Seattle or Bust Revisited!

I went back and looked at my April postings surrounding the initial idea to move to Seattle - as soon as we got the news, the waiting period, the offer, and since. And I thought I would revisit the FAQ's from April. I have decided to post both the original post and the revised post (in that order).

1. When will you leave?
Dane leaves for Seattle on April 24th. He will be back in Denver the end of May and *maybe* June (if we go to Jamaica/other). I will not leave till the end of September. I have school, work, rental lease, and other loose ends to tie up in Denver.

By now we all know that Dane has already left. My last day at the office will be August 26th, I am having a moving party August 28th, and I will leave with the truck, FXYLADY, 2 cats, and the Rhi on Monday morning, August 29th. Bon Voyage!

2. Does this mean I will never see Dane again?:
No. Friday, April 22nd, we are going to have a get-together to congratulate Dane on his job and see him off with warm hugs and wishes. Special guest appearances by Peck and (hopefully) Paula. The end of September will host the official going-away party for me and Dane.

At this point, Dane has already come and gone several times throughout the summer. We are not planning another visit for Dane nor are we having another going-away party, mine was July 15th.

3. What about the Luau?:
I am sorry, but the Luau is cancelled.

The luau was cancelled but we enjoyed a great luau at Randall and Shawndell's house in June.

4. Why are you moving to Seattle?:
Dane is moving because he was offered a great job opportunity complete with better pay, benefits, fringe benefits, better/bigger company, etc. I am moving because my options are: move with Dane or leave him. There is no question what I am choosing. I am excited to go to Seattle because I can learn the art of belly dance from the dazzling Delilah delightening and the lucious Laura Rose. :) Seattle is also bigger and has a bigger accounting community - for reasons I do not know. Seattle also has great universities for me to attend.

Dane is enjoying his great job and glad he made the move. So far he loves Seattle. I don't know if I will belly dance with Delilah live, I may just use her videos and occasionally attend workshops. I think I will be very picky about how I spend my free time and I would prefer to focus more energy on yoga. In the end though, I am moving to Seattle for a fresh start with Dane. I have a lot of baggage and weight on my "tree" in Colorado. Uprooting to a new place will give me the chance to shake the dead wood and branch off in new directions.

5. Is there a UOP in Seattle?:
Yes - there are 5 UOP locations for me to choose from. From there I will most likely attend Seattle University for my dual master's program.

While there are 5 UOP locations, there is only one location that teaches my program...on Saturdays...half online half on campus....But it will be okay. Since the accounting program there is 6 months behind me, I will fill September through March with 3 elective courses and a couple weeks off here and there. I will start my accounting program where I left off here on March 18 in a southern Seattle campus. From there I don't know what I will do, probably continue on with my Master's and get my CPA no later than 2010. After that I am still considering a law degree, however I don't feel that I will do it concurrently with my Master's in accounting.

6. Where will Dane live when he's in Seattle?:
Dane will reside in corporate housing until I come up in September. The house has high speed internet.

He still lives there but is currently house hunting for us.

7. Are you going to see Dane after he moves to Seattle? Will you be lonely?:
I will see Dane in May and June in Denver. I will probably fly up to Seattle to see him in July, August, and September so I can assume a job and help with the house hunting process. Yes, we will be extremely lonely and miss each other a lot, but we will both have a lot going on to keep us occupied. And there's always late night yahoo. :)

We have both been really lonely and confused and this has definitely taken a toll on us. I have been up to Seattle once, he has been to Denver twice, we went to Moab together, and had a rendez-vous in Portland. There has not been late night yahoo. There has been too much going on to keep us occupied.

8. How is Rhi handling this?:
Rhi is a trooper. She realizes this is a step Dane and I have to make and is supportive and helpful to the enth degree. She is considering her options at this time and will probably make more concrete decisions as the summer wears on. She is sad, but understands (better than I did at her age I might add) that this is a simple fact of life. We are all aware that distance in location does not mean there has to be a distance in friendship.

Rhi is still handling it well. We both feel that the relationship is not ready to be over yet, but we aren't sure what that means at this time. It will definitely be an adjustment for both of us to acclimate to life without each other, as we are both very dependent on each other in some ways, but we will persevere. It will be okay. I know we will always keep in touch.

9. Are you scared?:
I'm spooked outta my g*d-d*mned mind!! I have never cut the apron strings (so to speak). Although I have lived on my own for a while, I have never really been away from mommy and daddy and that will be a big adjustment for me to make. But I'm just as excited as I am scared.

I am still scared. But that comes and goes and now I tend to feel more excitement. Course that will change in another week so keep posted.

10. Will you have to rely on Dane?:
For what? No. Dane and I have always been both self-sufficient and each other's number one resource. I plan to have a job upon my arrival in Seattle. If not, then Dane and I will help each other out so that we realize the right path in the right time.

At this time, I will be paid through September which gives me the whole month of September without cutting into my savings to find a job. I have not heard back from Hopelink or Salvation Army so I assume that I did not get the job. Which is fine, I get the feeling that I have some worth while qualities and won't have any difficulty finding a job when the time is right. If nothing else, I have several contacts for temp work. To answer shortly - no, I will not be relying on Dane financially. For everything else though, he will be my #1 resource!

11. How do you feel about leaving C&C?:
I am very sad. Again, there was/is no question regarding my decision to follow Dane out to Seattle. Having said that, I am making certain concessions to be with him. Leaving an absolutely fabulous dream job is one of them. I have all the flexibility, benefits, mentoring, great pay, etc. that a 25 yr old could possibly want here. I love the people, I love the mission, I love what I do, I love my office, I love it. However, having said that - there is something to be said for being too comfortable and (as my friend Joe pointed out today) stagnant. He never stays at a job longer than 2 years and explained that he gets more experience that way, never gets bored or comfortable. I like that. I never planned on staying at C&C my whole career (thank you Paula) and as the beautiful Gwen Stefani would say "Whatchu waiting for? Take a chance, you stupid hoe. Take a chance cause you might grow."

If I wasn't already leaving, I would be leaving. I cannot believe what the powers that be are doing to such a formerly great nonprofit. They are raping the mission, depleting all funds, and ignoring the public outcry. Our employees have not received a raise in almost 2 years, many who were hired on at entry level have accepted promotions without pay increases and still work for their entry level pay. On the other hand, the company is so frivilous that they pay TWO CEO's a total of $210,000/year!!!!!! What they make individually is outrageous for a nonprofit our size let alone paying TWO PEOPLE that amount!! And one of the CEO's is completely unqualified!! No degree, no experience, she micro-manages, she belittles her employees. A horrible, horrible CEO. On top of that, I have climbed as far as I can here. My job no longer has any challenges, I can do it in my sleep. It's time to move on.

Ready...Set...GO!

I wish I could time travel to August 29th! This weekend was a lot of fun. We got a lot of work and play accomplished. Sam has started moving out, items that we don't want have made their way to the garage for sale. It's becoming physically obvious that Dane and I are moving. What has also become obvious is how I feel. I am ready to move. No longer confused, I am simply just waiting for time to pass. I'll explain further.

I've met a lot of new people in the past two months. Unfortunately I have been very confused during the last couple months and that presents a false image of not only who I am, but who I am with Dane. These wonderful people pick up on my fears and confusion and unwittingly perpetuate it - probing me for answers and justifications. Even people I have known for a while have second guessed my quest. All this and many other things have contributed to my craze. I have done an enormous amount of soul searching the last couple of weeks and have made immense progress - both over the course of two weekends and sometimes in a matter of two seconds. It boils down to the following: when Dane and I made the decision to go to Seattle (it was a joint effort for those who don't know or remember - I knew from the get go that the only way Dane would go is if I would, it sounded fun, I was ready for something different, and I would never stand in the way of this opportunity for Dane), we were in a stable, comfortable position. There was low drama in our life and the idea of a new, exciting city was irresistible. Understand, however, that that was over 4 months ago. We have been in limbo for a while. Had there only been 4 weeks between the decision and move, things might have been different - perhaps easier. Instead, we have had to deal with a myriad of emotions and hardships that even under normal circumstances would cause difficulties. Dane and I are away from each other, I am moving for the FIRST time in my life - I am a Denver native. Digging up my deep, deep roots and putting them in new soil is scary! I am in the middle of INTENSE accounting classes with an overwhelming amount of homework and material to cover. I am training my replacement at work - a task that I am almost ill prepared for. I have not had the time to do the things I love like yoga and belly dance. All these things have contributed to the unstability I feel in my life. Add a cute guy on that and you've got one freaked out chick. And understandably so.

It's taken 2 weeks and lots of rooting around for the causes of my confusion and anxiety, but I have discovered them as well as my conclusion. When my life was stable and I was in a calm atmosphere, I made a decision to move to Seattle. And no matter how scary it is, I know in my heart of hearts that it is the right move for me. Making a decision to stay in Denver just because of fear would be rash and possibly lead to even more heartache and confusion. Once I realized this, my fear literally evaporated and the anxiety was overcome with excitement to leave Denver and join my partner for my new life in Seattle.

Time Travel

Peck is in town. Really the blog would be complete with that first sentence, but for story's sake I'll divulge.

So I met with Rhi at Lodo's and we quietly drank a beer waiting for Peck, Amy, and Dee to show up. They showed up one by one during the second beer and we sat and chatted, caught up, played music trivia, and heckled the Time Warner employees from all over the states: Memphis, Orlando, Atlanta, Manhattan, Santa Barbara, Orange County, Portland, and a few others. Before I knew what happened, we were toasted!! Dancing, talking to everyone at the bar, play fighting, text messaging Dane in incomplete thoughts and sentences. It was a great time!!! I got home around 1 I think and immediately passed out on the lawn. After bugs started crawling up my legs I decided to muster up all my strength and sobriety and make it up to my room or inside at least. I staggered up the stairs and crashed into poor Sam's door, waking him up. I passed out there for a while, Sam came out and was like "Wow. On a Wednesday?" I finally made it to my room and that was it. Dee and Peck came over soon after that and Dee helped me take off my jewelry and jacket and put a cold cloth on my head. She was going to put me in the bed, but we all stopped her from making that mistake. That's the last thing I remember. I time traveled to 7:30 am and then jumped into bed and slept till 10 arriving at work at 11:45.

In other news, it sounds like I have a real shot at the Salvation Army job - I will post more as the information comes in.

Note to self: do not forget to pick up Dane tonight. YEAH!!

All I've Ever Wanted

So we all know that I have been confused and scared lately for a variety of reasons, namely - I am moving away from all that is secure and known to a place that is literally exotic compared to what I am comfortable with. I am scared of the constantly changing relationship I have with Dane. We all know that I sought some sort of comfort with Blue then quickly realized that I didn't want to push the boundaries with Dane. So in an effort to allieviate the confusion and find a ground zero I met with Dane in Portland for a rendez-vous.

I flew standby to PDX and got on the 8 o'clock flight by the skin of my teeth. I arrived in Portland and immediately went to work at the C&C PDX office - this was cool because I was able to log a full days work, get stuff done at the PDX office at little expense to the company. I spent the afternoon training Kelly and waiting for Dane. We met up at 5:30 and went to the Mark Spencer hotel, the only hotel available. We got ready, I wore my new black cocktail dress that Dane purchased for me the last time he was in Denver but in my haste to pack, I neglected to pack a pair of undies and each time the wind flared up, so would my dress. On top of that, I only packed what I was going to wear, nothing extra - a first for me, I always pack extra stuff "just in case". I didn't even pack my glasses - I had no room. Well my one and only black halter top with built in bra combusted, so I had no shirt for Saturday. So Dane and I made a B-line for a mall to look for undies and a shirt. We found a mall downtown and luckily Express had a really cute top on sale ($14.99) and across from Express was Victoria's Secret where I found the most comfortable, perfect thong ever!!!! With the crisis adverted, Dane and I walked to 4th and Washington to a Greek restaurant that had great food and live entertainment. We listened to Greek music, danced and participated in Greek traditions including flinging plates and the famous "Oupa!" shots. It was a great time. I ended up drinking more than I should have so Dane and I called it an early night.

Saturday we walked the Pearl District, got my nails fixed and a pedicure, ate lunch at a great Chinese restaurant, drank Starbucks on the street car, browsed used book and clothing stores, and then made our way to the hippest boutique hotel in Portland (how Dane pulled strings to get us in is beside me) the Jupiter Hotel. Think college dorm meets Travelodge. People would pull kegs into their rooms, leave the doors wide open, party all night, urban decor, awesome awesome place. Except I had a killer headache and my eye was swollen and red. We took a nap then decided to find a place to eat. Not convinced that the food at the Jupiter would be any better than a greasy spoon pad, I wanted to walk around. Dane thought we should stay. We walked around for almost 2 hours over 35 blocks and found nothing worth while. We finally went back to Jupiter exhausted and sat down for dinner to find ourselves having amazing food at amazing prices. I had to smile at myself and the situation and the irony of it all. I put my fork down, grabbed Dane's hand and said "Sometimes you have to look all over town at what's available to discover that what you wanted most was right there all along, all yours." He sat there stunned for a moment then admitted that he wasn't sure what to feel but that it was an astounding analogy. I smiled, he smiled and we enjoyed the rest of our night very quietly admist the partiers of Portland.

Sunday we made the most of our urban, freaky room before checking out. We took a cab to the Lloyd Center and arrived just in time to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. During the trailers, the lights came on and the movie stopped. Confused, we looked around to find that a woman in the back row had died - not breathing, not moving, just sitting there mouth agape. There was no panic, just silence, stillness, and confusion. Dane and I were wondering why no one was doing anything but almost instantly the paramedics arrived. An older man claiming to be the woman's son said "Please do not rescusitate her, I have her DNR orders right here, this is not the first time this has happened." The paramedics obliged and moved to pick her up and move her out of the theatre, when they did so, the woman's neck flopped forward and it was obvious that she was not alive. I ran out the theatre to fake stand in line at the concession stand just to see if the paramedics would honor her wishes. Normally paramedics don't (and shouldn't) honor DNR orders. A piece of history, DNR orders are for people who are already admitted into a hospital for a procedure or surgery of some sort, they are not meant to be honored in emergent situations where you are not stabilized. But in this case the son had the orders and provided all the information necessary and we all just stood around and waited patiently and compassionately for the woman to die. When she was pronounced dead, they put a blanket over her and wheeled her away, the son apologized to the theatre who in return shouted their condolences. The staff members passed out free movie passes for the "inconvenience" and the movie went on as planned. After the tramatic events and the good humored movie, Dane and I walked to the mall but could not stash our bags anywhere while we shopped. Instead we noticed an ice rink and it just so happened to be public skating. We rented skates and had a very impromptu, romantic afternoon ice skating. Afterwards we left each other, I to the East on the Max, Dane to the West in a cab. I was bound for a plane, he for a train.

It was sad leaving him again, but not quite as bad this time for I will see him again soon. I maintain that airports are the place to go to pick up on people - once again I was hit on at the PDX airport, I was flattered and embarrassed. I always feel bad when guys have enough guts to ask me out and I have to tell them that I have a partner. It makes things so awkward. I got a seat on the plane right away and slept most of the way back to Denver. Once home (for now) I talked to Peck all the way home, she is in town this week. We had fun and giggled and made plans for the week.

All in all it was a good weekend. I'm less confused now and things are settling back into place. I interviewed with the Salvation Army for an hour yesterday - first time I wore a tank top, Cubs hat, and smoked during an interview (I like this whole phone interview thing). We'll see if I hear back from them. I'm nervous about joining such a right wing religious nonprofit, but the Salvation Army is as people-compassionate as one can get. I'm not sure, we'll see.

THESE are the facts.....

I love Dane. I miss Dane. My life is with Dane.

I am freaking out because I am scared. I am scared he will leave me now that he's well-to-do and can find someone better so I prepare a plan B, or Blue as the case may be. I am scared to leave Denver, I am scared to start a new life in a new city far away from all that is comfortable. I am scared to admit that this long-distance thing is really hard. I am scared to admit how much I really do love Dane.

Faced with the tormenting thought that he might not be around or that I might do something to compromise our relationship brought me to my knees in tears. I can't imagine losing him, especially to someone as silly as Blue. Blue is not even 1/10th the man Dane is - I'm such a silly woman. I am just scared and acting out.

Immediately I booked a flight to go see Dane this weekend - I have so much to do at home but I will lose my mind if I don't see him...NOW!!! I didn't even think about it, I just booked the flight and now we have all these arrangements to make and who is going to care for the cats and where will we stay - it's totally crazy!! I don't do stuff like this. But I have to see him, I have to. I can't wait another week, I don't care what I have to do or push off till next week or whatever - I HAVE to see him.

So toodles Blue, you are a great man - but I have an even greater man who is already in love with me and who I love back. There is no room for Blue in my black and white relationship with Dane. Only lots of polka dots. :)

Sleepless in Seattle or Confused in Colorado

I am totally confused and I have absolutely no reason to be. Here are the facts:
1. I love Dane, he is my life partner, I am moving to Seattle to be with and grow old with him.
2. I am attracted to a blue collar, divorced man with 3 kids and a Datsun.

When I follow my thoughts through to conclusion, there is only one - but it doesn't clear any of my confusion. And then THAT confuses me why I am so confused?!?! I think "why am I even confused, I've been with Dane 4 years, I've seen Blue 4 times." But I can't explain it. He constantly probes me about Dane and what am I going to do and "if things were different". I just stare at him and think - "what am I doing". I look at him and all I can do is think of Dane. Every word that comes out of Blue's mouth is compared to what D would say. And I think - so what's the deal Crystal, why are you confused.

Then I get depressed and crawl into a dark place and wonder what is wrong with me. After doing a lot of soul searching last night I am still confused, but I realize that I am probably just going through some weirdo emotions because Dane is gone. Yeah sure Blue is sexy and a perfect gentleman and the amount of respect he has for me and Dane and our relationship makes him that much more attractive to me, but Dane is....Dane is...WOW. Dane is my Mr. Man. No one can replace him. No matter how good looking or how strong the mental connection is.

I love my Dane. I miss him. I want to be with him. *SIGH*

Going Away

This weekend is my last weekend to cut loose. After this it's all work and no play. I planned my summer so that I could relax and have fun the 1st half and then work hard the last 6 weeks to complete all the tasks necessary to move. In retrospect I am glad I planned it that way. May and June were all about partying hard, whooping it up, and acting bad cause "dad's gone" (his words, not mine). Well now all that has worn off and I'm sitting here like "I really miss Dane" so luckily there has only been a few weeks of missing Dane and shuffling my feet around wondering what to do and where to go. After this weekend, I have my work cut out.

So here is my itinerary for the next 6 weeks/weekends:

3rd weekend in July: Dinner with Vince and Joe from JoeAb, SATC, lots of yardwork/cleaning, going away party at Bennigan's and Brunswick Zone in Lone Tree, Donor Dash, Botanic Gardens, and homework.

4th weekend in July: Organize and price all garage sale items and move into the garage, go through already packed/stored items and organize or prepare a trash/donation run, Zach's 2nd b-day, homework, yardwork.

5th weekend in July: Dane is in town to help with packing and pricing his garage sale stuff and stuff to take with us, move the heavy stuff into the garage for the sale, develop a packing/organizing method to easily ascertain what is in what box and where it will be located, pack the stuff we don't need.

1st weekend in August: Garage sale round 1 on Friday, round 2 on Saturday. From 7 - 2 (or later) Rhi and I (with special guest help) will be manning the garage sale. Other than that, we will do yardwork and rest!

2nd weekend in August: If I need to, I will have another garage sale on Saturday. If not, then I will make a couple trips to the Goodwill. Then once the garage is clear, I will start moving already packed boxes into the garage for easy loading.

3rd weekend in August: Rhi's dad will be in town, so I imagine I will go out once or twice with them to the Cubs game and maybe another place. Otherwise I will be packing up every room in the house save the bedroom furniture - I will pack the loft, computers, tv room, books, dance room, misc living areas, my clothes, most of the bathroom, all of the kitchen, most decorations. Rhi and I decided that the 3rd week in August would be "Honor Take-Out Restaurants" week where we would celebrate restaurants that offer take-out by eating take-out with plastic-ware. Actually all our dishes and cooking utensils will be packed.

4th weekend in August: Pack the bedrooms, pack any remaining stuff, move boxes into garage, clean the house like no tomorrow, stain the scratches on the doors, have a moving party on Sunday at 6:00 with pizza and beer where everyone comes over and for one hour we move all the stuff from the garage into the rental truck and then enjoy food and drink and fellowship.

August 29th, 9:00am: Push off for Seattle via SLC and Umatilla, WA.

Six Minutes

In six minutes I will begin training again. So this will be fast. The weekend was nice - I've had some pretty confusing times this last week. I think it has to do with:
1. Dane coming and going
2. Outside influences
3. Tons of homework, housework, errands, and chores
4. No time to do yoga in over a week
5. Training Joe and the overwhelming task of replacing myself (that sounds worse than I mean it)
6. The "whoo-hoo Dad's gone" has worn off and I really miss Dane
7. I've lost weight but kind of let my diet plan slip away

All these things have contributed to a very irritated, depressed, confused Crystal. I will write more later as things become more clear to me and I have sorted out my feelings. I look forward to yoga tonight and so far my diet is back on track. I have also deleted some outside influences that have contributed to my confusion - I felt better immediately.

Life

*sigh* I think the rep I have is somewhat unearned. I have this reputation for needing to control things and being bossy and whatever. Here's my take on it - some of the best managers and seminar leaders will tell you that delegation is one of the hardest things to learn for managers. Well I have that skill down pat. I also know that when I delegate things that it is my responsibility if they screw up. So I delegate the easy stuff and complete the rest on my own. Call me controlling but shit gets done and gets done right most of the time. Every now and again something slips through the cracks or in rare circumstances when it is not appropriate for me to control things, I let it go and hope for the best. And time and time again I am disappointed. Then I have to realize that what is easy to me is not easy to others. It is my fault that things didn't turn out right, or rather "the way I wanted them". I take a deep sigh and realize that I should have just handled things. It's not a big deal in the small picture, but I am not a small picture person - I always look at the whole forest, not just the trees. For me small events similar to the ones mentioned above only affirm my fears of delegation and NOT controlling things. I don't know what to do!! Should I just let go and let everything fall to shit?! Should I control more?! ARGH!!! I will now share something my dad wrote to me, it's what I read in times like this:

"The point I have been working toward, is that although you are one of the most brilliantly gifted persons I know in your strengths, you will never be able to fully attain alone, you need a team. Your team members are (in order of importance): your life partner, your family, your friends, your associates at work. Anytime you degrade any of your team members openly or in your mind and attitude you also degrade yourself. The closer they are to you on the team chart, the more it affects you. Anytime you see someone stumble in something you are strong in, like your dad misspelling a word or your boyfriend lacking a little organization, resist the urge to react critically of them. Because there are things you are weak in, like economics, and there are things they are strong in, even if it is only keeping their cool when you have lost yours."

8 Truths and 2 Lies Revealed

1. I think Marilyn Manson is sexy.

True - I admire his musical and artistic talent as well as his unique identity. I think his work is powerful. He is not afraid to break free of the Hollywood norm and that is a very respectful trait.

2. Birds stress me out.

BIRDS ARE FAT CREATURES THAT DON'T DO ANYTHING!!! THEY ALWAYS SIT AROUND IN THE MOST OBSCURE PLACES AND JUST SIT THERE AND DON'T DO ANYTHING!!! OR WHEN THEY ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING - IT'S WEIRD!!! AND THEY ARE ALWAYS IN CLUSTERS JUST MILLING AND DOING NOTHING!!!!

3. I failed math in high school.

This is true. I had to take Algebra I and II at the community college the summer after I graduated in order to get my diploma. And now look at me! HA!

4. My high school sweethart was Isis' father.

This is a big, fat negative. My high school sweethart was Brendon C. - a wonderful, gentle human being. Isis' father is Mike N. That's the nicest thing I can say about Mike.

5. I love love love Sex and the City.

Yes yes yes!! SATC is a great, entertaining yet somewhat realistic show that has great stories and connections and dynamic. I really feel like I am friends with those women - great, captivating show!!

6. I have matured and calmed down a lot in the past 2 years.

Believe it or not, this is true. It's actually not that hard to believe, most people tend to calm down and mature over the years with age and wisdom. Alas, I too am subject to this trend.

7. I get a pedicure every two weeks.

False!! I get a manicure every two weeks. If I could afford a pedicure both in dollars and time, then I would get one every two weeks, but I have never habitually received pedicures.

8. I am a Denver/Colorado native.

Word.

9. I am very active in my community and support a myriad of nonprofits, charities, and other volunteer projects.

This is true. I am a member of the Botanic Gardens, Colorado Mountain Club, and Compassion & Choices (as well as work there). I contribute my money to the aforementioned organizations as well as Denver Rescue Mission, Child Help USA, Donor Alliance, and a variety of other random charities at nonmaterial amounts (Children's Hospital, Susan B. Komen Fund, etc.). I have volunteered at the Botanic Gardens, Children's Hospital, Compassion & Choices, and Donor Alliance. Nonprofits are GGGGRRRRRR-E-A-T!!!!

10. Dane and I have been together going on 4 years.

We celebrated 3 full years together this year in Seattle in April when we visited our new home for the first time together. As we progress through the year, we are celebrating our 4th Easter, 4th of July, Halloween, Christmas, etc. It is quite fun to look back and reminence about what we did each year.

8 Truths and 2 Lies

1. I think Marilyn Manson is sexy.
2. Birds stress me out.
3. I failed math in high school.
4. My high school sweethart was Isis' father.
5. I love love love Sex and the City.
6. I have matured and calmed down a lot in the past 2 years.
7. I get a pedicure every two weeks.
8. I am a Denver/Colorado native.
9. I am very active in my community and support a myriad of nonprofits, charities, and other volunteer projects.
10. Dane and I have been together going on 4 years.

To Be Bad

So I thought I was horribly bad with my diet this whole weekend and I felt guilty and blah blah and then I calculated everything out on my diet manager and while I broke my caloric limit, it wasn't anywhere NEAR what I thought it would be. Now if I had actually done my yoga on top of this - I probably would have been A-OK. But here's the break-thru, I can be a little bad here and there (in moderation) and still be okay. I satisfied my Taco Bell, Chinese food, and KFC craving and still kept within a decent range of my caloric intake - GGGGOOOO me!!!

Last weekend was a lot of fun. My intermediate class is killing me...and the other students apparently - the teacher let us go early on Thursday. I could have met Amy and Rhi for drinks but I am trying to watch my calories and I have NO money - they offered to pay, but I didn't even *hangs head and mumbles* have the money in gas to get there. I tried coercing them into Lodo's so I could go, but it didn't work. Oh well - wasn't meant to be. Instead I went home and completed my homework for Friday and Saturday. Then when that was done and I wasn't tired I decided to just sit in the quiet of the night and be. Not call anyone, not do anything, not think about the upcoming move or Dane or work or school. Just be. I listened to all the noises the night had to offer, paid attention to the details of the clouds, the moon, the planes crossing the sky, made myself aware of my inhales and exhales. Just when I was relaxed and calm my phone rings and its the girls wanting to know what I am doing. I am still broke and watching my weight so I decline the additional invite to go out with them. *sigh* To be young and not care - I want it back!!

Friday I watched my diet all day, consuming a grand total of 600 calories in food. That was only so I could consume a lot more in alcohol. I went over my limit, but not by much. I can't believe I had enough discipline to sit at Dave & Busters and only order a salad with no dressing. My roommates ordered burgers and ate fries and cake and I poked at a dry, flavorless salad. But in the end, I am happy - it shows I am really starting to do what it takes to lose weight. After much fun at D&B it was time to go to the Deadbeat. Rhi and I danced to Wolfschiem - formerly Dane and I's song (I am not sure how to grammatically say that correctly). Then we had fun and talked and danced. Barry (as in Barry White but not really Barry White) talked with us for a while and had fun. He is a Forensic Animater - he recreates accidents for insurance companies and other outside companies. He came back with us to the house and played a couple rounds of Taboo before I had to hit the hay. It wasn't quite a floor night but I did sleep on top of the covers.

I woke up Saturday morning (okay afternoon) to my cat in the CUTEST position in the world and a stomach about ready to go on strike. I rallied the troops and together we ordered from our favorite Chinese restaurant. Rhi and I prepared for our 4th season SATC-athon. The boys did their own thing and we watched almost every episode in the 4th season. We ate our Chinese food all throughout the day never really stopping for lunch or dinner, just constantly munching. We thought about showering (not together!), or maybe hanging out on the lawn, or doing something productive. Instead we decided to take a nap on the couch and "rest" before watching anymore episodes. That was 10:00 pm.

Next thing you know it was 11:30 am on Sunday - there Rhi and I are on the couch, cats and soda cans EVERYWHERE, Chinese food laying out, PBJ stains - it was bad. It looked like a parcel of 13 year olds spent the night, not two twenty-something women. We are so bad!!! Not wanting another day of doing nothing productive, Rhi and I decided to raid the house for any change lying around and hit Taco Bell. Then we spent the afternoon sunning ourselves at my parent's pool. Then, as Rhi said we "ate everything that wasn't nailed down". More Rhi than me though. Once we gorged ourselves and had family fun at my parents house we went home and actually cleaned up, I did some homework, we made plans to weed tomorrow. All in all a good, productive day.

It was a great weekend and even if I didn't accomplish everything on my "to-do" list - I accomplished a lot of nothing that I never seem to have time to pencil in and sometimes that's just what you need to do.

This week and weekend will be a tail spin!! Tonight and tomorrow is weed-pulling, homework, yoga, and nail night - trying to get ready for the weekend, which almost starts on Wednesday at 11:30 am for lunch at Lodo's and then a baseball game at Coors Field. Thursday is school and then Drew's birthday celebration at McDunnah's then off to pick up Mr. Man at midnight. Friday Dane and I will prepare for the garage sale and generally clean up the house for game night in the evening. Saturday we will make Dane order Chinese food and watch SATC S1, then probably go downtown in the evening. Sunday is a pool party and BBQ followed by the foam party at Pollyesther's. And so far we have nothing but relaxation and fun planned for the 4th. Probably an early night as Dane will need to be at the airport by 5 am and ready to work upon arrival in WA. I CAN'T WAIT!!!

The Cat is Out of the Bag....

Or house as it were. My landlord knows (for how long I'm not sure) that we have cats. I don't know if he knows how many cats we have or how he found out, but he knows. *sigh* He was actually more upset about the weeds in our backyard and how dry the lawn was than anything else. So I'm hoping that if I really crack down and make the lawn pretty, then we will get all or most of our deposit back (cross your fingers!!).

I am training Joe on my job and he is doing a great job, bless his heart, but he's asking a lot of GOOD questions that are way too complex to explain this early in the game. But it's good that he's asking them, it shows that he's understanding and/or at least picking up on fundamental concepts. But on my end it is overwhelming. I never really have to think about my job I've been doing it so long. And I picked up on the elements of my job over a long period of time through experience and learning from school. So what my job has morphed into has been over time and as I have been ready and willing to take it on. Well now the company's accounting department hinges on all the tasks that I inherently know how to do now. And training someone how to do all the things that I do when they don't have any basis is hard. I actually had to take a break yesterday, Joe was all ready to keep going but I was like "BREAK TIME!!!" He really is smart and I have no doubt that he will do this job great, it will just take all the time I have left to get him there.

Intermediate Accounting is kicking my ass. Since I only have 2 more months of a flexible schedule, I am taking advantage of it. I told Marcia that I'd like my schedule to be "in and around 8:30 or 9 to in or around 5:30 to 6 leaving at 3:45 on Fridays". She said no problem. So instead of 4:30 yoga at Highlands Ranch, I will do 6:30 yoga at Cherry Hills. Should work out fine. So now I won't get home till around 8:30 or so, but I will have more time in the evening to do my 2 hours of homework. It's so intense - I can see why people abandon the accounting profession. Furthermore, I've decided to NOT do a concurrent degree at University of Washington, instead I will continue at UOP right through my accounting master's program, hopefully sitting for the CPA exam early 2010, then I can have the summer off to apply for law school at UW. That way I can study for the LSAT's and if I can't make Fall 10 admissions, I can try for Fall 11 but still have my accounting degree and certification, so my career isn't on hold (a possibility if I can't make Fall 07 admissions for the concurrent degree). Why do everything at once? I can do it, there's plenty of time - no need to do everything NOW NOW NOW.

Other than the pressures of school, training Joe, and the landlord complaints life is really good. I am sticking to my diet and loosing weight. I am back on track with my yoga despite the Seattle vacation. The move and what not seems to be progressing just fine, course ask me that in a few weeks when I'm preparing for the garage sales and stuff - I'm sure I'll have a different outlook. Dane was almost shocked and scared last weekend. Several times he asked me if I was okay and I had to turn to him, quietly smile and tell him that I was absolutely marvelous and content - a state he has rarely seen me in but will see me in a lot more I imagine. *sigh* To grow older and calmer - seems we are all "doomed" for this! *laughs* I love it.

Fremont Summer Solstice

What an amazing weekend!! Here it is:

Friday - Apparently the airport is the place to go to be hit on. I tried to get my homework done in the smoking lounge however there was a really cute and really drunk man from Alabamer who was interested in talking to me. He gave me his business card, though I don't know what I would do with it even if I was single. He tried to say he was 30 but looking at his laugh wrinkles and salt and pepper hair - I'd have to call his bluff. Then I got as much homework done as possible sitting next to the stereotypical horny old man who would not shut up and Mr. Seizures in the seat in front of me. Not a big deal except my laptop was on the tray and everytime he would have a "fit" it would earthquake my laptop off the tray!! So finally I had to cradle my laptop and TRY to read while the old guy next to me propositioned me to live on Bainbridge Island with him. *sigh* Once off the plane I ran into Dane's arms and cuddled him for a while. I changed and then it was off to Kobleh for a Persian dinner. AWESOME FOOD!!!! I hardly ate any of it though, I felt so bad. Then Dane got me a real gold and diamond heart shaped necklace - AAAAAWWWWWEEEEEE!!!! He took me to Starbucks Corporate office with a HUGE clocktower and just the top of the Starbucks lady's face peering out over the clock - it freaks Dane out, I was in awe. Then we met up with Laura Rose and crew at the Buckaroo for some.....beer. And that's it. Apparently there exists a law in Washington that says if you serve hard liquor, you must also have "hot dishes" on your menu. So a lot of bars serve beer only. Odd but true. Then we walked down to another bar but met some of LR's friends on the way and decided to go back to the Buckaroo. We drank and laughed and had a great time till it was time to cab it home.

Saturday - Up and at em at 7:00. Dane and I got donuts at the shop next to our hotel and headed out towards Fremont. Laura Rose and I got ready while Dane napped. The only thing that I wore that was mine was my underoos and skirt - everything else was courtesy of Laura Rose and man did she do a good job dressing me up!!! We looked amazing - she went for this way cool fro-hock look with awesome eye-makeup and dressed me in tribal coins and jingly jangles with dread falls and a touch of sunburst flowers and accessories. I did my eyemake up like a sun and it was off to the parade. The parade was absolutely amazing, there is NOTHING like it anywhere else in the world!! I come from a town that gets upset over the proper language of their EXTREMELY RELIGIOUS parade not from a town that celebrates the beautiful Pagan Solstice and all the beauty diversity has to offer. We saw nude bicyclists, a nude woman just watching the parade, and many political opinions about Bush, gay marriage, marijuana legalization, and others but all done without words or logos - simply art. The Visionary Dance troupe was over 100 women strong this year! I am so lucky to be Laura Rose's friend, she could have just as easily made me a water girl or go-getter, instead she dressed me all up and plopped me smack dab in the front of the troupe - I had the time of my life. The easiest thing to do would be provide the link to my pics posted on yahoo. http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/blondninjachick/album?.dir=/b835 After the parade it was manditory nap time then off to dinner and the Noc Noc for good old fashioned Goth fun. We hung out at the studio after the club closed for drinks and fellowship.

Sunday - Dane paid extra for us to sleep in thank God. After we checked out we went to lunch at an upscale Southern dining restaurant - pretty good. Then we hit Pike Place again, the port, and then said goodbye to downtown Seattle and made our way to the movie theater by the airport and saw Mr. and Mrs. Smith, a good movie. I was at the airport with 5 minutes to spare before my two hour mark. I said goodbye to Dane, I already missed him, then tried to study with my Starbucks, but couldn't. Instead a took a nap till we boarded the plane then once on the plane I watched Hitch for the ride home. I was fortunate enough to sit next to Offensive Chinese Food man - I had to hold my nose and mouth for almost the entire trip to keep from vomiting. It was horrible. Once in Denver I found Rhi and drove home.

Today I have spent the day doing laundry, catching up on homework and my rest - I was supposed to go to work but I was just too damn exhausted to do so. Wuss, I know.

I can't wait till Dane comes back in two weeks - it will be so fun. I can already feel myself detaching from Denver - it's weird not having a home. I mean, this is home and it's nice but it doesn't quite have the feel it once did. I really cannot wait to pack everything up and move. I just want to get rid of most everything I own, like shedding a skin. This rebirth will be amazing and I can't wait!!!

YEAH YEAH YEAH!!!

I leave for Seattle in a matter of hours!! I can't wait!!! I look like Goldilocks right now with my hair in tight curls but they will loosen up on the plane. I am in my going out outfit already though it is covered up for work. I totally cheated on breakfast and so now I had to cut other calories out of my diet. Babble babble babble. Okay so here it is, the schedule!

Friday evening: The plane will land at 7:30 and then Dane is taking me to dinner at a sooprise location. After that we are meeting friends for drinks at their Fremont loft. I probably won't drink much as I totally ate too much for breakfast.

Saturday: I have to be at Delilah/Laura Rose's studio by 9:00 am to get ready for the Fremont Summer Soltice parade in which I will be a "Gong Girl". YESSSS!!! The link to the parade, in case you are interested is: http://www.fremontartscouncil.org/ After the parade it is scheduled nap time (thank God) then it is off to party at a show at the Fenix http://www.fenixunderground.com/ and/or the Noc Noc http://www.clubnocnoc.com/ I got the BEST outfit to wear - I can't wait till Dane can see it!! It's from Hot Topic, now the link is the top only, the skirt is black with red satin ribbon corsets on the sides, strappy black shoes, red scarf around neck, and 40's glamour style hair with classy barettes. http://www.hottopic.com/store/product.asp?LS=0&ITEM=265793&RN=155

Sunday: Hang out all day with Dane doing whatever - movie, shopping, both. Back in Denver by 11:45. WORD!!

I CAN'T WAIT I CAN'T WAIT I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!

Purity in the Park

So last week while talking to Jamie, I realize that I miss my youth and want to go to Six Flag Elitch Gardens. I message Jamie and invite her to come on out, course now that she is married I invited her and her wonderful, hysterical husband Brandon out as well. So not wanting to be the odd man out, I called upon my tried and true date, Rhi. We make plans for Wed, the 15th.

The 15th - Rhi and I left work slightly early so we could get a good 5 hours in at Elitch's. Arriving at 5 on the motorcycle (hey - it costs NINE BUCKS to park a car and FREE on the bike!) we walked inside to find the screaming deal *ba dump dump* of the Sling Shot (300 ft yo yo catapult) and XLR8R (I call this the St Louis Swing) for $30 for both rides. Always one for a bargain and a perpetual broke ass bitch - I decide to go for it and Rhi takes plunge just as willingly. Now I have seen both these rides and riden the XLR8R twice, Rhi on the other hand has no clue what the rides are and literally blindly signs on the line. Then she notices what we are in for and glowers at me then cowers in fear. I say my patented "WHAT?!" and we jump on the Sling Shot. Very appropriately Metallica's Freight Train song was playing, which I thought was a nice touch. Well the Sling Shot was awesome, I made sure to scream my loudest EFF YEAH (only this time I didn't say "eff" I said the real deal).

XLR8R was even better, I forgot how high you get. At the last minute I thought about the "what if's" and decided I was moderately scared, then quickly came back to the moment and said "let er rip!!" Rhi was skeered to pull the cord, she had me and the guy manning the machine yelling at her to pull it. She did and off we went - IT IS ALWAYS SO EXHILERATING!!! After that the rest of the rides were just child's play.

We had a great time practicing our yoga inhales and exhales on the rides, making fun of (and being made fun of by) teenie bopper girls. Jamie and Brandon met up with us around 7:30. We had fun squishing each other on the Rainbow. The Half Pipe was not worth the wait. The Thunder Bolt was out of order. I lost the meditation round on the Troika. We never did desicrate the park like we wanted to - the "God Squad" was busy at the Purity concert so the timing never lined up. I was good and only had a couple bites of Rhi's root beer float. Hmm, we never rode the carosel either...But we f*cked the tea cups up hard core!!! I just can't spin like that like I used to. *sigh* But we hung in there and worked out our arms.

In other news my diet is going well. I have been monitoring my consumption (every calorie) and my exercise as well as my daily weight and I am progressing. I can tell a difference when I look in the mirror too. Maybe I will drop these stubborn pounds!

Tonight - last minute touches for my newest goth costume, it has a STRONG 40's Burlesque touch to it - I wish I knew how to style my hair in 40's glamour though (to the internet), pedicure courtesy of Dane (I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!!!!!), Noodles (cause there are none in Seattle), school, and then I have to pack for Seattle but I have my trusty list ready and all the clothes are clean, it's just a matter of putting them in my bag.

Angel: Angels are the guardians of all things, from the smallest ant to the tallest tree. They give inspiration, love, hope, and positive emotion. They live among humans without being seen. They are the good in all things, and if you feel alone, don't fear. They are always watching. Often times they merely stand by, whispering into the ears of those who feel lost. They would love nothing more then to reveal themselves, but in today's society, this would bring havoc and many unneeded questions. Give thanks to all things beautiful, for you are an Angel.
 

Slow it Down!

What a great weekend!!!

Thursday night I bombed the accounting exam and then promptly went for 7 stiff drinks with Paula. We had a great time, I always forget how seemingly different she is in person. She really isn't different, but so much can be said and soothed with a gentle laugh or bouncing brown eyes. It was great seeing her.

Friday night was meant for a mellow time at home, hanging out. Amy came over and we played games all night. I drank a bottle of wine and had a great time. Just the two of us playing Battleship, Trivial Pursuit, and Two Man Taboo. We had PBJ snacks at midnight and talked and laughed and listened to music and I wondered why I would ever go to a bar or club when all I needed was at home. No trouble, no drama, no sleezy men, no bar tab. It was great. Even though I drank so many calories it was a good night - I didn't spend any money!

Saturday was spent completing homework, napping, yoga, and misc chores around the house. Amy, Rhi, and I ate Chinese food while watching SATC when we noticed an issue with Stinker that Dewey was trying to tell us about all day. We immediately rushed her to the vet and two hours later took a trippin kitty home complete with meds. Amy left with a headache, Rhi and Sam left for Denver, and I curled up with my kitties in bed and watched another 3 SATC episodes. It was awesome to relax in the quiet house. I figured since I drank Thursday and Friday that Saturday was my Sunday.

Pause - I am trying so hard to lose weight and it just isn't coming off and then Dane talks about all the petite women he's hanging out with and I don't get jealous, I get frustrated that *I* can't be that petite woman. And I never will be!!! So then I get down on myself and sad and I just don't understand what the deal is. I watch what I eat and consume from 1200 - 1500 calories a day - not a lot. I go to yoga 5 - 6 times a week, ride my bike 2 times a week amongst other exercise. I eat healthy food, never have fast food, and when I do eat out - I eat healthy salads, or soups, or sandwiches. So the bottom line is that isn't enough I guess. So I will cut drinking down to one night a week (from 2 nights a week - HEY! I can't annhilate ALL my fun), Starbucks to one time a week (from 2 - 3 times a week), and eating out to 3 - 4 times (from 5 -6 times a week). That seems like a lot of eating out, but like I said - what's the difference between a homemade salad and a salad from Black Eyed Pea? I just wish I could drop these stubborn 20 lbs. I think back and realize that I have been 20 lbs heavier and I should be happy to have shed those, but I only have 20 to go and they just WONT come off!! ARGH!!!

Sunday was spent working at work to make up for Moab, homework - I got it all done for the day! Laundry, more cleaning. I went to a new yoga class "Foundations of Core Power Yoga" it was a great class with a great teacher. But I fear that I am suffering from Yoga Hangover today (just like the teacher warned) - I went too far into pidgeon pose. *sigh* After yoga I continued with my chores, ate a balanced meal, completed my homework and went to bed.

Great stuff this weekend. I feel great today. I can't wait to go to Seattle this weekend, I need to see my Dane. I miss him. *whimper* Soon enough.

Choices

Since April I have made a lot of choices. And every choice I have made I have countered, buckled on, withheld, defended, let go, retreated from, come back to, thought about, jumped into, and mulled over till there was nothing left to do but accept the choice(s) I made. Then during a yoga session it dawned on me. I can accept my decisions without all that hoopla. Huh. What an interesting concept. And not only can I accept my decisions, I can think about them before I make them rather than doing everything NOW NOW NOW.

Since that yoga insight I have learned to respond instead of react. I have been quietly reflecting in and listening to my breath and my inner voice. And you know what?! Not everyone will agree with what my breath and voice says. And that's okay. I understand that everyone has their own life and their own choices to deal with. And more importantly I understand that only the individual has to live with the choices they make. If Sally decides to do ____, then Beth can accept Sally's choice and respond accordingly or not at all. And Sally may or may not like how Beth responds to her choice. But it is Beth's response and choice to make for herself. Sue, an outsider, might have tons of wisdom to dispense on both Sally and Beth and Sue may or may not agree with either, but it is her choice to remain silent or speak out. Everything in life is about choices. Is it any wonder that I work for a nonprofit that advocates for personal choice?

It's important to realize and respect an individual's choice, whether you agree with it or not. The name of the game is not to draw forces against each other, or to be bitter, or plot revenge. The name of the game has always been respect the ones you love and/or interact with. If no respect exists, or breaks down under certain circumstances, then at least respect the individual's decision/response to protect themselves in the future from disrespectful situations.

Obviously this entry stems from recent events in my life. Let's not dance around this or try to imagine what it is. I am not going to claim that this entry, while closely resembling a certain situation actually is about another completely unrelated situation. Nope - I don't need to hide behind a veil. This blog entry pertains to events that unfolded last weekend.

I would like to mention that I am very sad to have made the choice that I made, but I feel that I made the right choice for me and my partnership with Dane and the well-being of my long-term friends. It was not an easy choice and came after much meditation on the matter. After considering the facts, the decision I made best suited the circumstances. I did not want to simply "drift" away without my reasonings being known. That is not beneficial or progressive for anyone. Additionaly I would like to say that I hold nothing but best regards and warm thoughts for the person most effected by my individual choice. She is an amazing woman - beautiful inside and out. I am sorry to have surrendered our friendship.

Why did I do this you ask? Why would I give up on something that I love? I'll tell you - I LOVE fatty foods. I used to eat Popeyes, MacDonalds, fast food of any kind all the time and I'd top it off with a regular soda!! But after a while, my body changed and it became obvious that fast food was no longer good for me no matter how much I loved it. *sigh* So I gave it up. I found other, more healthy replacements sure, but every now and again I wish I could just pick up a quarter pounder with cheese and love every minute of eating it but I can't. Not as long as I know what it does to me internally.

Hot Luau Mammas!!!! 

Crystal and Rhi crossing Golden Crack 

JoeAb 2005 Updated Version/Real Life

What an AWESOME trip!!!! It would take up entirely too much space to endlessly write about it, so in formal bullet fashion form I shall recount the tale.....

1. I won the award for "most bravery" which contributed to "best crash" which led to "environmentalist". I am most shamed for the last award because it is highly facicious as I was awarded it for bashing into a tree. I felt so bad for hurting the tree even though it had already been mangled. *hangs head* The tree didn't go down without a fight though, as it took out my passenger rear window. Luckily one of the guys on the trail owns a salvage yard and donated his window to us since Dane had to tow it to Seattle.

2. Rhi won the award for "most changed slash most likely to hit on a female waitress". Rhi and Vince made their silent amends. All is well now.

3. Dane won "most improved driver". He barely needed spotters this time around and took the wheel each time I faltered and then took over driving when I couldn't make it over the Golden Crack without the "hoe strap" and proceeded to take a 2 hour pout nap.

4. Lots more people this year, tons of comradery - it was great. Campfire stories, watching Team America in the Pilot (those are nice cars!!), rafting, shopping, tanning - I feel amazingly refreshed.

Pics will be available soon. Individual tales can be told if anyone so dares to ask. :) In the meantime, I shall post one pic for good measure.

Back to life...back to reality.....
It's good to be back!! Got a lot of great stuff going on this weekend - the luau, Paula will be in town the following weekend, and then I will be in Seattle for the Fremont Summer Soltice Parade, then Rhi's friend will be in town after that!! AND THEEEENNN Dane will be in town for the Fourth of July - yep you heard it here first, Big D is coming down for a weekend of partying in D-Town, be sure to make it out for one of the events we hold/go to - I imagine it will be much like Halloween - a party every night. I can't wait to see what Rhi and I get in a fight about this year! *laughs* So far we are definitely going to a foam party on July 3, Sunday. Aside from that, it's up for grabs. Then I will have four whole weekends to enjoy the summer and hang out before August brings two weekends of a garage sale at my house, then two weekends of packing and moving.

For those who are interested/concerned, I will be having a "moving party" at my house on Sunday or Monday, August 28th or 29th. I will need people to help me load the big stuff into the moving van. Dinner and drinks provided for those who lend their time to my cause. Other than that, I do not anticipate needing more help than I already have. Rhi has volunteered to help with the garage sales, anyone else interested is invited to come on down and help! As for packing...we all know how weird and anal I am, so I think I will do that part entirely on my own. :)

Rhi and I will leave Denver either Monday or Tuesday, August 29th or 30th for SLC, UT in a 24 foot U-Haul with trailer for Fxylady and two cats. We will stay in UT at Dane's mother's house the first night then continue on into Oregon resting around the OR/WA border for the second evening then finishing up in Seattle on the the third day with plenty of time to unpack the truck and start organizing the essentials. Once that's over it will be party party party time!!! Laura Rose will be starring (as she always does) in a burlesque show on Thursday then we will take Rhi out for a tour of Seattle on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday sending her back to Denver via plane well rested and partied out. Anyone interested in joining us for this weekend (incidently it is Labor Day weekend) is welcome to come out to Seattle and join us, it might make for a great end-of-summer trip!

That's all for now.

JoeAb 2005

Alrighty friends!! I am back but only long enough to say I'm outta here!! Rhi and I got the Montero and truck entirely packed up last night, save the coolers. We even loaded the Banshee into the truck all by ourselves. So tonight is homework, doctor's office (I have a RAW, sore throat like no other!) then pack clothes and stuff!

Tomorrow I will pick D up from the airport around 10, I can't wait. I'm so excited to see him! I had some mad, crazy sexual dreams about us last night. So not much else to say other than I am getting excited about this weekend. Most of the others in the group have already experienced a myriad of problems, we all hope it is not related to what's to come.

For anyone interested, here is the JoeAb/Moab link: http://www.fivethirty.com/Moab/2005/calendar.htm

I hope everyone has a wonderful safe weekend and lots of fun, I know I will! Love and hugs to everyone, thank you for your understanding while I was in stasis.

Disconnected

To all my wonderful friends, family, and even to my unwonderful friends and family...I am feeling very disconnected. See ya on the other side!

Weirdo Dreams

So I had the CRAZIEST dream last night! I swear it's because Dane isn't around and all my sexual frustration has no where to go. But here is my dream (and I release all responsibility for the following dream, it is completely fictional and any representation to real people or events is completely coincidental). Oh, and the names have been changed to protect the innocent - I don't want anyone feeling uncomfortable around me cause they think I dream about them in sexual ways. ~wink~

So the scene opens to hot springs but completely natural. I have never been to one in real life but D tells me they exist in SLC. It is unclear where I am, but it seems very canyon like. So I'm in this hot springs and I'm naked. There seems to be a glowing green light underneath me, but I don't know where it could be coming from, this natural spring isn't wired. In the springs with me is an unknown man. I couldn't really see his face, but I know it wasn't Dane. (Sorry, D, that's just the way the dream went) Another woman is there, she is familiar to me, but I can't quite figure out who it is, she actually changed identities several times in my dream, but let's just call her Bertha. So it's me, Unknown Man, and Bertha. And we are talking and feet and fingers are going everywhere. I keep getting out of the springs to "do a homework problem" then come back. Bertha also keeps leaving the springs and each time she does, things get hot and heavy between me and Unknown Man. Bertha finally leaves to go get Marilyn Manson. In real life I am infatuated with MM, so I am excited that MM will be joining the springs. But when MM comes back, he never gets in the springs, instead he stands outside singing the Golden Age of Grotesque song. Meanwhile I'm backed up to the edge of the springs and Bertha is on top of me kissing me, touching me, etc. Unknown Man is behind her, kissing and touching her. I'm whispering the lyrics to the Golden Age of Grotesque song with MM as I'm pouring a Flying Dog beer over Bertha's head and licking it off. MM finishes with a canon ball into the Springs and I wake up.

I had the worst night sleep ever last night, but the best dreams. In my second round of dreams I was Samantha from Sex in the City and had no inhibitions whatsoever. I also slept around a lot in my dream. The only thing that makes sense is: I miss Dane and need him back. So basically Moab is going to be a f*ck fest for me. And if Dane isn't willing, I shall find someone else!! Maybe Unknown Man or Bertha will show up! But D and I have been talking and think he might be turning a new leaf. Well Moab will put that to the test.

Last year I tried to get him to have some crack at the Golden Crack but he refused. We'll see what happens this year. I wonder if I will instigate it (as usual) or if he will? Only time will tell! Till then, I need to purchase new batteries. You know it's bad when your battery powered tooth brush turns you on the second you turn it on. *hangs head in shame* I want my man back!!

The Cheat is Grounded

So I've had a lot of fun in my day. No regrets whatsoever! In fact, I wouldn't do one thing different because then I would have missed out on many a valuable lesson. Nope, I have had a lot of fun, learned a lot, and continue to grow every day. And I don't equate fun to drinking and getting drunk, this whole weekend for me was a blast! I swear, Colorado Springs (and the surrounding areas) are like a time warp for me. It's like going to a different world, in a different dimension, and I'm a different person. It's the closest thing to real life "virtuality" if that makes any sense at all.

Friday was a lot of fun. I must apologize to Amy though, we really were on our way to rescue her and we got just outside of the parking garage only to be roped into a bar, hypnotizing Rhi with the sounds of 2Pac. Our bad. Sorry Amy. Saturday was a lot of fun, we watched Sex in the City, ate Chinese food (our newest fad), took a nap and slowly got ready for our quantum leap.

Saturday night was absofuckinglutely an awesome time!! There would be too much to write and most of it would probably burn a hole right through this laptop it's so deliciously sinful. Actually, I think back to it and realize an odd thing. It really wasn't sinful. At all. It was just a bunch of good people, having a good time. No drama, no one was out of control, just plain fun. Now normally when I have a crazy time there is always some embarassment or silly thing I did that I am mortified about. Not this time. I kept it under control and just coasted through the night as cool as a fan. This whole "no shots" and "no more than 2 mixed drinks" is really helping me have a better grip on my drinking.

Anyways, the night was awesome. I will miss Rhi, I will miss the Morning Glory crew. I miss Dane though. I wonder what it would be like to have a crazy time with him...he always keeps me under control - I could never see him being crazy and fun. Oh well. That's what girlfriends are for, right?

In the Shadow of the Valley of Death

We have no future
heaven wasn't made for me
we burn ourselves to hell
as fast as it can be
and I wish that I could be a king
then I'd know that I am not alone

Maggots put on shirts
Sell each others shit
sometimes I feel so worthless
sometimes I feel discarded
I wish that I was good enough
then I'd know that I am not alone

Death is policeman
Death is the priest
Death is the stereo
Death is a TV
Death is the Tarot
Death is an angel and
Death is our God
killing us all

she puts the seeds in me
plant this dying tree
she's a burning string
and I'm just the ashes

she put the seeds in me
plant this dying tree
she's a burning string
and I'm just the ashes

~ Marilyn Manson (the only one who heals my angst)

Entertainment

Alas, my love is gone
Up in he Seattle he rests
so I must put BOB to the test
But though my pleasure woes
I can live vicariously through my friends slash hoes
I rise to find the email gods have delivered this
a tale of fast moving love that you shant miss

"So we left the bar. I was pretty drunk, which probably somewhat precipitated the following events. Things had been getting somewhat hot and heavy all night, there had been a lot of flirting and the such going on. So I asked him if he wanted to come home with me. He said yes, of course. As we start to drive, I turned to him, my innocent eyes bright in the moonlight, and said "Have you ever had sex while driving?" He said no. I proceeded to remove my pants, unbutton his pants, and climb astride. At this point, he pulled over in order to fully remove his britches. Got everything situated and in position, started driving again, and bada bing bada boom. My ass kept honking the horn and my right knee was jammed in the crack between the seat and the door (and was bearing most of my weight, which is why it is so effed today). There were a couple times when he was like "Whoa! Lean to the right I can't see." Otherwise, I give it 3 thumbs up, it was a rip roarin' good time. :-)"

Le sigh. Sex is so much more fun when you are single. Even now I can't see the above story happening for me. And it's not that I wouldn't do it - I would, but it wouldn't be fun with the company I keep. He is all too concerned about the world around him and his own self confidence to "let it go" and and fun like that.

I need to find me a young, dumb, and willing 17 year old....

Quick Note

I'm just going to say this, get it out there, get it out of my system once and for all (hopefully) so all my friends can be happy knowing that I will never bother them again about it (doubtful).

YOGA CURES EVERYTHING. I MEAN EVERYTHING. Whatever your aliment is, yoga cures it. Herpes of the face, junk, brain - whatever - yoga cures it. It produces the fastest results for those of you who, like me, are impatient or have high expectations. Every day is different and every day you can see your body change and be so proud of yourself. There is no competition or stuffy body builders or "perfectly shaped" humans, just regular mortals practicing to the best of their ability for that day. Yoga is also more addicting than cigarettes and Starbucks coffee.

Having said all that, today my yoga will be very slow and slight. But even if I only do 25% of my regular capacity, that's still 25% more than I would do if I didn't do it at all.

So, YOGA CURES ALL!!!

Intermediate

So I passed my final business law exam last night, it was much smoother than the first one. I hope to keep in touch with Mr. Krumbein, he was a great teacher. I told BCL and Jane today about my departure in August. Set things up for Joe a little more, I really hope he gets my position. I also talked to BCL about keeping her as a contact for law school admission, we talked a little bit about SU and UW, she thinks SU is a Catholic school, so I should go to UW. Fine with me, UW seems to offer more choices for masters, including concurrent programs. So the plan is to attend UW. Here's the problem, classes start in Fall and since I wont be graduating till Oct 2006, I will have to take almost a year off of school. *frown* But it will give me the time I need to focus on the LSAT and GMAT. I can get all my admissions stuff in order and ready to go. It will mean that I will have to start paying on my financial aid loans for my bachelor's degree, but that's okay, I think once I start going to school again I will be able to put that aside. It will also give me about 1 year to prepare for going to college full time. I would start law school/accounting masters program in September 2007 and it will take 3 years. So I would graduate with a dual masters in acct and law in June of 2010. I will be 30, so about 5 years behind the "curve". Then I will have what I need to sit for the CPA and bar exams. It also means that D and I would be in WA for at least 5 years. And when all is said and done I will have spent about $200,000 in tuition alone. But MAN!! Can you imagine?! JD AND CPA?!?! It would be..."lethal". So I really think I'm going to do it. I have 2.5 years to prepare - that is plenty of time. I will have to have patience, but I'm learning (slowly) that that is a good asset to have.

In the immediate future I will be training for Intermediate Accounting. Dun dun dunnnnn!!!! I will start tonight by reading 50 pages - yep look out for me, I'm a wild woman!! Reading Financial Accounting on a Friday night! WHOOOOOO!!!!! It will be nice to stay in, I plan on going out tomorrow anyway for a friend's b-day.

It's so funny, 2 years ago when I started attending UOP I remember thinking that if I just got my bachelor's, I would have "arrived". I remember dreading Intermediate Accounting even up until recently. I remember getting nervous, overcome by feelings of inadequacy and anxiety. Now here it is, my first day of IA and I'm okay. I'm not scared. I know I will do fine. Compared to what I am dreaming of now, IA seems like a vacation. I find myself now nervous about law school, the LSAT/GMAT, taking law classes, doing a concurrent masters program - it's all so scary and I'm not sure that I can do it, but my strongest supporters think I can and well, the best thing I can do is try it out. What harm ever came in that, right?

Wow, a lawyer and an accountant. I have goose-pimples just thinking about it. Then I can my doctorate in International Business Law and Accounting!! I'm going to change the world, I have to. I tried analyzing it last night, why I would feel like such a failure if I didn't change the world, and I never came to any conclusions. The point is I don't think I was cut out for the "traditional" get married, have kids, be happy with a mediocre job and the PTA. I tried that. Apparently the world/God/Goddess agree that my lot in life is not procreation. But that doesn't mean that I can't/won't have purpose. I don't know what I will do, but I won't be happy till I do it. :)

ONWARD HO!!!!

Priorities

So for most of my life I have struggled with my weight. There have been a few times that I have been on the more slender side, but it was never because I was involved in anything healthy. Well that's going to change. I got my Bikram Yoga book (finally) and I'm going to start going to BY daily, at least for the next 4 months. The goal is to lose the weight by the time I shed my Colorado skin. It's perfect. D isn't around, so it's not like I'm ignoring him, I can perfectly fit it into my schedule and still be done by 6:00 and have time for dinner, chat, homework, whatever. I believe if I do this, if I stick to this one thing, I will be plenty slim in no time. I will have to modify my diet slightly as we know from last Tuesday that I need lots and lots of food energy to complete a class. But I can and will do this. Once and for all, I'm tired of doing stuff that doesn't work, all these silly fads like Atkins, South Beach, Weight Watchers, cocaine - it hasn't worked for me! But Yoga, Yoga has worked since before man knew how to record history!! And maybe for once I learn some discipline. Ya know? I just need to buckle down and stop eating so bad, filling my body w/ toxins, etc. Now this doesn't mean that I will *never* drink or eat fast food again, no it simply means that I will do it in much smaller quantities than before. I work so hard in Yoga to just go out and fill my body with poisons when I'm done. And it effects my performance, and I'd rather be a good Yogi than a great partier. And won't it be so fun to be all nice and trim for D! YES!!!

Other than that, I'm just plugging away at overtime and homework. I have my Business Law II final this Thursday, I'm sure I'll do okay. Then I start Intermediate Acct I - dun dun duuuuuunnnn!!! But I'm ready. I'm really happy. I feel focused, deteremined.

The newest NIN cd With Teeth is awesome. Courtesy of Nate in Seattle, thank you! I'm listening to it now and it has a lot of different, great sounds. Trent does a lot of shifting from speaker to speaker (if that makes sense) and toggles between electronic and real instruments. Good stuff.

Back By Popular Demand

In my defense, I tried to make an entry last night whilst I was hacking the wireless network at school, but my computer ran out of juice.

Tuesday: So my new diet is not good for Yoga. I have been eating really small portions recently, the Healthy Choice/Smart Ones/Lean Cuisine frozen meals and a dressingless salad is all I have for lunch and dinner. Of course this is simply not enough food fuel for the demanding Yoga that I do and I actually stopped in the middle of the standing poses, lay down, and PASSED OUT!! So there I am sleeping, snoring, drooling, twitching with a rag on my head and I twitch so hard it jolts me out of sleep. I pull the rag off my head stretching and yawning like "Whoo! I'm TIRED!" meanwhile me fellow Yogis are contorted and working HARD. I'm a loser!!! So I didn't even make it to belly dance, I went to Noodles and f*cked it up! Ate, napped, got up and talked to Dane and felt guilty about my sorry performance.

Wednesday: Hard day at work, let's just say it has to do with managers, variance reports, and meaningless, pointless accusations. Ugh. Went home and met with Joe A. to fix the Montero. The Monty was on it's best behavior, bitch. It's all "What?! I'm a good lil car." LIAR!!!!! It did, however, die at every stop. Something with the idle I guess. Joe fiddled with the snap ring and I will test drive it this weekend. He stayed for a moment and we talked - he's WAY effing cool!! Very much "my type" of guy. *wink* Then Rhi got me a Starbucks latte so I could stay up and finish my homework, which I got 1/3 done.

Thursday: Even harder day at work, but I expelled all the negativity. My time in CO is short, I don't have time for bitterness. I also got word that Seattle UOP rejected my transfer. It's just minor financial formalities and as my counselors said "Crystal - you gave us 5 months advance notice - I'm sure we can take care of anything and everything that might be a problem in 5 months." They are so awesome for putting up with me. I had such a day at work that I got a Starbucks for the cold, wet, snowy drive home - it's almost May people!! Meanwhile in Seattle, it's blue skies and in the high 60's! Dane is moping because he doesn't have his bike. I talked to him for a while, he went to LR's Burlesque show last night, I can't wait to hear about it. I even sat in my car in the parking lot and lay back and listened to relaxing music and took some deep breaths to prepare myself for school. I went to Panera and was dead set on broccoli and cheese soup, but then they had wild mushroom bisque!!! It is the BEST!! And it's vegetarian *wink*. School was fun, I was on the net half the time courtesy of UOP's wireless network. Then my computer died, unbeknownst to me laptops have a 2.5 - 3 hour battery life. I thought it would be more. Nope. Shoulda brought my power.

Today: At work, working at about 25%. Hey, it's cold and wet and gloomy! I am excited to go to HOK with Amy tonight and then see what happens from there - I'm up for anything. I've conned Rhi into being our DD.

So that's the latest, there will be more on thoughts/feelings and all that touchy stuff later.

On Time

I can't remember the last time I was actually on time to work. I'm always tweaking my schedule and coming in when I want, leaving 8 hours later, sometimes more, sometimes less. Today I was up the first time the alarm went off. I sat in the cold, quiet bed and wondered what it was about Dane that made me not want to wake up in the mornings. I got up and got ready in my *new* bathroom, it was nice to strut around naked in between getting dressed ready and bathroom ready, a commodity I have not been afforded since Sam moved in. Sam who is now the head of the house and moving into said shoes quite effortlessly. He sat at the head of the table, grilled his lunch/dinner, emerged from his room, kept his door open (so as to keep watch of the women-folk), made Rhi clean the bathroom, offered to mow the lawn when the time came, took the trash out. Rhi and I had to laugh because it seems like Sam was a hermit because Dane was around and now that he's gone Sam's all out and about throughout the house. This is funny because Sam is DANE'S friend originally!

So Friday was fun, I got drunk early and then danced it off by closing time. It was great to have Peck in town for the night, just like old times. Rhi handled her like the champ she is but suddenly she has a newfound respect for me and for taking care of me when I'm drunk. I'm a passerouter, when I get drunk, I'm happy passing out. Not hard to take care of the passed out chick. Peck, on the other hand, is the rowdy, rambunctious type that won't go to bed for NOTHING!! Rhi eventually took her to Karl and Ginger's house. Saturday was stressful, Dane procrastinates EVERYTHING till the last second and spent all day working on the Montero (something that could have been done throughout the last two weeks) and packing at midnight. I had little compassion for him and was thus called "heartless". I won't deny that. Yesterday it took me 3 hours to clean Dane's disgusting bathroom and move back in to it. I also used my Dyson vacuum for the first time *orgasm*. That thing is amazing - so smooth, quiet, easy to clean out. I love it.

Final thought: I have been wanting some alone time for a while now. I am all but ready to make the "plunge" with Dane, but first I've been needing some quiet, alone time. I consider it my last hoorah. I think I will enjoy having the time to myself to go tanning, hit the gym, study for school, and focus on getting my "ducks to quack in unison" (catchy phrase courtesy of Paula). I will undoubtably miss Dane, that's not my point. My point is I/we need this time before we transition into the next chapter of our lives. I need to seal up all loose ends here and spend much needed time with the friends and loved ones residing in CO (and it's neighboring states). Once in Seattle, it will only be Dane and I for a long time. Well, for ever really. So - good luck us, but I am looking forward to the next 4 months rather than dreading it.

The Final Goodbye

I know we said there would be a goodbye party for both Dane and I in September, but (as things often do) plans have changed. Our lease is up the end of August. Dane is limited on the amount of time he can take off so I will be the one to pack up the house and drive out of here. He will be here next month but only long enough for me to pick him up at the airport and drive out to Moab. Then he will be here July 1st, again only long enough for me to pick him up and the airport then ride our bikes out of town and up to Washingtion. So pretty much for all our friends, this is the last time they will see Dane unless they fly up to Seattle. Which you know how that is, that's the "I'll believe it when I see it" type thing. When emotions are flying and beer is in the tummy, people (especially me) tend to say things that they might not be good for. Cite reference two weeks ago when I told a friend that if her husband couldn't make it to London with her this September, I'd be her plan B. Well, it looks like I might be going to London. I laugh because I was totally buzzed hard core when I offered my participation and I figured she was too and it would be one of those things you guys just forget about but no, she remembered and she's willing and excited to take me. Hey, $650 for a trip to London, who wouldn't go?!?!

So the depression of Dane leaving, packing the house, leaving my friends and family, and trying to find a new job is settling in. I actually left work early yesterday because I was so nauseous (and slightly hungover). Everytime I look at the house, all I can think of is how labor intensive it's going to be to pack everything up. I'm getting rid of a lot of our stuff, which will be depressing too. I love my stuffed animals, but I don't know what I'd do with them for the rest of my life and I can't justify taking them with me. *heavy sigh* Then there's Isis's stuff. I'm not ready to even go through it, so I will just take it with me, it's already packed away in tupperware cartons. Then there's Dane's stuff, the cats, the long drive I will be taking. But if Peck could do it on her own, then so can I! I look forward to seeing everyone tonight, it should be a fun hoorah.

A Cowgirl and the Pacific Northwest - 2

Chapter Two - Sleepless in Seattle
In Seattle it is difficult to gage time. The cloud cover allows the sun to travel the skies virtually undetected. It was still soft and grey outside when the couple left for downtown. It was almost 7:00 pm on a Friday evening but the highways were congested worse than Crystal had ever seen. Big, black birds, seagulls, and pidgeons flew around navigating the same course as the Taurus, some birds stopping to rest on the booies in Lake Washington. It must have been rush hour for the birds too, as every booey was occupied. Arriving just on time at 7:30, Dane and Crystal walked into Elliot's to meet the VP and his partner. Crystal was adorned in a floor length black and red sarong with shells and mirrored sequins, black top with see-through lace empire waist, and hair down, Dane in his favorite grey slacks and black top. John and his partner, Terri, showed them to the table and ordered a bottle of red and a bottle of white. John asked if Dane and Crystal had ever tried oysters. When they replied no, John ordered a plate of fresh oysters to be delivered immediately. Cornered between impressing the VP and being rude, Crystal and Dane decided to overcome their intimidation of oysters and try something new. Dane was even more adventuresome than Crystal, for his first oyster was plain save one drop of Tabasco. Crystal piled on as much cocktail sauce as the little shell could withstand and waited till Dane slurped his oyster before continuing. To his suprise he enjoyed the sea critter and grabbed more. Crystal sat with her oyster cocktail, sipping red wine hoping it would give her the courage she needed to slurp the critter. Finally she took a shot. She did not vomit, like she feared she might, but she was not ready to try another one either. The dinner progressed nicely with exquisite seafood and wonderful wine. Dessert challenged a glass of cogniac for the hard core quests while Crystal sipped her Alpenwood through a straw laced with whipped cream. Around 10:30 Crystal and Dane thanked John and Terri for a wonderful evening and slipped out to find the luscious Laura Rose.

The studio on Fremont was small and inconspicous. Not at all what Crystal was expecting. Delilah was very happy to see Crystal and even gave Dane a hug, though she'd never met him. The three briefly discussed Seattle, then Crystal left to find Laura Rose to get ready for the evening. Crystal donned her famous Sailor Moon outfit, largely inspired by Laura Rose herself. Once ready, Crystal said her goodbyes to Eric and Delilah and left with Dane, Laura Rose, and her friend Cherokee. They went to a members only goth club called The Mercury. There were many hard core gothic-types of all sizes and shapes. The bartenders poured stout drinks and it wasn't long before Crystal was drunk and working the croud for attention telling anyone and everyone who bothered to listen "I'm from Denver, isn't that fun?!" Standing out in her white tank top, pig tails with white flowers, and white knee high stockings, Crystal was already making new friends in Seattle. The Mercury stops serving alcohol at 2, but stays open till 4. The group decided however to make their way back to Laura Rose's apartment and then meet up at one of her friend's house two blocks down. The small capital hill apartment was littered with drunk, stoned, and high twenty-something partiers. The tiny pad had a direct view of downtown Seattle and Crystal spent most the night talking to new people while Dane held a wall up and took it all in. Not long after the Pabst Blue Ribbon beer was passed to Dane did he decide it was probably time to go. About the same time a shirtless Crystal was saying goodbye to her shirtless new friends, both male and female. It doesn't change no matter what state you are in, females MUST get naked when they drink.

A Cowgirl and the Pacific Northwest

Chapter One - A Brand New Day
The cell phone alarm burst to life at the not-so-ripe hour of 4:00 am. Crystal groaned in protest, it can't possibly be that time already. A sleepy, one-eyed look at the wind-chime clock/alarm confirmed that it was, in fact, 4:00 am. "I have a few more minutes" Crystal thought as she weakly tugged at the covers weighed down by an overweight female calico cat. Soon the calico's two-toned brother approached the edge of the bed where Crystal lay. He announced that he was aware the alarm went off and in accordance to the Cat Owner Agreement, Crystal was to feed him immediately upon awaking in the mornings and in the evening upon arrival. 4:16 am. Time to get up lest Crystal miss another flight out of Denver. The bags had been packed the night before, the travel clothes neatly laid out. Crystal got ready, excitement mounting. She pulled her hair into her staple hairdo, a pony tail with a cheery twist on top. "It looks like a hairpiece." Crystal remarked to herself. Soon Crystal and Dane were on their way. Late as usual. Excitement mixed with anxious thoughts as they drove the 56 miles to the Denver International Airport. It was still dark being only 5:30 am but the sky was starting to show signs of light. The inky black was slowly being smeared with the royal blue hues of the coming morning. Sunlight. A sunrise. These things might be left in Denver along with a mascarade of other items. An array of bachelor furniture, a pile of worn tires, best friends, enemies, a good job. It was all becoming part of the past.

DIA is the home of a myriad of airline problems. Gates are always double booked, the concourse train is often out of order, security is inconsistant. Today the train was down. Crystal and Dane exchanged a knowing smile, both thinking about the life they were stepping into and the life they were leaving behind. Once on the plane things weren't much smoother. Several mechanical failures and even the failure of emergency vehicles brought a worrisome cloud over most passengers, but Crystal and Dane were content - what a small thing to fret when there was so much left to do!

Soon after 10:00 am Crystal and Dane stepped off the Thrifty Rental shuttle bus...it was wet. Crystal said as much to Dane with a touch of shock and distaste. The other bus riders chortled in response "Welcome to Seattle!" It was everything people say it is. Overcast, rainy, a sense of quietness all about. The couple loaded the Silver Ford Taurus and headed off to the mall. Dane had accidently spilt Diet Coke all over Crystal's only pair of jeans for the weekend. Crystal, completely unconsolible about the pending trip to the mall, scolded Dane for his carelessness. Dane, knowing the pending trip to the mall scolded himself for his carelessness. The mall yielded two great pairs of jeans, a cute pink top with matching sweater, and a 20 gage nose ring. Crystal was feeling good because she was able to fit in the size she thought she was quite nicely. Dane was happy that the trip was relatively low in cost and quick in nature. Crystal always goes in right for the kill, no time to fool around.

The two crazed their way to downtown Seattle to the infamous Pike Place Market. They walked the market and ate a fast lunch overlooking Puget Sound above the Seattle Aquarium. Then the two muddled their way to Redmond for an impromptu meeting with the VP of Denali, the company that hired Dane to work in Seattle. Once there it was decided to visit the site of the client Dane would be working for. Site being an understatement, Dane and the VP, John, fled to one of the Boeing campuses. Crystal found a place to relax and get a much needed pedicure. Later, the two rejoined at the hotel on the disturbingly quiet and elusive Microsoft Campus. The Microsoft Buildings were many - so many that it Microsoft is listed on the map, like it was a national monument. It practically is.

A Beautiful Day

So I can always tell in my Tuesday performance of Yoga if I have been drinking the weekend before. I mean obviously I know if I went drinking regardless, but I can always tell how much it effects me. And I pulled my back on Monday, so that didn't help the cause. But see that's the amazing thing about Yoga. One day you can be a Yoga-Superstar, the next day you can barely do Half Moon. I am going to start going to Yoga 2 -3 times a week now that the man is leaving. It's sad, I'm beginning to realize how long this next 6 months is going to be. Dane and I had a great night at dinner and hanging out last night. It was a lot of fun. I really am going to miss him immensely. *sigh* Then my transfer from Denver to Seattle might not go so seamless. UOP Seattle doesn't have the same timeline as Denver, so there will be a 6 month lag time. So now instead of graduating April 2006, I won't graduate till October 2006. I suppose it's a small concession to make to be with Dane, but it is still frustrating.

In other news, life is crazy here at work with the Dear Abby column. Once Dane leaves I will take advantage of some overtime, maybe pay off some bills sooner. I think that with Dane not being around I won't go out to eat/drink as often (maybe once or twice a month). That will help with the budget and the waistline. I plan to live off Weight Watcher/Healthy Choice meals once he's gone. I will have all the time I need to tan, ride my bike to the gym, exercise at home, go to more Yoga classes, belly dance more often. *sigh* I'm sad.

I need to get a web cam, a laptop, and a vacuum in the next two weeks. I'm gonna get a Dyson - those things are cool.

Seattle or Bust!

Well, it's official. We are going to Seattle. FAQ
1. When will you leave for Seattle?: Dane leaves for Seattle on April 24th. He will be back in Denver the end of May and *maybe* June (if we go to Jamaica/other). I will not leave till the end of September. I have school, work, rental lease, and other loose ends to tie up in Denver.

2. Does this mean I will never see Dane again?: No. Friday, April 22nd, we are going to have a get-together to congratulate Dane on his job and see him off with warm hugs and wishes. Special guest appearances by Peck and (hopefully) Paula. The end of September will host the official going-away party for me and Dane.

3. What about the Luau?: I am sorry, but the Luau is cancelled.

4. Why are you moving to Seattle?: Dane is moving because he was offered a great job opportunity complete with better pay, benefits, fringe benefits, better/bigger company, etc. I am moving because my options are: move with Dane or leave him. There is no question what I am choosing. I am excited to go to Seattle because I can learn the art of belly dance from the dazzling Delilah delightening and the lucious Laura Rose. :) Seattle is also bigger and has a bigger accounting community - for reasons I do not know. Seattle also has great universities for me to attend.

5. Is there a UOP in Seattle?: Yes - there are 5 UOP locations for me to choose from. From there I will most likely attend Seattle University for my dual master's program.

6. Where will Dane live when he's in Seattle?: Dane will reside in corporate housing until I come up in September. The house has high speed internet.

7. Are you going to see Dane after he moves to Seattle? Will you be lonely?: I will see Dane in May and June in Denver. I will probably fly up to Seattle to see him in July, August, and September so I can assume a job and help with the house hunting process. Yes, we will be extremely lonely and miss each other a lot, but we will both have a lot going on to keep us occupied. And there's always late night yahoo. :)

8. How is Rhi handling this?: Rhi is a trooper. She realizes this is a step Dane and I have to make and is supportive and helpful to the enth degree. She is considering her options at this time and will probably make more concrete decisions as the summer wears on. She is sad, but understands (better than I did at her age I might add) that this is a simple fact of life. We are all aware that distance in location does not mean there has to be a distance in friendship.

9. Are you scared?: I'm spooked outta my g*d-d*mned mind!! I have never cut the apron strings (so to speak). Although I have lived on my own for a while, I have never really been away from mommy and daddy and that will be a big adjustment for me to make. But I'm just as excited as I am scared.

10. Will you have to rely on Dane?: For what? No. Dane and I have always been both self-sufficient and each other's number one resource. I plan to have a job upon my arrival in Seattle. If not, then Dane and I will help each other out so that we realize the right path in the right time.

11. How do you feel about leaving C&C?: I am very sad. Again, there was/is no question regarding my decision to follow Dane out to Seattle. Having said that, I am making certain concessions to be with him. Leaving an absolutely fabulous dream job is one of them. I have all the flexibility, benefits, mentoring, great pay, etc. that a 25 yr old could possibly want here. I love the people, I love the mission, I love what I do, I love my office, I love it. However, having said that - there is something to be said for being too comfortable and (as my friend Joe pointed out today) stagnant. He never stays at a job longer than 2 years and explained that he gets more experience that way, never gets bored or comfortable. I like that. I never planned on staying at C&C my whole career (thank you Paula) and as the beautiful Gwen Stefani would say "Whatchu waiting for? Take a chance, you stupid hoe. Take a chance cause you might grow."

12. Who can I contact to talk about taste loss in beer? http://www.preventtasteloss.com/home_ptl.jsp

I am a beautiful flower, with nothing interesting to say

Well there isn't much new to speak of per se. I think I bombed the Law test last Thursday, but the grades haven't posted so I can't be sure. Last weekend was spent watching a lot of movies (Bridget Jones, Ray, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Sin City) all were great. I still want to see Finding Neverland but incidentally I can never find it. I rested well, ate take out, and accomplished nothing. It was a great mini-vacation. I always spend my time off in some far off place going a thousand miles a minute. It was nice to just sit at home in my woobie sarong, hang out with the kitties and roomies. Sometimes being sick is good I think.

I've been thinking more about the Seattle business. Dane still hasn't received an offer one way or another, I secretly wonder if they are using him for free consulting - like stringing him along, then they will cut him loose. I don't know, our industries are so different, this is probably just how it works. He doesn't seem to be worried. I have put my resume on Monster and I even applied for an interesting job - we'll see what bites. I'm so scared and nervous, but I'm also excited. I would be sad if this didn't happen for us. I worry to much I think.

Rhi got a hampster yesterday. His name is Stinkigh, because when Dane was talking smack about him he straight up stood on his hind legs and stared at Dane for a long time giving him the "stink eye". Dewey broke the lamp surrounding the hampster's cage. Apparently Stinkigh intrigues Dewey more than Gerbil did. Maybe it's the glass cage. Then I waited behind Rhi's door while she was showering and when she came out and into her room, I silly stringed her. It was amusing, but not to Rhi I think.

I'm done.