PDX

I went to Portland last Friday for training and to visit with Zac. The training was awesome - I had the best time with Todd - it didn't even feel like training. We covered quite a bit of material, I finally had to just stop taking notes and absorb.

After training I went to Zac's house. I was still in work mode so it was a little awkward at first. So much so that I left to grab some booze, food, and so on. I got back and we hung out, looked at pictures, chatted about our lives. He's so funny - I forgot how funny it was to just listen to him and his stories. I told him about Isis, though I'm not sure if I should have or not. It was a total buzz kill I'm sure. After that it was time for bed. I slept on a futon that wasn't the most comfortable but better than the floor. When I woke up on Saturday I immediately went shopping at the Lloyd Center. I spent well over what I should have and got tons of stuff I didn't need. What I didn't do was pay taxes on any of it. Schwing! During my Victoria's Secret shopping excursion my phone's screen went dead. Completely dead and hasn't resurrected since. So if you texted me this weekend and I didn't respond, that's why. Anyway - I SHOULD have gone to the Cingular store there and even walked by it but decided against it. Who knows why. Dane and Zac equally gave me a lot of sh*t for that decision. I also had a pair of capri lace tights in my hand to purchase and opted out of that too. That also came back to bite me in toosh later when I was trying to make an outfit decision. After shopping I got lunch at Noodles and tried to post for school. I got one post in, but that was it. D'oh. Then I went back to Zac's and we hung out, watched Braveheart, then napped. I woke up and walked to the first restaurant I could find for dinner. I sat down at the bar (the only place with an outlet for the laptop) and chatted up the bartender. I ordered a cosmo and tried to get online, but couldn't. By the time I looked at the menu I was settled in and sipping away at my drink. I glance at the menu. I am at a Southern Food restaurant. I smile - there's not way I'm going to get a vegan meal at this place. But what's this - veggie jambalya. YES! And it was actually really good. And vegan (as far as I could tell). Since I couldn't get online I sat and played Catan. Then it was time to get ready for the show, so I went home. I tried on all my outfits. Nothing fits me the way it used to. What used to look good on me doesn't now and I haven't found clothes that fit me in a flattering way. I ended up wearing my Redlight top and Trendy Wendy skirt. The outfit rocked and it was time to go to the show. Which was fun. I met a lot of Zac's friends and had a good time just hanging out with him. After the show we went to Taco Bell then home. I was sooo tired I actually fell asleep (probably mid conversation) on the bed. I woke up the next morning in the same position I fell asleep in, false eyelashes still on and everything. We spent the morning talking and then it was time for me to drive back home.

It was good to be back home though. In the past couple years I've become a real homebody. I miss my man, cats, and bed when I'm gone. I got home and regaled Dane with my story and he told me his own (he got neutered on Saturday) and spent a few minutes laying on the bed with him. Before I knew it I was zonked out.

Ack - time to go - more later. :-)

St Patty's Day Party 2007

Wow. Dane and I had a BLAST this weekend but I'm sure we'll be feeling the effects for days. We are getting too old to party like that. But, now we can say that we opened a bar at 6am and stayed for 12 hours! That's right - we got to the bar at the ripe time of 5:45 in the morning and stayed till just before 6 pm. At that point we stumbled to our hotel, adorned in St Patty Day schwag and "meeaahh"ing like HG's cat Oscar. We took a 4 hour nap then got up and headed out to another party that we stayed at till just after 3. Then it was time to cab it back to the hotel and retire for the second time. By the time we got to bed, we had been up for 24 hours (save our 4 hour nap). When we got up this morning it was all we could do to make it home and back to bed. We spent all day today in bed watching movies and recovering from our little stint.

Surgery update: have some issues going on with the surgery. I'm on weekly watch by the doctor to see how stuff goes. My scar is being stubborn to heal and there are some other issues going on. :-( So far nothing to be overly concerned about, but I am worried a little bit. I'm now 5 weeks post op and I was expecting to be free of my garment and able to exercise. I've been put on exercise restriction again so I need to go back to counting calories. ESPECIALLY after this weekend. I don't even want to know how many calories I consumed.

Work is going well. We had a retreat on Friday and I was practically moved to tears with how cohesive and special the TH group of people are. Everyone cares for each other and is extremely supportive. The CEO is great - I love how she approaches running the business and free thought. I was amazed at everything I saw.

School is also going well. I'm going to use this week to catch up on reading since the homework is light. I may also get a jumpstart on my individual homework due. So far I have an A in this class and I got an A in the last class. Go me!

Odds and ends: This weekend I'm going to Portland to train for work and meet with Zac. It will be so much fun to hang out with him and learn about what he's been doing the last 14 years. I have a lot to do around the house though so I'm hoping I can get it all done before the weekend.

To do: size the wedding bands, go to Victoria's Secret, go to Trendy Wendy and The Metro, meet with the team, laundry for days, pick up around the house, grocery shopping, TSA letters, talk to HG about CdA, 3-day post/email, homework and postings.

Patty's Day Pictorial:

First thing in the morning.

After the shots of Jameson, which had safety strings on the shot glasses which made for great cow bells (or ka-honnies) the rest of the afternoon.

This guy was also there since 6am. As you can see I've picked up a hat from the "dirty" Guiness guys. What you don't see is my "I kissed a dirty old Irish man" button, my Guiness tee-shirt, and Guiness butane lighter. I was their little recruiter and got a gift for every gaggle of girls I brought to them. :-)

This was towards the end of our stay at Fado. We were feeling pretty good by this time.

Surreal

My new job at Treehouse seems surreal. Every morning I wake up I thank God that I am so blessed to work for such a great organization and company. I have already done great things for the organization and I forsee many more things to come in the future. It's just so nice to work for a "normal" company where people get along and care about you and interact. It's so nice to feel welcome and like I'm a part of something. It's nice to have the freedom and encouragement to do what I need to do to accomplish my job.

It's funny because I didn't realize how institutionalized I had become until I got out. When my phone rings or my email dongs I instantly prepare for the worse. Then I see a nice email just saying hello or making sure I have everything I need. Or it's someone on the phone being nice. I'm not used to that at all. I created a journal, posted it, had my supervisor approve it, and then filed it all in the same hour! We closed February books last Monday. FEBRUARY!! If this were my old job, I'd still be doing December probably. :-)

But in all this glorious transition, things still feel weird. I feel like at any moment I'll have to go back to TSA and this will all be over, like a dream or something. I'm all moved in to my new office and everything but it still feels weird. Maybe it can be likened to moving into a new house. It just takes time before it feels like home to you. Then again, I'm not sure TSA ever was home to me.

All in all I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I made the right decision for me. Anyway - I'm going to get back to work, I have a nice big fun list to work on. AND GUESS WHAT!!! I actually get to be THE key player in the budget process! Isn't that fun! And I get to organize the next audit. And so many other things that pertain to the real "meat and potatoes" of accounting. I'm so happy. :-)

I Can Exercise Again!

Today marks my *almost* 4 weeks post op. I celebrated by participating in a St. Patty's Day Dash with HG and the Hub and of course Mr. Man. We walked just over 3 miles in just over an hour! YEAH!! I can stand straight up now and move with ease. My scar has almost completely scabbed over. All in all I say I'm doing fantastic.

Now that I know I can handle mild exercise, I'm going to start getting back into a routine again. I think I'll start tomorrow morning with some yoga. We'll see how I feel after a full day's work to see if I should up the anty. After work I have plans to have drinks with LR and then go shopping at Captial Hill. I'm looking for a new edgy outfit and something for Patty's Day next Saturday.

We saw 300 on Saturday - awesome movie. There was all sorts of sweaty Spartan hotness to have. Even the guys had some eye candy though I'm not sure what I think about some aspects. Anyway - great movie, great soundtrack, great times.

I started my second MBA class, so far so good. I'm one of the leads for this week so I'll have some homework to do, but nothing too crazy. I think I will have an A in my 1st class, not confirmed though.

That's all for now, I've got to get back to homework and Quickbooks. And I'm sure I have a thousand other things I need to do.

HATERS!

Dude - TSA is a hater! They didn't pay me for my vacation time! So I put in some calls and hopefully it will all get worked out.

Anyway - new developments: first couple days at TH and budding relationship with Zac. So my first couple days at TH have been awesome!! It feels so good to get back into a "normal" work environment and culture. People talk about their lives and everyone seems so friendly and there are all sorts of invites to go places together as a business and as friends. When people leave, there are "toasts" were food and beverage are enjoyed by all with fellowship. Not people packing their crap in boxes and being ignored. I've been in a cubicle till my predecessor leaves and was listening to Dane Cook and couldn't control my laughing. I was doing my best to muffle it, but I guess my cube-mates thought I was crying so they came to check on me. It was funny when we all realized what happened. They thought I was so upset about the job I was crying. Silly gals, but it was so sweet to know that they cared. The work is definitely managable and challenging, but in the good way. I'm just so happy and everyday I feel like I made the right decision.

Zac: So after a couple days going back and forth on email, Zac and I chatted last night on the phone. We talked for awhile about the past and what's happened. He's not having a good time right now due to a motorcycle accident. Poor guy. As it were, I need to go to PDX for training so I think I'll stop by and say hello to my long lost puppy love friend. It wil be nice to see him in person and talk and hopefully entertain him. As in keep him company and make him laugh. Sounds like he could use a few good stories and I've got those for days.

So I was totally supposed to do all this stuff such as:
FAFSA
Call CIT - 800-721-4006, acct #, pymt made 2/27 via phone w/ Jamie #
Call 24 Hr Fitness, 800-432-6348
Homework
Quickbooks
Mail nano and taxes
Write letters to TSA officers
3-Day event email and post to blog
Email Melissa about 3 mile walk, sex, when can I bend backwards
Reschedule hair and dentist
Get Dane's rings fitted

And I haven't done anything. MySpace and iTunes are soaking up all my spare time! I guess tomorrow I can make some calls on the way to work, mail the nano and taxes at the post office by HG's house, email Melissa from work, do my homework and QB tomorrow night, the FAFSA and letters on Sunday after the walk. And Sat will be school, wedding dress then 300 (that looks like an AWESOME movie!). Sunday is the St. Patty's Day walk. Then next weekend is the St. Patty's Day party and hangover recovery. The following week/weekend will be PDX.

I need to focus on my April Fools Day prank to Dane this year. What to do, what to do....What did I do last year? I don't think I did anything...I must have done something. I'm going to post this so I can see what I did. I know Nick toilet papered our house. *frown* OH!! I know - we went to his boss's party. As we were leaving, I had his immediate boss pressure him into doing straight shots of real tequila. His boss took the first swig and was CHUGGING it! He must have taken about 3 shots worth then he gave it to Dane and of course Dane had to follow suit and so he winces and goes to take a shot of the hard stuff. About half way through the shot he puts the bottle down, confused, and we all bust out "APRIL FOOLS!!" The bottle was emptied long ago and filled with water. Good times. I can't remember what Dane did to me though. Dane can't either. Now I'm back to reviewing my blog again. Anyway - ideas for jokes?

A New Day

I have never in my life experienced a physical shift in appearance at the same time that I was experiencing a mental shift in character. It seems to me that my changes on the outside are almost an externalization of what I feel on the inside. Everything is happening all at once it's almost daunting to consider each and every piece. Perhaps it's like pulling a band-aid off all at once vs. delicately and slowly. Considering all that's going on, I think I do prefer the quick method.

To get everyone (okay - really just me) up to speed, this is what is going on: I've shed my TSA skin and start a new job tomorrow as the head of the accounting department at Treehouse. I've just completed my first course in my Master's degree program. I've just finalized the details on the wedding in July. I've agreed to go on a backpack/bicycling trip to Europe (okay - really Amsterdam) with the Amazing Amy in May (Amy you rock: I O U)! And I've course I just did some major changes to the ol physique. I chat you up on each subject individually.

1. TSA to TH: I'm so nervous and scared to start TH. They are so excited to have me and I know they expect great things from me and I'm so happy to be there and excited to do good things, I just hope I can live up to my reputation and the expectations. I hope I exceed their expectations. The budget is less than 5 mil, which I can do in my sleep. Even at C&C (which was around 3 mil) I had 2 501c3's and 2 501c4's. TSA was just a monstrousity all around from policies, company language, accounting procedures, dynamic, etc. If I can learn how to do the job at TSA, then I can do anything. On the flip side, I'm scared. I have one accounting assistant who is in/around my age so I think I may take the "friends" approach with her at first. I don't want to be her micro manager, I want to be a good manager but I also expect help and results. I got a couple of extra suits from Dressbarn (shitty name - NO woman's clothing store should have the name "barn" in it - whose silly idea what that?!) that were marked from $140 to $50 and one was actually $20! Then I got some scarves for $4 each. Total deal. I can't wait to wear them! Even with my swelling I fit in a size 12. And if I'm lucky enough to drop another size or two then I can donate the suits to Dress for Success. Or pin them to fit. Anyway, we'll see how it goes. I'm so excited and scared at once. What a huge step for me!

2. So the first MBA class wasn't so bad. We got an extra extension on our paper, so now I can slack off even more. :-) The teacher was cool - I hope to have him again in a smaller class setting. He's spicy, but just the right amount of spicy. The work wasn't so bad either, I was (and still am) expecting more but after this class I'm not as scared of the possibility of me being able to do this or not. I know I can now. It will be work, but I can do it. I'm so glad I have a buddy to go with me. I have a lot of fun with HG in class farting around. We are really different in class - I'm forever speaking out and HG is always quiet and reflective. I'm sure it makes for a fun dynamic for others. I can already see a HUGE difference between BA and MBA work. It's a good shift though and I love hearing from others about their experiences. It helps me to become a better manager.

3. With Mom in town we finalized all the details on the wedding. I think I mentioned this before in a post but I'll say it again. I think I even have my wedding dress picked out. I actually need to make the final decision on that soon. And pick the colors. I also got our wedding bands. I got my nice, vintage looking ring with a pave-type setting on the sides and some side diamonds - very classy. Then I was going to get Dane a band and a nice watch (because he believes that women get all the fun with the wedding jewelry and men don't get anything) but I found an AMAZING white gold ring with 3 baguette diamonds in it. It's all modern and manly looking and I instantly fell in love. Then I noticed some Triston or Trition or something like that "almost indestructible" black rings. For the price, I figured I could get him the black, durable band for everyday use and then he could bust out the power ring for nice occasions. I was nervous that Dane wouldn't like the rings (I bought them on the last day of a sale) but he fell in love with them too. Except he likes the power ring so much that he wants to wear that everyday and only wear the black one for manly occasions like camping, 4x4ing, fixing the car, etc. Whatever -they're his rings. I'm just glad he likes them.

4. So Amy is AWESOME dude! I think a few things happened that prompted the vaca invite from Amy. She got her passport, she's having a b-day in May, and she's a little restless. She sent me an email sometime last week asking if I'd be interested in a trip to either Europe or the Caribbean. Knowing that all my dough is tied up in the wedding, Amy offered her help in the form of an IOU. I couldn't say "No" to that so I said "I'd prefer Euro over Carib since we are going to Mexico in July anyway." So she said "Let's do Amsterdam or Spain." And I fell in love with Amsterdam. My second choice would have been Scotland or Ireland I think. But Amsterdam is the first choice and we love the idea of taking nothing but a backpack and bicycling around the country or just staying in one spot. We don't know, the only plan at this point is to arrive at 8 am on Saturday May 26th and leave the following Friday. No hotels to book, no tickets to buy, no car to rent. Nothing. Just meet and greet in the airport and go from there. I love it! What I like most about the idea of this trip is some quality girl time with Amy, just us, and that it will be like a vacation that I probably wouldn't have with Dane. And that's not a bad thing, it just means Dane would be miserable biking across Holland. I, on the other hand, look forward to it. Dane wanted to go to Europe first with me but I think he understands what an amazing opp this is for me and wouldn't want to stand in the way.

5. And last, but not least, the ol body. I'm still not supposed to make judgements but I love what Dr. Egrari has done for me! He deserves his Bentley and much much more! So even though I fit in a 12, it is still uncomfy to wear pants with buttons and zippers for a long time so when we went to the Noc Noc, I wore a sarong and a tank top type thing with a built in bra but not underwire (I can't wear underwire for 6 weeks post op) for support. And I did look pretty. I haven't felt or looked pretty (to me) in years. It was awesome. Even if I am the only one who notices and cares, the choice I made was the right one just in what it has done for me and my mental image of me. I'm sure some would say that I didn't need the surgery or that it was frivilous to go so far, and perhaps they are right. But on the flip side, I'm so glad I did go through with the surgery and I would do it again in a heartbeat. I'm nervous about how part of my incision is closing but the Doc says not to worry, so I guess I wont. And even if it doesn't fix itself, I still look great all around. I think I need more protein. I just don't get enough being vegan. I should go make myself a protein shake and take a nap. :-) When are they going to come out with protein pills?

Upcoming posts: so I have some ideas to post coming up here soon. One is "People I still think about", introduction of my 3-Day participation (a very special post), and of course pics. Dane and I actually took some the other day that I may post, even though it's less than two weeks post op and I have a lot of swelling, you can see a huge difference. I can't wait to start exercising again too. Anyway - more to come as the week wears on especially on my new job!

I Feel Pretty - Oh So Pretty!

Dane and I are going to the Noc Noc tonight to see LR's performance, I guess it's going to be recycled next week. Anyway - it's my first time out all pretty after surgery and honestly in a while. It feels like since living in WA going to clubs and bars and just out in general has become the rare and not the norm. Not that there's anything wrong with that, that's just what growing up is, but I do miss it at times.

So today I feel pretty. I got my first round of highlights gearing up to become blond again (though this time gradually not drastically) in time for the wedding. I still have a lot of swelling and have no idea what I can wear that wont hurt me or show my garments or whatever but I will put my eyes on and get all dressy. I haven't felt pretty in a long time. Actually it's been years. I can't wait to get dressed and go out. And I guess we are in for a show tonight, LR says there is a special headliner so the show will be packed. We need to get there early!

Went to Applebee's with Mom and RBMBA today. It was nice to see RBMBA but mom and I weren't on our best behavior. I felt bad but RB seemed to understand and take it in stride. We are going to see a movie this weekend and I'm really looking forward to that. I haven't spent time with her in a while.

And for the record - Applebee's puts bacon and eggs on their "house salad". I've worked at over 3 restaurants and eaten at a few more than that and to me "house salad" has always meant 3 wilted pieces of lettuce, a wrinkled cucumber, an over-ripe tomato, and 2 croutons. Every once in a while you find a restaurant that springs and puts two slivers of cheese on the "house salad" so just in case I said "no cheese" please. When I got my "house salad" I was shocked to see bacon and eggs - to me, that makes it a traditional cobb salad! So I felt bad for returning it to the kitchen but in my defense there was no description of the "house salad" on the menu and most "house salads" don't come with all the fixins. Dane's right - whenever I got to a restaurant I just need to say "I'm a vegan, is this "house salad" free of all animal products?" or what have you.

Anyway - I'm off to get pretty, oh so pretty. :-)

Exit Interview Paperwork

*don't forget to read "The Right Thing" post first (just below this post), otherwise this wont make sense*

1. What was your opinion of: (Excellent, Good, Fair, Poor)
Your salary = poor
Your hours = good
Assigned duties & workload = poor with comment: "OVERLOADED FOR MONTHS, not days or weeks"
Supervision = no rating with comment: "Under RB, supervision was excellent."
Working conditions = fair with comment: "DHQ was always understaffed in my 1.5 yrs there. For me personally it was an environment that I could only fail in."
Fellow employees = excellent (I didn't mention it on the form, but now that TB is gone things are okay and an exit interview is not the place to point out DM's and KB's flaws)

2. Did you receive adequate job training? Yes with comment: "From HG and RB"

3. Have you obtained another position? Yes

If so, does it have:
Better pay? Yes with comment: "by about $##,###/yr"
Shorter hours? Same
Better benefits? Yes with comment: "100% paid med/den/STD/LTD/401k/403b, and volunteer opportunities"

4. Will you be doing the same kind of work? Yes

5. What were the reasons that influenced you to leave your present employment?
In this order:
1) How the issues surrounding TB's resignation developed, specifically the witch-hunt for RB and the investigator/investigation.
2) Having the opportunity to volunteer with Major Sargents at the Toy 'N Joy for Cmas '06 revoked without any say in the matter despite my pleading.

6. Do you have any suggestions where you feel improvement should/could be made?
Would they be taken seriously? If so - please call me, I DO have some suggestions. *phone number*

7. Do you have any abilities or skills that you feel were not used?
All of them. (though this is a slight exaggeration, I may one-line cross that out so you can still see it but write "Yes" over it) I am moving into "Accounting Manager" position at my new job with the confidence that I can actually do accounting work and not circle payables all day and open mail.

8. Have you returned all Army property? Yes

9. Are you interested in any on-call work? Yes

10. Do you need COBRA? Maybe

11. Where should we mail your W2? *address*

12. Do you have any work injuries? No

13. Have you had any work injuries? No

Passwords: blah blah blah

Additional comments: "I loved working for the Army and I love the people with all my heart. And when I got to do the CFA accounting duties, I loved the work. However, it was too much work for too long with no reward or even recognition. I am sad to leave the Army but happy that I have left on good terms. Thank you for everything. I will miss everyone."

Crystal Ewers

The Right Thing

I totally feel like I've done the right thing with TSA in regards to my employment and resignation. I wish I could have had the opportunity to hand over a cleaner set of books but that was out of my hands. I'll elaborate:

2/26/07 around 9 am

Group of folks: Crystal - wow, what are you doing here? I thought you were taking Monday off?
CJE: Oh, I had to reschedule my thing for Wed so I'll be off on Wed.
Group: Oh. okay. *uncomfortable shuffle*
CJE: Well, I'm gonna put my stuff down and wait for Karen to tell me what to do.
Group: *all at once* Yeah I gotta...... Oh my phone is ringing....... Hey Bob - do you have that......

~time passes while KB leisurely gets in to the office~

CJE: Good morning Karen - how would you like me to spend the next two weeks?
KB: *blink blink* What are you doing he...Did you not get the letter?
CJE: *laughs* I guess not. Did it say "Eff you, don't come to work anymore?"
KB: Well I wouldn't go that far but in light of your surgery and mom being in town we just decided to go ahead and pay you in lieu of.
CJE: Right on. Now I can spend time with mom and get some stuff done.

And the conversation continued on from there. I explained things to KB and ate my breakfast and took my time getting out of there. I said goodbye to everyone, the worst was Demetri. I will REALLY miss him so much. Then I yanked HG from her work (sorry HG, I really am) but I made up for it by buying her a soy mocha. We chatted real quick about the goings on and the coming week. It was kinda sad knowing that was my last time there (other than when I come bother her to take her to lunch).

Apparently there was a letter sent to me on Friday after my and Mom's visit to TSA. I guess with my note, my 80 year old lady walk, and everything else they felt they should just pay me out and say good riddens. So they sent me an overnight Saturday delivery package with said letter and exit interview paperwork. The letter was delivered sometime after 9:30 this am. I guess UPS does not deliever to these parts on Saturday.

Time to go - Exit Interview to be posted later today. :-)

DREAD

I'm dreading going back to work. Probably mostly because I'm done with TSA and don't want to deal with the Douche and I don't know what awaits me there and I'm not quite sure what they will have me do with my two weeks: payables and grunt work or real accounting work. Honestly, I'm not even sure what I want to do. I imagine the best thing for me to do is to wrap up and journals and GL messes that I am aware of and pass on a clean set of books to the gals. If I had it my way, I would not deal with the corps operations at all the next two weeks. OR I would do nothing but deal with the corps operations while the more energetic gals worked on the hard stuff. I'll let the Douche decide what she, in all her wisdom (sarcasm), wants me to do.

I AM glad to have the time to say my goodbyes and cleanup and to get back into the swing of business after the surgery. I've been in La La Land for the past two weeks so I will need something familiar to get back on track. Then I can start TH fresh and hopefully with the energy needed to tackle the challenges that wait for me there.

I'm REALLY scared/nervous. I'm constantly second guessing myself and my capabilities. I hope I have what it takes to make it in this position. I'm determined to make it work. I just can't believe that after all this time and all I've been doing to get to this point its finally here. I'm shocked. I plan to spend the next two weeks familiarizing myself with the Financial Edge (a derivative of Blackbaud/Raiser's Edge) software so I can hit the ground running. I really need to be on my A game. I plan on going to Dress Barn and getting some nice outfits for work. I'm also going back to blond (kinda - maybe just highlights), and getting my nails done again. I want to feel pretty again. Admittedly I was spending a lot on my hair and nails but I kinda like doing those things for myself. I have a much better attitude when I feel sexy and the past year has been kinda dark for me (cite reference this blog). Apparently blonds really do have more fun. :-P At least this blond anyway.

So iPods are entirely too much fun. Dane got me a $50 gift certificate to iTunes for V-day and I've been tearing it up. I've gotten everything from Testament (Return to Serenity) to Rage Against the Machine, Kelly Clarkson, Queen, Garbage, Beyonce, Gwen Stefani - you name it. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my iPod. I would wear it 24/7 if I could. I'm pissed I didn't get the iPod pillow at Bed, Bath, and BeBlond for $9.99 when I had the chance.

Having my mom in town has been fun and of course greatly needed. I will say that I am disheartened at her lack of willingness to try new things. Such as a sushi place. They even had "regular" food on the menu and we told her that but she was still stubborn not to even step foot in the place. I got pissed, Dane got pissed, Mom got pissed, it was not happy times. We finally went and Mom conceded to look at the menu (which is all I ever asked for), decided it wasn't for her, and went next door to have a good ol American beefy, cheesy Philly cheesesteak. Whatever. Dane and I like the sushi place because they have a plethora of vegan options as well as meaty options for Dane so it's one of the few places Dane and I can eat at and both be happy. In the end it all worked out but it definitely dampered the mother/daughter spirits. Mom's been spoiling the cats by giving them wet cat food (something they haven't had in almost two years) and claiming they are starving. All our cats are well over 10 lbs with auto-feeders and water. They can eat any time they want, day or night. So now the cats HOUND her - it's quite amusing.

Today we settled for Italian food - who can't find something they like at a pasta place. We also drove to Alki Point (just West of Seattle, across the Sound) to look at the views and go for a drive. Now its all I can do to stay awake. I don't want to nap cause then I wont be able to sleep tonight. So I'm staying up till 8 then crashing out so I can work tomorrow. I get to wear track suits to work cause I can't fit into my regular work clothes. Well, I might be able to by now, but it's hard with the swelling and it hurts to have buttons and zippers right on my scar.

Surgery/recovery update: my stitches come out on Wed. They gave me a cream to put on my scar to help with something, who knows. Every day Dane and I take pics of the scars so I can look at them closely (via camera) and say things like "Ehhh" and "Gross!" and "What's that?!" and "Pull the thread of gauze" or "Pop the zit!" All of which Dane ignores and continues his nurse like duties. My boobs hurt. I guess now that the swelling is going down somewhat and they are adjusting to their new size, the skin is getting stretched and complaining so it's very tender. Also, the weirdest thing, I can feel on the inside of the boob a reaction to cold or what have you, but there is no reaction on the surface! I'm told this is normal and eventually my nips will have reaction again. I guess a boob lift is like botox for nips. They are permenantly stuck in the "everything's okay" position. I'm still VERY swollen (according to the Doc and nurse) in my hip/belly area. They say I should expect a lot more shrinkage, which is AWESOME news - I thought I was done swelling but I guess it lingers for up to 3 months.

Which means shopping for a wedding gown is now more complicated. Basically I can't buy anything new till about May or June and that puts me to less than 60 days from the wedding which means any alterations will have to be rush and since Mom is in CA and can't do it for me, I will have to pay some clown in the WA area to do it AND it will cost a bazillion dollars. I'm fixin to get married in a swimsuit afterall. :-P Mom and I made some crucial decisions on the wedding, we've got a lot of stuff buttoned up and only a few details left to make. I'm starting to get really excited now that it's coming together. Though I worry only about 3 people will show up. As it gets closer and closer to the date things keep coming up and I wonder if my buddies and family will make it. My sister already dropped out. Whatever. I hope that people will come. It would devastate me if certain people were not there but at the same time I've got to move forward and enjoy the day for what it truly is: my union with the man I love. We've got some awesome stuff planned for our guests though, so those who are coming - you will NOT be disappointed. We are going the extra mile to make sure it is worth every penny.

Recovery Stage 2

Well it's almost a week and a half since the surgery and I am completely off the pain meds - can you believe that! What hurts the most these days is my back. I still have to walk like an 80 year old lady and sleep on my back so muscles that normally don't support me have been and they are angry about it. Other than that, things are fine. They took my drains out on Tuesday. If I could liken that to anything it would probably be what it would feel like (on a mild scale) to be disemboweled. Figure after about a week some of my inside body tissue had started forming to the tubes thinking it was a new part of my body. Well, when those tubes were yanked from my insides (Dane says they were a good 10 inches up in my abdominal) the tissues that started binding the tubes to my innards where severed. You can imagine how that felt. I let out a few cuss words but after a few minutes everything calmed down and I was okay again. But I'll be a happy camper if I never have to experience anything like that again.

After my doc appointment on Tuesday, Dane left for work in Olympia and Nick came over to care for me and switch cars. My mom was due in town that evening and can't drive clutch so Nick offered us his automatic Mustang. Well no sooner did he get here did he go into some sort of shock and I had to care for him till his dad got here and take him to the ER. Turns out he now has tonsilitis (he just recovered from menengitis) and a possible blood clot in his lungs. So that sucked because I was supposed to stay relatively inactive and ended up caring for poor Nick. Who is doing okay but still in the hospital. Dane had to come home to care for me but by the time he got home in traffic, it was time for him to pick up my mom. Once my mom was in town we stayed up till 1 talking about anything and everything. It is really great to have her here to help and care for me the way that only moms can do.

Yesterday we actually went to the mall and grocery store which was way more activity than I should have done and I was exhausted. Then HG picked me up for a team meeting. That was cool to be back in the land of the living and coherent. Today I've been off the pain meds and doing my homework, emails, and Mom and I made some crucial wedding detail decisions. We are going to look at wedding dresses tomorrow. I can't try any on cause my body is still changing and morphing but we can figure out what I like and if it's possible for my mom to remotely tailor my gown because I will definitely be a unique size after all this surgery.

In other news I got a call this am from my CEO at Treehouse (TH) and I guess my boss, the Director of Admin Barbara, has resigned! So her last day will be in March and she will work with me to transition and make everything as smooth as possible, but that came as a shock to me. I was really looking forward to working with her. But Janis, my CEO, made it clear they were very excited for me to start and ensured me I would have every resource made available to help me excel in every way. We even discussed the accounting software training. I elected to have the consult come help me after I've gotten my feet wet a bit so I know what questions to ask rather than have him train me from the get go - I'm a smart gal, I can stumble my way through a lot without too much assistance. I asked if I could bring my mom by the office and she said that would be wonderful and overall I'm just so happy to be starting there soon -what a great opportunity. AND I guess I will be a part of the hiring process for the new Director of Admin - I'm gonna hire my new boss! How crazy is that! I HAVE A VOICE AGAIN!!!!!

I got a call from a coworker today that unfortunately I couldn't help out too much (at TSA). She says she misses me already and is really overwhelmed with all the work. I guess another employee took the week off (God knows how she got that approved, it wasn't planned though so I hope everything is okay). So now there are two gals keeping the 30+ corps at DHQ moving along. Wow. I feel bad for them. I'm still sad to be leaving. But I'm so happy it's on good terms.

So I'm not supposed to make any judgements till at least four weeks (and I wont post any pics till I'm healed - they're pretty nasty right now) but I can say this. WOW!!!! I'm absolutely stunned at the results. The night I went to surgery my measurements were 41/37/48 and I weighed in at 170 (amazing because last I checked I was 180 so all this vegan dieting and exercising must be doing something). Today, with my garments on and gauze underneath and still a moderate amount of swelling that will take a few weeks to subside, my measurements were 42/34/44. The Doc took 3 inches off my waist and 4 inches off my hips! And I'm still pretty swollen. The Doc and everyone expect me to calm down to about 40 inches at the hips over the next few weeks. As I continue to diet and exercise, I should drop at least another 1 - 2 inches (if not more) between April and the wedding. Amazing. Now bra size is a little different. I was a 38C before surgery but I wasn't a "full" C cup. I tried putting on my bra last night (over my garments so as not to harm my still healing bossom) and there is no way that bra will fit. First of all it's too big around, so I probably will drop to a 36 or 34. And the C cup is too small, so I will have to upgrade to a D cup. The thought of being a 34D has me grinning from ear to ear. Call it selfish, call it foolish, call it materialistic, call it vain, call it whatever you want - you're right! But I'm still happy. :-)

When I lay down now, the boobs stay in place. I have no belly - it's flat. No rolls, no creases, no flabby skin - nothing. I've never layed down and been able to see my hips and all my parts - it looks and feels so good! And (for as grafic as this may be) I have a vagina again! Now that my belly is gone and the skin is pulled tight - I have "normal" junk. And let me tell you how good THAT is!! It just looks and feels so much better. I'm not even all healed and I still have WEEKS to go and I'm already this pleased. I think that I made a good decision and I would do it again in a heartbeat. Yeah, sure - it's going to cost a lot of money and it was a bit extreme, but what a difference.

Dane can't wait for me to get better. He's anxious (as am I) to try everything out. He's been afraid to touch me because he doesn't want to hurt me so last night he took his first poke at my boobie. He was immediately enthralled. They don't really look or feel unnatural, just full. That's the best way to describe it.

I also discovered that my PAP came back abnormal and I need a colposcopy (again). LAME. So I have to work out getting that done but the challenges are: I'm still healing from surgery, I have transitioning insurance, and a new job to consider. Dane and I are trying to design things so that we wont have to go months and months without any loving but things are difficult. In light of these discoveries and with my IUD expiration we've decided that Mr. Man is going to get a vasectomy. He doesn't want to talk about it. :-) That's what he says but he knows, logically, that it's the best thing we can do. He just doesn't want to think about knifes being down there. I told him it'd be okay and to hand me more gauze for my oozing stitches and scars. :-)

That's all for now, more as the weekend develops with stories of mom, the wedding dress, the doctor appointments, and so on!

Recovery

So today has been the first day that I've felt competent enough to get my thoughts onto the computer. It's also the first day that I've felt comfortable enough to do so.

I actually got a good night's rest on Sunday figuring it would be the last time I would sleep soundly in a long time. Woke up Monday morning on time, showered, and got dressed. We were only 5 minutes late to Dr. Egrari's office which wasn't so bad. We spent a few minutes in the pre-op room going over my anesthesia, the procedure itself, and recovery. Then the doc marked me up for operating - I looked like a blank paint by numbers palate. Then Dane and I got to spend a few minutes alone before surgery. They gave me a warm blanket to wrap up in, which was nice. When it was time to go to the op room they let me give Dane one last kiss and then led me in to the room. The op bed was warmed over with comfy sheets. I crawled right in and was immediately at ease. They put some funky stuff in my IV and I started feeling silly. They asked me how I felt and I said happy and then looked at the operating lights and listened to the soft music in the background and felt like I was on Nip/Tuck. Minutes later I awoke to applesauce and pills being fed to me. I was in a lot of pain and dazed. I asked for Dane and wasn't sure what happened and why I didn't get the surgery done. The nurses assured me the surgery was done and went well and I was coming out of my daze. I spent the next hour or so in and out lying on the table telling myself that with each minute my pain was less and less. Finally it was time for me to leave and they made me walk to the car which was very painful. Lucky for me HG let me borrow her truck as my car was too low and Dane's truck was too high, but her truck was just right. It hurt to move and go home and I wondered whose idea this was and how I could possibly bear 2 weeks of this.

Once home Dane fed me more pain killers and I went to sleep. I really don't remember much of the first few days except a lot of sleeping, tv, and feeling shitty. My garment got off-kilter so when HG took care of me yesterday we made an impromptu appointment for me to go in and get it fixed since I kept peeing on myself (gross). And Dane accidently grabbed a bag of frozen mushrooms instead of peas to put on my chest and when they thawed out they smelt HORRIBLE!! So bad I almost vomited - not good after abdomnioplasty (sp?). So HG took me to my appointment and they changed my banadages and gave me a bigger garment since the one I had before was too small and I was VERY swollen. I guess because I'm a vegan and can't get as much protein it makes me more suseptible to swollen. I was so disstended you could see that I hadn't had a bowel movement. After that they washed my hair and cleaned me up nice and pretty. I guess Dr. Egrari's office is one of the few, if only, plastic surgeon office that does things like that for their patients which I think is genius. So on the way home HG got me some veggie protein supplement and milk of magnesia. I spent all last night on the toilet refusing to eat or drink till I got rid of the crap in my body. It was a long battle and by the time it was over I just wanted to sleep. Seriously, in all this hack and slash of my body - the worst pain has been the constipation and then the bowel movement.

Today was the first day I've really felt alive enough to complete some thoughts. I've slept a lot today, got my posting done, read through email, and even did this blog. Though I can tell I'm beat. We've transitioned me to my medium weight drugs with 5 hour spreads instead of 4. I still live in my hospital gown and robe. I still have drains attached to my belly, those will probably come out on Tuesday - I'm scared for them to pull those out - that will be hell. Boo has been absolutely adorable!! She will not leave my side. She has slept on my legs since Monday and when Dane tries to take her off so I can get up, she forcibly jumps back into position. She follows me to the bathroom and makes sure I'm okay at all times. Dane has been doing an amazing job too. Our relationship has definitely been taken to the next level. I've asked him to do things I never would have dreamed and he has lovingly obliged. The poor guy - and he's been able to take most of this week to work from home so he can care for me - I'm so lucky. He has apologized several times for acting out before the surgery and been nothing but caring and loving. He even gets up from WOW when I ask him to no matter who he's battling. :-)

My mom is flying in town on Tuesday evening. Dane needs to get back to work and I fear I will still need care at home so we are flying her out here. It will be nice to have her here and I"m sure Dane will love the reprieve.

All in all things are going very well. Every day I get more and more mobile. Every day I hurt less and less. I really have to thank God, my family, and friends for all the wonderful support and blessings I've been given throughout all of this. I'm a lucky gal.

I do have a scar that runs from hip to hip, like all the way across - not just in the middle. But it's low. I also have a flat belly. I've NEVER had a flat belly. And right now my boobs are HUGE!!! Most of it is swelling, but man are they biggens. And they sit straight up in the air. As HG and Dane said - "they are definitely not your old boobs." I'm sure they look all Frankenstein like but that will fade with time.

For now I have a paper to write tomorrow. A team paper to write on Sunday or so and another individual assignment due next week. Those are my biggest challenges. Next I have some work to accomplish for TSA and I want to play around with TH's books and Blackbaud before I go to work there. A lot of stuff going on. My next doc appointment is on Tuesday and then again on Monday the 26th. Wish me luck!

I will post pics soon!

Surgery Fears

I'm nervous, anxious, scared, and a teensy bit excited about the surgery tomorrow. My fears are showing in odd ways too. As long as I keep busy, I'm okay but the second I stop or lay down for the evening, my brain runs rampant with crazy thoughts and everything I have to do and all the stress of work, learning a new job, my MBA, people in class, my friends, my family, the pain - everything. With all the maddness in my head it's hard to be affectionate or passionate with Dane. He's very upset about this and told me as much last night for about two hours. That only added to the stress that I feel and really made me feel like a piece of shit for everything.

Basically he thinks I owe him for what I'm calling on him to do. I thought that family and friends were there to take care of you in your time of need. I know that if he or any one of buddies or family members needed me to help them, I would be there in a heartbeat. So now I'm reconsidering all that I've asked of Dane and my other friends. I feel like I owe it to them to take back all the requests I've made. I guess this is something I really need to do myself. It was my choice to have this surgery and I shouldn't make it anyone else's concern.

Sometimes things are just more hassle than their worth.

The Breakup

I broke up with TSA today. It is with mixed emotion that I resigned and even write this blog. I love the Army, I love what I do, I love most of the people, I would have loved to stay. I just couldn't do it anymore. I wish they would have listened to me sooner. I wish they wouldn't have treated RBMBA the way they did. I wish for a lot. It's sad because the Swede asked several times if I would reconsider but I told him we were beyond that (though I didn't say it in those words).

Surprisingly (or maybe not) they accepted my resignation and will allow me to take my sick time and come back to button up my books. It's not good timing and we are all sad but what's done is done. I'm very grateful they are letting me leave on good terms and say goodbye to my friends at the office. We've all had enough drama the past two months, no one needs any more. I can tell a huge weight has been lifted and there is no more pressure or tension.

I feel very much inside like I just broke up with someone. I feel like it has been a long time coming and we all knew it was going to happen. Now that it has actually happened though, we are all a little shaken. Even me. I think it will take some time to "grieve" if you will. Perhaps closure is a better word. I'm sure in no time I'll be back to being excited about Treehouse, which I am.

It felt good to be honest with TSA. I started to feel kinda crummy about knowing I was leaving but not giving them a heads up while I was recooping. This way I got to give them notice, have a clear conscious/conscience (I never remember which spelling it is), start TH on time, and leave TSA on excellent terms.

For now I've downloaded Kelly Clarkson's Breakaway, Psyche's Goodbye Horses (think Silence of the lambs and lipstick - I'll post a likeness pic), and Gwen Stefani's The Sweet Escape for sulking purposes.

Here's my best he-bitch impression (even Silent Bob from Clerks II is in the background):

"Ooooh"

Happy Birthday to ME!!

This year was infinitely better than last year's birthday (trip to Hawaii not included). For starters, I got offered a position at Treehouse for quite a bit more money than I currently make plus a bonus if I stay over a year. I'm so excited to start this new job!! It will be so nice to have reasonable working conditions and deadlines. And it will be nice not working for a douche (KB not RBMBA). I get to be a douche to someone else now. :-) Actually I hope I will be a good manager, I'm very much in touch with what it's like to be on the receiving side. I got my wedding time off approved, paid or unpaid - it's my choice. Benefits are 100% paid for and start the 1st day of the month after my start date. I don't get as much PTO or tuition reimbursement though, but the cash in my pocket is worth it. If all goes well with surgery and my TSA resignation, I will start TH on March 12th or thereabouts. I'm really, really excited. And it's apart of my "work schedule" to tutor the kids as part of the in-house tutor program!! Imagine that, encouragement to volunteer for the company I work for, not taking that priviledge away from me!!!

Today was spent reflecting leaving TSA. I will be sad to leave a lot of people/corps. And then there are some people that I wont be sad to leave. As an extra stinger, the Swede and the Douche were almost civil and pleasant to me today.

HG and I split a vegan cake for my b-day then went to the spa after work. It was a nice decompressor and gave us time to chat about my leaving and resignation. I hope she doesn't get into any mess for "knowing and not telling". Though she will tell them that I didn't tell her if they press the issue.

I came home to Dane cooking our dinner, what a nice guy! He got me a few b-day gifts (everything I wanted). And he purchased the same congratulatory card he got me for graduating college. Silly man! I love him.

Oh! FOY called me back. They offered me the position. I felt so bad that I had to decline, but she took it well and even genuinely congratulated me. She told me to keep them in mind "cause you never know what happens" and I really will. I do think Treehouse is the better option. Here's the link if you care to check out the website: http://www.treehouseforkids.org/index.htm

I will post more about turning 27 vs. 26 but I'm talking to my dad now, so I gotta go. :-)

The Offer

Hi Crystal,

Deborah shares our impression and also thinks you would be a great addition to the team. So, we would be thrilled to offer you this position. I would like to set up a time to meet with you on Monday to talk about the details. Do you have any time on Monday for a meeting?

My cell phone is BLAH. I am not available this evening but will be able to take a call on Saturday if you would like to set up a meeting time.

I look forward to speaking with you.

With respect,


Barbara Blah
Director of Admin
Treehouse

So after my 3:00 interview I picked up HG at DHQ and we went to the Japanese dollar store. I got a pan, stir-fry pan, oblong pan, colander, and a myriad of other items that I didn't need for about $15 total. It was awesome. I also got my cornicopia of drugs for my surgery. After that I dropped HG off and met Dane at Bamboo Garden for dinner. While I was waiting I picked up some material on veganism and animal rights and by the time Dane got there I was in tears with the torture of animals. We ordered our food (Bamboo Garden is a 100% vegan restaurant) and talked about our days and I was so happy that Dane was willing to at least try it out. But it still hurt me about the pictures and tutorials I read about the animals. When we got home we went upstairs and layed out all the information I had on both Treehouse and Friends of Youth (who has not gotten back with me but I know that they are still checking my references) and discovered the differences btwx the two companies. It boils down to TH being more education and advocacy based and FOY being more care/treatment/prevention based. So the decision lied in what I want to do, social work or legislative. As anyone who knows me will answer, I'm more interested in law and legislation. That and the general environments and culture of the companies, I've leaned more towards TH.

After discussing work I started getting upstet about animal cruelty and talking to Dane about the perils of eating meat and for extra emphasis I decided to bring up Peta's new investigation on PetSmart and the hampster/gerbil abuse. After reviewing the pictures and video with him I decided to check my email. Low and behold there was the email above. I'm shocked beyond words. Dane is so happy and proud. My parents are proud. RBMBA is proud. HG is happy. It has yet to hit me yet because now I have a serious responsibilty to perform. I have to call the Director tomorrow to schedule a meeting for Monday (my b-day). I think I will accept this job over the FOY job (should I even be offered that job). I will work out the details on Monday, but I don't think I will hand in my resignation till I get back from sick leave at the end of February.

I'm sad to leave the Army. I really am. I don't want to leave HG. I don't want to leave my units. But I can't work for LD and the Swede. I would have gone to the ends of the Earth for RBMBA. But no one else. ESPECIALLY LD!!! And THE SWEDE!!!!! Never. They don't deserve me. I refuse to make them look good. Dicks. NOPE. I'm leaving. Good riddens you fools. Treat RBMBA like that after TEN F*CKING YEARS?!?!?!!?? See ya. Good night. Bye. I still feel bad for my units that have nothing to do with this. :-( But TSA had a choice. They could have kept me. Dicks.

What should my resignation say?

The Plot Thickens!

Over last night and today I've slowly convinced myself that I probably will not get the job offer for FOY. It really would be AMAZING if I got offered a "head/lead" accounting manager position with no "true" manager or high-level experience. It's just not realistic. Though I am quite proud of myself for making it to the second round of interviews.

Then, HG tells me that she's on the phone with FOY and she's telling them that I suck. Alarmed I thought, "really? they called for my refs?" As it turns out, HG did not tell them that I suck, instead she gave me a good ref (or so she says....kidding). So that's gotta mean something, right? They wouldn't call on my refs unless I'm going to the next level, which at this point would be an offer as I've already met w/ the CEO/COO and Finance Committee Chair.

So I start serial checking my email, like every 5 minutes. What's this? An email at 3:45:
Hello Crystal ,

It has been so long since you came in to speak with us about the Senior Accountant position. Aafter we spoke with you, we thought immediately that you would be a good fit for the position, and we worried that your timing might not be great (with a two month lead time required.)

Our hiring process has stretched longer than anticipated so now we realize that we are able to work with your scheduling needs. Are you still interested in pursuing the accounting position here?

If so, we would be interested in speaking with you again. We would love to have you to meet our Development Director and a member of her staff.

Let me know if you would like to take the next step.

Thanks so much,
Barbara Bones
Treehouse

OMG - this is the company I interviewed for back in December!!! I literally fell out of my chair. I was stunned. I had convinced myself that I interviewed very youthful and just plain poorly. Turns out they actually liked me or have exhausted all avenues and are turning to the bottom of the barrel. Either way it works for me! So I emailed back and said (the gist of) Yes - I'd like to meet, I'm also interviewing elsewhere and may have an offer, how's Friday sound?

I'm anxious to hear back to see what they have to say. Virtually all things are equal, the job position (though one is called Senior Accountant and one is Accounting Manager - they are the same job requirements), supervisor, same (almost exact) mission. They differ in pay (one pays more than $10,000/yr than the other), benefits (one is 100%, one is 80%), one is 7 miles east and the other is 7 miles west, and I felt a little more at ease at one place than the other. All these things being considered, I'm still not sure which job I'd choose if offered. :-/ I'm hoping one option will put itself out there more than the other.

I'll be in Spokane tomorrow on TSA business. It will be a nice, but untimely break from the office. Overall it will be nice to work with Teresa and I plan to put the idea in her head that I want SPO to be more self-sufficient. My rationale is to put them in a better position when/if I leave without them really knowing what I'm doing. Lucky for me Teresa has been there awhile and will eat up this perceived "control" like a cat and fresh milk.

School is going well. People are chatty pattys though. Talk talk talk talk talk. Even *I* don't talk that much and that's saying A LOT! And this one chick has this stooooooopid tranny bee signature, I'll post it.....
(¯`v´¯)`*.¸.*´¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`• DRE

I mean seriously - this is an MBA program!! As HG said, this isn't community college. I posted a tip to my team that they should make substansive posts but keep it under 350 words. I thought I might have been stepping on the teacher's toes, but he actually responded "great recommendation" to the team folder. Which means he really is watching our conversations. Right on though, that's his job. Glad he's doing it.

Coming up: March 17th St. Patty's Day Blast. This will mark several occassions to party, least of which being St. Patty's Day. It will also be my birthday celebration, RBMBA's b-day celebration, RBMBA's and TJ's anniversary, my BOOB unveiling, and general re-tox after the de-tox. I'm so looking forward to it. As RBMBA said: "drink-drank-drunk". That's right!
So mark your calendars, even if only cyberly. March 17th, Fado's Irish Bar, 9am. Be there or be Scottish (originally I used Jewish but that didn't go over well with HG, so I've updated and PC-ified my phrase). :-)

Interview Detail

So the interview went well I think. I interviewed happy and cheerful but youthful. I think the Financial Committee chair-lady was endeared by me but I'm not so sure she's convinced I was the best candidate. Oh well, I made it to the finals, that's got to say something. I should know for sure by the end of this week.

The more I think about it, the less likely I believe it is for me to get the job due to my lack of experience. And I don't blame a company for that nor do I take it personally. I will get experience with each and every day.

The other thought to consider is: it's one thing to promote from within a candidate with no experience, but to hire someone off the street with no experience for a manager position, especially at a controller level is unheard of. I will be shocked if I get the job BUT I do believe I can do the job.

Anyway - I have a job, miserable as it may be, and I have nothing but time to get experience, education, and move up the ladder, though it seems like the ladder moving at TSA is not going to happen with LD on board. She hates me and I don't like her. I made another comment to her today. She's such a shitty manager. She gives me hope that I can be an awesome manager, even with no experience. Get this:

I popped my head in LD's office today when DM was in there and happily but concernly (if that's a word) said that DM was covering all but one of my 9 units while I was on sick leave. (I had told DM earlier that I don't care who you are, there's no way you can juggle KC fund, her "normal" back up units AND all of my units) And LD said "We aren't worried, we'll manage just fine. DM has an "S" on her chest." (presumably the "S" is for sucks as I'm sure it will be no problem at all for her to do nothing with my units while I'm gone, which is what she does for her units now). And I said "Wow, you guys are doing a great job at making me feel like I contribute nothing to the company." And then I smiled and walked away. LD and DM laughed and said "No, it's not like that, I meant Iwe can do it with help." And I just gave my best fake laugh. I'm not really bothered by it because I don't really think that they meant what I incinuated they meant but they still made it seem like I wouldn't be missed at all.

SOB's. They are some of the best examples of scheming, two-faced, back stabbing, passive-aggressive, no good hooligans. *frown*

Yep, it's definitely time to move on from the Army. This attitude can't be good.

Wish Me Luck!

I go in for my second interview with the financial committee tomorrow. I'm more excited than nervous. I'm worried that I might come off too excited and/or desparate. I have some ideas but I think I might wait to feel them out to see how I want to proceed.

I've got my hair done (it's in curlers now but will relax by tomorrow) and I can easily pull it back so as not to alert those not needing alerting to my interview. I even bought a suit. My old suits are too small for me and while it pained me to buy something that will not fit in a 2 weeks, I did get it on sale for over 60% off and it's nice enough I can wear it with other pants after the surg.

Wish me luck.

Over the weekend:

The weekend was nice. I did some work for TSA. I got into it with LD on Friday. I think my days are numbered there, whether I want them to be or not. If/when I do hand in my resignation, it will be nice to see the look on LD's face. What a f*cking piece dude. Anyway, her days are numbered too. I get the feeling that she is being given a lot of rope...to hang herself with. That's my prophecy anyway. For the company's sake, I hope she doesn't because I'd hate for TSA to lose out any more. Regardless of the powers that be, I think TSA is still a great organization that does good things.

Let's see - OH!! First day of school, first day of school! We have an abnormally large class (almost 30 peeps) so I'm sure we'll be split up next class. As usual, I'm one of the loudest. *BEAM* I'm tired of being ashamed of my outgoing attitude. I refuse to be anymore. Though I doubt anyone ever even cared. :-P I like our teacher, he's got just the right amount of spice. I think I will really enjoy our team too. A group of fairly young people with no kid-families. We all have significant others and wonderful pets, but no kids which will make it easier to meet and what not.

After class we went and saw RBMBA at her work. She was working on Sat so we brought her some lunch. I'm glad we got to see her. Now that we don't work together we don't get to see each other as often. Though we are planning a fabu Super Bowl Party.

Super Bowl = so it's the Indianapolis Colts vs. Da Bears. I don't particularly care for either team. Isis's father has a man-crush on Peyton Manning, so I get irritated (stoopid reason I know) easily with him and Da Bears are Da Bears. I guess my only beef with Da Bears might be that they just recently spanked the Hawks. However - they are a good team this year and they deserve to win, they haven't won anything since I was in high school, so good on them. Being that Da Bears are the team from the Hawks respective division, I should vote for them. OR should I vote for the Colts because they come from Denver's division. It's a tough call. In the end, I think I will settle this dilemma by voting for the underdog, which in this case is Da Bears, in my opinion.

So go Bears!!

Surgery is scary. It's right around the corner folks. I'm going to be hopped up on all sorts of meds such as Tylox, Viacadin, Valim, and a potpourri of other addictive items. I fully plan on making the most of the drugs and my paid sick time off so the plan is to be so high I have no idea what's going on. I will have HG and Mr. Man there to help out and my mom and/or dad might even make a visit. AWESOME!!!

! 11:00! I need to hit the sack! More later tomorrow evening.

Interview

Well I had an interview this afternoon that I think went very well. At least it went better than my Treehouse interview. If I had to guess by the body language and verbiage, I would say that I will at least get a call to a second interview. If not that, then I'm sure that I'm at least up on their rank list. That's just a feeling. I don't want to get my hopes up though. What will happen will happen.

I would be excited to take the job. It's like the perfect mix of TSA and C&C. It's all the new, growing nonprofit that C&C was with the mission of TSA. I would have the power to help a company grow again and develop policies and procedures not get lost in the "that's the way we've always done it" nonsense and beauracracy that I'm in. I will be happy one way or another, but it would be a gulp of fresh air to get out of the politics and bad stress (not to mention poor leadership) of TSA.

The position would be Accounting Manager, which would be a different tier level than I am in now. A large jump, but not inconceivable. I'm excited. We'll see. I'll post more as info becomes available.

Surgery: my surg is still on for 2/12. I've been a slacker as far as exercise go, but its been an eventful couple of days. I'll get back into the swing of things tomorrow. I'm excited and scared for my surg. I had my pre-op yesterday w/ Dane, the nurse, and the doc. I got a book about my specific care (to ME, not just to all people having this procedure done). I got all my prescriptions - I'll be high on Tylox, Viacodin, and Valim for at least 2 weeks. Good times. I got all my pre and post-op instruction. Dane and I also talked to the doctor at length about what to expect. He has strongly encouraged me to lose 15 - 20 lbs on top of this. But everything below my belly button is going to be cut off, or "in the bucket", as he so humorously said (one of the things I love about this doc). I can't imagine life without a pudgey belly. I've always, even at my thinnest, had a pudge. I can't believe it will be gone. And it will be so nice to have normal breasts again. I don't think anyone knows how much my stuff has splayed out. Put it this way, I can lay my whole index finger across the dark part of my boob. That's almost 3 inches in diameter. GROSS! Not to mention they point at the ground, almost back to my ribs. It will be nice to have nips where they belong. Dane will have his hands full caring for me. So will HG. I will have all sorts of antibiotic/drug regimns, body fluid drains, bandages, and so on. Plus I am only allowed to get up every two hours for a short walk. Otherwise I will need help with everything: peeing, cleaning myself, getting dressed, cooking, cleaning, etc. I can't shower for about 10 - 14 days. Only sponge baths and if I want my hair washed, I can go to the doc's office and the nurse will wash my hair at their "salon" station. That will be weird. I've considered getting my hair put in corn rows. Anyway - I'm excited and scared.

I fell off the main detox wagon but still plan to juice fast the week before surgery. That will help lose weight and get myself in good mental, spiritual, and physical condition. Afterwards I'll follow the vegan soup diet (Dr. McDougall's) and unlimited fruits and veggies. Maybe a little PBJ and hummus/pita treats for when I want to be bad. :-)

Wish me luck with everything!

A Few Choice Pics

Should I have "one glass of wine" and fall off the detox wagon? (incidently I learned today that the "wagon" phrase was coined by The Salvation Army when founder William Booth would pick up the drunks and prostitutes in a wagon to attend the weekly meetings. When someone wouldn't join the wagon train, they fell off the wagon meaning they fell back into their old ways) *The More You Know*


The Alltel Wireless guy, he's in my 5.



What kind of wine were we drinking?!


And this one I like to call "Bourbon at 4 am". A masterpiece.

Good times. Good times.

Fell Off The Wagon

Whoops - I fell off my detox wagon. I lasted 9 days and until 9:30 last night before caving and having "just one glass of wine". I feel crappy for giving in but in looking at these next two weeks and my crazy schedule, there's just no way I can keep up the maintenance that the plan demands. I have decided that I will do a juice fast/detox one week before surgery. A week is easier than 28 days. Anyway.

Dane's holiday party was last night, it was rescheduled due to the power outages in December. Dane got the highest award possible, the President's Choice award. Good job baby! For the gift raffle-game we made away with a $50 Staples cards because I knew the Staples slogan (that was easy) and a $50 AMEX card because I had an AMEX card. The president kept passing out drink coupons, so Dane got drunk because he had me for a DD. But the drink tickets kept coming and I finally decided that with all that free booze it would be fiscally irresponsible of me NOT to drink. So drank I did. My one glass of wine turned into three. Then after the party was over we headed up to the rooftop club, which was a predominant black club. We were too drunk to feel out of place. We nabbed a table by the windows and continued to drink and gab and have a good old time. The VP's wife got lit and told me all about how the VP just adores Dane and I and how he fell in love with us the second he met us. They are definitely coming to our wedding - YEAH!! After we closed the club - literally, they kicked us out cause we refused to leave, we tried to find Amy Buttkey's room (I'm still not sure if Amy exists) but couldn't so we went back to another room and crank called the front desk looking for Amy's room. When nothing pulled up, we decided to go to "Jason's" room because he claimed to have bourbon. We arrived at Jason's room (he was already asleep in his skivies) and partied it up. Sometime after 3:30 am and the bourbon and coke (I normally vomit at the mere smell of whiskey and haven't touched a regular soda in years or even a diet soda since Thanksgiving) it was time to go back to the room. So a drunk Crystal and Dane fumbled their way back to the room and passed the toot out! I tried to sleep on the floor but Dane wouldn't let me citing it was too cold. Good job honey. Woke up at 6 am to a loud neighbor only to discover it was really 10 am and we were still drunk. We tried calling Nick to come get us but he wasn't answering so we made the most of our 11 check out time and cautiously made it home.

I left the crock pot on all night so my detox soup was ruined. That coupled with my drunken hangover created the need for Taco Bell. I suck, I know. After that Dane and I went back to bed till 3 pm. Got up, ate, laid back down, got up, ate, and watched the Steve Irwin program on tv. I have never been so affected by a celebrity/famous death as I am by Steve's. My heart just simply aches for him and his family. I cried the whole show. I have the utmost respect for Terri Irwin and I will watch in excitement as Bindi and Bob grow up. None the less, I still hurt for Steve's passing. :-(

In other news, I cut over 8 inches of hair off yesterday and donated it to Locks of Love. That felt so good! First and foremost to give to such a wonderful cause and because my hair was getting too long - it was a mop! I have a cute haircut now that falls just below my shoulders.

I will post a few pics later. :-)

Fasting and Detox

I am finishing up my third day of detox. I picked up a book on fasting/detox (f/d) because I felt it would be good to give my body a cleanse to finalize my transition into a vegan lifestyle. I also felt it was a healthy way to shed a pound or two before surgery and boost my immune system so I'm ready to heal next month. As I've embarked on my f/d, I've also decided to use this time as a spiritual f/d as well. With all the drama at work and my upcoming projects (surgery, wedding, MBA program) I really feel it's time to get back to the basics and get organized. I've allowed myself to become a tyrannt over the past few months and I'm not happy with that or my current state of mind/attitude. I feel by layering on a spiritual level of my f/d I will reap the most benefits out of it in mind, body, and spirit.

It's only been 3 days and I'm already feeling different. Better, but definitely different. I've had a few hiccups, for example I just assumed the book provided recipes for one person. It turns out the recipes can be for 1 or 6 servings! So I got a bunch of food that wasn't needed (luckily HG agreed to piggy back on my detox for a couple days this weekend so the food wouldn't go bad) and missed getting some stuff that I did need. I was sitting at the table quietly brooding about how I really can't afford this detox and maybe I should quit but no, I really want to do this and I really think it's important to do it right now. I finally decided that I'm going to do it, who cares about the finances, God will find a way for me to get money. No sooner did I think that did Dane come in the room, toss a twenty on the table next to my new grocery list and say "Here - that should help you a bit." !!!!! I think that goes on record for the fastest turnaround in prayer that I've ever experienced! I was so shocked I started tearing up a bit and asked Dane what his inspiration was for giving me money, especially when I hadn't even asked and he just said he wanted to be supportive and he knows what this means to me and that I've spent quite a bit already (and that's just week one!). Amazing. Just simply amazing.

In addition, I've had several dreams that have contributed to a general idea and attitude that I think I should adopt at work. All good, all forward thinking, all moving me away from the drama queen that I've become. Good stuff.

As for taste buds and the actual eating, I haven't felt as though I'm on fast #1 I screwed up the in the serving size calculations and have been eating more portions than intended, and #2 I'm allowed all the pure water and organic tea I can drink so my belly is always full of liquid. Plus I get 3 meals a day and a snack. The first portion of the f/d is more detox than fast, though (when the directions are followed) it is less food than might normally be consumed. The last portion is a 7 day juice fast. That will be tough, but I'm looking forward to it. It takes a while to cook/prepare the food though. That's hard on the schedule, but it's only for a short time - I can make it work. I will have an obstacle on 1/31 and 2/1 when I fly to Spokane for business. We'll see how I can make that work.

Back to taste buds - I can easily see having a hard time going back to processed foods after this. I've never really made food from scratch before (and I'm not too good either - I couldn't get my pancake batter to rise this am so I missed out on breakfast) but I'm beginning to see that I really like it. It's not as hard as one might think and the food just tastes better. Of course it's just not going to be possible for me to always cook my own food. For that I am thankful for organic, natural stuff - which Whole Foods has a lot of, thank God.

After I come off the fast, I will follow Dr. McDougal's vegan 12 day diet. It will ensure that I only consume a strict number of calories, but nutritious calories, while I'm healing and cannot exercise. Then I will go back to my normal vegan diet but I really think I will limit my eating out and fried foods. I think I eat out too much and this f/d, if nothing else, has taught me that I can have great food at home for quick, cheap eats that is 100% healthy.

Well, I'm off to bed for now - I have a new refreshed mindset for work and a renewed excitement to work on my MBA program, and of course extra energy to workout tomorrow. I'm a little scared of the MBA program and what I might have gotten myself (and HG) into, but none-the-less it's exciting and I know we can do it!

It's True

So all my life I've heard of stories and that of a friend of a friends, but never in my OWN life have I ever experienced any sort of traffic drama outside of two hours. Maybe that one time in Steamboat, but we were on vacation and had no place to be so time was not an issue, it could have been only one hour, it could have been five. At any rate, in Colorado whenever traffic is bad, you can always jump off on an exit and chance the side streets and eventually get home. Not here dude. Here you have nothing but tunnels and water. No where to go.

Last night the weather called for "thundersnow". I've never heard of thundersnow before so that scared me enough to seek refuge for the night at HG's house, which is 4 blocks from DHQ (my office). Dane was in Olympia so there was no reason to go home anyway unless I wanted to deal with the monsters, which I didn't. So I stayed at HG's house only to wake up this am to no snow. :-[ Grrr. At any rate, I went to work at the GAWD AWFUL VILE hour of 8:00am with HG this am and was definitely ready to leave by 4. I begrudgingly went to the gym w/ HG, but only for 20 min (so there!). I was in my car and heading home by 4:25pm just as the first snowflakes were falling from the sky. They did not appear to be thundersnowflakes. It took untill 5:15 to get to the highway, odd, but sometimes traffic is effed up but clears by I-5. NOT the case today. In fact it got worse and worse. It remined me of last week when there was an accident in the separate express lanes that closed them down diverting traffic to the mainline. Well sure enough by 6:05 and not even having gone .5 of a mile I figured something was messed up. To make a stressful story long, it took me 4 hours, no joke, to get home. 4 long hours. Never in the history of my little communting life has it EVER taken me that long to get home. I feel very lucky to have not been in an emergency or had to pee or something cause that would have been excruciating. I would have had to pee my pants/car. How embarrassing and sad is that? The snow was bad on the Eastside, cars everywhere, it was so slick. I was so hungry by the time I got home and angry and sad and my head hurt like hell. But that's more from hating my job and La Douche (the new boss lady) than traffic.

And get this! I ran out of gas this week! On the highway where 2 highways merge to one! I tried to get over and couldn't (because no one would let me in) and sure enough, I ran out of gas in the middle of TWO lanes. I tried to push my car but almost slipped and died, so I got back in my car, whimpered, and then resigned to calling AAA. Just then, a *tap* on my window. A cute guy in Carharts was there and asked if I needed a tow. Yes please. So he strapped the Fxylady and took off just as the incident sherriff* pulled behind me.

* Here in Seattle we have police who's only job is to respond to traffic incidents like flat tires, stalled vehicles, etc. I think it's brilliant. I don't know who called, but within 3 minutes he was there, even though I had already received help by then. Amazing.

So once the sherriff figured out I was being towed, he fled the scene. Which sucked cause I still needed gas and I was towed to a back in parking only lot for permitted carpools. I tried calling my saviour, Dane, who was available to come rescue me. It took two separate trips to the gas station with the can and another trip with my car, by that time I only had $14 to put in the tank. Dane took it like a champ though, he was totally HOURS late to work for me for something that was completely my fault and completely within my control to prevent. I hugged him and told him as much and he just smiled and said "I know" and kissed me. I bring drama to his otherwise dull life, that's gotta be the only reason he loves me and is still with me.

So anyway my car, tonight on the 4 hour drive home, gets the low fuel light. Well, as learned earlier this week, I can go 53 miles once my low fuel light comes on. Then it hits me. I know how many moving miles I can go on E, but not how many stationary, idling minutes I can burn on E. I start to panic and cry realizing that for the second time in 2 days, I will run out of gas. And this time there's nothing I can do - it was almost a quarter tank when I left work and now it's on E and I have to sit and idle in stop and go traffic for hours. With this and everything else I just lost it. I tried to calm myself, I tried to let it go, I tried to be still my beating heart, but the stress got the best of me and my head exploded. I sobbed and sobbed and wished I could go back to the days of low stress and no traffic. I longed for a better time and cried because it feels like it will never get better and it will only get more stressful as life continues. I seriously contemplated jumping into Lake Washington but remembered that the Seahawks are in the playoffs and I might want to wait to off myself till after they lose the game. :-P

Kidding aside, traffic sucked. I had a glass of wine with my mushroom "meat" and potatoes dinner and now I'm off to bed. At the very least I will sleep in tomorrow knowing that we will have a late start if not a full snow day.

I have some wedding news, but I might save that for another post.

For The Love Of Dane

I found this email that I wrote to Dane on June 20, 2002, just 3 days before my motorcycle accident and earning the much sought-after and highly controversial title of "Dane's Girlfriend". It sometimes shocks me how emotional I can be and how much has been snuffed out of me over the years for various reasons. At any rate - voila!


Sitting inside my room last night, all safe and sound from the blasting thunder, lighting and rain I was listening to outside got me thinking about some things.
It’s not very often that I just get the urge to write. Sometimes it’s a story, sometimes random thoughts, sometimes a letter. Although it may be impersonal, for some reason I have this awesome desire to jot down some emotions I’m feeling.
So often I sit back and try to look at my life from someone else’s view, ANYONE’S view but mine. Oh to walk in any shoes but my own for one day would be absolutely bliss. Then I get to thinking, "wait a minute", look at all that you still have…I’m still on my feet, I’ve survived this far. I have a wonderful group of very supportive friends, I live with my greatest friend of my life, I own my own car and motorcycle, and I have the foundation for a great future in the career world. On the surface I am happy.
I think about all that I have been forced to endure and the visions my eyes have beheld and I wonder, "how is it possible for me to wake in the morning?!". What would I not give to scratch my eyes out put a knife right through my heart. I am positive that there is nothing inside me, I am this empty, dark zombie. What’s on the outside resembles this shell of a human that once existed in a reality filled with love and happiness. Now there’s nothing left but a fantasy land of hurt and pain. A walking tomb I am, a breathing burial ground for the flesh and blood that was once my own. I wonder how can I ever get over this ache that is Isis? Do I even want to get over her?
How many nights have I come home to an empty house, once so full of life and love, now nothing but creaks and cracks of an ancient house. I have cried more than I think a human is capable of. I have spent hours alone with nothing but my thoughts of her and how can I live again? How did I live 20 years of my life without her? I swear to God that she took the best of me when she died. I have lost so much that I vowed to never feel again. Forever numb to anyone who could ever leave again. I refuse to risk it. I will not love EVER again! I tell myself this, thinking that it’s possible.
I have done nothing but harden my heart and remove all humanity within me since I lost my girl. I have cried tears for her, but I have never let go. I refused to let go of her. I thought I could hold onto her love by deflecting it from anyone else. If I loved her and only her, then she could live. I have never allowed myself to grieve her. I’ve wallowed in our pity and begged for answers refusing to hear the response. I have pushed away everyone who cares for me in a selfish attempt to relish in a world that no longer exists for me.
Enter Dane.
All those times that I tell you that you have helped me beyond your comprehension is not just a flattering remark. I don’t know how you cut right to me, but somehow you have managed to present yourself in a way that I felt it was okay to let you in. I let you in perhaps thinking nothing of it, but you have totally turned my world inside out. I look at things now with a hope rather than despair. I look on my life and see potential, a future. Not what I had anticipated, but something far greater than imagined. Oh the road I had to take to get there was painful – unbearable even, but perhaps worth it. I look around me and see a life filled with happiness again. My fantasy has turned to reality. I look at you and feel the warmth that I have discarded from my life. It shocks me, but I find tranquility that I thought impossible. I feel things that I thought I had banned from my heart. The life I see in you revives my tired eyes. The things you give to me without any second thought melts every fiber of my being. How could I be so unfortunate to have lost so much only to be so lucky as to gain you in all of it? Is this how it had to be to acquire you? And how can you have it in you to make it worth it? And how horrible am I for thinking that? It’s not like that, but since it is this way, how can I ever re-pay you for what you have done? You have given me the strength to let go. I feel so much weight lifted, I can grieve for her now. I can get over this and I will. Where did you find it in you to take on this burden?
Don’t you realize what you have done for me? You given me back my life. Not all of it, no one can do that. But you have guided me back to who I am, who I can be and who I will be. You have broken through every barrier I have created like it was nothing but a wall of dust. Your compassion for my daughter and me has pulled at every string of my heart and I can’t help but to love you for that, Dane. I can’t help but to look at you and see you for everything that you are. How can I resist that? How can I demand that it be gone? I can’t. And quite simply I’ve accepted that I wont. I won’t push you out; I won’t let go of you. Meaning that I won’t force myself to not have feelings for you. I can’t stop this. I might be strong, but no amount of resistance could halt what I seem to feel for you. You may find that scary and I have so longed to tell you all of this, but haven’t for fear of turning you away, but the fact is I would be stone if I didn’t recognize all that you do for me and not care for you and love that it in you. Even if you left tomorrow, I would still be ahead. What you have done for me and what you have shown me about me is an invaluable lesson. Thank you for giving me my life back. Thank you for finding me in all this mess. Thank you for tolerating me and helping me through this.
Bottom Line: I love you.
C

I Have Time

So I'm waiting for HG to finish working so we can leave to go to Borders. I feel like ass (I think mostly because of stress than an actual cold so much) and need a pick me up. I'm going to get some books on stress mgmt, some vegan books (maybe Dr. McDougall), and see what else piques my interest.

I had a lot of time to think in traffic last night (it took me 1.35 hours to get home) and I think my body is withering away due to stress. I'm just not the personality type to deal with stress. I used to think I could, in fact, I used to think I thrived in stress. To some degree I still think I do, but there is a difference between good stress and bad stress. Right now I'm overwhelmed with bad stress. I hate going to work everyday and I'm just barely making ends meet. I think of it in the sense that I am a very competitive (with myself) perfectionist. Right now the environment at TSA is just not in place to cater to my high maintenance work ethic. That doesn't mean TSA sucks or that I suck, it just means that I'm setting MYSELF up to fail here. I'm sure things will get better but in the meantime I need to find positive ways to deal with the stress and overwhelming situation.

For starters, at work I've whiddled away my to-do list to one thing a day. Seriously. If I get that one project accomplished, then I can go home with a sense of victory.

Whoops - time to go. More later.

Birth of Another Blog!

For months now, HG and I have talked about having a separate blog that we both contributed to. And now, for your viewing pleasure, we have started one!

http://bumpergmonesseattle.blogspot.com/

It's just in its premature stage, but watch as it grows and blossoms into the best blog ever! :-P