every resource made available to help me excel in every way. We even discussed the accounting software training. I elected to have the consult come help me after I've gotten my feet wet a bit so I know what questions to ask rather than have him train me from the get go - I'm a smart gal, I can stumble my way through a lot without too much assistance. I asked if I could bring my mom by the office and she said that would be wonderful and overall I'm just so happy to be starting there soon -what a great opportunity. AND I guess I will be a part of the hiring process for the new Director of Admin - I'm gonna hire my new boss! How crazy is that! I HAVE A VOICE AGAIN!!!!!

I got a call from a coworker today that unfortunately I couldn't help out too much (at TSA). She says she misses me already and is really overwhelmed with all the work. I guess another employee took the week off (God knows how she got that approved, it wasn't planned though so I hope everything is okay). So now there are two gals keeping the 30+ corps at DHQ moving along. Wow. I feel bad for them. I'm still sad to be leaving. But I'm so happy it's on good terms.

So I'm not supposed to make any judgements till at least four weeks (and I wont post any pics till I'm healed - they're pretty nasty right now) but I can say this. WOW!!!! I'm absolutely stunned at the results. The night I went to surgery my measurements were 41/37/48 and I weighed in at 170 (amazing because last I checked I was 180 so all this vegan dieting and exercising must be doing something). Today, with my garments on and gauze underneath and still a moderate amount of swelling that will take a few weeks to subside, my measurements were 42/34/44. The Doc took 3 inches off my waist and 4 inches off my hips! And I'm still pretty swollen. The Doc and everyone expect me to calm down to about 40 inches at the hips over the next few weeks. As I continue to diet and exercise, I should drop at least another 1 - 2 inches (if not more) between April and the wedding. Amazing. Now bra size is a little different. I was a 38C before surgery but I wasn't a "full" C cup. I tried putting on my bra last night (over my garments so as not to harm my still healing bossom) and there is no way that bra will fit. First of all it's too big around, so I probably will drop to a 36 or 34. And the C cup is too small, so I will have to upgrade to a D cup. The thought of being a 34D has me grinning from ear to ear. Call it selfish, call it foolish, call it materialistic, call it vain, call it whatever you want - you're right! But I'm still happy. :-)

When I lay down now, the boobs stay in place. I have no belly - it's flat. No rolls, no creases, no flabby skin - nothing. I've never layed down and been able to see my hips and all my parts - it looks and feels so good! And (for as grafic as this may be) I have a vagina again! Now that my belly is gone and the skin is pulled tight - I have "normal" junk. And let me tell you how good THAT is!! It just looks and feels so much better. I'm not even all healed and I still have WEEKS to go and I'm already this pleased. I think that I made a good decision and I would do it again in a heartbeat. Yeah, sure - it's going to cost a lot of money and it was a bit extreme, but what a difference.

Dane can't wait for me to get better. He's anxious (as am I) to try everything out. He's been afraid to touch me because he doesn't want to hurt me so last night he took his first poke at my boobie. He was immediately enthralled. They don't really look or feel unnatural, just full. That's the best way to describe it.

I also discovered that my PAP came back abnormal and I need a colposcopy (again). LAME. So I have to work out getting that done but the challenges are: I'm still healing from surgery, I have transitioning insurance, and a new job to consider. Dane and I are trying to design things so that we wont have to go months and months without any loving but things are difficult. In light of these discoveries and with my IUD expiration we've decided that Mr. Man is going to get a vasectomy. He doesn't want to talk about it. :-) That's what he says but he knows, logically, that it's the best thing we can do. He just doesn't want to think about knifes being down there. I told him it'd be okay and to hand me more gauze for my oozing stitches and scars. :-)

That's all for now, more as the weekend develops with stories of mom, the wedding dress, the doctor appointments, and so on!

Recovery

So today has been the first day that I've felt competent enough to get my thoughts onto the computer. It's also the first day that I've felt comfortable enough to do so.

I actually got a good night's rest on Sunday figuring it would be the last time I would sleep soundly in a long time. Woke up Monday morning on time, showered, and got dressed. We were only 5 minutes late to Dr. Egrari's office which wasn't so bad. We spent a few minutes in the pre-op room going over my anesthesia, the procedure itself, and recovery. Then the doc marked me up for operating - I looked like a blank paint by numbers palate. Then Dane and I got to spend a few minutes alone before surgery. They gave me a warm blanket to wrap up in, which was nice. When it was time to go to the op room they let me give Dane one last kiss and then led me in to the room. The op bed was warmed over with comfy sheets. I crawled right in and was immediately at ease. They put some funky stuff in my IV and I started feeling silly. They asked me how I felt and I said happy and then looked at the operating lights and listened to the soft music in the background and felt like I was on Nip/Tuck. Minutes later I awoke to applesauce and pills being fed to me. I was in a lot of pain and dazed. I asked for Dane and wasn't sure what happened and why I didn't get the surgery done. The nurses assured me the surgery was done and went well and I was coming out of my daze. I spent the next hour or so in and out lying on the table telling myself that with each minute my pain was less and less. Finally it was time for me to leave and they made me walk to the car which was very painful. Lucky for me HG let me borrow her truck as my car was too low and Dane's truck was too high, but her truck was just right. It hurt to move and go home and I wondered whose idea this was and how I could possibly bear 2 weeks of this.

Once home Dane fed me more pain killers and I went to sleep. I really don't remember much of the first few days except a lot of sleeping, tv, and feeling shitty. My garment got off-kilter so when HG took care of me yesterday we made an impromptu appointment for me to go in and get it fixed since I kept peeing on myself (gross). And Dane accidently grabbed a bag of frozen mushrooms instead of peas to put on my chest and when they thawed out they smelt HORRIBLE!! So bad I almost vomited - not good after abdomnioplasty (sp?). So HG took me to my appointment and they changed my banadages and gave me a bigger garment since the one I had before was too small and I was VERY swollen. I guess because I'm a vegan and can't get as much protein it makes me more suseptible to swollen. I was so disstended you could see that I hadn't had a bowel movement. After that they washed my hair and cleaned me up nice and pretty. I guess Dr. Egrari's office is one of the few, if only, plastic surgeon office that does things like that for their patients which I think is genius. So on the way home HG got me some veggie protein supplement and milk of magnesia. I spent all last night on the toilet refusing to eat or drink till I got rid of the crap in my body. It was a long battle and by the time it was over I just wanted to sleep. Seriously, in all this hack and slash of my body - the worst pain has been the constipation and then the bowel movement.

Today was the first day I've really felt alive enough to complete some thoughts. I've slept a lot today, got my posting done, read through email, and even did this blog. Though I can tell I'm beat. We've transitioned me to my medium weight drugs with 5 hour spreads instead of 4. I still live in my hospital gown and robe. I still have drains attached to my belly, those will probably come out on Tuesday - I'm scared for them to pull those out - that will be hell. Boo has been absolutely adorable!! She will not leave my side. She has slept on my legs since Monday and when Dane tries to take her off so I can get up, she forcibly jumps back into position. She follows me to the bathroom and makes sure I'm okay at all times. Dane has been doing an amazing job too. Our relationship has definitely been taken to the next level. I've asked him to do things I never would have dreamed and he has lovingly obliged. The poor guy - and he's been able to take most of this week to work from home so he can care for me - I'm so lucky. He has apologized several times for acting out before the surgery and been nothing but caring and loving. He even gets up from WOW when I ask him to no matter who he's battling. :-)

My mom is flying in town on Tuesday evening. Dane needs to get back to work and I fear I will still need care at home so we are flying her out here. It will be nice to have her here and I"m sure Dane will love the reprieve.

All in all things are going very well. Every day I get more and more mobile. Every day I hurt less and less. I really have to thank God, my family, and friends for all the wonderful support and blessings I've been given throughout all of this. I'm a lucky gal.

I do have a scar that runs from hip to hip, like all the way across - not just in the middle. But it's low. I also have a flat belly. I've NEVER had a flat belly. And right now my boobs are HUGE!!! Most of it is swelling, but man are they biggens. And they sit straight up in the air. As HG and Dane said - "they are definitely not your old boobs." I'm sure they look all Frankenstein like but that will fade with time.

For now I have a paper to write tomorrow. A team paper to write on Sunday or so and another individual assignment due next week. Those are my biggest challenges. Next I have some work to accomplish for TSA and I want to play around with TH's books and Blackbaud before I go to work there. A lot of stuff going on. My next doc appointment is on Tuesday and then again on Monday the 26th. Wish me luck!

I will post pics soon!

Surgery Fears

I'm nervous, anxious, scared, and a teensy bit excited about the surgery tomorrow. My fears are showing in odd ways too. As long as I keep busy, I'm okay but the second I stop or lay down for the evening, my brain runs rampant with crazy thoughts and everything I have to do and all the stress of work, learning a new job, my MBA, people in class, my friends, my family, the pain - everything. With all the maddness in my head it's hard to be affectionate or passionate with Dane. He's very upset about this and told me as much last night for about two hours. That only added to the stress that I feel and really made me feel like a piece of shit for everything.

Basically he thinks I owe him for what I'm calling on him to do. I thought that family and friends were there to take care of you in your time of need. I know that if he or any one of buddies or family members needed me to help them, I would be there in a heartbeat. So now I'm reconsidering all that I've asked of Dane and my other friends. I feel like I owe it to them to take back all the requests I've made. I guess this is something I really need to do myself. It was my choice to have this surgery and I shouldn't make it anyone else's concern.

Sometimes things are just more hassle than their worth.

The Breakup

I broke up with TSA today. It is with mixed emotion that I resigned and even write this blog. I love the Army, I love what I do, I love most of the people, I would have loved to stay. I just couldn't do it anymore. I wish they would have listened to me sooner. I wish they wouldn't have treated RBMBA the way they did. I wish for a lot. It's sad because the Swede asked several times if I would reconsider but I told him we were beyond that (though I didn't say it in those words).

Surprisingly (or maybe not) they accepted my resignation and will allow me to take my sick time and come back to button up my books. It's not good timing and we are all sad but what's done is done. I'm very grateful they are letting me leave on good terms and say goodbye to my friends at the office. We've all had enough drama the past two months, no one needs any more. I can tell a huge weight has been lifted and there is no more pressure or tension.

I feel very much inside like I just broke up with someone. I feel like it has been a long time coming and we all knew it was going to happen. Now that it has actually happened though, we are all a little shaken. Even me. I think it will take some time to "grieve" if you will. Perhaps closure is a better word. I'm sure in no time I'll be back to being excited about Treehouse, which I am.

It felt good to be honest with TSA. I started to feel kinda crummy about knowing I was leaving but not giving them a heads up while I was recooping. This way I got to give them notice, have a clear conscious/conscience (I never remember which spelling it is), start TH on time, and leave TSA on excellent terms.

For now I've downloaded Kelly Clarkson's Breakaway, Psyche's Goodbye Horses (think Silence of the lambs and lipstick - I'll post a likeness pic), and Gwen Stefani's The Sweet Escape for sulking purposes.

Here's my best he-bitch impression (even Silent Bob from Clerks II is in the background):

"Ooooh"

Happy Birthday to ME!!

This year was infinitely better than last year's birthday (trip to Hawaii not included). For starters, I got offered a position at Treehouse for quite a bit more money than I currently make plus a bonus if I stay over a year. I'm so excited to start this new job!! It will be so nice to have reasonable working conditions and deadlines. And it will be nice not working for a douche (KB not RBMBA). I get to be a douche to someone else now. :-) Actually I hope I will be a good manager, I'm very much in touch with what it's like to be on the receiving side. I got my wedding time off approved, paid or unpaid - it's my choice. Benefits are 100% paid for and start the 1st day of the month after my start date. I don't get as much PTO or tuition reimbursement though, but the cash in my pocket is worth it. If all goes well with surgery and my TSA resignation, I will start TH on March 12th or thereabouts. I'm really, really excited. And it's apart of my "work schedule" to tutor the kids as part of the in-house tutor program!! Imagine that, encouragement to volunteer for the company I work for, not taking that priviledge away from me!!!

Today was spent reflecting leaving TSA. I will be sad to leave a lot of people/corps. And then there are some people that I wont be sad to leave. As an extra stinger, the Swede and the Douche were almost civil and pleasant to me today.

HG and I split a vegan cake for my b-day then went to the spa after work. It was a nice decompressor and gave us time to chat about my leaving and resignation. I hope she doesn't get into any mess for "knowing and not telling". Though she will tell them that I didn't tell her if they press the issue.

I came home to Dane cooking our dinner, what a nice guy! He got me a few b-day gifts (everything I wanted). And he purchased the same congratulatory card he got me for graduating college. Silly man! I love him.

Oh! FOY called me back. They offered me the position. I felt so bad that I had to decline, but she took it well and even genuinely congratulated me. She told me to keep them in mind "cause you never know what happens" and I really will. I do think Treehouse is the better option. Here's the link if you care to check out the website: http://www.treehouseforkids.org/index.htm

I will post more about turning 27 vs. 26 but I'm talking to my dad now, so I gotta go. :-)

The Offer

Hi Crystal,

Deborah shares our impression and also thinks you would be a great addition to the team. So, we would be thrilled to offer you this position. I would like to set up a time to meet with you on Monday to talk about the details. Do you have any time on Monday for a meeting?

My cell phone is BLAH. I am not available this evening but will be able to take a call on Saturday if you would like to set up a meeting time.

I look forward to speaking with you.

With respect,


Barbara Blah
Director of Admin
Treehouse

So after my 3:00 interview I picked up HG at DHQ and we went to the Japanese dollar store. I got a pan, stir-fry pan, oblong pan, colander, and a myriad of other items that I didn't need for about $15 total. It was awesome. I also got my cornicopia of drugs for my surgery. After that I dropped HG off and met Dane at Bamboo Garden for dinner. While I was waiting I picked up some material on veganism and animal rights and by the time Dane got there I was in tears with the torture of animals. We ordered our food (Bamboo Garden is a 100% vegan restaurant) and talked about our days and I was so happy that Dane was willing to at least try it out. But it still hurt me about the pictures and tutorials I read about the animals. When we got home we went upstairs and layed out all the information I had on both Treehouse and Friends of Youth (who has not gotten back with me but I know that they are still checking my references) and discovered the differences btwx the two companies. It boils down to TH being more education and advocacy based and FOY being more care/treatment/prevention based. So the decision lied in what I want to do, social work or legislative. As anyone who knows me will answer, I'm more interested in law and legislation. That and the general environments and culture of the companies, I've leaned more towards TH.

After discussing work I started getting upstet about animal cruelty and talking to Dane about the perils of eating meat and for extra emphasis I decided to bring up Peta's new investigation on PetSmart and the hampster/gerbil abuse. After reviewing the pictures and video with him I decided to check my email. Low and behold there was the email above. I'm shocked beyond words. Dane is so happy and proud. My parents are proud. RBMBA is proud. HG is happy. It has yet to hit me yet because now I have a serious responsibilty to perform. I have to call the Director tomorrow to schedule a meeting for Monday (my b-day). I think I will accept this job over the FOY job (should I even be offered that job). I will work out the details on Monday, but I don't think I will hand in my resignation till I get back from sick leave at the end of February.

I'm sad to leave the Army. I really am. I don't want to leave HG. I don't want to leave my units. But I can't work for LD and the Swede. I would have gone to the ends of the Earth for RBMBA. But no one else. ESPECIALLY LD!!! And THE SWEDE!!!!! Never. They don't deserve me. I refuse to make them look good. Dicks. NOPE. I'm leaving. Good riddens you fools. Treat RBMBA like that after TEN F*CKING YEARS?!?!?!!?? See ya. Good night. Bye. I still feel bad for my units that have nothing to do with this. :-( But TSA had a choice. They could have kept me. Dicks.

What should my resignation say?